The Vermont Sun from Saint Albans, Vermont • 2

'Editorials, of he ans ered, Vy another road, cue saw air. xar- Genera! Vermont Haws. Ministers Should Use Dr. Miles' Heart Cure. Howard National Bank Burlington, Vt.

THE BALLAD OF MAJOR MAHONE. Major Mahone was as gallant a man As ever looked into a gun; They say he was one ol the last to retreat When things went wrong at Bull Rim. He fought and he bled in the Wilderness, He waded the Rapidan; Whenever a rebel saw Major Mahone lie threw down his musket and ran. High np at a window a maiden once stood, The flames and the smoke swept around: Despair filled her breast as she gazed at the crowd 'Twas seventy feet to the ground; A hero rushed up through the fiery mass, The death demon howled for his own. But the fear-stricken maiden was snatched from his teeth By the valorous Major Mahone.

With the heart of a lion all the dangers he met; He knew not the meaning of fear; In peace and in war he was dauntless and yet We must shatter the idol right here; The man who had rushed into ruin's embrace. Who had bled on the bnilet-swept field, When the dentist's cold forceps were thrust in bis face, Forgot all his valor and "squealed." Cleveland Leader. slightly mouinea. 'On what 'Tariff 'n the currency." 'But we don't know anythinout the tariff and the a 'Neither does the boss, but heites two columns 'bout 'em every W4.ek. But if you can't do it write about -t "This struck the ladies and one of them bgan writings ar.

tide on the bicycle craze, while tg. city editor banded Tatters an item, which he took, wrinkling up his nose jaa marking that 'her question maris look like button and retreaterto the composing-room. "For the rest of the day the; kept him pretty well supplied with work. When not so provided he spent ha time perched 'on a high stool blowng a wheezy mouth organ and occasonally e'jouting in an agonize tone. Once or twice something offend-d him and he threatened to resign, but.as the ladies immediately surrendered nothing came of it "The nest two days passed in somewhat uneventful manner.

By giving Mm plenty of work he was kejt reasonably quiet There was not much trouble Thursday, either, though shortly after noon he set up a loin roar, saying tl'at be bad been taken sick and was in mortal agony. The ladies asked him if they could aot do something for him, but he only howled the louder and finally lay dovn on the floor upon his back and began pounding the boards fiercely with his lieels. A doctor was called, but is soon as Tatters saw bim he got up quickly and went back to work. 'What's the trouble with you, young inquired the doctor. 'Antimony poison from the answered Tatters, dismally.

'I'll g0 off some day with It just like scat! All good printers die of it sooner or "Tatters may have told the truth about his Illness, but I learned later on tli.it he had eaten his hatful of green apples at noontime, and you cat draw your own conclusions. "Friday was press day, and the ladies arrived at the office early Tatters rushed into the front room and addressing himself confidentially to the city editor, said: 'Say, want a bully item of 'Why, yes, Tatters, of course; what is 'Dog answered Tatters. 'Jim Beasley's dog and Deacon Ketcham's, Down by the postotiice. The deacon didn't want his dog to fight, hut Jim didn't care. Set down and get your pencil tell you all about it.

You see, the dogs met, and Jim's dog sort of walked around the deacon's dog once or what's the matter? Ain't you go ing to use It The editor said lie thought not cried Tatters, in conster nation, 'nothing about it, after I watch ed it and got all the facts for 'No, I don't think we care for it' 'Now, see said Tatte-p, drop ping his voice into a still mure confi dential tone, 'act reason'ble, say to me. I saw last night your icryfrfVas going to be dull, that it needed lVeti- iiig up 'tain't all your fault, It's tleui week I saw this, I say, and what do you think I did this monilug, just to help you i 'I don't know, Tatters wliat was "Tatters came closer, sank his voice almost to a whisper and 'I drove the deacon's dog around to the place and then I sicked Jim's onto him. Ail to give you an "The lady was deeply touched by his devotion, and said as much, but was forced to add that they could no: men tion a common dog fight in their edi tion. "Tatters drew back and stdod silently gazing at her. She expected nothing less than a final resignation oa the spot.

