The Times from San Mateo, California • Page 15

(Times Photo by Ray Zirkel) RUNS IN THE FAMILY Julie McKenney, 17, sister of the 1976 San Mateo County Dream Girl, Kelli McKenney, Friday won the Miss Foster City title before a iam-packeci audience at Doiley's Restaurant, Foster City. With the title she received a $1,750 two-semester scholarship to the Academy of Art College, San Francisco. Runner up was Chpryl Dere, 17, and second runner up, was Debbie Dennis, 17, while Therese Doss, 17, was named Miss Congeniality. Judges were Monte Dayton, Jean Martin and John Steen. Sponsor was the Foster City Recreation Department.

Monday, May 30, 1977 THE TIMES Son Motw-- IS Tri-City Alternatives Help for Families in Crisis By JANET PARKER Their stories could be told in almost any suburban community. Suzy, a middle-aged South San Francisco housewife, was just out of high school when she married. The mother of four teenagers has become "totally dissilu- sioned" with being a parent. Police officers are summoned to a home where a family quarrel has reached a crisis point and mother, lather and children are no longer able to talk rationally to one another. A high school student with a previously clear record is caught shoplifting.

A South San Francisco-based counseling service, Tri-City Alternatives, has been dealing with all kinds of family turmoil in three North County cities for more than a year. In just the first four months of this year, the four counselors have seen 150 families from the target cities. Tri-Cities is a 24-hour crisis referral service for the police departments, a family counseling center and a juvenile diversion program rolled into one. The bulk of the program caseload is In family therapy. It's one of six programs in the county developed in recent years to counsel families facing pressure and strain.

The program which serves Brisbane and San Bruno, as well, is the only one, however, partially funded and supported by a Boys' Club. In fact, says county Crime and Delinquency Prevention Officer Gary Yazalina, it's a departure from the traditional view of a boys' club as simply a gathering place for boys. The programs, Yazalina explained, are based on changing state legislation which encourages alternatives to the juvenile probation system. One night a week and one weekend a month, each of the four counselors is on call with the local police departments. As family crises arise, police officers contact an answering service, which in turn calls the counselor who's toting a beeper that night.

Then, according to counselor Rob Howard, the 'un- UhcZTimtt Peninsula selor on duty decides if the situation is a serious crisis meriting immediate attention or if it could be handled with a phone call. Since the beginning of the year, the three local police departments have paged counselors 23 times. South San Francisco Juvenile Officer Pat Sullivan said police originally were reluctant about the changes in law that gave birth to programs like Tri-Cities. But their experience with the program to date, he said, has been "fantastic." The program, Sullivan said, "has had a hell of a lot more success than juvenile court ever had." It's forcing parents, he said, to deal more effectively with their own child with the aid of an objective, well-trained counselor. "I see more crises as a result of families holding things in for a long time," Howard said Suddenly, the family pressures erupt into a crisis, frequently over petty, trivial matters.

Counselor Jeff Lugerner was paged one Saturday night to assist police with a volatile family situation. A young girl had locked herself in the bathroom, defying her parents. Other family emotions have reached a boiling point over things as minor as a child who took something out of the refrigerator without asking, counselors said. A frequent problem, said counselor Batya Miller, are runaways. A child decides to take off because he believes no one really cares about him, she said.

"It's not that the caring isn't there," Ms. Miller Hard Work, Being Out on Town By TERRY DAVENPORT Bob Ironside has been out on the town every night for the past two weeks. His evening visits to Padfica are work, not play. They're part of the intensive research that his company is doing before rewriting the city's General Plan. Pacifica recently hired Ironside and Associates for $98,760 to complete a new plan within 14 months.

Up to 40 Pacifica residents attended each neighborhood meeting that Ironside scheduled to bear what citizens want for their community. "They're not only citizens' meetings; they're an opportunity for residents, elected and appointed officials and city staff to talk about issues rather than going through the traditional hierarchy," said Ironside. Four workshops also will involve Pacificans in the new General Plan. The first will be held Saturday, June 11, from 9 a.m. to 4 p.m.

in the cafetorium of Terra Nova High School. Ironside urges those who plan on attending to obtain and read beforehand a workbook that he's preparing for the workshop. Copies will be available soon from City Manager Don Weidner. The workbook will present issues discussed in the neighborhood meetings organized by categories such as "land use," "public services" and "open space." Its purpose is to stimulate discussion at the workshop. Ironside said people at the local meetings repeatedly brought up the same issues.

"Basic traffic circulation is one issue of concern to many. Many people are concerned about the community's tax base and Paclfica's ability to provide adequate services." He said the discussions are bringing out basic philosophies about what kind of community Pacific should be. "Some would like it to be more accessible; others want to see no changes and feel there are already too many people." Ironside said there are at least three choices ahead for Pacifica: to be a bedroom community, to be a balanced community with more Industry or commerce, or to be a beach community. Part of his job, he believes, is to sort out the real issues. "I'm hearing a lot of frustration that's based, in part, on a fear of events that will not occur." "I'm like a psychologist.

