Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia on May 12, 1974 · Page 173
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May 12, 1974

Sunday Gazette-Mail from Charleston, West Virginia · Page 173

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Location:
Charleston, West Virginia
Issue Date:
Sunday, May 12, 1974
Page:
Page 173
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Page 173 article text (OCR)

Graft only Giant grab bag of over 100 unassorted foreign stamps! Africa, Asia. Europe, South Seas. etc. You will also receive the most wonderful «»%inr of. stamp offers in America. This offer made to gather new names for our stamp mail- i nit list. Just send name, address, zip and 10^ to: LITTLETON STAMP co., Dept. o-is Littleton, New Hampshire 05661 5 foreign coins, 100 We'll send you,forlCW,seldom seen coins of Spain, Finland, Sierra Leone, Turkey and Cwchoslo- vakia. Pius a colorful foreign banknote. Just tc Bet your name for our mailing list. We'll include our free catalog of coins, paper money, collector's supplies. Send 10*. name, address, lip to: LITTLETON COIN CO., Dept. atk-Xo Littleton, New Hampshire 03561 In the time it takes tp read this,ora-jelcan start relieving a toothache. EarWax? If impacted it may impair hearing. I Soften for removal with [ DeWrtftOILforEARUSE OIL for EAR USE OFF THAT LONE TV. Dontbe fucish. OFFICE OF ENEtGY CONSEWTION OF THE FEDERAL ENE*OY OFFICE A Public Service of This Newspoper The Advertising Council byLoNdoNLee EDITOR'S NOTE: Using himself as an example, London Lee has "dramatized", the acute and Inescapable problems of rich men's sons everywhere. For instance: "I went to my father and said, "Buy me what the poor kids have got.' My mother yelled up, 'Buy him a slum/ and my father said, 'All right, as long as its in a nice neighborhood/ " London has appeared at night spots across the country, including the Deauville and Eden'Roc in Miami Beach; Palumbo's, Philadelphia; The Latin Casino, Camden, A/./.; Sands Hotel, Las Vegas. Today, says London, the content of his comedy has changed, chiefly because "I don't take any money from my father--/ take it from my mother ... Actually I've found that money can- not buy friends. You have to do what I do. Rent them!" London's been on the major TV talk shows and has acted in the movies. Here are some of his poor rich boy jokes and family stories: A lot of American families have to be given credit. They can't get along without it. · Adam had it made. If'he told a joke, no one could say "I heard that one before." · An American tourist gazing into the crater of a Creek volcano had only this comment: "It looks like hell"; to which his guide replied, "Oh, you Americans, you've been everywhere." "I love these Irish bars with sawdust on the floor." "Sawdust my eye" said the bartender, "that's yesterday's furniture/' · · Sign in window: "Be mistaken for an ·American tourist--wear Italian-made clothes." · I said to my mother-in-law, "Make like this is your home"--so she sold it. · I know a guy who's so rich he bought a new yacht because the old one got wet. · Automation could never replace my brother-in-law. There's still no machine that does absolutely nothing. · ' . Show me a man who can eat, drink and be merry and I'll show you a fat, grinning drunk. · I like that suit you're wearing. Who shines it for you? · My father said, "I want my kid to have what I riever had." So he sent me to summer camp so I could have what .he never had--poison ivy. · The nurse told my mother, "You have an eight-pound bundle of joy." My father said, "Thank goodness the laundry came back." · My nurse was an alcoholic. She used to hide her booze in my baby bottle. I was 10 years old before I could walk straight. · I have all weird doctors. I have a doctor if you need an operation and can't afford it, he'll touch up the X-rays. · · I went to see my psychiatrist. He told me to go to the window and stick out my tongue. I said, "What does that have to do with my problem?" · He said, "Nothing, but there's a guy across the street and I hate his guts." · A friend of mine loved crossword puzzles. When he died his last request was to be buried 6 down and 3 across. its TO Uuqh I. MONAHAN L. LARIAR 'Will you stop worrying about urban renewal!" "Obviously, Myrna- you talk too much/ J. SERRANO "The sitter went home, she said money isn't everything."

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