But his face showed sorrow rath er than anger. The young lady thought she detected a tear, but this is not probable. For a half minute he did not move, then he said: 'You couldn't use it in a funny way either, I s'pose? It was funny. The deacon ou his dog's tail and Jim pulled ou his dog's tail, though Jim didn't do any hard pulling Jim may have pushed a little when the deacon wasn't noticing. Y'ou wouldn't let me write it up, either, 1 "'No, Tatters.

I'-d like to, but I "Tatters turned back to the compos ing-room and not a sound was heard from him except the steady click of bis type for an hour. "It was about 11 0 clock when the editor-in-chief came into the office and said to the city editor: 'I think there is an item of new for us out at Tarbox's, on the Coopers ville road. I hear that Mr. Tarbox ha been injured by an unruly cow. It' only a nine and a nair out mere can't you go out on your bicycle and get the "There was a loud shout behind them and Tatters burst in and ran through the room, shedding his apron in his flight and saying: 'I'll tend to that, girls! I'm til wild-cow editor of this paper! Back in ten "The editor-in-chief ran to the win (low and looked down into the street.

'uoouness, gracious: sue cried to the other. 'There he goes ou your hi cycle, riding liko the wind and shout ing for everybody to get out of the way of the wild-cow editor. What shall we do 1 'I'll see If I can't catch him on your bicycle. And I'll go on aud find out about the accident, "But, though she was a good rider, slie might as well have tried to overtake an express train as the wlhl-cnw editor. Leaning over the handlebar and ringing the bell constantly, he never slackened his pace for the whole distance.

When sho arrived at Tarbox's she found that be had got the facts, gone down the lane and started back box, got his story of the occurrence nd returned herself, 'latters was in the office, looking innocent ana nara at work. -'Don't say anything to was the advice of the others. 'He II surely resign If you "She wrote a paragrapn aDoui tne ac cident and it was sent in to laiters with the rest of the copy. In a few minutes he came out holding the sheet of manuscript in his hand. "'See here, he said; 'are you going to print such stuff as this about that cow fight? 'What is It, asKeu tne eai- tor-in-chief.

"'Just listen, answered Tatters. She says: "Yesterday forenoon croon- dale's worthy milkman, Mr. larDox, had a narrow escape. He bad just separated a calf from Its mother when the latter became enraged and attacu-erl him with her horns. He was badly shaken up, but escaped serious injury." Do vou hear 'Yes.

It seems to me all right Fut it in just as it Tatters uttered a howl. -1 re Then he paused and was silent He looked at the floor for a full minute. then he said: 'No, I'll stick to it. After all I've lived through this week it's too late to go He went back to the other room and resumed his work. 'It was after supper that night be fore they got to press, uu1- witn tne prospect of a good sum for ameliorated heathen tho ladies did not complain.

Tatters' friend, Jim Beasley, had been engaged to come in and turn the crank of the press, while Tatters himself fed in the blank sheets and superintended the work. He seemed remarkably meek and pleasant, and the ladies all observed that they had not seen bun in so amiable a frame of mind during the whole week. 'The bicycle ride did Tatters they remarked. He ap peared, however, to be In a great hurry, and constantly urged Jim to turn faster and advised the ladies to make haste with the folding and get the pa pers ready for the postoffice. "It was a little before 11 clock that the edition was finished and Tatters began taking the forms off the press.

The ladies were in the front room. The editor-in-chief was glancing over the paper. 'I don't see that Item about Mr. she said. "The city editor opened another copy and began to run her eye down the columns.

Suddenly she exclaimed: 'Why, what's this down in the cor ner "What is cried the others in chorus. She read aloud: 'Terrible accident Yesterday fore noon, as old Bill Tarbox, the milkman, went into the barnyard to put a new handle on his pump, the old one being entirely worn out, he was attacked by a wild Texas cow. The critter had hydrophobia and was gnashing her teeth like a hyena and bellowing like au elephant. She was a large cow, higher than a horse, and had horns 'most a rod long. Varbox fit her with the handle, but she tossed him fifty feet Into tne air and then caught him ou the fly and h'isted him up again.

