Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia on August 10, 1975 · Page 127
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August 10, 1975

Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia · Page 127

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Location:
Charleston, West Virginia
Issue Date:
Sunday, August 10, 1975
Page:
Page 127
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Page 127 article text (OCR)

customer six times. After the ordeal was all over, the barber looked at him and asked, "Haven't 1 shaved you before?" "No," said the 'shavee,' "1 lost my arm in the war." · American tourists were being escorted through a British castle. "This place," the guide said, "is 700 years old. Not a stone has been touched, nothing altered, nothing replaced." "Well," remarked one woman "they must have my- landlord." · And my aunt watched the Godfather on TV. After 10 minutes she realized she was watching a movie. Up to then she thought it was the evening news. · A drunk at a busy intersection stared at the "Walk" sign, and indignantly yelled, "What's a matter, baby? Afraid to pitch to me?" · Two golfers talking: "Does your wife play golf?" "No, but she just can't give it up." · When the father saw his offspring's report card, he said, "Well, one good thing about this. With these horrible grades, I know for sure that you can't possibly be cheating." . FAVOR'HE jokes · . I : t . l9 byjoey Russell EDITOR'S NOTE: Aside from his nightclub act, )oey Russell is Colonel Clown on his 18-year weekly kiddie show on local Connecticut TV. He is a/so a director of the Orange National Bank in Connecticut. Russell has played top clubs and is a popular after-dinner speaker. Here are some of his favorite jokes: · · I, have a neighbor who received a pair of water skis for Christmas. He's been going nutty for the past seven .months looking for a lake with a slope. A teacher asked the class to name some of the benefits of the automotive age. A boy spoke up: "Well, it stopped horse-stealing." · "' My son, who is in college, .observes that colleges and insane asylums are both mental institutions in a way. But a person has to show some improvement to graduate from an asylum. · · The cows were grazing alongside a highway. Suddenly they looked up and there, passing by, was a mammoth tank truck carrying milk, and emblazoned on its side was the sign: "Pasteurized, homogenized, standardized, Vitamin A, C, and D added." One cow turned to the other and said: "Makes you feel sort of inadequate, doesn't it?" · On a job application blank was the question, "Have you ever been arrested?"The applicant put down, "NO." The next question was "WHY"-(meant for those who had been ar, rested). Not realizing this, the applicant put down, "Never been caught." · A one-armed man went into a barbershop for a shave. The barber, in the course of his work, knicked and cut the Amazing $1 Offer 0 Super Great bw-On'fransfers Special Offer for all 10 Top Selling Designs-Enough to dress up your entire wardrobe. Each bright color higMuality vinyl transfer measures a'full W square inches and is made to stand up to washing after washing. This incredible deal may not be repeated this season. So please order early to avoid disappointment. A Regular $5 Value-Yours For Only $1. TAKE ME II mmmmmmmmSmmmummmummmmmmmmmmmmmu AMERICAN VALUE, Dep;. TG 35 466 Lexington Ave.. New York, N.Y. .10017 FOR A FRIEND 1 Please rush me the cbmplets set of 10 full-color, iron-on transfers. I have enclosed: Pi $1.00 plus 35$ postage and handling for one set of 10 iron-on P $2.00 for'two complete sew of iron-on transfers. {20 transfers in all) (We'll pay all postage and handling charges) LIMIT 2 PER PERSON PRINT NAME- _'AGE- ADDRESS. CITY_ STATE. AMERICAN VALUE, Dept. TG-35 466 Lexington Ave., New York. N.Y. 10017 FOR YOU_ Please rusn me the complete set of 10 full-color, iron-on transfers. I have enclosed: _ t . rj $1.00 plus 35£ postage and handling for one set of 10 iron-on n $2.00 for two complete sets of iron-on transfers. (20 transfers in all) (We'll pay all postage end handling charges) LIMIT 2 PER PERSON · PRINT NAME- -AGE. ADDRESS- CITY STATE. ZIP_ · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · · " · · · " · I "

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