I'm not trying to influence changes; I'm trying to determine what people want," Ironside added. Planning Administrator Mac Carpenter said that one of the reasons Pacifica selected Ironside and Associates is the company's commitment to heavy community involvement in the General Plan. "The General Plan is not just a colored map. It's a short range plan for the city that should be revised and updated yearly, instead of a long-range wish book," Carpenter said. He noted that one problem with the existing General Plan, which was formulated in 1969, is that it does not jibe with the city's zoning plan.

The result, he said, Is that people wishing to invest in Pacifica are subjected to "rigamarole," a parade of legal steps and hearings that cause many investors to give up in frustration. One of Ironside's goals is to revise the zoning plan, so that it is consistent with the General Plan. The two must be in conformance, according to a state law passed in 1973. Ironside will open the June 11 workshop with a brief introduction and then will divide people into small groups so that everyone has an opportunity to talk. Each group will discuss the same issues and will summarize conclusions at the end of the day.

Ironside plans to organize and summarize these comments, then will "send them back out" to the Pacifi- cans, to ascertain whether he has recorded their thoughts correctly. The Ironside team working on the General Plan includes a geologist, a biologist, an economist, a traffic engineer and a management consultant. "We'll determine what the existing conditions are, we'll analyze those conditions, measure them against some desirable standards and then will present some reasonable alternatives." Those alternatives should be ready in time for the second community workshop, which Ironside said will be scheduled in the fall. Public Hearing on Daly City Budget Concern Expressed for Recreation Cuts Several Daly City taxpayers say they are concerned that City Manager David Howe's $185,100 recreation budget proposal calls for cutbacks. The City Council recently held its second study session on the proposed 1977-78 budget of $14,712,640.

About 30 persons attended the session, but fewer people chose to speak than at the first meeting the previous week. During the three-hour session, the council and department heads went over the recreation facilities proposal, the public a i i i request and the maintenance budget. The recreation proposal drew the most public comment, with several speak- ers urging that the director of recreation, parks and maintenance's $196,880 request be substituted for Howe's proposal. Director Charles Vincent's request would fund all of the playground programs, but Rowe's proposal would cut the recreation programs at Frankfort Park, M. Pauline Brown School and Our Lady of Mercy School.

Rowe told the council that the programs were chosen i i because OE the proximity of other facilities. In addition, Rowe suggested elimination of funds for several other recreation activities, including preschool cooking, classes and several athletic tournaments. But, he noted, the activities probaWy would be held, with the aid of volunteers. Several speakers urged more funds for the jeopardized programs. a a i said, I support the position of the staff.

Involved children do not become delinquent children. Many parents work and the program gives the children something to do." Jane Powell, a Recreation Commission member, said, "I wish that nothing had to be cut." She referred to a speaker at last week's session who suggested adding more police personnel, possibly at the expense of recreation. "If you don't fund recreation, you may need more police," she declared, citing youthful vandalism and crime upsurges. Harold Calder, 'uead of a local taxpayers committee which is calling for a significantly lower tax rate, inquired' if the city staff has fully explored federal funding for recreation. Rowe replied that federal manpower funding has been utilized as much as possible in recreation budgets.

The city manager said the recreation facilities budget attempts io maintain current levels of funding. The City Council also looked at a $1,792.900 budget proposal for the public works water operations. The proposal tops the current level of $1,718.460. i i David Macabee pointed out, how- a the $500,000 amount allocated for San Francisco water purchase is an increase of $20,000 from the current $480,000 spending level. He said water conservation, increased use of municipal well water and higher water rates foreseen for the future are keeping the purchase budget down.

The council also spent some time on the $497,610 a i a a slated to increase from the a a i Maintenance Supervisor Doris Thomasson said she had recommended the addition of two custodians, which were not funded in the city manager's proposal. She said the city has added several new facilities during the past few years, which require more custodial work. Rowe said he does not dispute her proposal, but the reins had to be held somewhere. said. "It's just that no one has bothered to mention it in the last few years." Lugerner said he often has found that "caring" gets wrapped up in a 15-minute lecture from father to son.

When counselors arrive at the scene, Howard explained, they try to clarify the issues why the blowup occurred and, then, what is really going on underneath the surface of what appears to be a petty argument. "We usually see where there have been a lot of tensions building over a long time," Howard said. It's the job of the counselor to reframe some of the things that are being said by parent and child in more positive terms things that show both parent and child do care about each other, although they have a difficult time expressing it. Youths often are referred to Tri-Cities by police officers who give them a choice either a stay at Hillcrest Juvenile Hall or voluntary participation In the counseling program. Yazalina said there has been a marked increase in referrals to county juvenile probation as a result of the programs like Tri-Cities.

Communities, he said, are handling many cases that never should have gone to court in the first place. Counselors eventually found that they were seeing many teen-agers for similar issues. Two of the counselors, Lugemer and Patsy Aguirre, have initiated discussion groups, in which teen-age boys and girls discover they have a lot in common. Frequently, Ms. Aguirre said, parents call Tri-Cities because they are frustrated.

