The Boston Globe from Boston, Massachusetts • 91

91 Whiny 'Beethoven': No music to your ears THE BOSTON GLOBE FRIDAY, APRIL 3, 1992 I a By Betsy Sherman SPECIAL TO THE GLOBE BEETHOVEN -Directed by: Brian Levant Written by: Edmond Dantes, Amy Holden Jones Starring: Charles Grodin, Bonnie Hunt, Dean Jones At: Copley Place, suburbs Rated: PG if' 5 -sfaSJ tions maker can test out his new exploding bullets. Will Beethoven be used for target practice? Underlying this formulaic plot is a strange tone of desperateness in the movie's smiley-faced depiction of a "perfect" suburban nuclear family. An assortment of grotesque supporting characters become threats to the family, and are dispatched by Beethoven. There's the yuppie couple, Brad and Brie, who want to invest in George's air-freshener business; since it turns out that they don't like kids or dogs, they're dragged across the lawn by Beethoven and chased from the neighborhood (hmm, did the movie's producers accept investments only from people who help little old ladies across the And the shortcomings of the tacky middle-aged neighbor lady who takes care of the kids for one day cause Alice to declare, "I'm not re-entering the workforce!" For a family that's not missing any meals, they do more whimpering than any of the animals in the movie. You'd have to be awfully young not to know how predictable the gags are in the new dog movie "Bee-lUlnvio thoven," which fea-e tures a St.

Ber-R6VIGW nard who wreaks havoc in a suburban household but wins his way into even the uptight father's heart. What's surprising is, beneath all the slapstick and cartoonish action, how whiny "Beethoven" is. Somebody has been kidnapping dogs for experimentation. Under cover of darkness, two bumbling goons raid a pet shop. The dogs escape from the truck; a cute little St.

Bernard puppy wanders into the spacious suburban house of the Newtons. The three children and mother Alice (Bonnie Hunt) are in stantly won over; father George (Charles Grodin, who manages not to make an idiot of himself) is a control freak who shudders at the thought of a drooling dog in his tJ I TrVA tl ZAiT Charles Grodin is a control freak who shudders at the thought of a drooling dog in his household. ride along 'Highway to Hell' v. 'i ZTk rN; and the film, despite the implausible setting, turns into the inevitable routine chase. "Highway to Hell" is largely a case of ingenuity triumphing over commercial limitations.

Makeup effects and miniature models are deployed sparingly, but effectively (Bergin looks pretty scary in full Satanic makeup, even if he is restricted to head-and-shoulder shots, and Cerberus, the three-headed canine guardian, passes muster as well) and every detail (Hellcop's handcuffs are real hands) gets an appropriate highlight. Director De Jong, until the finale, not only keeps the jokes evenly spaced, he heightens the ee-' rie, otherworldly loneliness of the stark desert landscapes and gives the thrills and horrors proper due, too. It's a movie for people who like extra seasoning for routine fare. IcLmbrtrJet. MA 02134 i ir 9 OZOL At Barillari ftmblithm' ra' -a- VViVkJ list prices' Over 100,000 titles, 35 off current N.Y.T.

hardcover bestsellers. OPEN LATE EVERY NIGHT. One Mifflin Place Harvard Square Across Mt Auburn St from Lhilri 864-2400 I Wr aba ship. Far order ouUMe the C1T arcs, dial 1- 800-772-1448 first hour frrf at Hanvrd Square Parking iHiraof untu purrnane I. IE III HIGHWAY TO HELL Directed by: Ate De Jong Screenplay by: Brian Helgeland Starring: Chad Lowe, Kristy Swanson, Richard Farnsworth Playing at: Beacon Hill and suburbs Once the action shifts to this desert underworld, screenwriter Brian Helgeland and director Ate De Jong unleash a satirical plague of damnations.

tions: In a roadside cafe, dead policeman spend an eternity waiting in vain to be served coffee by a hellishly chatty waitress (comedian Anne Meara; her husband, Jerry Stiller, is one of the cops), and at a roadside gambling house called Hoffa's a waiter barks into a phone, "No, Jimmy ain't here." And these aren't even the best. With the assistance of a suspiciously helpful auto mechanic named Beezle (Patrick Bergin), Charlie makes his way to Satan's capital city, discovering along the way that the devil has a particular interest in stealing virgins, a revelation that embarrasses Charlie almost as much as it endangers Rachel. After spurning some mighty attractive temptations, Charlie confronts the horned, yellow-eyed archfiend in his lair, eventually rescuing Rachel and making a run for it. There's an innocent young boy whom Satan grabbed before his due time, and a spurned devilish-protege-turned-motorcycle-rebel along for the ride, but the road back isn't as much fun as the way in, household. But he gives in, and they name the dog Beethoven because he responds happily to Beethoven's Fifth Symphony.

