University Life from Wichita, Kansas • 5

UNIVERSITY LIFE FRESHMAN ADVICH (I CLUB SELLS PAPERS Shaksword's Column YOU ARE ALWAYS WELCOME AT 1015 WEST DOUGLAS SOPHOMORE NUMBEU We want you to make yourselves at home right away. If you threw paper on the floor and gum behind the radiators at home, why, do it here. If you wore a cap in the house, why, go ahead, wear one in all your class room. If you put your feet on the table at home why do it here. Go as far as you like, we want you to feel at home.

"Local smashup! Read about it! Wuxtry!" So shouted several inexperienced newsboys on Douglas last Wednesday afternoon. A lone bootblack, with his box of brushes, paraded up and down the street at the same time. Along came a husky looking chap wealing a Friends sweater. The newsboys shouted more loudly; the bootblack shined his shoes free. No was a Club member and they were pledges getting initiated, according to custom and tradition.

The final initiation was held Friday night. Ihe soph told his parents that he made the Meadowlark Course in ninety-eight. Now his parents are telling the neighbors that their son made an A in biology. Dry Cleaning Kansas Independent Laundry Co. 302-14 N.

Emporia Avenue Launderers and Dry Cleaners DUKE McCAFFREY, Agent THE SOPH'S LETTER PROVERB Men who are all cheek are rarely men of brain. Nature can't support too much in one establishment. DEPENDABLE SERVICE Mkt. 195 UPON RECEIVING A LETTER Mkt. 653 if The girl's rather pale lip was caught between her teeth, as she took the letter from the mail box.

Her slim fingers shook slightly as she un- Dear Mater: This epistle has been somewhat de-ltiycd becnrse of the initiation which I underwent last week. Those rufl'ians have a perverted sense of humor; they told me to clean up a section of gutter. I spoke back and said, "Do you think you can make a fool of me?" The ringleader said: "No, some one else has beat us to it." So I cleaned the gutter. If it is convenient you might request the pater to send me a five dollar William by return mail. Affectionately, YOUR SON.

THE FISHERMAN He riseth up early in the morning and disturbeth the whole household. Mighty are his preparations. He goeth forth full of hope. When the day is far spent, he re-turneth, smelling of strong drink, and the truth is not in him. Morris.

FOR QUALITY AND SERVICE THE FEEM1ESS LAUMBEY see-RAYMOND ORME I sealed the flap, and drew out the con-j tents. A glad cry escaped her lips as a white oblong fluttered to the floor, and her eyes lost their worried i look as they saw the figure on the OUR FUIENDS REPRESENTATIVE We Use Soft Water 243 N. Market Mkt. 5880 3S81 check which she picked up, her tall body bending down with a swift although willowy grace. Relieved, she ran her fingers qu'ckly through her hair, fluffing, it out until the dark curls made an attractive frame for her slim, narrow face, which was slightly freckled.

She puckered her lips to whistle a soft, happy note. Her check from home hr.d arrived at last. E' Senior (to a Frosh, whose little cap coined to be about three shades brighter than the other) "How old are you?" Frosh: "Twenty-eight." Senior: "Twenty-eight? How do you get that way?" Frosh: "I've had the seven-year itch four times and according to my teacher four times seven makes twenty-eight." COMPROMISE I stood the florist shop before (And I was very hungry). And pondered dl her beauty o'er: How she was fair, How she was rare (And I was very hungry.) A bunch of posies cost one bone (And I was very hungry.) And that was all that I did own. But she was sweet And she was neat (And I was very hungry.) I spent my last upon that bunch (Though I was very hungry) ivSsia WffluntJS18 WANTED 300 or 400 students to work for a good cause.

BEAT BETHEL SATURDAY We still heed a few more men of iron constitution to run the Prof. Wallace (assigning stories in journalism class): "Does anyone know of any accidents that have happened or will happen? 1'And went up to her place for lunch For she could shake See Ployd Lacy If Getting Your Clothes Cleaned and Pressed Agent For AMERICAN LAUNDRY 2002 Mentor A wicked steak (And I was very hungry!) Exchange. Practice 3:30 Daily Report at Gym Prof. What is a rectangle? Frosh A wrecked angle? I don't believe I know, sir. It used to was So fat she wasn't, But now she is She daily doesn't.

Exchange. I'll say Harold's lazy. Why he pretends that he's broken his arm so that his roommates will dress him every morning." Senior: "I want a good strong rat trap, and make it snappy for I want to catch a train." Frosh Clerk: "Sorry, sir, but our rat traps are not strong enough for that." Keep that school-girl complexion by sending your coat to the Hookem Laundry. We do not clean the lapels. Adv.

MidCbntinenl Enravin Co. Makers of Hih Grade Prinlini Plate! EJSES Station to Station (SAULS In Placing Your Long Distance Calls 124 S. Market St. Market 2088 I1' lllh WICHITA We talked to the editor today. The editor said he used to think that seeing was believing and we said wasn't it, and he said no and we said prove it and he said well, for instance, I see you every day and we wonder what he meant.

The Sophs would have us believe that the Freshmen have a monopoly on dumbness. It was a Sophomore, however, who got his car stuck in the ditch on Mentor avenue last week. fir Rf JjaajA pi W. E. Larson George Decker pulled a bone in labor problems last week.

"Women are taking men's places in clerical work, now," he said, "in the places that don't require any brains, at least." Hush, little Sophomores, Don't be bold, You're only Freshmen Two years old. Ex. As the clock struck eleven the Freshman started to leave, but she said, "Don't go yet, Bob. How long have you loved me?" "For darn near two hours and my arm is getting tired-. FRIENDS A "STATION-TO-STATION" Call is one on which you will talk to Any One at the Telephone Number called PHOTOGRAPHER Mr.

Middleton, in orchestration class, Monday, September 21 "Has the second bell rung?" Pauline (Polly) Schaeffer "I hope it never does." if Station to Station Calls Cost Less Father-WIhat time is it? Why, son, where did you get that watch. The one I gave you had a gold case; that one is silver. Stude Yes, it's the same watch but circumstances alter cases. 108 West Douglas WANTED 300 or 400 students to work for a good cause. BEAT BETHEL SATURDAY Schweiter Phone Market 4868 LIFE INSURANCE AND ANNUITIES JOHN-HENRY -J ONES Special Agent Bidg.

EQUITABLE LIFE ASSURANCE SOCIETY OF THE U. S. INSURANCE IN FORCE OVER $4,000,000,000 OF NEW YORK ASSETS OVER $725,000,000.