The Evening Sun from Baltimore, Maryland • 14

B2 THE EVENING SUN FRIDAY, MAY 23, 1986 In short Even a nobody can be worthy of press attention Bob Greene Hands across Baltimore most special woman in the world. You could never find a woman who loves her husband more than my wife loves me. And I never forget that." He said he knows that the media world seems to be increasingly dominated by celebrity journalism, whether it be in magazines, newspapers or on television. He said that he holds no illusions that he would fit into that lineup. "Why would a Lou Relle, an electrician, be in a high-society newspaper column?" he said.

"I've never had my name in the newspaper in my entire life. I told her not to worry that I didn't make the paper. To me, it's just another wonderful thing that she has tried to do for me. And that's enough." He said that he did give fleeting thought to what it would have been like to wake up in the morning, open the paper and see his name alongside those of all the international celebrities. "It would have been something really terrific," he said.

"It would have been an awfully big thrill. But it's OK that it didn't happen. My feelings weren't hurt." I don't know what the moral of all this is. There is a case to be made that it would, indeed, have been confusing to readers to find the name of Lou Relle next to all the instantly recognizable names. And as Lou put it, "My wife has been doing wonderful things for me for almost 30 years now.

It's enough for me just to know that she tried." That probably says it best. Except for one more thing. Mr. Relle? Happy birthday. Bob Greene is a syndicated columnist for the Chicago Tribune.

ARTIE RELLE HAS been married for 29 years to Lou Relle, who is an electrician. Lou was about to celebrate his 48th birthday, and Martie got an idea. Martie is a voracious reader of the newspapers. Among the things she reads every day are the gossip-and-entertainment-news columns the columns that report on the comings and goings of the world's celebrities. She had noticed something about those columns.

Often, near the end of the columns, there would be a list of the birthdays of famous people. She sometimes found herself thinking how that would really be something to be so well-known that even your birthday is of interest to the reading public. With her husband's birthday approaching, she got her idea. She would write a letter to one of the gossip-and-entertainment-news columns; she would explain all about her husband, and how special he was to her. She would say that she knew it was asking a lot but perhaps the column, in its birthday section, could mention that Lou Relle was turning 48.

She took great care in writing the letter. She mailed it, and before too many days had passed she received a letter back from the newspaper. "It was a very gracious note," Martie Relle said. "It explained that, because there were so many celebrities and important people whose birthdays had to be listed, there just wouldn't be room to mention Lou's birthday." Martie said that she really wasn't surprised. "Let's face it," she said, "Lou and I are nobodies.

You have to be a known celebrity to get into the paper you have to have a famous name in order for people to be interested in you. I can understand why Lou's name wouldn't qualify to be wished a happy birthday." I asked her to tell me some things about her husband. "Well, he may not be important to the world, but he's awfully important to me," she said. "We have had a long, wonderful marriage, and I have Lou to thank for that. He's an excellent husband, a good provider and a very good father.

He's just a great person. He's very smart. He's my best friend. "I think about what would have happened if Lou's birthday would have made the paper. Everyone would have seen it.

All of our friends, and all of our family. I know that his name wouldn't have meant anything special to all the people who would have seen it in the paper, but it would have been special for us. "This whole thing has made me think about what it might be like to have a well-known name, a name that everybody knows. But I never wish I was a celebrity. Celebrities are in the spotlight, and they make a lot of money, and they have their promoters to keep their names before the public.

I really enjoy my life just the way it is." She finally told her husband about the attempt she had made to get his birthday in the paper. "He just laughed in a nice way and told me that it was a sweet thing for me to have tried," she said. I spoke with Lou Relle and asked him what he had thought of his wife's gesture. "She is the greatest," he said. "If you ask anyone I know, they'll tell you that I'm always saying she's the The route across the Baltimore area Hands needed outside city: if you want to join Hands Across America this Sunday, you might consider avoiding Baltimore and heading instead to Frederick or Elkton, says, a state official of the charity event in which six to 10 million Americans will link hands coast to coast for 15 minutes.