To the strains of "Roll Over Beethoven," we see the puppy grow into a behemoth and get into all sorts of mischief. The big lug even has some kind of intuition, and helps the kids with their personal problems: He brings the older daughter together with the boy she has a crush on and helps the little boy scare off the playground bullies. We find out that the villain behind the pet-nappings is the local veterinarian, played by ah, the irony former Disney goody-goody Dean Jones. He needs to procure a dog with a nice big skull so a muni ROCK-A-DOODLE Directed by. Gary Goldman, Dan Kuenster Screenplay by: David N.

Weiss Voices of: Glen Campbell, Christopher Plummer, Phil Harris, Sandy Duncan, Eddie Deezen, Charles Nelson ReiUy, Sorrell Booke, Ellen Greene, Toby Scott Granger Playing at: Copley Place, suburbs Rated: originality is a puffed-up owl as villain. Voiced by Christopher Plummer, it plays Bach's Toccata in minor on a skyscraper-sized organ and is routed by flashlight beams. A greedy talent manager named Pinky is fun, too, from his pink helicopter to his pink tailfin Caddy. In fact, it's when the rooster named Chanticleer gets to the big city that the film be Circle: "Straight Talk," at 1:15, 3:15. 5:15, 7:25, 9.30.

'TAundemeart," at noon, 2:25, 4:50, 7:30. 10:10, 12:20: "Beetnoen." at 12:45, 2:50. 4:55, 7. 9:15. Cutting Edge." at 12:20.

2:40, 5. 7:35, 10, "White Men Canl Jump," at 12:30, 2:50. 5:10, 7:45, 10:15, "Basic mstmct," at 1:30. 4:20, 7:15, 10, "Fned Green Tomatoes," at 1:35, 4:15, 7, 9:45, 12:15 CooNdga Comer: "Daughters of Dust," at 3:20, 5:30, 7:45, 9:55 p.m.; "Rhapsody in August." at 4, 6. 8 p.m.; "Beyond Valley of Dolls," at rndrngnt: "Victor's Big Score." at midnight Cooler Place: "Straight Teh." at 1L 1:10.

3:10. 5:20, 7:30, 9:40. "Thunderheait" at 10. 12:20. 2:40, 5.

7:20, 9:40, "Beethoven," at 10, noon, 2. 4. 6. 8. 1ft "fiock-Ooodle." at 10.

11:40. 1:30. 3:20. 5:10, "lady-ougs," at 10:40, 1:10, 3:20. 7:40, 10, mdnighc "This Is My We." at 10:10, 12:30, 2:50, 5:10.

7:30, 9:50. midnight; "Mississippi Masala," at 10:30. 110, 3:50. 7:20. "Hear My Song," at 9:40 p.m., midnight; "Fned Green Tomatoes," at It 1:45.

4:30, 7:15. "Noises Off." at 7:30, 9 30. midnight: "Compiei World," at 8, 10. midnight: "Bugsy." at 10:15. 1:15.

4:15. 7. 9:45: "Adventures of Great Mouse Detective." at 10 15. 12:15. 2:15, "Beauty and the Beast," at 10, neon, 2, 4.

6. 8, 10 Freak Pee, Canariage: "Beethoven," at 12:45, 2:15. 4:45, 7:15, "Thurioeitieart." at 12:30, 2:55, 5:15, 7:40, 101ft "Straight TaK" at 1:20. 3:20. 5:20.

7:20, 92ft 'Sock Oooae." at 1 3. 5. "larjyougs." at 1 3. 5. 7, 9: -Cutting Edge," at 1.

3:10. 5:20. 7:30. "Rudy." at 9 m. only; "White Men Cant Jump." at 12:30.

2:50, 5:10, 7:30, 9:50: "Base at 12:30. 2:55. 5:20, 7:50, "My Cousn Vtrmy." at 12:30 3, 5:20, 7:50, "Beauty and Die Beast." 1. 2.40, 4:20. "Pnnce of Toes." 10:10 Harare' Sejaaras "Poer of Ore." at 130.

