The Daily Journal from Flat River, Missouri • 26

I Tt TW Dily St. Frmctjii CTidij, Sfeabt 17 I Advice Columnists Cfi Mae who 6eeed his space woe9t make room for kids By Denisc Wright YOU'RE IN MY SPACE No. 2" should accept his kids as be accepts her. If you print this, please use my name; I nope my father sees it CHRISTOPHER M. OTT, HARLEYS VTT I PA.

DEAR ABBY Your column about pets being left in hot cars reminded me of a steamy day last summer. My car was low on gas, so 'I pulled into a self-serve station that had no other customers at the time. As I filled my tank with gas, an attendant came over to admonish me for not having lowered the car's windows for my dog's comfort I tried to explain that the air conditioner had been left, on, and that for the few minutes it would take to fill the tank with gas, the dog would be much more comfortable with the windows up. Unconvinced, the attendant said, "A dog can die with the windows up, you know." Agreeing with the message, if not the circumstances, I smiled, nodded and drove off in my still-cool car. But I was a bit bemused that the attendant showed absolutely no concern for my two CHILDREN who were also in the car with my dog.

LP. IN ages in their lives, and being ignored by their father because he "needs more time to himself is clearly child abuse. When people ask why the kids aren't around, "Almost No. 2" and her boyfriend should tell the truth: "We want them around only when we have nothing else better to do." That's the message he's sending out to his kids. If his children are too much of a responsibility, he should have kept his pants on.

These two deserve each other. MOM WHO LOVES TO BE WITH HER SON DEAR ABBY: "Indefensible" is the word! The next time people ask why Matt, "Father of the Year," doesn't see his own children, they should be told be simply doesn't give a damn. And when they ask "Almost No. 2" how she could defend him, she should tell them because she's still "Almost" After she actually becomes "No. 2" and Matt gives her the "I need my space" story, I'll be looking for a letter in your column signed "WHAT WAS I THINKING?" or, perhaps, simply, "DUH." CLIFFORD WILLIAMS, MAIDEN, MASS.

DEAR ABBY: What a wonderful couple these two make! She's insensitive, while he is simply a cad. My brother and I (both now in Betty was a hugger. Any conversation with her began wiih a two-armed squeeze and included at least one more embrace. Unfortunately, her embraces didn't include intimacy with soap and water, so one often came away from an affectionate encounter with Betty with a tess-than-desirable reminder of her body odor. Once she hugged me in such a way that her armpit covered my shoulder.

After this armpit assault, I kept my bead turned in the opposite direction for several minutes in an attempt to catch my breath. When I saw her coming first, an' extended hand also bought me a reprieve from full-body contact I consider myself a friendly, tolerant person, but I prefer an imaginary comfort zone, my own space, around me. I've also reached the age when my eyes focus better on something at arm's length, and anyone standing closer than that causes me to strain my head backward to look at their face. Family members and close friends automatically get hugs, but otherwise I am less physical Some of us are huggers, some are more reserved. Obviously, there are circumstances that permit hugs: greeting long-absent friends, consoling the bereaved or frightened, demonstrating genuine affection.

Teenage boys and young men also shrink from full-fledged hugs from the opposite sex, at least in public. A person's size doesn't necessarily indicate whether he is a potential space-invader. At six-foot-five, Darwin looks like an aggressive person. A non-hugger like me cringes inwardly when approached by someone of Darwin's size. Surprisingly, Darwin's smile and a gentle handshake are his trademark greeting.

On the other hand, Chester barely tops five-two, but be steps right up to converse, almost toe-to-toe, and when approaching a group already holding a conversation, Chester nearly elbows his way in, in his enthusiasm to join the circle. Most huggers indiscriminately embrace everyone they meet Non-huggers never do. Middle-of-the-roaders watch for a sign that a hug is welcome, or give a signal themselves whether one is acceptable. Children are powerless to ward off huggers, or their less threatening counterparts, head patters. Woe unto the poor little one if the hugger is also a kisser and a cheek pincher.

