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iviy FAVORITE jokes EDITOR'S NOTE: This September Rodney Dangerf/e/d will celebrate the sixth anniversary of the opening of his dub, Dangerfield's, a New York night spot which enjoys a consistent success-perhaps because in addition to owning /t Rodney is also a regular attraction. Being owner as well as performer can have its drawbacks though. Rodney remembers: "There were about 200 people in here the other night, and this guy called out, 'Say, Rodney, let me have your -autograph and some butter, will ya?"" Rodney is the comedian who made famous the line, "1 don't get no respect." His comedy epitomizes'the self- deprecating guy--the guy who is always in a quandary. Rodney doesn't even get respect from his dog. He bought the dog so he could take it out and meet girls. "My dog was too smart. My dog was using me to get other dogs," he says. Because he has strong feelings about comedy, he writes all of his own material, and explains: "The idea is to make people feel that its happening right now. You can have a skeleton of what you're doing, but you can't stick to one script night after nignt, because comedy is mood. You have to adjust to the mood and slowly bring them back' into a situation." Rodney is a frequent guest on TV talk shows, has starred in the movie, The Projectionist, and made the record albums: "I Don't Get No Respect" (Bell) and "Rodney Dangerf/e/d--The Loser" (DeccaJ. Here is Rodney in his comedy of complaint and lamentation: When I was a kid I went to a really tough school. Every day there was a fight in the schoolyard, unless there was a tall guy and a short guy. Then they used to fight on a hill. Â· My dog really drives me crazy. Last night for half an hour he wouldn't let go of a bone. It was in my finger: Â· My kid drives me nuts. For three years by RodNcy dAwqER field now he goes to a private school. He won't tell me where it is. There was a woman gambling in Las Vegas. She got seven numbers in a row --mine, and six other guys. I met one girl at a dance. I figured I'd get her phone number. The most she would give me was her area code. You .can't forget old friends. You try, but they won't let you. I just stayed in a hotel where the owners were so dumb, on the picture postcards of the hotel the rooms weren't made up. I went to a travel agent with my wife. She asked him for tips on a pleasure cruise. He looked at me. He told her to go alone. My wife is always trying to get rid of me. The other day she told me to put the garbage out. I said to her I already put out the garbage. She told me to go and keep an eye on it. I have a strange psychiatrist: I told him my wife and I are slowly drifting apart. He showed me how to speed it up. I got no respect even as a child. I'd sit in a swing. I waited two hours before I got a push. Â· I remember a time when I was a kid and had a fever. They put a thermometer in my mouth. I remember the words of my old man. "All right,kid, bite hard." Â· My wife always taught me there was one side to every story. Â· My wife doesn't show me any respect either, when she drives my car. The other night she went through three red lights--two of them in the back of a truck. Â· My wife's always got a smart^answer. The other day I came home; I opened the front door and yelled out, "I'm home, I'm home." My wife told me to stop repeating myself. Â· ' I didn't get no respect even on my wedding night. My-wife told me we were seeing too much of each other. Â· I live in a tough neighborhood. Once Santa Claus came to a store in my neighborhood. A kid sat on his lap, and he picked the kid's pocket. Â· I had an uncle who.was a very clean person. As a matter of fact, when my uncle died, as a tribute to his cleanliness, the entire funeral procession went through a car wash. Â· I don't get no respecl from my kids. I asked my daughter, what do you want to be when you grow up? She looked at my wife--she said, "Single." Â· One time I went for a job interview. The guy looked at me. I thought, he liked me. Then he told me to go home and bring a history.of my family stump. IT'S TO Uuqh A. KAUFMAN Stop the torture of Problem Itching Â· Dry Skin Itching ^ Â· Personal Itching Â· Insect Bites Â· Chafing i Rashes Now get fast, long-lasting relief from all kinds of itching, even embarrassing personal membrane itch with LANACANE Medicated Creme. You sec, itching causes scratching, which causes more itching. Thai's what Doctors recognize as the "itch-scratch-itch cycle." LANACANE works because it breaks thus cycle. LANACANE relieves itching, soothes irritation, checks bacteria growth helps speed healing. For trial sample, send 25c to LANACANE, Box 768 RA, Greenwich. Conn' 06830. Also try LANACANE SMIAY for relief of skin in pain from I _ sunburn, itching * Â· Â« Â· - Â· -- . . . -- " " everyday hurts. 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