4:15. 7:20. Christopher Plummer is the voice of the puffed-up evil owl in "Rock-a-Doodle." 'Rock-a-Doodle' is outdone by retro decor I I A rollicking By Henry Sheehan SPECIAL TO THE GLOBE If you want to update the Greek legend of Orpheus, the singer who traveled to Hades to rescue his wife, Mnvip vou could do what Jean Cocteau did KeVieW in his poetic "Or- phee" and find all kinds of somber modern artistic parallels. But that's not the way for the sardonic talents behind "Highway to Hell." In their version, Orpheus is transformed into a Southwest teenager, Charlie Sykes, who chases down his young bride-to-be, Rachel Clark, after she's kidnapped by Hell-cop, a highway patrolman from way down under. And while their version may not resonate with mythic force, it sure does provide for some offbeat humor and good-natured thrills.

The film opens with young Charlie (Chad Lowe) and Rachel (Kristy Swanson) intent on eloping to Las Vegas and nervous about cops, de-touring from an interstate onto an old desert road. There, despite the dire warnings of an old gas station owner, Sam (Richard Farnsworth), Charlie falls asleep driving through an enchanted stretch of road between two twisted Joshua trees. Suddenly, in a burst of flame and roar of superchargers, they are overtaken by Hellcop (C.J. Graham), a silent sentinel with a face scarred with totemic symbols, who grabs Rachel and disappears. Charlie consults Sam and learns that the highway hides a hidden door to Hell; following the old man's instructions, Charlie passes the portals himself, ending up in an underworld that looks an awful lot like Arizona highways.

Once the action shifts to this desert underworld, screenwriter Brian Helgeland and director Ate De Jong unleash a satirical plague of damna- SPECIALIZED. i 89 Brighton Ave, BOSTON 783-5804 tfwith purchase while get a 66 I II comes most interesting, for visual reasons. The nightclub settings have a nice late-'50s-early-'60s extravagance and the neon sign jungle is exuberant, too. "Rock-a-Doodle" is retro heaven, from its moderwe-strewn streets to Pinky's big trailer, complete with flagstone patio. Not since The Jet-sons" have we had an animation with such kicky period-embracing art direction.

But you perhaps begin to see what the trouble is here. Chanticleer (voiced by Glen Campbell) is agreeable enough, but he and the others (including Toby Scott Granger as the real boy living the story) are so standard-issue and their story so bland that they're quite upstaged by the decor. "Rock-a-Doodle" goes over old ground inoffensively and with moments of charm, but you're always aware it's old ground. 9:50, midnight; "Fned Green Tomatoes," 1:30, 4:30, 7:15, 9:45, midnight; "Mambo Kings," 12:45, 2:55. 5:15, 7:35, 10, 'Waynes World." 1.

3, 5, 7:30, 9:45. "Mississw Masala," 12:45. 3, 5:15, 7:40, "Rocky Horror" only, at 12:15 a.m. iaaat deem: "Shadows and Fog," at 1:30. 3:30, 5:20, 7:30, 9:40 Nickelodeoa: "Roadside Prophets," at 1, 3, 5:10, 7:25, 9:45, rmdntght; "Where Angels Fear to Tread," at 1, 3:15, 5:30, 7:45, 10.

"Power of One." at 1:30. 4, 7:15, 9:50, "Toto le Heros." at 1:30. 3:30, 5:15, 7:20, 9:20, "Mambo Kmgs," 1:15, 3:25. 5:40, 7:55, 10:10, 12:10 Paris: "Shadows and Fog," at 1:30, 3:30. 5:30, 7:40, 9:50 Revere: "Straight Ta," at 1:15.

3:15, 5:15, 7:25, 9:30, "Roat-a-Doodle," at noon, 1:45, 3:30. 5:30, Tnunderheart." at noon. 2:25, 4:50. 7:30, 10:10. "Beethoven," at 12:45.

2:50. 4:55, 7, 915. "Power of One," at 1:40. 4:20, 7:20. 10.

"Whne Men Cant Jump." on MO screens, at 12:30. 1:45. 2:50. 4.15. 5:10, 7:15.

7:45, 945. 10:15, 12:10, "Fned Green Tomatoes," at 7:45. 10:20. 12:40: "Beauty and the Beast" at noon. 2, 4, "Cutting Edge," at 12:30, 2:45, 5, 7:35, 10.

"Base Instinct, on two screens, at 1, 1:30, 3:45, 7:10, 9:50, 12:15: "Uwnmower Man," at 7:40. 12:35: la-dvbugs," at 12:15, 2:20. 4:30. 7, 9:20. "Mamoo Kmgs." at 4:15.

9. 11: "My Cousn Vnny," at noon, 2:30, 4:55. 7:35, 10:15. "Wayne World," at 12:35, 2:45, 5. 7:40.