Mrs. Crawford exhibits the perfect greetingfarewell for the children in her room. She gently touches their shoulder or the top of their head, and smiles. Wait till she meets Betty. our 20s) were fortunate to have an understanding stepmother who realized that our relationship with our father shouldn't change regardless of the marital status between our parents.

Our father continues to spend a lot of time with us. We are now professional, responsible adults who were fortunate to receive all the love and support both parents could give. I hate to think that Matt's kids will never get that support from their father. Child support is not an expression of love it's an obligation and believe me, those kids are intelligent enough to know the difference. THANKFUL IN CAPE CORAL, FLA.

DEAR ABBY: As I read that letter I could literally feel my blood pressure rising. I wanted to reach out and strangle "Almost No. 2." This is a personal issue to me, Abby. The day before my sixth birthday, my father left my mother for another woman. I missed having a male role model I missed having a father's hug when I needed it (and I did need it to this day I have never hugged another man).

I missed having a father there to congratulate me and praise me during those special times in my life when I accomplished something. My father tried to reconcile when I was older, but it wasn't the same. We no longer talk yet I still love him. The only way I followed in his footsteps was to become a volunteer firefighter like he had been. Children, regardless of age or gender, need their father.

"Almost DEAR ABBY: In ail the 33 years I have read your column, nothing has appalled me like the letter from the live-in who described herself as "Almost No. IT She said, "He left his wife and two kids because the responsibility gave him no time for himself." What idiocy! What kind of woman would want a man who shows no responsibility for his own children, but expects him to parent HER kids? These people are sick, sick, sick! You were much too easy on them with your answer. Stand tough, Abby. MARY EGAN IN DALLAS DEAR MARY: I advised the woman not to try to defend her position, which was indefensible. I do not flog those who write to me, even when I disapprove of their actions.

Mine is an advice column not a whipping post Believe me, my readers got the message. The letters are still flying in. Read on: DEAR ABBY: I have never been as angry as I was after I read the letter signed "Almost No. 2." She said, "Nine- and 16-year-olds don't need a lot of attention." These are critical MliMUIN VlfcJU, L-ALlr. For Abby's favorite family recipes, send a long, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money Are creatine supplements harmful? order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Cookbooklet No.

1, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, 111. 61054-0447. (Postage is included.) DR. GOTT Hwy 21 S.

Arcadia 546-6223 PETER GOTT, M.D. Delivery A variable! dition, you need a blood calcium level and a urine calcium level. After he has examined you and obtained results from the tests I mentioned, the urologist should be able to diagnose the condition and suggest therapy. In the meantime, increase your fluid intake to at least six 8-ounce glasses of water a day to flush out your system. Let me know what the urologist concludes.

DEAR READER: Good question. Traditionally, the second opinion although definitive usually involves only minor alterations from the first. Also, it's customarily the referring doctor who is seeking advice (that he should follow) from a specialist more knowledgeable than he. In the situation you describe, a third opinion is in order. The primary rule is: The patient should not be placed in the middle.

It's up to the doctors to reach a working Truckioad Sale Oct 1st on 20 Range Cubes (Order Deadline Sept. 22nd) .40 Bag adults with healthy teeth and gums, annual dental X-rays are a waste of money and constitute unnecessary exposure to radiation that could easily be avoided. I don't have an axe to grind with dentists, most of whom are conscientious and honest practitioners. But there is a definite conflict of interest here. Perhaps, like pre-op chest X-rays, the whole concept of "routine" needs re-examination and revision.

DEAR DR. GOTT? I have osteoporosis but am afraid to take estrogen because of 'the risk "of breast cancer. Also, I've tried several other drugs, such as Fosomax, but cannot tolerate them. Is there any drug on the horizon that might help me? DEAR READER: Raloxifene is a brand-new medication that is being tested on human volunteers. It may be the "miracle" pill that postmenopausal women have been wishing for.

