Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia on July 23, 1972 · Page 79
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Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia · Page 79

Charleston, West Virginia
Issue Date:
Sunday, July 23, 1972
Page 79
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3G--July 23, 1972 Sunday Gazette-Mail -Charleston, W«t Vjrjlnii By Marilyn Goldstein 1972Newsdav In the roaring '20s, Bertrand Russell wondered whether premarital cohabitation-aJso popularly known as shacking up or living together-would keep college students' minds on their work instead of on wild prohibition era parties He suspected that it would In the Sexual '70s, Miriam Berger wonders whether premarital cohabitation is a way to stem the soaring divorce . rate. She suspects that it is. Mrs. Berger, a psychiatric social worker and therapist has begun to test that premise by studying couples who have lived together and then have ·married each other. The .couples receive both a sub- j e c t i v e a n d o b j e c t i v e questionnaire to fill out The results of her tests will be compared with nationwide findings for conventional marriages. Although Mrs. Berger admits to pro-trial marriage bias, she is not sure whether the results will bear her out. Mrs. Berger, who has been .married for 21 years without h a v i n g p r e - m a r i t a l l y cohabited--but who hopes her two daughters will-said that between 25 and 33 per cent of marriages nationwide end in divorce and that 60 per cent of California marriages break up. "If they had the opportuni- , ty to have trial marriages, m a y b e t h e n u m b e r ( o f divorces) would be reduced," she said. "And if people are WE PAY MAXIMUM RATES ALLOWABLE ON SAVINGS · Regular Savings 4'/j% · Cily Savings 5% Now-- NOCHAXGEK3P CHICKING ACCOUNT SERVICE! City National Bank Merits of Premartial Cohabitation Studied 4000 MocCortl* Ave., S. t., Choi OPEN SATURDAY 9 'ill 12 OPEN f R I D A Y S 9 A.M. 'Ill 7 P.M. going to end the 'marriage' it would be better to do it before the children come, rather than after." Trial marriages, which could or could not have a legal basis, would suppose that the couples would not have children, although one couple she has interviewed are both divorced, have children and want to cohabit before taking the step a second time. Mrs. Berger thinks that after a year or two of trial marriage couples should know whether they can make a go of it before actually marrying. She said that some students of human behavior are not sure that a trial marriage really reflects the problems of a conventional marriage. She' said, "Can trial marriage really be a valid test? The trial marriages could work out fine but once they (the couples) take the fina'l step something happens." Mrs. Berger said that some opponents of the theory believe that "people are oh their best behavior in a trial marriage but others think the opposite, that after marriage they are on their best behavior." This may be because once the knot is tied the couples feel, they have more at stake. She said there also are objections from the far left and far right. "From the left they say marriage shouldn't be a legal thing. (This is supposing that the trial marriage becomes a legal venture instead of simply an i n f o r m a l l i v i n g together). They say let's get the state out of it altogether." But they see some advantages in legalizing premarital cohabitation. "It would then be sanctioned by society and therefore accepted by more people and the couple can get tax and insurance benefits." L e g a l i z i n g p r e m a r i t a l cohabitation would also eliminate, the danger "that the boss might find out." The complaint from the right is that anything other than con- v e n t i o n a l m a r r i a g e i s blasphemous. When Mrs. Berger began w o n d e r i n g how e f f e c t i v e living together could be. she said, she found little had been written on the subject. The only study she found was on a tribe of Peruvian Indians who practiced trial marriage. It P H Y L L I S B A I L K Y O'NEILL--OWNER FLOWERS FOR ALL OCCASIONS WEDDINGS featuring the Latest in Wedding Equipment DAILY DELIVERY TO CHARLESTON AND SURROUNDING AREAS AND TO «U FimiBAL HOMES AND HOSPITALS III THE KANAWHA VALLET OPEN 8 AM to 4:30 PM MONDAY THRU FRIDAY SATURDAY 9 AM TO 12 NOON CLOSED ON SUNDAY BAILEY'S 984-3336 POCflTALICO BAILEY'S 755-3482 POCA.W.VA. worked for them, but Mrs. Berger emphasized that our culture was not comparable. She said the first attempt to legalize trial marriage in America was made in the '20s by Judge Ben B. Lindsay and picked up by Bertrand Russell. Their proposal got nowhere. "Margaret Mead gets the main credit for repopularizing it," Mrs Berger said. She cited Dr. Mead's 1966 proposal of a two- step marriage--the .first a trial type, but legal, with limited economic responsibility, easy dissolution and no children; the second a conventional marriage. Vance Packard, in his 1968 b o o k , "The S e x u a l Wilderness," recommended a two-year confirmation period before a marriage would become final. And therapist Virginia Satir recommended that marriages be based on a five-year renewable contract. Other ideas on marriage variants are beginning to pop up with great frequency. Even without being legalized, Mrs. Berger said, living together is more socially a c c e p t a b l e a m o n g American young people. "They have been influenced by Robert H. Rummer (who wrote "The Harrad Ex- Ju?ie, August Top Months NEW YORK - Today's brides may get married on the beach or in the woods, with c e r e m o n i e s they w r i t e themselves, but they still pick the same month (June or August; and age (19). So says a recent report by Seventeen Magazine, which reveals that 19 is the most popular age for first brides (15.8 per cent), 18 comes second (14.8 per cent), and nearly three out of five (58 per cent) are 20 years old and under. The report on the young bridal market, based on data from the U.S. Department of H e a l t h , E d u c a t i o n a n d Welfare, also shows: June, as always, is the favorite time for a trip to the altar, with August a close second.. The two months account for almost one-quarter of all weddings, just as they have for the past 10 years. January is the least favored marriage month, accounting for only 5.5 per cent. More than 3.9 million girls under 20 are expected to take the big step during the next five years. Nearly 770,000 will marry this year, increasing to 802.000 in 1976. The median age of all first brides is 20.6 years, almost a full year lower than in 1951 (21.4 years). There's no place like home for first brides; nearly 90 per cent get married in their home state. ,\ .