Chicago Tribune from Chicago, Illinois on February 15, 1978 · 19
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Chicago Tribune from Chicago, Illinois · 19

Chicago, Illinois
Issue Date:
Wednesday, February 15, 1978
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Chicago Tribune, Wednesday, February 15, 1978 Section 2 3 ! Temp Men place premium on love and marriage Continued from 1st Tempo page ledgmcnt of modern men's need for empathetic companionship and their hope of finding it in the modern woman: "Mainly, I prefer a companion who I can get along -with, who wants to be with me, who makes me want to be with her. Sex is important, but so is intelligent conversation and an interesting everyday life." Men have told us they want women as companions and that they want a home life, but will they be in love with their partners? Do they want to be? Do men believe in love any more, or is it an old-fashioned idea that is meaningless in our sexually liberated era? Question: How do you feel about being In love? Most important thing in life 38.4 per cent Good, but can live fully without it 25.2 per cent If you're in love, sex is better 21.5 per. cent Love is necessary for good sex S.9 per cent Sex is better without love 3.3 per cent Love is an old-fashioned idea 3.0 per cent No answer i.5 per cent MORE WHITE MEN (39 per cent) answered that love is the most important thing in life than did nonwhites (31 per cent). Education and occupational status made little difference. We also asked an essay question on the subject of love to ascertain how men defined love and its place in their lives: Essay question: How do you feel about being in love? Do you prefer to be in love with your sexual partners, how important is love in your life, and what does love mean to you? "Being in love is the greatest. Love means contentment, good sex life, and marriage." "Love is. most important; Sex can result in some heavy scenes; without love or at least a sense of responsibility, troubles can develop." SOME MEN affirmed that fulfillment and meaning in life hinge upon love: "Without love, my wife, my kids, I wouldn't have fulfilled my way. of life. Without these things, I wouldn't have much of a life to keep me going the way 1 am going today." "I think life would be useless and almost impossible without love." One-quarter of oursample said of love, "It's good, but one can live a full life without it." The divorced-widowed were about 5 percentage points higher than the rest, with 30 per cent taking this attitude. Men in their 30s (29 per cent) thought they could do without love more than any other age bracket; despite the common belief that love is less important as you grow older, men over 55 said this only 20 per cent of the time. The less-educated man was less willing to forgo love 22 per cent of men who did not complete high school vs. 27 per cent of college graduates. FOR EVERY MAN who thought sex was better without love to complicate it, there, were 10 who thought love was essential for good sex or, at least, improved sex. Even the divorceu-widowed, who were most likely ko feel 6ne can live a full life without love, said 25 per cent of the time that sex is better if you're in love. Only 3 per cent of our sample said that love is an old-fashioned idea. Married people (2 per cent) expressed this idea least often, and the divorced-widowed were most disillusioned (5 per cent). Age made no statistical difference in those who rejected the concept of love, though some respondents thought so: "As an older person, compatibility and common interests rate higher than what we call love." "This final question is the crux of the questionnaire. You talk love. You talk sex. Each one can survive without the other. Amen, eggheads it's your problem, not mine. You don't need my help." AS THE uncooperative gentleman observed, we may indeed be at the crux of our study. If you want to read men's opinions on sex, go to a newsstand, put , down $1.50, and you'll get your fill of exploits and fantasies. But nowhere will you find men talking about love, and there are far more men who think sex is better with love than without it. THE VOICES of our 4,0Gfi men have been weaving in and out of our text like, a Greek chorus, and now we are ready to place them stage center, listening in the wings and trying to learn. something about this crucial issue. Our men have spoken of commitment, sharing, overcoming problems together, meeting each other's needs, and empathizing with each other. They made it sound more like work than fun and it was what they wanted. Men are goal-directed creatures. They like to see their educations, their jobs, even their pastimes leading to some sort of goal or purpose. They regard the natural world in tcleological terms everything designed for a purpose. Men expect their sex lives to have some sort of purpose, too. Turn a man loose in a sexually liberated society and tell him he has nothing to do but enjoy himself, and he is likely, instead, to make up some sort of a contest, such as how many women he can engage, how many acts he can perform, or how well he can perform. Our survey has shown that any one man in three thinks love is the most important thing in the world, and only one in five considers sex the most important pleasure; therefore nen will integrate both love and sex into an overall plan for their lives that harnesses these powerful forces into servicing their long-term goals for career and personal satisfaction. IF A WOMAN wants to win a man's love, she must be part of the blueprint that guides the development of his entire life, providing him not merely with an enticing sexual partner, but with a serious, concerned helpmate, ready to share and give. In reading the comments of our subjects on love, some people might say that these men are not romantic at all. Of course, there are almost as many definitions of "romance" as there are for "love," but romantic notions generally are considered to be those that are emotional, sentimental, idealized often to the point of impracticality, and involve an overestimation of the beloved. The men of today do not seem to incorporate physical longings and acts into their definition of love in fact, many asserted that love and sex were two different things, but today's man envisions a mutual devotion, a placing of the partner's needs above one's own. In bygone years, by the