The Gazette from Montreal, Quebec, Canada • 29

3 Today's stars hide some cinematic skeletons Early stinkers include Kevin Costner's 1974 classic, Sizzle Beach, U.S.A. THF GAZETTE, MONTREAL. FRIDAY, MAY 3, 1991 4 ul Blake Edwards flick Blind Dale an alleged comedy? And could that be actrcss-with-an-attitude but not much acting method Kim Basinger, playing Brucie's blind date who can't handle alcohol and gets real stupid-silly? I'm afraid it could. Tom Cruise: Before hobnobbing with Rain Man Hoffman and making millions in Days of Thunder. Tom the hunk needed the money and took a role in Endless Love, a soporific piece of teen trash also starring the wondrous Brooke Shields.

(And it was endless.) Robin Williams: Not all the spinach in the world could salvage Robin's cartoon-like peformancc as the title sailorman in Robert Altman's abysmal Popeye 8 I mi VMS Kevin Costner is the current flavor of the month in Tinseltown. By all accounts, he's a fine human in a town where there are few. And he has a social conscience, too, as Dances With Wolves demonstrates. Costner is now reaping the rewards of glory, and will soon be rich beyond his wildest dreams. Next, we'll see him in a pair of tights in Robin Hood: Prince of Thieves, due this summer.

Far be it from me to rain on Kevin's parade, but it should be pointed out that this hunk has a past. Back in 1 974, just starting out, he made a movie called Sizzle Beach, U.S.A. It wasn't released until 1986, about the time Kevin began to make big waves with The Untouchables. Special kind of bad For reasons that are painfully obvious to anybody who can find it at a video store, this beach-bimbo dud does not figure prominently on Costner's resumed Sizzle Beach, U.S.A is a special kind of bad. Also starring Leslie Brander and the Nicholsons (Lulu and Blaine, in case you're wondering) this pic is a Troma production.

Aficionados of the atrocious will recognize that name; Troma produced C-classics like Fat Guy Goes Nutzoid, Surf Nazis Must Die, Class of Nuke Em High and my personal fave Rabid Grannies. It should be noted that all of the above are infinitely superior to Sizzle Beach, U.S.A, which is the sort of movie that gives California an even worse name. Costner plays a hayseed stablehand in Hollywood. In lieu of plot, this film features a bunch of well-endowed bimbos who spend most of the movie doing stretching exercises, in bed and on the beach, exposing both their assets in the process. One of these women, Dit (Brander), a dim-witted actress who is being exploited by unscrupulous Cali-fornians sporting cheap jewelry, takes a shine to John Logan (Costner).

The two get physical by a fireplace. Suffice it to say, Costner is not proud of his movie debut. But you gotta start somewhere. And indeed, Costner is far from being the only Hollywood b'g shot who made an inauspicious movie 1 4 ins (1980). Jane Fonda: If you want to get a reaction out of Hanoi Jane, just utter the words "Barbarella.

space bimbo." And this 1968 sci-fi fantasy, by her ex-hubby Roger Va-dim, was her 20th film. Among earlier offerings that she also doesn't brag about were Joy House (1964) or The Love Cage as it is also called and La Ronde (1964), more Vadim voyeurism. Dustin Hoffman: What wouldn't Dusty give to have someone destroy the negative of his debut movie Madigan's Millions (1967), a caper about a stunned U.S. Treasury agent (Hoffman) sent to Italy to retrieve millions of greenbacks. Decidedly ungood.

But we have a happy ending to GAZETTE. DAVE SiDAWAY Many abysmal films, like Blind Date, are out on video. BILL BROWN8TEIN debut. You want some really checkered pasts'? Check out this list of priors on some of our more prominent actors: Sylvester Stallone: Before Rocky and Rambo, Stallone starred in the memorable A Parly at Kilty and Stud's (1970), also known as no kidding The Italian Stallion. Your basic party-animal grope picture.

Sly doesn't talk much about it these days. AI Pacino: Before The Godfather there was Me Natalie (1968), a hokey tale about a homely teen who finds herself metaphysically speaking in Greenwich Village. Also starring noted thesp Patty Duke. Even Meryl Streep goofed Meryl Streep: Before the accents on the big screen, Streep sold her soul to TV, making her debut in the hockey drama The Deadliest Season (1977), in which she's sweet on a high-sticking defenceman. Jack Nicholson: Wild-eyed Jack wouldn't want to be reminded about his debut in Cry Baby Killer (1958).

Not because it was a Roger Corman quickie, but because he plays a killer who weeps when he murders. Before finding respectability, Nicholson also did a bunch of B-flicks including such gems as Back Door to Hell, The Wild Rise and Ride the Whirlwind but at least he didn't cry in those. Bruce Willis Was it only four years ago that this Hollywood heavyweight was featured in the gosh-aw- 4 Jane Fonda As Barbarella I- it 4 our story: Arnold Schwarzenegger: Before striking it exceptionally rich in movies of dubious merit, the Austro-A-merican muscleman was cast to advantage in his debut flick. Stay Hungry 1 976). about the body-building industry in the southern U.S.

This is a pretty good movie, actually. And Arnie hardly fractures the English language at all. We knew them when: young hunks Cruise, Nicholson. 3p Dutoit's Hayd Symphonies rAL 10-PLEX OPENS MAY 24TH! PHASE 2 OF THE NEW CEN1 should work iceiy on disc Hi yT "YOUR BELLY WILL ACHE It EL, -Ij WITH LAUGHTER." I 13 us I Guv HaUo. COSMOPOLITAN tuaatuaJklda 1 flfVSOWrOO-TflO 15 LATE SHOW 11:30 ARTHUR KAPTAINIS GAZETTE MUSIC CRITIC C1Nhl 1 MERYL STREEP Ls-J I 5 ALBERT BROOKS I Academy Award Winner IttrfT ITCDDV Beat Actreaa Kathv Bates Playing Haydn on modern instru 7G6 a Ste CATHERINE 98S-5730 i L1 Jlfj 10 LATE SHOW Still 30 RICHARD GRIECO WLOOKS COULD Defending YoURLlFEf; Nightly 30 Sat Sun 12' 55-7 ments these days is a practice that demands some explanation.

