Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia on June 9, 1974 · Page 182
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Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia · Page 182

Charleston, West Virginia
Issue Date:
Sunday, June 9, 1974
Page 182
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Page 182 article text (OCR)

StarCrest pantyhose are elegantly sheer and promise you the best fit AND longest wear you've ever enjoyed. You must be 100% satisfied, or StarCrest will send you a Bank of America refund check for every penny you paid! No strings attached. OFFER EXPIRES JUNE 24, 1974 Compare prices of these national brands to StarCrest prices: Burlington Hanes STARCREST Style L'eggs Ballet Beauty Mist Styles 101,201 Brief Parity Style All Nude Style $1.39 $1.49 $1.00 $1.00 $1.69 $1.69 59*** 590*' 00 per pair in lots of 3 You must be 100% satisfied with StarCrest pantyhose. If not, return them within 15 days for a full refund. Order today! TWO MOST POPULAR STYLES Style 101 -- Sheer with brief parity, nude heel, demi toe Style 201 -- All sheer, all nude, toe to waist THREE SIZES FOR PERFECT FIT SM-Small ME-Medium LO-Long 4'KT-5'2" 90-120lbs. 5'3"-5'6" 110-140lbs. 57"-5'10" 130-160lbs. Available in the above sizes only. If your weight exceeds that shown for height order the next larger size. SIX GLAMOROUS SHADES TO CHOOSE FROM: · SU-Sunglow (Pale Beige) · CB-Coffee Bean (Deep Brown) · RH-Rhapsody (Warm Beige) · NB-Navy Blue (True Navy) · SP-Spice (Lively Cinnamon) · BM-Black Magic (Off Black) Detach Order Form Here -- COMPLETE AND MAIL TODAY! S , /"« , - _ f . _ . 3159 REOHILL AVE.. I3f\jr§t g Gag/onya'" COSTA MESA. CALIF. 92626p Q021AS n Miss To Avoid Delay -- Print Clearly 000156 D Mrs. First Name Middle Initial Last Name Address City State 7ip YOU MAY MIX STYLES, SIZES AND SHADES °AI r pryiPF^ 3 Pairs 6 Pairs 12 Pairs $1.77 $3.48 $6.84 **%iia*nr*i- \if\t *r\ ru iru"*t i A or* Calif, n bee* STYLE NO. SIZE CODE SHADE CODE HOW MANY PAIRS Postage Handling 2sidents add 6% sales tax Total amount enclosed OR to arged to my bank credit card TOTAL PRICE $ $ .25 $ $ MY BANK CREDIT CARD NUMKR IS Check One: BankAmericard D Master Charge 1 INTERBANK NO. EXP. DATE MO. YEAR Sign Your Name as it appears on your Bank Credit Card G-123 * 1974 StarCrest Products of California. Inc. No portion can be reproduced without our written permission. My FAVOR|T£ jokes by Al p EDITOR'S NOTE: "/ started out in show business as an operatic baritone. Some people sing for pleasure, 1 sing for revenge! One night when I was singing for the Metropolitan Opera, the conductor came back stage and / asked him, "What did you think of 'my execution?" He said, "I'm in favor of it, with a voice like that you belong with the immortals!" "Actually I did three operas, I Pagli- acci, Cavalleria Rusticana, Madam Butterfly--when she was a cocoon. But, it was when I did a radio broadcast as the featured singer on a show starring Tallulah Bankhead, that my career began to change. She noticed my flair for comedy, advised me to combine comedy and song, and gave me the billing "The Pagliacci of Comedy." Al Perry's played in clubs across the country, and he's appeared on the Griffin, Carson, and Douglas TV shows. While he's worked in numerous small nightclubs, he prefers one-n/ghters (convention and hotel dates) because, as he explains, "The last time I worked a small club a guy shouted, 'Hey, you, I'll bet you $50 you're dead.' You know I was afraid to bet him." When he's not doing comedy Perry's favorite pastime is golf, so here are some stories about golf--and marriage: It was the beginning of a beautiful spring weekend, so the wife decided she would lay down the law. "Listen," she told her husband at breakfast, "don't think you're going to run off and play golf, and leave me here with all this work!" "Golf is the furthest thing from my mind," the husband protested, "and will you please pass the putter." · « A golfer was positioning his ball just before teeing off on the first hole. Suddenly, from out of the country club, a gorgeously gowned bride came running up to him. The golfer waved her away. "Doris," he said, "I told you specifically, only if it rains!" · A golfer teed off and accidentally hit a bystander on the head. Enraged, the bystander yelled, "I am going to sue you for $5000." The golfer replied, "I said fore." The bystander answered, "Okay, I'll take it." · Two friends were playing golf. One of them strode to the first tee, pulled back his club, closed his eyes, and swung with all his might. The ball hooked off to the side, ricocheted off several trees, and took a fantastic bounce onto the green and into the cup for a hole-in-one. His companion turned and frowned, "Paul, you sneak," he said icily. "You've been practicing." · Two dedicated golfers were talking in the locker room. First golfer: "Did you hear Harry killed his wife?" Second golfer: "In how many strokes?" · First golfer: "We didn't enjoy our game much Sunday, poor Jack collapsed with a heart attack soon after we started." Second golfer: "And you had to get him back to the clubhouse." First golfer: "Yes, and a hell of a job it was putting him down and picking him up after every shot." · Marriage is a great thing, but the basic foundation of marriage is love, and love is the poker game of life. It starts with a pair, she gets a flush, shows diamonds, and it ends up with a full house. Before marriage he talks and she listens. After the honeymoon she talks and he listens, later on they both talk and the neighbors listen. · Husbands and wives are like fishermen. They brag about the ones that got away and complain about the ones they caught. · A woman to her husband: "Darling it's our 10th anniversary. Let's celebrate with a lobster dinner." He says, "Oh, honey, why kill a poor lobster for something that happened 10 years ago." · "Darling," I said to my wife, "I have tickets for the theater." She said, "Oh, thafs wonderful, I'll start dressing at once." I said, "Yes, please do, honey, the tickets are for tomorrow night."

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