The Baltimore Sun from Baltimore, Maryland • 25

THE SUN, Tuesday, May 13, 1980 BS Havelock Ellis: His name has become a byword for a subject he failed her see her darling during her last days and someone told her that Lily had made fun of ber behind her back. She treasured every sacred keepsake associated with her friend, particularly her brooch, which Ellis was careful to see that she wore when she was cremated. She became addicted to spiritualism, convinced that Lily would communicate with her from the other world. For all his scientific detachment, Ellis sympathized Books By John Leonard New York Time Newt Servka HAVELOCK ELLIS. A Biography.

By Phyllis Grosskurth. Illustrated. 492 pages. Knopf. $16M.

About midway through this entertaining, caustic, exasperated and ultimately sympathetic biography, Phyllis Grosskurth is describing a difficult season in Havelock Ellis's only sanctified mar riage. He had married Edith Lees, a third-rate writer, a nervous wreck and a lesbian. Edith's affair with Claire "had cooled to a comradely friendship," but Lily, an artist, had become her "holy star." Of Ellis, we are told: "He totally accepted the situation, and even surrendered his Hawkes Point studio for intimate picnics; above all, he listened understandingly to Edith's raptures and eventually comforted her in her grief over Lily's sudden death from Bright's disease in June 1803. Edith was devastated by the loss, particularly as Lily's family would not let Irresistible to women, he panicked and palavered when they pressed the point of their passion. Innocent equally of politics and coitus, he missed the point of Hitler and resented his contemporary, Freud, whose theories about dreams and Oedipus he deemed nonsensical.

Oedipus, perhaps, is decisive. Miss Grosskurth, professor of English at the University of Toronto and the author of a well-regarded biography of John Addington Symonds, clearly Identifies Ellis's problem as "urolagnia." Urolagnia Is difficult to define in seemly terms. It means, more or less, one's sexual excitement on bearing witness to someone else's urination. According to Miss Grosskurth, Ellis's mother -otherwise a morbid Christian-on at least two occasions seduced him with what he would later call "a golden stream" and a "rainbow." His subsequent relations with women, and there were many, seem to have been confined to mutual masturbation and fervid letters afterward. He had, moreover, incestuous longings for his sister.

That his biographer should succeed in making us share her sympathy for him is a considerable accomplishment. His autobiography, "My Life," was evasive. His "Studies" were turgid. His "Dance of Life" had two left feet. And yet, In two respects, he was a he insisted on the sexual fulfillment of women, suspecting that they had a capacity superior to men for that fulfillment, and he wasn't at all bothered by "inversion," as he preferred to characterize homosexuality.

For Ellis, everything was hereditary. The only difference between the animal kingdom and the rest of us was fetishism, erotic symbolics. His "Science" amounted to not much more than magazine clippings and footnotes, His "Art" was bad Pater and bad Heine. He lacked Freud's daring and tragic sense; it is inmost as if he denied the existence of pathology la order to protect himself. He acquiesced in the disloyalty of others as if, like his father, he had always been a captain at sea during the domestic crisis, the heaves of libido.

He presumed that any old sexual arrangement, or any new one, was permissible and healthy because he sought to rationalize the mysterious, to tranquilize the anarchic. The entire underbelly of Nineteenth Century rationalism-blood and soil and power and greed escaped him. He was a Jealous socialist who understood neither socialism nor jealousy. And yet: He was kind. He was unbelieveably forbearing.

Edith wanted women; he forgave, Francoise wanted another man; he ultimately understood. Who knows what Margaret Sanger wanted? Miss Grosskurth makes it clear that birth control was never a major Item on Ellis's agenda be cause he was never in any danger of having to control it. The poet H.D. (Hilda Doolittle) and the novelist Bryher (Winifred Ellerman) had their own affair to prosecute. Ellis was merely a golden stream of benevolence.

He did his best to behave according to principles that were, for their time and place, liberated. Perhaps a revolution In sex could have come to England only in the books of a man who never completed his course in the subject, a Darwin who never made it to Galapagos. As he forgave the women in his life, Miss Grosskurth forgives him, and she is very good about it Freud, alas, was the Twentieth Century. with ber obsession and helped her with a selection of love poems for an anthology, The Lover's published in 1912." Reading such a passage, one inevitably wonders whether Havelock Ellis was a silly man. Tall and squeaky-voiced, self-educated, Impotent, bearded like a god and fact-minded like the Victorian shades-Darwin and Frazer with whom he compared himself, he was certainly a naif.