This time he lit in a tree and was rescued by the hook end ladder company. The cow jumped a sixteen-foot fence and took to the woods. The mad-cow editor of the Budget followed her and last saw her tearing up large hemlock treei with her horns. Tarbox is not expected to live. Full accoint of an interesting and important dog fight next "The ladies ran irto the back room, but Tatters had escaped through the back door.

"I got home th next day and resumed charge of the Br ret But Tatters' item was a good thing charity after all, because, ou account of it, a great many people bought the paper who would not otherwise have done so." New York Tribune. Mark Twain's Letter. A new proof of the effectiveness of the modern postoffice is furnished by the Philadelphia Record. A prominent member of the Flayers' Club of New York, now in this city, ha received a letter from Mark Twain under peculiar circumstances. The recipient of the letter collaborated with a fellow-member upon a letter to "Mark," whom they both knew intimately.

They did not know "Mark's" address at the time, so they addressed the missive, "Mark Twain. God-Knows-Where." Here is "Mark's" reply: "London, Nov. 24. vou. dear boys, for remembering me, and for the love that was back of It These are heavy days, and all such helps ease the burden.

I glanced at your envelope by accident and got several chuckles for reward and chuckles are worth much in this world. "And there was a curious thing; that I should get a letter addressed "God-Knows-Where' showed that He did know where I was, although I was hiding from the world, and no one in America knows my address, and the stamped legend. 'Deficiency of supplied by the New York post-office, showed that He had given It away. "In the same mail comes a letter from friends in New Zealand addressed 'Mrs. Clemens (care Mark Twain), United State of and again Ho gave us away tills time to the deficiency department of the San Fransiseo post-ojce.

These things show that our postal service has ramifications which ramify a good deal. MAKlC." The Opium Habit. Opiuia eating produces the most deadly form of Intoxication. Physical weak-uess soon overtakes the opium eater; his powers decay, the stimulant ceases to help him, and be is happy if death soon ends hU misery. The Ann Stry Chapter.

Daughters of th Revolution. uf l.utiau 1, will make a pilgrimage on Friday, May JS, to the grave of Ana blory, a heroic woman of llie revolution, who is buried in a country graveyard in ths town of Salisbury, some 25 miles north. She was a principal and true character in Thompson's novel. "Green MouutainBoys." The trip will be made by special train to the railway station, whence they will be taken by carriage to the grave and the site of the home and cave of "Mother Story." (jen.O.O. Howard will make au address.

A reunion of the veterans of Co.Bof the'Jth Vermont regiment will also be held, at which General Howard. General E. U. Kipley. who led the regiment into the city of Itichmond; General Dodge of New York aud Lieutenant Dodge of hicago, will be present.

A eampfire will be held at night. On Saturday a Memorial day iwrvice will be observed, ut which Gen eral Howard will be the orator. He will go from there to a Memorial day service at Fitchburg, Jlass. Constitution Encampment, No. 28.

I. O. O. has just been organized in Windsor bv D. O.

Wallace of Bt. Albans, graud chief patriarch, assisted by other officers of the craud encampment of the state. Ine en campment located at Rpringfield assisted in the ceremonies, ana conierrea tne several degrees on a class of about thirty. Follow ing are the officers of the new organization: L. M.

Cleverly, chief patriarch; George A. Gibbons, high priest; D. F. llugg. senior warden; Geo.

D. dough, treasurer; W. C. Ordway, scribe; D. Barbour, junior warden; E.

W. Billinss. guide; E. N. Coy, C.

O. Boyd, W. E. llobinson. Frauk Weld, watches; E.C.Wilder.Bert Frost.guards; Ernest Martin, inside sentinel: Kollin W.Kendall, outside sentinel.