In two weeks Charles Dutoit will go farther and record the three Symphonies he performed last night at Notre Dame Basilica with the Sinfonietta de Montreal, as the Montreal Sym-rjhonv Orchestra's half-size off Wtxt Thur 35-4 55-fr 35 5-05-7-15-930 rontly71(W Sat Sun 10-9 20 1 ROBERT DE NIRO jjGJ -QrjpOLJYSTTnEO. Nlghtty 7:2020 Sat Sun 3 40-5 LATE SHOW Sat 11:20 1215-2 3M 50.7-1535 Guilty BySuspicion, rQhV Sat Sun "SI LATE SHOW Sat 11:15 also playing In French GREEN CARTi-) at the Cinema St-Bssile 35-2-5M05-7: 1030 Academy Award Winner Ok Sinfonietta de Montreal conducted by Charlet Dutoit at Notre Dame Basilica, last night. Repeal tonight. Haydn: Symphonies No. 85, 86, 87.

Just the same, Dutoit made a good job of underlining the individual qualities that did arise nicely juxtaposing, for example, the quaint, antique Adagio and dashing Allegro that together make the opening movement of the Symphony No. 86. In the first movement of No. 87 the conductor rightly perceived that rhythm and crescendo, rather than melody and harmony, were the dominant storytelling devices. The finales of this work and of the Symphony No.

85 were blazes of virtuoso exuberance. Fresh from a tour of duty abroad, Dutoit was in his most stylish podium form, now flashing the killer profile while gesticulating vigorously, now dropping his baton and coaxing with winks and nudges. Exposed flute and oboe solos were fine, but at points I wanted to hear the other winds and (in No. 86) the timpani speak more clearly from the rear. This balance difficulty, of course, is endemic to the puf-fily grandiose basilica.

Decca microphones and the superb acoustics of the Church of St. Eustache will make the probbm go away. LATE SHOW Sat 1145 Beat actor Jeremy Irona. Ji5 spring is known. The resulting disc should not provoke too much scholarly indignation.

It is true that the MSO players did not create the gamey sound of period bands, and the tone of the violins in some interludes was suspiciously beautiful. But nimble articulation and detailed phrasing gave the music energy, litheness and wit qualities much valued but by no means guaranteed by authentic practitioners. In short, it was a compromise that did not sound like one. If the program had an intrinsic problem it was the selection of the leiiMi, I LATE SHOW Sat 11:35 7crvtrvi i COLUMBIA Montry 7:0020 Sat Sun 12 20-2 30 4 45-7 00-9-20 14. major-key Symphonies No.

85, 86 and 87. Haydn at this point in his career had refined but also consolidated his style, and the differences between the works are not really sufficiently marked for consecutive performance. Nor, at 75 minutes, did the evening represent especially good value. WW i 'ii 11- Tf --r--irr TrnrriviiiiiiWif 1 "TWO 1 i i THUMBS UP! 'Oscar' is a Stallone's a knockout comic actor. Relax and enjoy the belfylauqhs.1 IRRESISTIBLE." mm fijif.itw Poflitcafeq: B09y LATE SHOW Sat 12:00 Nightly Sat Sun Nightly Sat Sun t- in, i A llOOLBV STEBEOl- iSte -AdplPlnrTSStavaTtatnT, 'i SWBOUL TASCHtRLAU i u.i' mohin Nightly 8:00 Sat NlghHy Sat Sun 12-15-2 30 Nightly Sat Sun LATE SHOW Sat 11 50 i SYIVISHG SlALlONt All the shades of friendship.

including betrayal and revenge. He's Not Exactly What Your Daddy Has in Mind ZlAHDMfSS DMlhtn gl; .9 Vuuaimk Picture 0 12: LATE 1 M5 FIOI ntvH 5 IlMt MAGAZINE fcchafl Cwu CFC5R925 CFCF6O0 fl STUDIO THREE FILM CORPORATION. FILM MICHAEL B. LONDON "RICHGIRL'WJILISCHOELEN DON MICHAEL PAUL RON KARABATSOS SEAN KANAN WILLIE DIXONja PAUL GLEASON asm! ROBERT ELLIOT iMLlVlElSAACKS scoWJAYCHATTAWAY WSS RICHARD MANN awARLENEMATZA HERBLINSEY JBm MARK HOFFMAN and STEVEN H. PARKER MICHAEL B.

LONDON JOEL BENDER far tjzvg- 3Ka uSgggg 12 15-2 30-4 50-7 15-9 35 LATE SHOW Sit 11:50 Nightly Sat Sun 4 Nightly I St Sun 25 1 1 1 1 ml nniDOLBY STEnedL. Hill Nightly 8:10 Sat Nightly 7: S1 Sun 5 30 Nightly 7: 15-9 30 St Sun Vn96 Sit CATHtHINt 36b 6W1J Nightly jrjjoQLBY STtREOl LiA'llllllHTaU'llI 12 40-2 55-5 00-7 OS btB CAiHLHIHt also playing in French at tt taton Centra. Versajlles, Laval, Rex (St-Jerome), Imperial (Joliefte T.fl Omega (Longueuil) Le Pans (St-Hyaanthe) St Basile Sat Sun LATE SHOW Sat 11:15 5.