His many books on sex were written from the library and the questionnaire; he believed whatever be was told. We can't seem to keep in touch the way our mothers did In the beginning was the Book of Month Club you. You feel uneasy because you simply cannot find the time to let her know that. "There's a neighbor like that in my By Erma Bombeck "I felt sick when I remembered how many times she had sent cookies for the children or a card on our birthdays-and remembered how long it had been since I had found toe to call," she said. "I don't mean to be uncaring, but I act that way sometimes.

I am so terribly busy! I hardly have time for my work and my family, it seems I have no time for anything else She's not alone. Sometimes we can't woman By Niki Scott She is alone and lonely, and she lives two doors away. She is gracious, uncomplaining and a good neighbor. You care about her, want her to know she is not really alone in this world. But the weeks slip by and you simply cannot find time to call.

The months fly by and you haven't even time for a visit. She Is a good person-important to life," said a friend, recently. "I just learned she has been in the hospital for a week. Beware opponents' vigorous bid By Alfred Sheinwold South dealer Both sides vulnerable NORTH 4KQ98 0 7 3 2 072 find time for our extended families, either. We give to husbands and children but find no time left for mothers, siblings, grandparents and other assorted (important) relatives.

And we feel sad about that, wish it were different, but expect (hope) they will understand because they know we work, know how busy we are and must (surely) know we care. Maureen Gannon assumes her friends will understand. "They know I hve a crazy job, a husband and two kids, for heaven's sake! But I know some people don't understand; that they're hurt when they don't hear from me," she said. "My mother is one. My grandmother is another.

And my husband's mother is a third," she said. "I act like an uncaring person, at times. I'm really just a busy one. I seem callous, but I'm really just exhausted. "I feel guilty, in part because of the fine example my mother set.

She was never too busy to write a note to a sick friend or visit a lonely relative. She kept in touch, no matter how busy she was. "I was reared by a caring person-taught to be responsible, in a sense, for those around me. I don't live up to that example now, and I wonder how my mother did it." We can't keep in touch the way our mothers did. Our lives, schedules, priorities and customs have changed.

We can keep in touch, though. We'll look at some new ways to do that next time. A friend noticed all the reading material and was appalled to note I did not subscribe to local publications. Sunset magazine and Arizona Highways found their way to my coffee table with the three local newspapers. Another friend noted a "shallow, one-dimensional" look to my reading, so I added Time, Newsweek, the Saturday Review, Forbes and the New York Times to my library.

I read late and got up early, but on Sundays I rested. My reading schedule was becoming as complicated as a railroad schedule. One day in the checkout line at the supermarket, I saw a headline in the National Enquirer, "Jackie Finds Cure for Excessive Spending and Water Retention." Impulsively, I grabbed it, camouflaging it between the covers of Woman's Day and Family Circle. I was on the point of exhaustion. My eyes watered and I was too stimulated by what I read to sleep.

I watched only what TV Guide recommended. The tables and desks groaned under the load of books and magazines. They filled the closets and drawers. To save time I subscribed to Reader's Digest and Condensed Books. Last week, my husband said, "You have a Sunday visitor." I signed up for 36 issues for 152.

In the beginning I joined the Book-of-the-Month Club. I read a few pages each day at my leisure, usually finishing the book in a week. During the rest of the month and on Sundays, I rested. Then one day I noticed a book I wanted was in the Literary Guild, so I began getting two books a month which I finished in 10 or 12 days. During the remaining 2V4 weeks and on Sundays I rested.

As a contributor to Good Housekeeping, I could do no less than sub- At wit's end scribe to it. Naturally to keep abreast, I also subscribed to McCall's, Ladies Home Journal and Redbook. It took me a couple of weeks to read them from cover to cover, but the rest of the month and on Sundays I rested. With two weeks of leisure, I made plans to redo the house, which necessitated subscribing to House Beautiful and Better Homes and Gardens. My husband said what I really needed was something to spark up my meals, so I duly signed up for Gourmet and Bon Appetit.

I was now reading five days a week, but I rested on WEST 65 V9875 OK84 AJ96 EAST 4749 VKQJ632 OQ109 iiw clubs will be left; South can later afford to play the queen to set up the clubs. As the cards lie, dummy's seven of clubs would win; South could then lead the queen to drive out the ace. South ruffs the heart return, cashes the king of clubs, ruffs a club and gets back with the ace of diamonds to cash the last two clubs. Question: As dealer you hold: S-7 42 H-KQJ632 DQ 10 9 C-None What do you say? Answer: Bid three hearts except if vulnerable against non-vulnerable opponents. You can afford to i interfere with the enemy's bidding when you have six or seven pretty sure playing tricks.