It acts like a hormone (to retard the loss of calcium from bone) but has few, if any, side effects, according to early studies. Specifically, the drug is not associated with increased risks of uterine or breast cancers, as is the case with other hormones. Authorities predict that Raloxifene should be approved for general use within the next year. Neither I nor any other practicing physician has had any experience with the medicine, so I cannot provide any endorsement; however, judging from preliminary reports in the media, the drug may truly revolutionize the treatment of osteoporosis. As more information becomes available, I'll keep my readers posted.

DEAR DR. GOTT: A second opinion is often recommended in difficult cases. What does one do if this opinion differs drastically from the first? Which advice should be followed? consensus, then present, to the patient Thus, a third or even fourth opinion may be necessary to relieve the log jam. Nonetheless, some patients keep searching for an opinion that matches their own. This is not necessarily good medicine.

Rather, it's more appropriate to seek an intellectual majority. But, again, it is up to the doctors to thrash out a recommendation, present it to the patient with its pros and cons, and support the patient in whichever path he or she eventually chooses. DEAR DR. GOTT: At 69, 1 have a problem that is driving me crazy and my doctor cannot find an answer. Sometimes I am unable to urinate.

However, eventually, after much straining, I pass milky-white urine that contains chunks of material resembling cottage cheese. Then I have relief only to experience the problem again in a few days. DEAR READER: The color of your urine (and the nature of the material you are passing) suggests calcium. In particular, you could have bladder stones or sludge. For unknown reasons, the calcium that is normally in your urine is precipitating in a sense, crystallizing the way freezing water behaves on the surface of a pond.

You should see a urologist In ad- liiifiiifiili I Itm la Cffifl ffisSit fet By Peter H. Gott, M.D. DEAR DR. GOTT: I am a successful college athlete who uses creatine monohydrate to improve performance. Is there any danger in this practice? DEAR READER: You are one of an estimated 13 percent of collegiate athletes who use creatine, a muscle extractive, to improve strength and energy.

You may be surprised to learn that there is ample scientific evidence supporting the contention that creatine has an ergogenic (muscle-enhancing) potential Oral doses of about 20 grams a day (for less than a month) have many beneficial effects on muscle, leading to improvement in high-intensity work, stamina and anaerobic exercise. Be advised, however, that creatine supplements can cause severe muscle cramping in some athletes. DEAR DR. GOTT: In a recent column, you advised readers to refuse annual dental X-rays in order to avoid unnecessary exposure to radiation. Don't you think that the dentists should be involved in this decision? DEAR READER: Yes and no.

I agree with you that any testing should be the result of intense cooperation between the patient and his physician or dentist Certainly, if dental disease is present annual X-rays of the teeth are appropriate. However, so-called routine testing be it X-ray exams or blood tests needs to be re-evaluated periodically; otherwise, the testing becomes merely an automated adjunct to the periodic examination. For example, chest X-rays used to be "routine" for all patients before surgery. For decades, this was accepted medical practice, carried out without question. However, such testing was shown, a few years ago, to be completely unnecessary: It was a "sacred cow" that cost a lot of money (nationwide) and was of little benefit.

Consequently, physicians changed their orientation and now order pre-op chest X-rays only if there is a specific reason to do so, such as shortness of breath or the presence of a lung disease. To some degree, dental X-rays have similarly taken on (he trappings of rubric: Everyone does it, so it must be correct Furthermore, most dentists take their own X-rays, so there is a huge financial incentive to continue the practice. Therefore, on this issue, I'll stand my ground. Dentists can certainly be part of the decision process but they should have to justify the practice of having routine dental X-rays done more frequently than every two or three years. For normal Is an increasing percentage of your monthly income going to pay off debts? Are you only able to make the minimum payments on your revolving credit cards? If you lost your job, would you be in immediate financial difficulty? Is your savings cushion inadequate or nonexistent? Are you using credit cards for items you used to buy with cash? Are you at or nearing the limit on your credit cards? Are you unsure about how much you owe? BUILDINGS, TRUSSES, CUSTOM HOMES -5 "X'-i, I Your Ideas Our Engineered Plans It's the House We'll Build Together VIDEOS AVAILABLE If you answered yes to two or more of these questions, you may be in financial trouble.

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