\ THINK ECONOMY MARRIAGE-MEANS BEING BUDGET MINDED WHEN BUYING A CAR AND/OR A SECOND CAR. Vega Up To 25 Miles Per Gallon. Whitewall Tires, Radio With Rear Seat Speaker, Wheel Discs, Door Edge Guards, Undercoating And Disc Brakes. $ 100 TAG GALYEAN CHEVROLET Corner Of Broad Wash. St. E. Phone 3444776 periment." a novel about premarital cohabitation). They see living together as a p o s i t i v e t h i n g , n o t a s something to be ashamed of." But whether this system will deter bad marriages, she has yet to prove. A SAMPLE: Jane and Barry have been living together for more than two years. They met when they were both university students. She was 18, he was almost 20. Jane said, "We were too young to get married so we lived together." Although living together has gone well, the couple is still not considering marriage. Jane does not believe that a good cohabitation necessarily means a good marriage. Is living together a dress rehearsal for marriage? "No, it's not the same play," she said. "The big difference would not be internal but societal," Jane said, (jane asked that the couple's real names not be used for fear of embarrassing her parents.) "The roles you have in marriage you can avoid to a certain extent in living together. A single woman has a little more freedom.than a wife." Jane feels if she · were legally a Mrs., society would pressure her into playing the wife-and' mother homemaker role to her husband's breadwinner role. That, she is not prepared to accept. Jane also thinks the fact that one can separate more easily from an informal living arrangement than from a marriage makes getting along easier. "I can always pack my bags and lots of times (when a "gry at the other partner) .that dissipates the anger." In a real marriage, she said, knowing divorce is the only out, knowing the relationship is supposed to be permanent, may create enough pressure psychologically to cause friction. The one thing Jane said she fears most is divorce. "Divorce in this society is seen as failure. It's very heavy. That's the main thing about living together. If you split up it's not a failure." SERVING THE AREA SINCE 1942 EDWARD S. RADA JR. MGR. "OUR BEST US APPEAR ON OUR CUSTOMERS TABLES" WEDDING BIRTHDAY CAKES OUR SPECIALTY · CRUSTED BREAD · FANCY COOKIES · QUALITY PASTRIES · CHOCOLATE ECLAIRS CITY WIDE DELIVERY OF WEDDING CAKES OPIN TUES. TMKU SAT. TILL 6:3O P. M. OPIN SUNDAY TILL 1 :00 P. M. CLOSER MONDAY 342-1232 1224WASHINSTON ST. E. ACROSS FROM CHARLESTON HIGH SCHOOL Treat yourself to queen size bedding value A FURNITURE COMPANY When purchasing bedding, invest in the best. This famous name firm support mattress and box spring are designed to give you years of healthful, comfortable sleep. ! /2 Price Sale on 350 Items Our orders for furniture have been placed, and many shipments will be coming in August. To make room, we are selling every piece of furniture at the lowest prices of two years. Many upholstered pieces at Vi price. PRICE REDUCED Look at these Clearance Values on RCA Television: 23" Table Model. Was 529.95 449. 25"XL-100. Console w/doors. Medit. Was 750. . 650. 20" Early American. Was 469.95 399. 25" Table Model w/stand. Was 589.95 '. . 489. 25" XL-100 Early Amer. Was 725 599. 25" Mediterranean. Dark Oak. Was 725 629. 25" Mediterranean. Pecan. Was 725 629. 25" XL-100 Early American. Was 675 575. 19" with remote. Was 469.95 409. 18" Table Model. Was 359.95 329. 19" Solid State. Was 499 425. .., and several more. But all will be sold by July 29! ... also lowest prices on stereos RCA Quality Units at Clearance Prices! Mediterranean. Pecan w/8-track. Was 299.95 .. 259. Early American w/8-1rack. Was 299.95 269. Mediterranean. Pecan 200-watt. Was 629.95 ... 579. OUT THEY GO! they're reduced in price and have circuitry featuring Solid State in many areas. New models displayed! in August... all current units must go most brilliant values of the season lamps 25%:, 50% OFF Consider these values at Cedar Grove: Deena and Philmar lamps at V2 price. Westwood at 40% off. Stiffel at 14 off. All lamps on sale! All Furniture Reduced! Over 30 bedroom and dining room suites on sale. Outdoor pieces cut drastically. Recliners. Chairs. Sofas. All furniture reduced at least I 20%, but prices restored after July 29. 4S Compare our Prices on Black/White-- 1 2" AC or DC (or Cig. lighter ) Was 1 39.95 , 22" Early American. Was 269.95 18" Portable. Was 139.95 12" Portable. Was 99.95 9" w/clock, AM/FM Radio, Was 150. .. 15"w/Remote Control. Was 149. . 127. 229. 127. 87. 129. 134. fabulous selection in decorator favorite Tables specially priced , V3 an SALE ENDS ON July 29 , OPEN THURSDAY | .* FRIDAY NIGHTS Cedar Grove, W. Va. 1949-3103 595-1111 442-4532 Turn Right ·! «i»n, entrance ' . 4.|«M highway llmtfettttt «t Rtirtt tO Hammary, Mersmann, Gordon, [Jroyhill--all famous brands of cocktail, bunching, occasional, end and commode tables, Drive to Cedar Grove to select and buy your bargains. - · «H^^^^BMH Ask about our F R E E Decorator Service FURNITURE COMPANY I FREEDelivtry Bonk Financing Factory Scnrkt

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