"We have more than enough people pledged for the city. What we really need are more participants in the areas around Frederick and Elkton. That's where we're lightest," says Dave Fallon, a volunteer for the Maryland branch of the massive project that national organizers hope will raise $100 million for America's hungry and homeless. About 205,000 hand-holders will be needed to form a human chain across 156 miles of Maryland terrain, stretching from the state line near northern Delaware, down through Baltimore to Washington, up into Rockville and Frederick, and finally over the Pennsylvania line. Fallon says 70,000 people have pledged $10, $25 or $35 to take part in the 3 p.m.

event that some wags have dubbed "palm Sunday." "Even if people haven't pledged formally, they can show up on Sunday and take part," says Fallon. "They'll be given envelopes that they can send back wi contributions, if they wish." It is expected that jme portions of the country, especially the sweltering and sparsely populated Southwest, will lack participants. In those areas, people will be stationed about one-tenth of a mile apart and be joined by a red and white rope. Fallon says the rope will probably be Esquire's hefty all-about-men issue is a good idea that doesn't work A Special i lit km In Pkur By Michael Wentzel Evening Sun Staff HOW ABOUT AN ENTIRE issue of a magazine about men boys growing up to become men, men and their toys, men and their fears and dreams, men and their mistakes? How about Jimmy Carter writing about tools and Red Auer-bach on cigars? Or Roger Kahn on Willie Mays, William Broyles Jr. on the Marines and Allen Ginsberg on American outlaws? Billy Joel could sing about Frank Sinatra and Norman Mailer could sing about Norman Mailer.

Tremendous idea. With Esquire, the idea almost always sounds great. What Esquire delivers is another matter. The June issue of Esquire ($2.95) is dedicated to the American male. "This issue is a memoir in words and pictures of an experience that began with the close of World War II and lasted until at least this morning's sunrise," writes Lee Eisenberg, Esquire's editor.

"It is a record of the postwar American man. It affirms, for The. American Man used in certain sections of Maryland. Local participants should arrive for the event at 2 p.m. to stake their positions and rehearse the three numbers that will be sung during the 15-minute period "Hands Across America," "America the Beautiful" and "We Are the World," the theme of USA for Africa, the corporation that has raised funds to feed starving Africans and conceived the l) 1(-H)8( Magazine rack 4l i Growing Up Male: The Way Was better or worse, what has proved timeless about him.

And it reflects, for better or worse, not a few of the dramatic changes that have refigured him." But the June issue delivers very little on Eisenberg's assertion. If this Esquire proves anything, it is that the American male has a short attention span and may not like to read. Most of the articles are short, startingly short. As an idea crystallizes, Esquire suddenly calls a halt. In some cases, the photographs or graphics and the headlines occupy more space than the printed words.

The brisk, tight writing can work John Ed Bradley on his first jock strap, for example but, in too many instances, these so-called articles or essays on aspects of American maleness are nothing more than outlines for a picture. The longer essays have the most to offer. Richard Ben Cramer provides a supercharged portrait of Ted Williams, perhaps the best hitter ever in baseball, who still lives life his own way. Author James Salter creates a memoir of a love affair he wishes he would have consummated. On the side of excess, Esquire interviews Norman Mailer and allows a dialogue between authors Ken Kesey and Robert Stone that may have taken place on another planet.

The publishers of this Esquire most likely are quite proud of the June issue the avalanche of slick, colorful advertising in this 354-page magazine virtually buries the editorial product. In some sections, it is difficult to differentiate between ad and editorial copy. Perhaps that is what has happened to the American male: He prefers pictures and graphics to words and ideas. Hands idea. Members of local fire departments and the American Red Cross will be on hand to provide water, first aid and emergency assistance as needed.

Barred in Baltimore: Sir Peter Hall, director of the British National Theater, said yesterday in London that the international Theater of Nations scheduled June 15-29 in Baltimore has barred the company's production of George Orwell's "Animal Farm." "The International Theater Institute is apparently afraid to present a political satire as part of an international festival," Hall said. "This seems to me extraordinarily craven. The work is a famous classic." He said the British company would perform outside festival auspices in the Morris A. Mechanic Theater in Baltimore. John Goodwin, National Theater press officer, said the ban was apparently imposed on grounds that the play might upset some Communist countries participating in the biennial festival.

