Daily News from New York, New York • 50

Sens III sensiti torn- QMy husband has two kids from his previous marriage. I don't mind his ex-wtfa calling our home to discuss matters concerning their children, but she calls late at night. I And this to be disrespectful. Should I be mora understanding? Natalie When you marry a partner who is ilready a father, you take on a much broader family dynamic than just I If I I if ri. uic biuiuidt.

ii a iintAji tain icii yuu worn our ine logistics ror now your husband's ex-wife so that everybody leeis respected, nave a neari-io-neari with your husband. Acknowledge what a good father he is and praise his attentiveness to his children. Let him know that sometimes it's tough for you to feel comfortable with his relationship with his ex-wife. Although you know she will always be in your life hmb ma' mv mnru snr RtiKfsnra -infS r. Tito t.r,' i 1 I 111 Sill to because of the children, for the good of your marriage, he needs to define some boundaries for their regular interaction.

Ask him to establish ground rules with her and set time limits for their discussions. By NELSON MUI rhen you work in it mi wardrobe, some Work out an agreement about how he will manage the situation so your life together will be honored. Be patient. It Costumer Melina Root often raids her own closet for 'That '80s Show5 nil times the worst pos sible outfits are the most appealing. That's why 51" will take time to fall into a rhythm.

QThe other day I saw one of my neighbors taking the newspaper of another neighbor on my floor In my apartment building, didn't think anything of it until I saw that my thieving neighbor has continued taking the other guy's paper. I feel that I should say something, but to .1 1 1.J I 4.11 US' "gutwacker," a fitness machine. He desperately wants to look young and hip, and he sports oversized, colorful blazers and T-shirts, just like Don Johnson in "Miami Vice." To dress her characters, Root consulted vintage fashion magazines and VH1 classic videos, and she also pored over merchandising catalogues and college and high school yearbooks. This she was able to repli- cate what "real" people' wore. A stickler for authenticity, she tried hard to stay "period." "I won't do acid wash, because that came much later than 1984," she said.

She even goes so far as to point out fashion discrepancies to the producers. "At one point, the script mentions Firenze sweaters and MM Root, the costume designer for "That '80s Show the Fox sitcom that premiered last night (8 o'clock), can't get enough leggings and Day-Glo socks. "I try to bring some things you don't like about the '80s: heavy black eyeliner, big shoulder pads and way too many accessories," said Root, who is based in Los Angeles. "There were such horrible proportions then," she adds. "Too much texture and fabric, too much layering, bad makeup and hair." Root is the Emmy Award-winning costume designer for "That '70s Show" and the now-defunct "3rd Rock From Is being pilfered, or talk to the one doing the pilfering? A Since you are on the outside looking in, you don't actually know i why your neighbor is taking your other neighbor's paper.

So, adopt the aa approach of honest inquiry. Speak to the "pilfering" neighbor and tell him you have noticed that he has been collecting the other person's paper. Ask if he has made an arrangement with him when he's out of town or if he's taking the paper for some other reason. Tell the neighbor who isn't always receiving his paper that you have seen the other fellow taking it and wanted to make sure that this was agreed upon. When you speak to each person, be clear that you are not trying to be nosy.

Instead, you are speaking up the way you believe a concerned neighbor should. Be careful not to gossip. Once you've done your duty, leave it alone. Harrietts Cole Is the author of "How to Be," an etiquette guide. Send your questions to her at askharrletteaol.com.

stirrup pants, and those hadn't hit the scene yet." Root found many pieces double-wrap belts, drop-waist-ed dresses, slouchy boots, Members Only jackets, lace pantyhose and Day-Glo accessories in thrift stores. Most higher-priced "vintage" stores do not stock '80s pieces yet, she reports. Two exceptions are Meow in Long Beach and Resurrection in New York. Root often rents pieces from costume rental agencies, or has them specially made (she ordered T-shirts decorated with puff-paint). Old enough to remember the Reagan years, Root also raided her own wardrobe.

"I found an old Dorothee Bis drop-waist dress in a printed cotton that will make its way onto Katie," says Root. While designers from Marc Jacobs to Daryl K. to Karl Lagerfeld have been plundering the '80s for inspiration, Root refuses to use new versions of old styles. "They're not authentic," she says. "Even bangles were skinnier in the '80s." "I find it takes more time to work on "That '80s Show' than 'That '70s she adds.

"It's certainly a decade where you need a lot of stuff." the Sun." Her getups on "That '70s Show" are so eyecatching that viewers regularly E-mail the show to find out where to purchase them. "That '80s Show show follows the adventures of a group of twentysomethings in San Diego in 1984. As you might expect, the clothes celebrate certain over-the-top styles from that period. There's Sophia, the bisexual club girl whose style is a "younger and less sophisticated Joan Collins" in Root's hands. She flits around in short jackets, bustiers and sexy leather pieces.

In the first episode, she sports dozens of skinny bracelets, a la Madonna. Tuesday is a punk record-store clerk who wears an anarchy T-shirt, black Levi's and a spiky mohawk, while Roger is a Reagan-loving car salesman with a penchant for plaid shirts and skinny ties. Corey, the main character, is a musician who favors nondescript jeans and T-shirts, while his younger sister, Katie, a college dropout, goes for a "Cyndi Lauper vintage-y style," according to Root. Their father, R.D., is the inventor of the.