Many parents think they can send their unruly child to juvenile hall and check him in, and they're disappointed when they find out they can't. While the hall might accept the child, he can't be locked in unless he is labeled a "602" a child who has committed what would be a criminal offense if he or she were an adult. Yet, another function of Tri-Cities is a series of gatherings called Parent Child Communication sessions with ideas gathered from the Parent Effectiveness Training (PET) techniques in the book by Dr. Thomas Gordon. One recent night, 17 adults of varying ages gathered at the boys' club for a group session.

A young mother told how her hyperactive son was leading her to the brink of child abuse. She was turning to the Tri-Cities sessions to keep her emotions from reaching that point. "I love him, but I can't stand him," she said of her boy. Another mother with four teen-agers is shocked by the lifestyle of youth their negative attituda toward school, their vulgar language and their compulsion to smoke in the house, no matter how much their parents object. The session was spent analyzing what Gordon calls "typical responses to children's messages" things like: Ordering, directing and commanding "You must," "You have to," and "You will." Criticizing and blaming "You are bad," "You are lazy," and "Your hair is too long." Name-calling and ridiculing "Crybaby," and "Okay, Mr.

Smarty." Probing and interrogating "What?" "Why?" "Who?" and "Where?" Parents criticized some messages, rejected others and supported still others. One mother noted, for example, that it's difficult not to offer a child advice when it's apparent he's searching for an answer. Gordon says advice can imply superiority and make a child feel inferior. "Let them know we're adults and we don't always have the answer." Howard said. The solution a parent has may be right for the parent, but not for the child, he added.

It's avoiding the "Lone Ranger syndrome," he said. Someone might rescue a child from near disaster and ride off into the sunset, but never teach the child how to save himself. Putting it another way, if a person is hungry, providing a meal is a one-time solution, Ms. Miller said. But, if someone shows a hungry person how to grow a garden, they're set for life.

Ms. Miller said hardest situations are those in which at least one family member isn't willing to make an investment toward solving the problem. "We're not blaming the parent for everything that goes wrong with the child," Lugerner said. Once a child enters the teens, peer groups become the major influence and often peer group standards are different than those of parents. "Most parents are doing the best they can, even though some of the things they are doing are destructive to the kids," Howard said.

"It's just that they don't know any San Mateo Considers Writing Fire Insurance for Residents Though it will be long in study, a proposal that the city undertake the i i of i insurance struck a strong spark of interest in the San Mateo City Council. Councilman John J. Murray commented at last week's study session, "It seems to me this would be the most far-reaching act and one i i a greatest a and national impact." The proposal was contained in a year-long study of the city's fire protection services. The study was conducts by a P. i rteputv state attorney general, who was the chairman; William H.

Bissull, attorney; Watt B. i regional manager; and John A. Raiser, president of Raiser Construction Co. Recognizing that San Mateo be a pioneer should it undertake such a move, Murray said, "It won't win me or any of us any friends in the insurance business." i a i a because the subject is one of such enormous complexity, political and economic impact, i touched upon it. He said it would take long and careful study to determine how or If it should ever be implemented.

O'Brien and Raiser noted San Mateo property owners pay about million in fire insurance i annually. That is the lucrative side of the business, Raiser noted. Fire losses in San Mateo are a minimal drain on the insurance companies' income. They are, a i slugged with claims for other losses, including burglaries. The net result could well be an Increase in other kinds of insurance i a should the city take over fire insurance, it was agreed.

At the same time a pointed out that with a fire insurance premium income of $6 million, the city would more than cover the $2.7 million annual cost of its fire department. "Should this ever be considered, it would perhaps a for a much larger and comprehensive fire department with training in fire prevention as well as suppression," Murray said. Councilman Floyd E. "This appears to be the i step to U1KC. The i present experience In self-Insur- ance has been a good one, it was agreed.

a noted a sharp increase in other i counteracted by a sharp decrease in fire insurance premiums. O'Brien said, "You a be a pioneer. We couldn't find one city that has gone into it." A study had been made of the possibility by a former a i i i chief. He is now i chief in Palm Springs and was contacted by the committee. The figures quoted on premiums are ballpark estimates, the committee pointed out.

Photo) SIX MILLIONTH SAMTRANS RIDER Kelly Butcher, a student at Bowditch School, received a certificate Friday as the six millionth rider In the San Mateo County Transit District from driver Lois Bolltho as the district celebrated reaching its 1976-77 rider- ship goal a year ahead of schedule. Actually, as general manager John T. Mauro explained, "we knew we would reach 6,000,000 riders this morning, but we couldn't be sure where It would happen. So, we decided to honor a six millionth rider at 8 a.m. on every one of our buses." The lucky a not only received a free ride but found that the certificate is good for a 32-day SamTrans reduced fare permit.

The 1977-78 rldershlp target Is 14 million. SamTran consolidated bus systems In 11 cities In the county last July, and now carries 14,000 passengers a day..