Among the 14 countries taking part are Bulgaria, Czechoslovakia, Hungary and Poland. BRIEFLY: Actor Danny Kaye, who has traveled the world for more than three decades on behalf of sick and needy children, has received a National Fellowship Award from the Philadelphia Fellowship Commission, which claims to be the oldest human rights agency in the nation Kim Novak, who starred in more than two dozen major motion pictures, makes her debut next fall as a regular in a television series, on CBS' "Falcon Crest" Sinus trouble forced country humorist Minnie Pearl to miss this week's cross-state train trip celebrating Tennessee's heritage Robert Mitchum, who originated the role of Pug Henry on film in Herman Wouk's "The Winds of War," will again play the U.S. Navy officer in Wouk's sequel "War and Remembrance," the ABC Television Network announced yesterday. From staff and wire reports In the May 29 issue of The New York Review of Books Alfred Kazin, author and observer of American literature, provides a wonderful essay on the culture of Washington as a place of history and power The effects of foreign surroundings on a political conservative are revealed in the June issue of The American Spectator ($1.75) in Tom Bethell's account of a visit to Russia and David Evanier's report on a party for readers of The Nation, a journal of a different political bent David Haward Bain analyzes the fall of Marcos in Manila and the role of the press in the May June issue of The Columbia Journalism Review ($2.50) The summer issue of National Geographic's Traveler ($4.85) makes splendid visits to Ireland, the Monterey Peninsula, New Hampshire's White Mountains and Olympic National Park The May June issue of Common Cause offers an informative look at the ways the American sugar industry keeps the price of sugar high with the help of Congress. Best sellers FICTION 1 A Perfect Spy, by John le Carre.

(Knopf, $18.95.) 2. I'll Take Manhattan, by Judith Krantz. (Crown, $18.95.) 3. The Bourne Supremacy, by Robert Ludlum. (Random House, $19.95.) 4.

Lake Wobegon Days, by Garrison Keillor. (Viking, $17.95.) 5. The Mammoth Hunters, by Jean M. Auel. (Crown, $19.95.) 6.

Break In, by Dick Francis. (Putnam, $17.95.) 7. Lie Down with Lions, by Ken Follett. (Morrow, $18.95.) 8. The Book of Abraham, by Marek Halter.

(Holt, $19.95.) 9. The Good Mother, by Sue Miller. (Harper Row, $17.95.) 10. The Handmaid's Tate, by Margaret Atwood. (Houghton Mifflin, $16.95.) 1 1 Home Front, by Patti Davis with Maureen Strange Foster.

(Crown, $15.95.) 12. High Hearts, BY Rita Mae Brown. (Bantam, $17.95.) 13. Joanna's Husband and David's Wife, by Elizabeth Forsythe Hailey. (Delacorte, $17.95.) 14.

Seasons of the Heart, by Cynthia Freeman. (Putnam, $17.95.) 15. Lonesome Dove, by Larry McMurty. (Simon Schuster, $18.95.) NON-FICTION 1 The Triumph of Politics, by David A. Stockman.

(Harper Row, $21.95.) 2. You're Only Old Once, by Dr. Seuss. (Random House, $9.95.) 3. Fatherhood, by Bill Cosby.

(Dolphin-Doubleday, $14.95.) 4. When All You've Ever Wanted Isn't Enough, by Harold S. Kushner. (Summit, $16.95.) 5. Bus 9 to Paradise, by Leo Buscaglia.

(Slack-Morrow, $16.95.) 6. Enter Talking, by Joan Rivers with Richard Meryman. (Delacorte, $17.95.) 7. Necessary Losses, by Judith Viorst. (Simon Schuster, $17.95.) 8.

Bess W. Truman, by Margaret Truman. (Macmilian, $19.95.) 9. The Man Who Mistook His Wife for a Hat, by Oliver Sacks. (Summit, $15.95.) 10.

lacocca: An Autobiography, By Lee lacocca with William Novak. (Bantam, $19.95.) 1 1 Adrift, by Steven Callahan. (Houghton Mifflin, $15.95.) 12. Blessings in Disguise, by Alec Guinness. (Knopf, $17.95.) 13.

Yeager: An Autobiography, by Chuck Yeager and Leo Janos. (Bantam, $17.95.) 14. The Great Getty, by Robert Lenzner. (Crown, $18.95.) 15. Greed and Glory on Wall Street, by Ken Auletta.

(Random House, $19.95.) ADVICE, HOW-TO, MISCELLANEOUS 1 Fit for Life, by Harvey Diamond and Marilyn Diamond. (Warner, $17.50) 2. Callanetics, by Calian Pinckney with Sallie Batson. (Morrow, $17.95.) 3. Women Who Love Too Much, by Robin Norwood.

(Tarcher-St. Martin's, $14.95.) 4. The Be (Happy) Attitudes, by Robert Schuller. (Word, $12.95.) 5. The Rice Diet Report, by Judy Moscovitz.