When the opponents bid vigorously, watch out for unusual suit breaks. Lacking high cards, they may have singletons or voids. South took the ace of hearts, drew trumps and led a club from his hand. West played the six, and South optimistically put up dummy's queen. Trumps tricks West took the next club with the nine and led a heart to make South ruff.

West took a club with the jack and led a diamond to force out the ace. Now there were no further entries to the South hand. Down two. Cautious play would assure South's game. He should play dummy's seven of clubs on West's six.

If this loses, only two SOUTH AJ103 VA 0 A 5 K10S543 South West N'rfh 1 Pass 10 1 3v 3 4 All Pass Opening lead 9 East 47 When his voice finally changed Sunday school teacher?" he asks. "Reagan would at least act. Carter can't do anything." Does Wayne Newton ever worry about his star quality fading? "I don't really think it's a matter of worry as much as concern," he says. "Just look at the number of people who derive their Income directly from what it is I do. It's staggering." The question has already started fall-back investment possibilities clicking.

Mr. Newton is thinking about the casino he's building. "As of now, it's strictly a landlord-type arrangement. But that could change any day, any hour. And we won't back away from it if it does." His people are looking into more land, more financial deals.

All those people. "It's a tremendous responsibility. But I know I'm my own candy store," he reasons. "When I go down, it's just me. They'll move on to somebody else." Of course, there are no signs of anything like that happening in the near future.

CBS wants Mr. Newton for a miniseries on the life of Errol Flynn. Mr. Newton, who could pass for Rudolph Valentino's grandson, would play Flynn. But only if the script portrays the swashbuckler as "a great American hero, which he was and still is to many people." As for Flynn, the alleged Nazi spy and ravenous sexual beast, Mr.

Newton says, "That's not Errol Flynn. "And it's not me either." NEWTON, from Bl doing his time in the trenches you know what it's like trying to entertain drunks at 5 a.m.?"), Wayne's singing caught the attention of Bobby Darin, who threw him an angst-filled number called "Danke Schon" in 1963. The record sold a quarter-million copies. "It was a great feeling," Mr. Newton said, "to wake up one morning and have the No.

1 song. But then I found out that everyone thought I was a girl." His voice eventually changed, and around the same time his brother decided to pull out of the act and sell cars in Tennessee. On his own, Wayne Newton has crooned his way to prosperity. He lives with his wife and daughter in an antebellum Xanadu-Casa de Shenandoah-outside Las Vegas. There are peacocks, swans and deer wandering around the grounds and a dozen cars in various garages, one a 1929 Duesenberg that once belonged to his late boss, Howard Hughes.

He raises horses, flies planes, buys land and is building a casino. He leads, he says, a full life. Recently, Mr. Newton has gotten involved in politics. In three campaign concerts for Ronald Reagan he's raised over $1 million.

"Reagan," he feels, "is a sensitive and powerful man. The country needs someone like him in the White House." Should an actor be president? "Should a it 1, 4 jrJi "A I 1 it'- I a 'Times' h. A JL Li George Baumann Kevin Brown Frank Luber Erin Moriarty Don Scott Richard Sher Judy Womack AP Check the plumbing ELECTION '80: The Most Complete Live Location Coverage of the Maryland Primary. The pit crew checks the inside of the Mix Mix, sports a Chrome-Moly frame, disc Racing Team bathtub Sunday at the 14th brakes, aluminum wheels and a 175-cc. annual Southern Tech Bathtub Race, in motorcycle engine.

The average cost of Marietta, Ga. The tub, driven by Charlie souping up a bathtub is about $2,600. Blimp 1,476 pounds of rock and roll EYE13I7HISSS HE17S Tonight, 6-7 PM, Prime Time Reports, 11 PM Dallas (AP) -Blimp made its debut as a rock and roll band to the tune of 1,476 pounds. They hope they are headed for the small time. They really fill up the stage.

Lead guitarist Pat Rider weighs 325 pounds. Rhythm guitarist Cory Hubbard weighs 350, keyboardist Walt Newton 286, vocalist Toqy Cobra 235, and drummer Bryan Pitney 280. They were brought together by Dallas realtor Judy Drake and ber mother, Edie Lewis, who placed a newspaper add seeking overweight musicians. After reading that there are 80 million overweight Americans, the two women decided to evangelize about excessive weight via a band of fat musicians who would pledge to bring their weights down to normal limits within a year..