With the charter members, this new organization sturts with a membership of nbout forty. The last meeting of the trustees of the Gill Odd Fellows' Home previous to the meeting of the Grand lodge in Montpelicr this week, was held in Ludlow. The board organized under a special act of the lust legislature making the home au incorporated institution. The home is tree from incumbrance, all debts are paid and there is money in the treasury. The following is the board of trustees as at present organized: H.

L. Parker, grand master, president ex-omcio, Lyudon-villo; H. W. Hall. P.

G. M. chairman, Burlington H. L. Stillsnn, P.

G. secretary, Bennineton L. G. Fullman. P.

G. treasurer, Ludlow: W. D. Wilson. P.

G. Kt.Albans O. H. Henderson. P.

G. ht. Johnshury L. J. Betting, P.

G. Brattleboro; H. E. Parker, grand secretary. Bradford H.

C. Farrar, P. (i. Itutlaud C. A.

Perry, P. G. Readsboro. Six hundred dollars in prizes is to begiven at the tournament of the State Firemen's association to be held in Vergennes, June The money will be divided as follows: Hand engine contest, ilrst prize. $250 second.

10() hose first. $150 second, S75 third, -25 hook and ladder contest, first. 12 second. $8 third. -f5.

Entries should be made to E. D. Mocre. secretary, Bennington, or to W. N.

Thompson, Vergennes. before June 12th. Barro will send an engine company and a hose company. The membership of the association now consists of 57 life members. 5 fire companies, 6 chief engineers and 1 honorary member.

Hardwick Gazette ia in deep water. Its secured liabilities are about 8000 and the editor, B. H. Albee, is sequestered by sickness in some locality not generally known. The establishment has been put into invol untary insolvency, and the messenger has put John E.

Harris in charge, aud Mr.Harrls will edit the paper for the time being, which is guaranty that the readers of the Gazette will have a lively paper. It may be ndded that this appointment effectually disposes of the baseless yarn that Mr. Harris had bought the Burlington Clipper aua would taKe possession June 1st. Eugene SI. Campbell of St.

Johnsbury started on Tuesday for Zurich. Switzerland, tn attend the International Supremo Lodge of Good Templars as a representative of the Grand Lodge of Vermont. The other delegate is the grand chief templar of Ver mont, Chnncev H. Hayde.n, principal 01 ts- snx Literary Institute. They expect 10 return home about the Aith of July.

Besides attending the session, which lasts about 10 days, they will visit many places ot interest, Tiaden Baden. Antwerp, Cologne. Mainz. Brussels. Heidelberg, the valley of the Khine, Paris, London and Lucerne.

The town of Salisbury was once a slave-holding town. A family coming from Connecticut in the last century brought a slave with them that lived and died in that town. The Sheldon museum at Middlebury has the bill of sale, dated 1773. The price named was 20. The Fuller Battery has recently elected H.

L. Waterman, before junior second lieutenant.flrst lieutenant to succeed A. T. McClure, resigned. Second sergeant Geo.

Collins was chosen junior second lieutenant to succeed Waterman. O. W. Davis, recently elected captain of Company Vermont National Guard, (Bennington), has passed a successful examination before the examining board at Burlington and will be recommended to the governor for a commission. Col.

liobert J. Coffey of Bennington, and First Lieut. Albert T. McClure. brevet captain, late of the first light battery, Brattleboro, have each been placed upon the retired list of the Vermont National Guard with their respective ranks.

Mrs. Maria McCuen of North street, Burlington, has the proud distinction of having 57 children, grandchildren and great grandchildren. This remarkable lady is still in the best of health aud expects to live long enough to see many more. The circulation of the Rutland free library during April was 5541. The number of books taken out of the library for corresponding months in lS'Jo and 1S9G was 5228 and 5002, respectively.

The next annual session of the grand com-mauderv. United Order of Golden Cross, of Vermont, will be held ut Brattleboro on Wednesday, April 4, 1898. Middleburv's G. A. It.

post will celebrate Memorial day Monday, May 81, instead of Saturday, having obtained a dispensation from the depart men t. The Amidon Spring portable saw mill hns been moved from West Chesterfield to the Ball lot in Vernon owned by Mr. Cum-miugs. Eighteen persons live in a one-room shanty, 16 by 20 feet, in the town of Woodstock, not far from the Bridgewater line. The annual convocation of the grand chapter, O.

