Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia on September 10, 1972 · Page 103
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Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia · Page 103

Charleston, West Virginia
Issue Date:
Sunday, September 10, 1972
Page 103
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Page 103 article text (OCR)

Mother Nature "i has disowned my garden. Not only are all the flowering plants In revolt, but what little grass once grew there has apparently receded into the earth. I'll admit I was more than a little shocked to find that weeks of planting, watering and waging war against the weeds had been in vain. In one fatal blow, the entire operation was wiped out. I should have realized I was in trouble when I consulted our crack garden editor Anne Howard for advice on both hoaseplants and flowerbeds. She began milling around In a towering stack of gardening books and came up with several volumes which she recommended for my perusal. Now, if I'd wanted to wade through a dozen books, I would have gone to the library. So I put Anne's ability to the test. I asked for her advice, to be drawn, mind you, from personal experience. Our conversation went something like this: "Do African, violets need a lot of sunshine?" Anne: "Well, some do and some don't." "Should they be watered, frequently?" Anne: "Well some should and some shouldn't." This went on for u long as it took me to learn that Anne wasn't going to volunteer anything. I should have suspected she didn't want to become involved in the assassination of my lawn. She didn't want me r e t u r n i n g to her desk, waving a dead daisy in her face and yelling, "Aha! You gave me the wrong information.' " Looking back, I can respect Anne's judgment in not lending her reputation to anything connected with my garden. So I set out on my own: selecting seeds from packets at the grocery store, and t r a v e l i n g downtown to purchase rather expensive plants to be set out. The better part (in length of time, not accomplishment) of a day was spent hoeing rows and pushing seeds into the ground, and digging holes in which to place the then-healthy plants. I'll admit there was great initial s a t i s f a c t i o n a t seeing something blooming in the yard. This delight was shortlived, though, because the power of the yard itself began to take effect. To understand my plight, one has to picture the yard. It is a miniscule patch, untouched by sunlight. Great, wild bushes have joined in unholy matrimony with surrounding trees to form a dark canopy overhead. A rusty, leaning fence long ago erected to form a b o u n d a r y line, threatens to keel over and crush the soil beneath it, probably inflicting tetanus germs. The soil Itself makes the Mojave Desert seem like an oasis. The dirt is loose, sandy and colorless, held together by a vine which has created a complex maze of subterranean patterns. I never know when I will find this vine hiding behind a stone, waiting to reach up and grab a shoelace to trip me. This same vine, in fact, has. encroached upon the house itself, threatening to smother it and forever seal the door. But that's another story, After diligent watering and verbal encouragement to my flowergarden --saying "Grow.damn it!" (Helps, I've found)--the first green shots timidly peeked through. I was elated. My garden was growing. A week later, while the shoots were tender and struggling to survive, I chanced into the yard after dark, only to discover a rabbit, redpawed in the act of consuming the very last item. It wasn't that I begrudged him a little snack, it's simply that I wished he had confined his nibbling to less expensive meals. I understand why he didn't want to eat the grass, and I must say I couldn't blame him. Now I know how Farmer MacGregor felt. That was the beginning of the end. From that time, the blooming plants began to droop, their leaves turning brown and dropping off one by one. Even my pleading on bended knee for them to shape up fell on deaf petals. My garden had lost the will to live. Now all that remains is one plant, still in a pot, which sits on a patio table. And the expensive planter received as a birthday present hasn't done well since a large neighborhood 'dog. crushed the last crimson tuberous begonia beneath his m a s s i v e paw.. I've lecrned a lesson. The only solution is to create a nice, colorful rock garden. The condition of the soil, the total lack of sunlight and the prevalence of dogs heeding the call of nature have combined to execute my plants. It is enough to make Luther Burbank weep. If a spirit ever desired to walk upon the Earth again and needed a place as base of operations, I would issue an invitation to the ghost of Tarzan. He'd feel right at home with all those vines. Perhaps I'll follow Sports Editor Skip Johnson's advice. He suggests I declare the yard a disaster area and apply for federal aid. Welcome Back TO CONTROL AWAY AND NOW FEEL YOU NEED SMOOTH COMFORTABLE FIGURE SHAPING.... IN PANTY HOSE HOLDER OR GARTER STYLE PANTY HOSE REGULAR OR FULL HIP HOLDER 5.00 PANTY HOSE HOLDER Reg. Hip, Aveage.- S-M-L-XL. Tall M-L-XL. PANTY HOSE HOLDER Full Hip. Average and Tall M-L-XL. GARTER PANTY Reg. Hip Average S-M-L-XL. Tall M-L-XL. GARTER PANTY Full Hip Average and Tall M-L-XL. THE MOST COMFORTABLE BRA YOU'VE EVER WORN Wonderful Feeling · It features no bones, seamless bodice for smooth control under I close fitting fashions. Elastic inserts for freedom of movement. · Turned elastic hems eliminates binding .always smooth. Contour I cup in sizes A-34-38; B-34-40, C-34-42. White only 5.00 STATE MAGAZINE, Sept. 10,1972 GARTER STYLE for regular hose IT'S A JUMPER YEAR ... AND PRINCESS PEGGY HAS PRETTIEST! MACHINE WASHABLE Two classic jumpers for fall from Princess Peggy. Both are easy to care for, machine washable and ready to go. Great little gad-a- bouts for town or country. Buy now and save at this very special price. Sizes 10 to 20 and 14!£ to 22 Vi. A. Saddle stitching accents this jumper, featuring the fit n' flare styling. Wear it with a long sleeve turtle neck s w e a t e r . Jumpers in Navy or Brown. S w e a t e r s i z e s 34 to 42. 4.99-5.99 B. This jumper f e a t u r e s a zip front, and patch pockets. Select from Camel or Blue. Wear it with a balloon sleeve shirt in sizes 32 to 38 4.99 B. Stone and Thomas, Charleston, W. Va. 25326 9/10/72 Please send me the Jumpers 1 have checked below. 1 have enclosed 3% W. Va. State Sales Tax. Slyla A. B, 1 1 Name . . . Address . . City . . 1st Color 2nd Color Size Price StntB Charge Q Check Q Money Order H New If New Account Please Include Correct Credit Infor 1 ...Zip ' ' Account Q motion. CHARLESTON, W.VA.

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