time men realized their dreams of physical intimacy, they were already enmeshed in a partnership of empathy and sharing. Now, having bypassed the whole phase of infatuation with a woman's physical potentials, their dreams focus on a state of interpersonal intimacy. THE WOMAN who wishes to be loved no longer can rely on the subtle sexual messages conveyed by Jneticulous grooming, sensuous body language, and the proper air of mystery. A woman must project the image of being the reliable, empathic sort of person who can offer and share more than sex. The sexual realm, once the dwelling place of romantic ideals, is now inhabited by such mundane considerations as "My place or yours?" and "Do you have protection?" The ideals have moved a step beyond and taken refuge, ironically, in the traditionally practical realm of long-term relationships. Romantic ideals and life practicalities make strange bedfellows, but perhaps the fruit of their stormy union is that elusive thing we have come to call "love." Reprinted by permission o! Times Books from "Beyond the Male Myth: What Women Want to Know About Men's Sexuality, a nationwide survey by Anthony Pletropmto, M.D.. and Jacqueline Simenauer. Copyright 1977 by Anthony Piet-ropinio, M.D. and Jacqueline- Simenauer, Distributed by Special Features. 0 rar j-i . j.yiHT.ii i "f-n.'f " a. if Ik f ; K ' f 1 if ' k .jf:.i Jane Alexander (left), Laurence Olivier, and Katharine Ross in "The Betsy." Even lovers of trash won't like 'The Betsy' By Gene Siskel o Movie critic V COLRSE "The Betsy" is trash. That's what it's supposed to be. ' That's what its audience wants, the same huge audience that buys every one of Harold Robbins' trashy novels. An advertisement for the film claims that "the most dvnamic, sexy, powerful people arc Harold Robbins people." That's a polite way of saying that Robbins books, and the films upon which they are based, serve up super soft-core porn in luxurious surroundings. . How else do you explain the following tasteless scene, which inexplicably occurs in the middle of a saga of an automotive scion's attempt to build one last great car. In action that lasts one minute, the scion's .-year-old grandson watches his homosexual hither blow his brains out in a car. Then the crying kid runs upstairs to his mother's bedroom only to discover that Mom is shacked up with Gramps! It would be easy to laugh off that scene as just so much tastelessness, yet I can't help but think that some of the upright (oiks who patronize "The Betsy" for scenes like that are the same people who also tomplain about the horrible language their children are exposed to in a fine film like 'Saturday Night Fever." ! THERE'S A CRAIV of a decent story In "The Betsy." Laurence Olivier (well, after jou do a TV commercial, Larry, I suppose nothing's sacred) stars as 86-year-old Lorcn Slardcman Sr., a man who we're led to believe is as important within the automotive industry as Henry Ford or Walter Chrysler. Confined to a wheelchair for random moments in the film. Hardeman Sr. labors with a dream creating a "people's car," one that's "small, cheap, pollution-tree, economical, and safe." TRIBUNE MINI-REVIEW: Sleazy writer Vj "THE BETSY" Directed by Dinlal Pttrta: icraanplay by William But and Waltar Barnalaln baaad on trta Harold Robblna novtl; pholo- Sraphad by Mark) Toil; adltad by Rita Roland: tnyale bv John, airy; producad by Robart R. Watton; an Aiuatf Artiita ralaaaa at outlying thaatara. Ratad R. THE CAST Loran Hardaman Sr Lauranca Otvhr Loran III Robart Ouvall Bally Hardaman Xatharlna Rota Artgalo Pari no Tommy La Jonaa Alicia Hardaman Jan Alaiandar Lady Bobby Ayraa Ltalay-Anna Down Jaka Welnataln Joiaph Wluman Baity Hardaman Katniaan Bauar You would think that a man worth $250 million could build anything he damn well pleases, but then we wouldn't have a Harold Robbins' movie, would we? Standing in the wav of Hardeman Sr.'s dream buggy is that baby grandson, now grown up (Robert Duvall) and the president of Hardeman's Bethlehem Motors Corp. Presumably Duvall bears a grudge for that unseemly night so many years ago. That sounds plausible, except that you'd expect the subject might have been broached before this and that Duvall would no longer be working for his grandpa. Never mind. Remember, that movie ad didn't say the "most logical people are Harold Robbins people." Forced to go outside of his family for support, Hardeman Sr. turns to the race car-designer grandson of believe it or not-an old Mafioso pal. (Don't sell Robbins short. He doesn't miss a popular thematic trick. You can bet if he could rewrite "The Betsy" today, he'd find room for a character who has had a close encounter with a disco dancer.) THIS YOUNG race car designer ends up having an affair pardon mc, a number of affairs with, let me get this straight, the old man's big-breasted great-granddaughter and the old man's son's English mistress. Now, if you're thinking that if you caught me in private I might admit that "The Betsy" is a good trashy -movie, well, don't bet on it. I did enjoy last year's "The Other Side of Midnight," and it was a good trashy movie. Why? Because there was a joy-of-performing quality to it. By comparison, "The Betsy" characters take themselves too seriously. What might have improved this film is just one character, at some point in all the 'madness, standing up and screaming, "God, what a sick group of people!" 'Emanuelle in Bangkok' ONE OF THE surprise hits of 1974 was 'he lovely soft-core French skin flick "Emanuelle." Now the Loop Theater appears to be playing a sequel titled "Emanuelle in Bangkok." I say appears, because the film's end-title credits suggest that "Emanuelle in Bangkok" is merely an earlier rip-off sequel originally titled "Black Emanuelle." Regardless, this Italian production is far less artful than the original, although Its leading sex object (a long, leggy model-type named Laura Gesmcr) is as striking as any X-rated. actress. Gesmrr, herself an Oriental beauty, plays a New York newspaper reporter assigned to photograph Thailand's royal family. She ends up developing more sex skills than film. As a gentle soft-core film, "Emanuelle in Bangkok" offers more touching than intercourse. And its characters spend more time sightseeing the Orient than fooling around in bed. Gesmcr wears a beautiful wardrobe, too. 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