Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia on June 27, 1976 · Page 45
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Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia · Page 45

Charleston, West Virginia
Issue Date:
Sunday, June 27, 1976
Page 45
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Page 45 article text (OCR)

14D--June 27, 1976 Sunday Gazelle-Mail Uwlesfon Weil Virginia Open Minds----Husband 4 Good Man,' But Hard to Live With Dear Open Minds: My husband P-- is what other women call a "good" man: he doesn't drink (maybe a dozen times a year) and it's usually just one to be sociable; he doesn't smoke (but I do); he doesn't run around; he spends his paycheck just for the family and is generous with gifts; and his boss thinks a great deal of him. But P-- is someone 1 find hard to live with. Yet I don't want a divorce because the children love him even when he loses his temper. What is he doing to me? I just can't be myself any more when he's around. Truly Puzzled Dear Puzzled: Your letter is vague, but it is evident t h a t you are unhappy. You d e s c r i b e your husband as a man who is nearly perfect. If he is on a pedestal marked "good" where does that leave you? Have you shared these feelings of dissatisfaction with him? He will not know what to change unless you t e l l him what you need. You seei/i lo_ feel stagnant and trapped Perhaps if'you would find out what he feels about you and you together could share your expectations, you could both enter a period of new growth in your relationship. John P. Claude. ACSW Outpaitent Director WVU School of Medicine Dept. of Behavioral Medicine and Psychiatry Charleston Division Charleston. \V. Va. Phone: 343-0850 Dear Puzzled: I look at behavior from the Transactional Analysis viewpoint. With the information in your question, I will formulate a hunch as to what might be happening in your marriage relationship. You describe your husband as being a "good guy." (This could be a ··good girl", if it were the wife). I will define what I mean. A "good guy" is a person who lives as he was taught and who does the proper thing that should be done rather than compute and decide the most appropriate behavior for the occasion. He generally does not take strokes (recognition) from people because he is not aware of e x t e r n a l stimuli. (What is being said or what is happening around him i. I sense that you probably feel frustrated and shut out and then get into not being yourself when he is around. You do not have to make his problem your problem. One person does not change another and one person does not make another feel bad. Recycling Council Needs Truck The Citizens Recycling Council is looking for a pickup truck to use temporarily in its gathering of recyclable materials. Helaine Rotgin, council president, said area residents should make an extra effort to take advantage of the council's service because of the problems with landfills in the county. The council has collection points at 35th Street and Venable Avenue in Charleston, at the Sixth Street Municipal Parking Lot in South Charleston, and behind the police and fire stations in St. Albans. Another site beside the Dunbar Toll Bridge entrance in Dunbar will open later. Mrs. Rotgin said the council's collections now total 2.75 million pounds. Through counseling a person can obtain some awareness of behavior and discover options in dealing with himself. I agree with you that divorce is probably not the answer to your problem at this time. I do not agree with your staying with him "because the children love him even when he's angry." You do not have to go around feeling bad because your husband is a good guy. You do not h^Ve to be the bad guy in order to receive strokes. You can learn new ways to get your needs met. I believe that each person has unlimited potential within himself to learn how not to be hooked into not being ourselves because of the behavior of another. Each of us can experience growth and learn to be the person he chooses to be. Betty S. Pittman Counselor and Provisional Clinical Teaching Member of the International Transactional Analysis Association 1103 Nelson Building Charleston, W.Va. 25301 Phone: 343-4121 //fire a problem and want expert opinn'f Write to Open Minds, 1217 Let- St.. K., Charleston, »". Vu. 25301. This column is n service of the Sunday (·azette-Mail and the Community Mental Health Center if Region ill, which provides mental health care for Huong, Clay, Kunawha, and Putnam counties. II e are unable to answer all letters in this column, llou-ever, a menial health professional from Hegion Ill's staff will reply to all letters, provided the writer includes a stamped, felf-addressed envelope. The opinions expressed are those of the professionals named and in no uny necessarily reflect the opinions of the Sunday Gazette-Mail or the Community Mental