Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia on July 23, 1972 · Page 64
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July 23, 1972

Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia · Page 64

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Charleston, West Virginia
Issue Date:
Sunday, July 23, 1972
Page:
Page 64
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4F--July 23, 1972 Sunday Gasette-Mail ·Charleston, W«»t Viralnii-- SupplemcM taI Relalionsh ip Does Marriage Need Third Party By D« Wedemeyer The Associated Prm NEW YORK-AP-The real · revolution in marriage styles will come from the middle aged and the elderly, says an author who claims *e has .observed polygamy and marriages with third party "satellites" quietly making inroads among the middle class. Dr. Robert T. Francoeur, a professor of experimental embryology at Fairleigh Dickinson University and author of "Utopian Motherhood" said he became aware of the new marriage trends as he traveled during the past five years to some 300 colleges to lecture. "Always you have to be met at the airport by someone," said Francoeur, who has put his observations into a new book titled. "Eve's New Rib." "Within five minutes, they start telling me about a friend of theirs who..." Franceour explained that a "satellite" is a third person .involved in a regular two- party marriage. It differs from an old-fashioned affair because the spouse knows about the relationship and accepts it.. He said it is unrealistic for people to think that one spouse can provide all a person needs, and that the wife or husband ought to just look on the " s a t e l l i t e " as a · supplemental relationship. T h e o r i g i n a l m a r r i a g e remains primary at all times. The example Francoeur gave is a nurse who has a* happy marriage but her husband isn't interested in m e d i c i n e . She has a professional and personal relationship with someone at work. He suggested that the big changes in marriage were less likely to come from the young because those who leaned toward experimentation were trying communal life for a year or two, then coming out and entering monogamous marriages. "Most married people have to go through a period of about Beauty Takes Planning And Relaxation Is Must How can a bride be most beautiful. How can she main-' tain that look not only at the wedding but afterwards. Kenneth says "an exacting plan of beauty care in a relaxed mood, will help achieve the desired results." There is no other time in a woman's life, as when preparing for her wedding, that she can pamper herself as much. Kenneth's ideas on pampering are as follows: Be sure to plan your day .of beauty for a day or two before the wedding and see that the time is relaxing. Treat yourself to some special beauty services that will add to your especially well groomed look on this most important day. Try a massage to relax and calm ... a facial to bring your complexion to a perfect glow ... a special oil or creme manicure for soft, pretty hands . . . and a wonderful pedicure so you'll dance comfortably at your wedding. These beauty cares too, will insure a care-free time on your honeymoon, especially if you plan to be traveling or at a resort. Bridesmaids Bodyguards? The tradition of having bridesmaids in the wedding party has an interesting background, considering the girls were used as protection against the fair maid's being carried off by a. conquering mate. In the days of marriage by capture, the bride-to-be coyly pretended to struggle against impending marital fate and militant attendants were set to guard her. The impressive cortege of bridesmaids one sees in modern weddings is a survival of t h a t g u a r d i a n t r o o p , engaged in a play-pretend plot to keep the bride and her bridegroom apart until they meet at the altar. Some say that bridesmaids originated in the Roman custom of s e c u r i n g ten witnesses for the ceremony, most frequently friends of the bride. The tradition has carried over through the ages as brides enlist the aid of their, girl friends to help keep up the pretty farce. NOW, WHAT about your hair. He feels that this is not a time for a drastic change in 'your hairdo. Especially for your wedding photographs, be sure and have your hair looking its prettiest, but very natural as well. You don't want to appear to be someone else. Be yourself, but make sure that self is as prettily coiffed as possible. Make sure your hair appointment is set early with just 'that special stylist you want. Be sure your haircut is as perfect as it can be as this will insure your hair looking well in the days that follow. Above all, your wedding hairdo should not be uncomfortable or strange to you.. It is important that you have not only the most becoming style, but one that you can care for yourself and. that you will be able to manage if hairdressing services are not available during your honeymoon. After all, we don't want your new husband to see you in rollers every night. To keep setting at a minimum Kenneth's bridal hairdos are classically simple and take their shape from a precise exacting cut. They are versatile too, and easily manageable with this bit of setting advice which takes only an hour. To repair and refresh a hairdo, Kenneth says, "the best way to achieve results is to wind your hair on rollers DRY. Never wet your hair to reset. A dry set keeps the line and you can easily rebrush the style, having added new bounce to your hair." IT IS also a good idea to pack some pretty scarves and headbands to protect your hair and keep it looking neat and attractive. You might consider too, adding a simple hairpiece to your wardrobe for pretty evening coiffures. Another important before- wedding plan is permanents, s t r a i g h t e n i n g a n d h a i r coloring. If you know you will need a permanent, don't wait till the day before the wedding to have one. This should be d o n e a week or two beforehand so that your hair will be most natural and will need only to be done the day before. The same is true of straightening. If you are going to be in a warm climate this is especially important, and this process should be done a week before so that your pre- wedding set will be as effective as possible. When considering your hair color, again, don't change radically before the big day. Plan any change a month or two in advance so you will know how it affects your hair and how manageable it will be". If you do color your hair, have it done as soon before the wedding as possible so the color will last while you away from home. What about makeup? He says " d o n ' t o v e r - a p p l y m a k e u p ! " A p p l y y o u r cosmetics slowly and carefully keeping a natural radiant look. You might dramatize your eyes so they shine through your veil, but do this with great care and precision to avoid a theatrical look. Be sure your makeup blends into the shoulder line of your dress and doesn't stop at your chin. A sharp demarcation line shows up even more so in white. Most important, be sure to look at yourself in a full length mirror. This is the only way. to see the proper proportion of makeup," hair and body line and to achieve i the most beautiful head-to-toe look that you will want on this special day. five to seven years of exclusive possession, the love story stage, before they can open up to o t h e r possibilities," he said. "If they don't grow out of the possessive stage, I'm afraid it ends in divorce...! maintain the 30-40-50-age group is going to be the revolutionary one..." Francoeur said that i n f o r m a l polygamy was already in practice among the elderly who had banded together quite naturally to pool their pensions and provide companionship in an age bracket where the male- female ratio is low. Among the other marriage and family styles he men-, tioned was unisex or homosexual marriages; celibate marriages; the trial or two step m a r r i a g e s ; g r o u p marriages; contractual marriages, and four-party marriages. He said that in some respects many couples who have another couple as best friends already have a four- party relationship. All that is missing is sexual intimacy, which until now was not spoken of. Francoeur, 41, claims a somewhat unique marriage situation himself. Ordained as a Catholic priest in 1958, he petitioned the Vatican for permission to marry in 1965. He c l a i m s t h a t t h r o u g h a technical error he was never notified that he had been returned to laity status and that as a result, he sometimes performs priestly duties, though he has a wife and two children. He declined to say what category his own marriage falls into because he said-if he had a new style marriage people would say he was justifying his own position; if/he didn't, they would say he didn't practice what he preached. "I think we have an open marriage," he said simply. 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