Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia on June 6, 1976 · Page 171
Get access to this page with a Free Trial
Click to view larger version
June 6, 1976

Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia · Page 171

Publication:
Location:
Charleston, West Virginia
Issue Date:
Sunday, June 6, 1976
Page:
Page 171
Cancel
Start Free Trial

Page 171 article text (OCR)

My FAVORITE jokes by wicksy MARVIN EDITOR'S NOTE: Mickey Marvin's responses to things have sometimes caused him a bit of trouble. For instance, while waiting for a break in show business, he once had a job in a hamburger joint. He says: "They had a suggestion contest with cash prizes. So one week I suggested they put meat in the hamburgers. I received $200 for my suggestion--severance pay." When his career picked up, Mickey decided to expand his horizons and acquire culture. "I went to New York's Museum of Modern Art. I looked at three paintings, and right away I felt like an art critic. I pointed at one wall and proudly said to a guy next to me: 'It looks like one of those weirdo abstracts.' He said: 'No, that's a mirror.'" Marvin has appeared in top clubs, including the Fontainebleau, Miami Beach; the El San Juan, Puerto Rico; the Rochester (N.Y.) Dinner Theater, and the Nanuet (N.Y.) Theater-Co-Round. Here are some of his favorite stories: I have a friend who owns an Italian restaurant. I told him: "Your veal parmi- giana is better than any I had in Italy." He said, "Of course it's better. Over there they use domestic cheese. Here we use imported!" · When I go to the dentist I double- park. It gives me something to keep my mind off the pain. · A drunk walked up to me and he said, "What time is it?" I said, "It's '11 o'clock." He said, "I must be going crazy. All day long I keep getting different answers." · I was in Switzerland recently, and it has a lot in common with California. They both build houses on hillsides, but in Switzerland they stay there. I'm great at golf. The other day I missed a hole-in-one by four strokes. · I think when my son grows up he's going to be a waiter, because when I call him he never comes. · Two wild geese were getting ready to fly south. One said to the other, "Why do we have to follow that idiot leader ail the time?" The second goose said, "What can we do? He has the map." · Supermarkets are a world unto themselves. Some people you see there really dress funny. I saw this lady with her hair up in those big curlers--instead of a steak she picked up a TV station. The other day there was a four-cart accident. A lady had a baby in a shopping cart, she stopped short and three carts with racing stripes ran into her. The baby started to yell, "Whiplash!" · I was on a cruise recently. They gave me a great room. I had a porthole with an oar. · All this talk about the high cost of living is ridiculous. My brother just built a five-room, split-level house, and all il cost him was $5000. He drew the plans himself, worked night and day--and he stole the lumber. · I like to eat doughnuts in restaurants. Ifs the only food I can eat and look through to see if anybody's stealing my coat. · I learned that racehorses don't eat the day before a race; I don't eat for days after I bet on them. M. YAUK "The doctor isn't in right now. Would you care to leave your symptoms and diagnosis?" SOME COMMEMORATIVE MEDALS ARE WORTH THEIR WEIGHT IN GOLD. OURS IS WORTH EVEN MORE. Our medal--the official Bicentennial medal of the Sons of the Revolution - is struck in solid .999 platinum. Platinum -called the 'king' of precious metals--is scarcer and more costly than gold. It retains its gleaming brilliance year after year. Medallic issues in platinum are seldom offered, which makes this medal of particular interest to collectors. Offered ai cosi ol platinum alone. As a special one-time offer to pro- mole platinum, this medal is being sold at the cost of the platinum it contains, based on the current producer price ol $155 per ounce. It is available in three sixes: Vi oz, (1" diam.), I oz. (IVi" diarn.), and 3 o/.. (2" diam.). Limited edition. The medal will be double-struck from hand polished dies by the prestigious Medallic Art Company (producer of the Congressional Medal of Honor, the Pulit- /.er Prize Medal and six of the last seven Official Presidential Inaugural Medals). This is a strictly limited edition--with the 3 oz. medal limited to KKK), the I )/.. medal limited to 2500 and the V4 o/.. medal limited to )(),(KM). The medal will not be reissued. Official medal. This is the official Bicentennial medal of the Sons of the Revolution. The obverse features a portrait of George Washington after the C. C. Wright Inde- |x.'iidencc Medal based on the famous Houdon bust. The reverse, from Hintcr- meister's classic painting, depicts Washington bidding farewell to his officers at I'Yaunces Tavern in New York. The Sons of the Revolution in the State of New York own FYaunccs Tavern, and have maintained it as a museum since 190'1. Investment potential. We believe this medal offers outstanding investment potential. Because of the extreme scarcity of platinum medallic issues, and the historical significance ami classic beauty ofils design, il should enjoy considerable demand among current and future (ollecloi's. In addition, ihe medal represents an investment in solid p l a t i n u m -- a commodity which America's largest investment house is currently recommending toils clients. No dealer orders will be accepted. The medal comes in an elegant, vclvci- linedjcwelersca.se. Allow30 tofiOdays for delivery. Offer may be withdrawn any time. SOLID PLATINUM. A SOLID INVESTMENT. Platinum Sales, Inc., c/o Medallic Art Company Old Ridgebury Road, Danbury, Connecticut 06810 Charge card customers may order by telephone. Call toll free 800-2-13-9906. In Connecticut, call collect (203) 792-3000. Please enter my order for The Official Bicentennial Medal(s) of The Sons of the Revolution struck in pure .999 platinum. % oz. medal(s) (1" diam.) @ $77.50 $ . __ 1 oz. medal(s) (VA" diam.)@ $155 $_ 3 oz. medal(s) (2" diam.) @ $465 $ TOTAL $_ Enclosed is my check or money order, payable to Platinum Sales, Inc., for $ as payment in full, or charge my purchase as indicated below: D American Express D BnnkAmericard D Diners Club D Master Charge Interbank No. Number: Expiration date Signature (not valid unless signed) - Namf Address City _Statc_ .HP. Satisfaction guaranteed, full refund if requested for any reason. Add sales tax where applicable. 17

Get full access with a Free Trial

Start Free Trial

What members have found on this page