(Putnam, $16.95.) New York Times Zork books put the reader in the action Other worlds you don't just read Zork books, you participate. Every couple of pages or so the characters will come to a crisis, a branching off point, and it is the reader who decides which course they choose I Town CrierMay 23-24 TONIGHT: The Cloisters Children's Museum of Baltimore will host its annual "Spring Preschool Party" at 1 p.m. There will be games, refreshments and clowns. Free museum admission. Suggested for children aged 3 to 5.

Call 823-2550. SHOWTIMES TONIGHT: Mechanic Theatre: Dark. Call 625-1400. Center Stage: Dark. Call 332-0033.

Lyric: "La Cage Aux Folles," 8 p.m. Call 685-5086. If Meyerhoff: Mihaly Virizlay, cellist, and BSO, 8:15 p.m. Call 837-5691. Merriweather Post Pavilion: Dark.

(Robert PalmerBelinda Carlisle concert 7:30 p.m. tomorrow.) Call 730-2424. TOMORROW: The Beth Jacob Sisterhood will sponsor its annual "Sisterhood Sabbath," beginning at 8:45 a.m. at 5713 Park Heights Ave. Sisterhood members will present "The Jewish Woman: Her Place, Role and Destiny." Call 678-8129.

COMING UP: The Baltimore City Health great literature: They average about 110 pages and are light in the long, descriptive tracts that readers of Tolkein's "Lord of the Rings" might enjoy. In truth, their audience seems to be that nebulous "young adults" group; a category that seems to include just about everyone of "school age." Each book is easy to read, fast-paced, and illustrated with a dozen or so black and white inkings. The hero and heroine appear to be of junior high school age. Most of the action takes place while they are either en route from school or on summer vacation. There are several other series of "What-Do-I-Do-Now" books on the market, nowadays, including a series for younger children recounting some of the classic Disney cartoon features.

These versions seem to reward the good civic virtues of sharing and cooperation and being friendly to people. And none of the choices is particularly fatal. Zork books, however, don't pull punches. Make the wrong choice and your characters could find themselves enslaved, devoured, drowned or wandering aimlessly in the dark for the rest of their natural lives. And if the choices in Zork land were designed to instruct, the lesson was too subtle for me.

This may be an awesome responsibility for a young adult making decisions that could save or destroy but it certainly heightens the suspense. For older folk', too. By Wiley Hall 3rd Evening Sun Staff OK. IF YOU'RE SO smart, what would you do in this situation? You're walking down the street with a friend and you see something shiny gleaming from under a bush. You look closer and discover it is an ancient sword, glowing as if from some magical inner power.

As you reach for it, your friend says, "Don't touch it, it might be dangerous!" So, what do you do? Do you nod and continue on your way, or do you pick it up, swing it above your head and chant whatever magic words pop into your head? If you choose the former, you and your friend go home and spend a boring evening watching television. If you choose the latter, you might find yourself in the land of Zork, with a magic sword in hand and a breathless quest to save the kingdom. "The Forces of Krill" is a Zork book; and a Zork book is what "they" thought of, the last time you said, "What will they think of next?" You see, you don't just read Zork books, you participate. Every couple of pages or so the characters will come to a crisis, a branching off point, and it is the reader who decides which course they choose. Choose correctly and the kingdom is saved.

Make the wrong choice and the heroes end up as monster bait. Let me give you another example: You're tyi your quest, groping through an underground tunnel, when out leaps an ug- ly troll, brandishing a battle ax. Your magic sword begins to glow and hum as if with excitement, and you find yourself squaring off for a fight. Your friend, though, warns, "Let's run the other way, you'll get killed if you fight that thing!" Do you fight or choose the prudent course? I won't spoil the suspense, other than to note that if you choose one course, your story will end shortly afterward with the words, "The rest is too gruesome to describe." Zork books are written by S. Eric Mer-etzsky and published by Tor Books.

There are three of them: "The Forces of Krill," "The Malifestro Quest" and "The Caverns of Doom." These books won't be mistaken for Department will sponsor six rabies clinics on Sunday from 1 to 4 p.m. The sites are: Patterson Senior High School; Maryland National Bank, 5655 The Alameda; Equitable Trust Bank, North Avenue and Charles Street; Erdman Avenue Shopping Center; Broadway Shopping Center, and Gardenville Shopping Center. Fee: $4. Call 396-4357.