E. of Vermont, wilt be held in Bnrton on Wednesday, June 2nd. The office of Chinese inspector at the port of ltichford. held by E. M.

Sutton of Burlington. ha- been discontinued. E. E. Bassett of Bridgewater shot a large American bald eagle, which measured Bl-2 feet, the other day.

An effort is being made to organize a Knights of Pythias lodge at Lyndonville. CYCLING NOTES. One bicycle has been supplied to every polioo station in the suburbs of Paris for the use of the force. The veteran actor Joseph Jefferson, is now an enthusiastic cyclist, and bos made application for membership in the L. A.

W. The Marlborough House, London, contains a cvole room, where ore kept tho cycles of the Prince and Princess of Wales and the family. An old man of seventy-five and his wife of seventy, in an English home for the aged, have petitioned the authorities to let them have a tandem bicycle. Mayor MeKisson, of Cleveland, Ohio, has vetoed the ordinance giving the wheelmen of that city tbe privilege of riding on the sidewalks of the unpaved streets. Capital, Surplus and Profits, $300,000 100,000 A general banking business transacted.

Special attention given to accounts of out-of-town depositors. Foreign drafts and letters of credit csaed. Interest Department. Interest paid on special time deposits. Books Issued npon which interest compounds twice each year.

Certificates of deposit bearing interest issued to those who prefer theiu. Accounts may be ened by mail. DIRECTORS: JOEL H. GATES, I'res DANIEL W. ROBINSON, Vice-Pres't.

ALBERT C. SPAULDING, ELIAS LYMAN, F. E.BUUGES, Cashier. BURLINGTON SAVINGS BANK CHARTERED IN 1847. Deposit! Dec.

31, 1896 $5,509,13 95 (surplus, 280,310 44 Total Atseta, $3. 780. 434 9 TKUSTEE8 C. F. Ward, Willard Crane, C.

P. Smith, Hexry Greexb, 3. L. Barstow, A. G.

Pierce, Henry Wells. Receives and pays deposits daily. Deposits made on or before the 4th of any month draw Interest from the 1st. If made after the 4th Interest will commence the 1st of the following month. Interest will be credited to depositors Jan.

1st and July 1st, compounding twice a year. There are no stockholders in this bank. All the earnings, less expenses belong to depositors. The rate of interest depends on the earnings, and for the past twelve years has been per cent, but by a law enacted at the last session of the legislature, no savings bank can pay more than 4 per cent until its surplus reaches ten per cent of its deposits, when a special dividend is to be made. AH taxes are paid by the bank on deposits of $1500 or less.

Deposits are limited by law to 2000 and no interest will be paid on any sum in excess of this amount, except on deposits oy widows, orphans, administrators, executors, guardians, charitable or religious institutions, or on trust funds deposited by order of court. This bunk prefers Vermont securities for the investment of its funds, and sends no money out of the State until the home demand is met. No money loaned to any officer or trustee of the bant. CHARLES P. SMITH, President.

FREDERICK WARD, Treasurer. 1 I r. DR. RY BAXTER'S MANDRAKE BITTERS, CURES CONSTIPATION AND BILIOUSNESS. A delightful tonic and lax ative.

Can be taken by young and old. Is dieting necessary. Eat anything you like and plenty of it. Builds up "run down" people making them well and vigorous. Try it.

At Druggists. Only 9Be per bottle. Henry, Johnson Lord, Burlington, Vt, EUGENE H.SIBLEY, DEALER IN vacuuh lubricating OILS FOR MACHINERY OF ALL KINDS. Cylinder, Engine and Separator Oils. These goods are Dot excelled in quality and money aved "5y using them.