Health Center of Region III. The Human Condition Eyebrows Grow Back By Dr. Herbert Luscombe Thomas Jefferson (iniveraity QUESTION: My sister just shaved her eyebrows and has decided she isn't happy with the results. Will they grow back? ANSWER: Usually eyebrows that have been shaved will grow back although it might require a number of months for full regrowth. Eyebrow hairs have periods of growth and resting periods. The growth period is generally about 10 weeks and the resting period up to nine months. So if the brows are shaved it will depend on the stage of the cycle in which each individual hair is at the time of shaving. Those hairs that are cut during during the resting stage may require months till they begin to grow again. Since the eyebrow hairs are individually in various stages of their cycle, regrowth will begin at varying times so that it may be months till all the shaved hairs are at their original lengths. Chronic Bronchitis Common Condition By Marion Wells American Physical r'itness Research Institute Chronic bronchitis is one of our most common chronic respiratory conditions. In New York alone, a recent 10-year period saw the number of deaths related .0 chronic bronchitis go up 200 per cent. Experts say early detection and treatment may halt or even reverse the ailment's progress. This is well worthwhile. Chronic bronchitis has been called " . . . one of this nation's costliest diseases in terms of manpower, money and misery." It's certainly not a waste of breath to tell your doctor about such symptoms as persistent or recurring cough, shortness of breath, wheezing, chest pain or tightness or abnormal mucus discharge. Authorities warn that if chronic bronchitis is allowed to reach an advanced stage before we seek medical attention, significant injury to lung tissue may have occurred and we may be susceptible to serious lung or heart difficulties. Atmospheric air pollution and exposure to respiratory irritants on the job may contribute to or aggravate chronic bronchitis. Add cigarette smoking to other sources of irritation and you may compound the risks. Minimize or avoid exposure to noxious gases, chemical fumes, dust and aerosol sprays. Do so around the house as well as on the job. If necessary, discuss with your doctor the advisability of suitable air purification devices for home or office use. * * * IF YOU ALREADY have chronic bronchitis, the following measures may help you "breathe easier." ABC's of Health 1. Stop smoking. Banning the butt " . . . is almost always followed by a lessening of the symptoms." noted Stanton Belink o f f . M.D. It's been warned t h a t other treatment measures may bring relatively l i t t l e improvement if you c o n t i n u e to smoke. 2. Drink plenty of fluids (water, juices, soups) and don't let the air get too dry. especially at night. This will help keep mucus secretions liquid enough to be coughed up more easily. 3. Obesity or abdominal distention from prolonged constipation, too heavy a meal or gas may aggravate respiratory dis- tress. Your doctor may suggest passing up foods which give you gas and cutting down nr cutting out carbonated drinks and greasy, fatty fried foods. 4. WITH YOUR DOCTOR'S approval, "Mild regular exercise, short of producing undue fatigue, is benefitial and should be encouraged." 5. Get sufficient rest and eat a well balanced, nutritious diet to help keep over-all health and resistance high. Be sure you're getting ample amounts of all essential nutrients. One physician has noted t h a t "Experimental work has been done '.vhich suggests that vitamin A. vitamin E and vitamin C are particularly important in protecting the respiratory tract from damage by some chemicals in the air." 6. The Merck M a n u a l cautions that "Prompt treatment of acute infections is of first importance." Follow the procedures your doctor recommends. An ounce of prevention may stop chronic bronchitis from taking your breath away! STOP BY AND REGISTER Entry Deadline July 9th, 2 p.m. STOP BY AND REGISTER Entry Deadline July 9th, 2 p.m. FEDEWLSWINGS LOAN ASSOCIATION 191 Summers St. Charleston, W.Va. 25301 ,. 345-8250 D Enclosed is a check for S5 (or more). Please open 5 V r Regular Pass hook Account. D Enclosed is a check for?100 (or more). Please open 5' i ' r Golden Harvest Passbook Account (90 dav notice required for withdraw- all'. NAME ADDRESS CITY . STATE D Enclosed is a check for S1000 (or morel. Please send 6 ' ·.·''· Certifi- caieof Deposit ( 1-2 Years!. D Enclosed is a check for $1000 (or more). Please send 6 ' i r ( Certificate of Deposit . (30-48 mos.) IP . 0 Enclosed is a check for $1000 or more). Please send "'.·'» Certificate of Deposit (-1-5 vears). DEncloscdisacheckforSlOOOIor . more). Please send 7 ' . ' , Certifi- cateof Deposit (6-8 years). EQUAL HOUSING LENDER ' ---.Jlili! FSLIC N j'i

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