10, 12:15 SaiertMi Theater (Paris Seeareh of Arwnatton," at 7, 9:30. Movie schedules are subject to unexpected changes. Gear Up For The Bicycle Sale of TlieYear By Jay Carr GLOBE STAFF Don Bluth is one of those behind the current animation revival, and he keeps it going in mildly entertaining Mnvie fashion with movie "Rock-a-Doodle." R6YI6W Insofar as a reso lutely unambitious screenplay will let him. Rendered in a style somewhere between vintage Fleischer and middle-period Disney, its story is slight a rooster goes to the big city and becomes an Elvis clone before finding his way home again with his barnyard pals. In a sense, it's so old-fashioned it's re-' freshing.

When was the last time you saw a film present a big city as fresh and exciting, and a farm as the cradle of nourishing values? About all it offers in the way of MMm Ctmii: "Iwmmower Man," a 9. 11:10 p.m.; Rock-a-Ooodie." at noon. 1:45, 3:30. 5:30, "Laoy-'' 'bugs," at 12:30, 2:35, :5, 7:10, 9:30, 11:30 Mattel Regcafc at 7, 9:20 p.m. OiieMBly Saurt: -Thundemeart," at 1:30.

4.30, 7:15. 9:50. mdni0it; "Straight Tak." at 12:50, 2:55, 5:10. 7:45, J. 9:50.

"Beethmen," at 12:40, 3. 5:15. 7:30. 9:30, 11:30: "Rock-a-Doodle," at 12:10, 2. 3:50.

5:30, "White Men Cant Jump," at 1:20, 4:20, 7:10. 9:40, "lady-' ougs." at 12 40. 2:50. 5. 7:20, 9:20.

"Cuttng Edge," at 1. 3:25. 5:40. 10:20, "Base Insonct," at 1:40, 4:40. 7:25.

9:55. "fcnencan Me," at 9 p.m., md-mgMt "My Casing Vmny." at 12:15. 2:40, 5, 7:35, 10, "lanmoer Man." 7:50, 10:15. of Great Mouse Detective." 3. 5: "Wayne's Wortd." 12:45.

3:10, 1.5:20. 7:40. 9:45. "fried Green Tomatoes," 7:25, 10; "Beauty and the Beast." 12:30, 2:35, 4:20. 6 Beacaa Nil: "Hiay to Hel." at 1:30.

3:30. 5:30. 7:45, 10; "Exposure," at 1 3:10, 7:40. 10; "American Me," at 1:45. 4:15.

7:15. 9:45 BrattHK "Beauty and the Beast" (1946 versonl. shown mm "Un Chen Andauu," at 3:30. 5:30, 7:40. 9:50 p.m.

Charits: "Pnnce of Tides." 1:30, 4:30. 7:10. 9 40. "lan-Mmoxer Man," 1, 3:10, 5:20. 7:30, 4:30, .8:15 Cfcett "Cutting Edge." at 1:10.

3.20. 5:40. 7:55. 10, i 12:10: "Base InsDna," at 1:15. 4:15.

7:20. 9:50. 12:10: "Wayne's at 1:30. 3:40, 5:50. 10 10.

"My 1 Cousn Vtony." at 3:15. 5:30. 7:45. 10. 12:15 Caul 1 IHfc Tow of One." at 1:15, 4, 7:10.

940: "My Cousn Virmy." noon. 2:30. 4:55, 7:25, 10: "Vamoo Kings." 12:10. 2:40. 5, 7:30.

"Wayne World," 12:40. 2:55. 5:10, 7:20. 9:30. "Bugsy." at 10.

7 Caw aw 57: "Whne Men Card Jump," at 12:30. 7:30, "Ruoy." at 12:45, 3, 5:15, 7:40, 10 Walk, run, jog, drive ot fake the but to International Bicycle Centers' "Annual Geot-op-for-Spring We're selling our entire stock of 1991 SPECIALIZED bikes at amazing low prices while they last. And to celebrate the Grand Opening of our 2 new stores, oil 1992 bikes are on sale, too. Here's just few of our sale items: 1991 SPECIALIZED Crossroads was $439.95 now $349.95 1 991 SPECIALIZED Sirrus with Shimano RX 100 Group was $619.95 now $449.95 1991 SPECIALIZED Allez Epic was $969.95 now $699.95 1991 SPECIALIZED Hard Rod Sport was $409.95 now $31 9.95 SPECIALIZED Computer was $39.95 now $29.95 All SPECIALIZED rubber accessories 20 off. Plus many more accessories ol unbeatable prices.

i i i Needham NEWTOli 527-0967 Sot Sun, Meet the players. Check the score. Relive the highlights of the game, and take a look at some terrific action photos when you turn to Sports in The Globe. For home delivery call (617) 466-1818. (Ehc Boston supplies lost..