Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia on July 6, 1975 · Page 66
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Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia · Page 66

Charleston, West Virginia
Issue Date:
Sunday, July 6, 1975
Page 66
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Page 66 article text (OCR)

Famous Fables B E. t. EXTRA: Babe Ruth was at the crest of his career during the madcap Prohibition era. No one enjoyed a high time more than he, recalls 'Jumping Joe' Dugan, his teammate and drinking companion, in "Babe Ruth: His Life and Legend", by Kal Wagenheim. "He had" a bootlegger in every town. He would call the fellow the minute we checked into the hotel. ·Babe here. Send up a case of scotch, case o' rye and fill the bathtub up with beer.' "One time in Chicago, he calls up and says, 'Charley there'.' " 'No,' says the guy on the other end, 'but I'll" take your order. What is it?' " 'You know what it is. Rye, scotch, beer, have it up here right after the game.' "Then he asks, 'What's with Charley?' "The" guy answers. 'He's got a case of amnesia.' " 'He has?' says Ruth. 'Well, send that case along, too!' " LMPRESS10N: When Metro- Goidwyn-Mayer made its debut as a major studio, under the leadership of Marcus Loew, it named Howard Dietz as its director of advertising and publicity, at a salary of 1350 a week. Dietz needed an assistant and he offered the job to Pete Smith, be recalls in "Dancing in the Dark". "Smith said he would work for me for 9500 a week. As I was being paid only $550, the situation was embarrassing. But 1 hired him anyway. "I had to get a raise. I decided to ask for it when Loew invited me for a weekend to his Long Island es tate. On Sunday morning, be took me for a walk through the grounds and greenhouses. I amazed him with my knowledge of the rares flowers! He told me I was an exceptional young man to know botany as well as publicity. "Several days later, the head gardener asked Mr. Loew: ' l 'Who was that fellow in the conservatory Saturday night reading plant labels with a flashlight?' "I got the raise anyway." BLUSTER: Shortly before the Italian invasion of Ethiopia, Anthony .,. Eden, then British Foreign Secretary, paid a call on Benito Mussolini in Rome. II Duce, assuming his most intimidating pose, with his chest inflated and his chin protruding, pointed to a row of buttons on his desk. "You see these buttons?" he said. "I press this one and three hundred warships steam into action. I press this one and five thousand bombers take to the air. I press this one and ten thousand cannon are readied for fire." Eden was unawed. "And which do you press, Excellency," he politely inquired, "when you want an aspirin?" TRANSPORT: William Randolph Hearst collected his art treasures on an epic scale. Once, in Spain, he bought an entire monastery for $40,000 - for him, an insignificant sum. But it represented only the initial outlay, as he planned to dismantle the structure and ship it to New York, stone by stone. The expense that this entailed was more in the Hearst tradition. The job of crating required enormous quantities of wood, so he put up a sawmill. To get the orates to the nearest railroad, he needed a connecting line -- so he put up twenty miles of track. Cost of sawmill and track -- a half-million dollars, It took a number of years and 25,000 crates, each packed with straw, to transport the monastery to New York. There, customs officials lowered the boom. The straw, they discovered, was a disease carrier. Each of the crates had to be reopened and repacked. Finally the task was done. After so many years and so much expense, Hearst had his treasured possession on his native soil. The next step was typical. He put the crates into storage and never looked at their contents again. PROSPERITY: As soon as he began to earn big money, cowboy movie star Tom Mix went on a spending spree. The first thing he did was to buy several luxury class automobiles. Then he hired a chauffeur and outfitted him with seven custom-made uniforms, one for each day of the week. Mix gave thought to ordering seven different uniforms, but he didn't want people to think he was ostentatious, so he settled for identical outfits. Then it occurred to him that this might give the impression that his chauffeur had only one uniform, and he didn't want people to think that, either. He finally resolved the delemma by having each uniform embroidered with the name of a different day of the week. ILLNESS One afternoon, when umpire Bill Klem was working behind the plate, he called a batter out on strikes. The player turned around and registered what appeared to be a mild protest. For several moments, the two^ discussed the call in subdued tones' unmarred by angry outburst. Then, without apparent reason, Klem's- thumb went up and he banished the player from the game. The manager came racing out of the dugout. "Why did you throw him out?" I wanted to know. "Was he threatening you or using vile language?" "No, it was nothing like that." Klem assured him. "He wasn't feeling well, that's all. So I told him to go to the clubhouse to rest." "What are you talking about? He looks okay to me." "Not so," explained the game's foremost arbiter. "I distinctly heard him say, 'Klem, Tm sick of your decisions.'" CHARLESTON.,

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