"Lubricating Greases. TELEPHONE 60-3. hltbeater'a EnaM.ll Brvncf TfJNYROYAl PILLS Original and Only Genuine. Droggist tor' Chichester 9 Jtntt'ink Brand In ited and nU iiittaiUe Wrlhoieff, waled wiih blue rilibon. To It A fa ivnu ether.

rue danatrvu nthttuw. Af (tone and imitation, ai Druggima, oraend 4a Jf In iiirofi for jmrtioulan. tetOnioDials ut "Keller Tor lad'-t in letter, hr retan SlulL 1 0.000 TmtintAilHla. Aumi Papt rinBaM For the benefit of cyclists' tho trustees of the Brooklyn Bridge hnve decidod to place asphalt strips oh each side of the approaches to the bridge, which are now paved with granlto block. BuRiuess men of Daytoii.

Ohio, have been at work in conjunction with the wheelmen In doing away with Btrcot sprinkling. They hnve had to pay for tho sprinkling themselves, and will devote the money raised for that purpose to having the streets ewept several times each day. 1 The bicyclists of Bt. Louis have asked for the passage of a bill by the City Council to Impose a tax of one dollar on every wheel in the city owned by persons over twelve years of age. The bill was passed and with it a wide-tire ordinance that was prepared by the Vehicle Owners' Association.

ft THEKE IS NO PROFESSION, whose labors so severely tas the nervous sy -tern, as that of the ministry. The derangement of the nerve centers of the brain by over work, frequently brings on attacks of heart trouble, and nervous prostration. Tv. P. Kester.

M. Pastor D. B. church, London Mills, himself a physician, writes Feb. 26, 1S95: "Heart affection and nervous prostration had become so serious last fall that a little over work In the pulpit wouid so completely prostrate me Tir Milfi 'kat Eccmed certain I LIL must tha ort Heart CUre of tne ministry entirely.

Heart pa lpiVation became 1CSIgTCS so bad that my auditors TTanlfV) would ask me if I did not XlCdim.a.... have heart disease. Last November I commenced taking Dr. Miles New Ileart Curo alternately with Dr. Slilei Nervine and derived the greatest possible benefit.

I have just closed revival work cf 10 weeks, preaching nearly every night and twice cn the Subbath. I can speak for hours without suffering as I formerly did. Hard working ministers should keep Dr. Miles' grand remedies on hand." Dr. Miles' Heart Cure is sold on guarantee, first bottle will benefit or money refunded.

111 VITGEi HAZEL OIL FOR Piles or Hemorrhoids. Fissures Fistulas. Burns Scalds. Wounds Bruises. Cuts Sores.

Boils Tumors. Eczema Eruptions. Salt Rheum Tetters. Chapped Hands. Fever Blisters.

Sore Lips Nostrils. Corns Bunions. Stings Bites of Insects. Three Sizes, 25c, 50c. and $1.00.

Sold by druggists, or sent post-paid on receipt of price Ill HSWUIIanSU, New Yorb. Is There gA Cure? Yes, beyond question. Every condition leading to either Rheumatism OR Neuralgia Can be CHANGED by Athlophoros Which will dispel the DISTURBING CAUSES from the SYSTEfl. Write for our TREATISE on Rheumatism, $1 per Bottle All Druggists. The ATHLOPHOROS COMPANY, New Haven, Conn.

PARKER'S CltCCER TONIC itatfi Lung Troubles, Debility, stomach fttta ftmsle iLi, and ie noted for making nires when all otiuff trwitment fails. Everv mother and invalid iliotild have IL PARKER'S HAIR BALSAM anl beautifies the bah. I Promote! a luxuriant growth. Never Pail" to Bertore Gray, mm Cures tcalp dices? ft hair falling. j-inir to its 1 ouiiiiu 1 1,0 joc.

(a acq 1,1111 ,11 HINDERCORNS Thero Corns. Stooi ail MxkM vaikirveaav.ljo. uDruftlia GOOD RIVER DAIRY FARM FOR SALE. One of the best farms in Windsor county, half way between Sharon and West Hartford, creamery at each place, on White river. About 70 acres of best meadow land, smooth, level, free from stones, balance of 38b acres in pasture and wood land.

