The High Point Enterprise from High Point, North Carolina • Page 17

High Point Enterprise, Thursday, January 7, 1971 7B Ralph Nader Quoted At His House On Every Attic By DON G. CAMPBELL NEW YORK (WNS) The possible psychic dangers of reading loo many Ralph Nader-Inspired consumerism stories at a single sitting were illustrated recently when I found my wife crouched on our top book shelf like a stuffed animal souvenir of the Seattle World's Fair. "The electric can-opener attacked me," she explained, I said, benignly, "the electric can- opener is our friend, A more probable explanation is that you're either over-worked, or that you've been at the cooking sherry again," I led her to the kitchen door to prove that the electric can- opener was innocently minding its own business. Agleam in its virginal-white, enamel dickey, the can-opener eat on the counter with the lid of a coffee can still caught, rakiskly, in its magnetic maw. For a minute it bore an uncomfortable resemblance to a squat, white mouse smiling At Least He Has Ambition BRAINTREE, a (WNS) Life Rosemary Elliott, 25, has become one long pub crawl since she married Comus Elliott, 30, three years ago.

"My husband is determined to drink a pint of beer in each one of Britain's 70,000 pubs," she explained. "It's a fun hobby, you know." So far Mrs. Elliott has been to 1,657 pubs and gets an autograph from each proprietor. "Comus has passed the 5,000 mark in 14 years," she reported. "It will take us forever to do them all, but it's nice to have a lifetime ambition." proudly with an a i mouse at Its mercy, a i triumphantly, "It slashed at me with that sharp top! Ralph Nader says that the can- opener industry callously plunging ahead in i preoccupation with turning out functional can-openers without regard to adequate consumer safeguards was responsible for countless thousands of severe cuts on housewives last year when an estimated 214,972 electric can-openers ran amok!" I'puzzled over this charge.

"Aren't you a I asked. "I don't recall Nader saying anything about can- openers. As a matter of fact, Tremember remarking at the time that virtually the only fields which a Prescribed Worked COLOGNE, West Germany (WNS) Erna Flieger's doctor turned thumbs, down on her sleeping pills and prescribed a two-mile stroll every evening after supper to prepare her for proper rest. During her first nightly stroll, the 28-year-old fraulein received a forehead bump from car, reported a store burglary as it was going on, and used her judo successfully to discourage a stranger who tried to force his attentions on her. "I never slept more soundly in my life than after, getting safely home," she declared.

Raiders' gave a clean bill of health were the electric can- opener and teething ring the teething ring Industry," she corrected me, gently. "The average teething ring was found to be 85 per cent less nutritious than the mother's knuckle, and per cent more harmful to natural gum development than the standard, walnut, chair leg. You've got teething rings i a "Nader," I said, bristling, "was particularly critical of soap they give you red spots, inside and out." "Well, whatever it was he okayed, it certainly wasn't electric can-openers. Maybe it was "Don't be silly," I said in exasperation. "According to FLOWERS For All Occasions High Point's Leading Florist GRACE FLOWER SHOP North Wrenn St.

Westwood Phone 888-4065 and 882-161 7 Your Happy Shopping Store Westchester Mall GET A BEAUTIFUL 11x14 OR 8 PORTRAIT ONLY $100 NO HANDLING CHARGE THIS WEEK 3 DAYS ONLY THURSDAY I A SATURDAY THRU A I I A Thurs.liFri. 12 Horn'Till Snt. 10A.M.'Til 5 PJMLunch 1-21 Glamor Home Coats Jackets 1 1 Nice Selection Robes OFF Sizes 38--40 1 Table of Brassiere Sizes 32 thro 46 A Cups 2 PRICE Selection of Dresses PRICE All 12 38 thru 52 "We Fit Tkc Hard To Fit" BANK CHARGE AND OURS Glamor Home Nader the only germs lhat arc killed by aro those thai have never learned to swlrn. For the rest of them, it's like a cool shower on a hoi day." Being careful not to turn her back on the can-opener, my wife sal down heavily on the kitchen stool. "I distinctly recall reading, someplace, that there was some sort A i a business, or other, that met Nader's approval.

It wasn't electric can-openers, but it was something like that." "It's a simple matter of elimination," I said. "All we have to do is check off the areas where Nader's Raiders have been making headlines over the past few months and see what's "Ail right," she said, ticking off on her fingers, "there's the business of smoking commercial a i 1 i and buses, preferential property taxes, automobile. air bags, mercury pollution, flush toilets on trains, Exriedrln, the ITT- Harlford Fire I a safety, i birth control a occupational wheels and She look a deep breath and began on her toes. "Also, nuclear power pl.ant radiation, laundry soap electroculion of patients under treatment by medical devices, color a i 1 financing, sick chickens, credit reporting, baby foods, weed killers, She seized me by the wrist and began ticking off on my fingers, "also, a a i a overdoses on Negro patients, pipeline explosions "Ah ha you see!" I chortled gleefully. "That takes you back six whole and you didn't even MENTION electric can-openers "1 guess thai must be scheduled for next week," she said, lamely.

"in I became aware of her steely blue eyes i through me, and the unnatural silence lhat had descended over the kitchen. SO EASY! SO QUICK! SO SIMPLE! A 5x7 PORTRAIT IN SPARKLING COLOR ONLY SATISFACTION GUARANTEED OR MONEY CHEERFULLY REFUNDED 'In the a said, coldly, "I think, maybe Nader should have a look at YOU-. Twenty-one years ago you sold yourself to me as handsome, dashing, brilliant and full of promise a clear case i i a mislabeling worthy of the i A i a pharmaceutical house." "And," she warmed to the task, "you're the only husband in the neighborhood who can change a burned-out light bulb and cause a 40-block power a i a obsolescence." "You're wrong on that score," I protested, stiffly, a part of the mislabeling I told you I was mechanically handy, Anyway, I may be obsolete and mislabeled, but you've got to admit one fast to leap at any task around the house that needs attention!" "Nader covered that, loo," she said. "He called it 'Unsafe At Any One Sitting Per Subject One 38c Special Per Family Additional Each (Groups or Individuals) 2300 NORTH MAIN ST. PHOTOGRAPHER ON DUTY.

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