Two nearly new barns one 40x200 feet, cost $8000; the other, 40x100 feet, cost $4000; also silo barn and fine large ic house. Comfortable farm house of seven rooms. The land alone cost $5000 only a few years ago. It was owned by a city gentleman who failed in business and farm went on mortgage to Savings Batik. It is now offered for sale at 54500.

Great chance for a live man. Address, "FARM" Clipper Office. Wanted--An Idea Wbo thrnic of iotitr itiiTk ttilhg 10 i(i ui VrntM nnr the YTtfcY brtuir vim wpmNii Write JOHN WtbDKKbDRN ft Altor-dcjtl Whlntoii, D. for their IW1 une vrtr na IM ot iwo bwulrad laraouou hm EIUI "TATTERS." After baffling the unholy greed of the train conductor for tickets by flashing an annual pass in his face, the country editor threw his feet up on the opposite seat and told the following story: "Of course, I didn't escape beins a victim of the rage for 'woman's editions' which swept over the land a few months ago. The ladies of a local society descended upon me and I surrendered, took two pipes, a pound of smoking tobacco and a fishing-rod anl decamped, leaving the Budget in their charge for one week, with the privilege of making all they could out of it.

My printer was supposed to stay, but, being by classification a tramp, and having a heavy board bill hanging over his head by a single hair, he embraced tho opportunity, two hours after I had gone, to walk away down the railroad track. This left the mechanical end of the office at the mercy of the an inky imp called 'TatterV The ladies were a good deal disturbed at the defection of the printer, but bravely decided to go ahead with Tatters and get out the paper. They called him In to give him some instructions. He 6tood before them wearing, as usual, a long apron stiff with ink, paste and unknown substances; the only thing which saved hid face from beiug in the same condition as bis apron was the fact that he was in the habit of constantly twisting It into so many shapes that the ink, paste and unknown substances on it never had time to stiffen. His hair pointed in all directions, like that of a jack-in-the-box, and in his left hand he carried a section of a column of wet type.

are you doing, inquired the lady who was president of fhe amelioration suciety, with some 'Throwin' answered the Imp. "Throwing in "'Into 'The case. Think I was thrown' it Into my "The lady looked at him coldly and he went on: 'But I'm 'most through and you'll hear me hollerin' for copy In 'bout a quarter of a and he retreated into the composing-room and slammed the door. "The ladies were indignant, but there was clearly nothing for them to do but to grin and bear it. A few minutes later there came a most dismal, long-drawn wail from the other room, T.hich, after some effort, they managed to interpret as the promised It was followed by the appearance of Tatters' head at the door.

"'What is asked the president, who had been chosen editor-in-chief, a little sharply. returned Tatters. 'Did yon think I was singing the 'There is no copy ready yet. Can't you be doing something else? 'I can he snatched off his apron and started for the door. 'I can be going fishing just as easy as cried the frightened editor, springing before the door, 'don't yo-j dare to desert us! You here tili some copy is ready for "Tatters retreated and put on his arron in an agitated frame of mind.

"A moment later one of the younger ladles, who had been appointed managing editor, took a roll of dainty written manuscript from her handbag and said: 'Here, Tatters. Is something which you can begin on." "Tatters took it, sniffed, glanced at it and said: "'What is it spring 'No, It's the essay that I read at commencement. We shall put it ou the fourth 'What! the editorial shrieked Tatters. 'Put such guff as that ou the editorial page of the Budget! Not and he tossed the manuscript on the table. shall certainly do as we see interposed the editor-in-chief witn great dignity.

1 'I cried Tatters, again tearing off his apron and throwing it Iil'-liind him, where it struck in the city editor's lap, greatly to her dismay. resign my posisli, that's all. Here, If you want it in Ink, glmmc a pen. Lem-me write it out In black 'n white "Dear Madam: I hereby resign my posisli. (Signed) Tatters." GImnio a pen, I "'Tatters, be calm act said the editor-in-chief in a soothing tone.

'What shall we put on the editorial.