Cumberland Evening Times from Cumberland, Maryland on November 23, 1955 · Page 12
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Cumberland Evening Times from Cumberland, Maryland · Page 12

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Cumberland, Maryland
Issue Date:
Wednesday, November 23, 1955
Page:
Page 12
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TWELVE EVENING TIMES, CUMBERLAND. MD., WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 23, 1955 PA-2-4600 lor: • WANT AD Ttkw Mkry MaworthVMail • W . t • •. Editor'* Nole: Mother of three children fccl» disturbed when other , tot appropriates their toys DEAR : MARY " HAWORTH: > have three children under years of age. I often, wonder if m child rearing philosophy is wron and would like your opinion. I make time for my children 1 having occasional help with clea; ing 'and ironing when things pi up. In keeping an eye on the elde: child's play, I sometimes observ situations 'that need adult supe vision—for the sake of; ; my chil and other children involved. But find that certain other adults (wh should be concerned) take a rathe belligerent attitude when I ap proach the . subject in V a quiei friendly way. .. . ' ; For example, a young, divorce mother has returned to her "par • ents'.: home in • the neighborhood bringing her children. She has tak . en a job and ieaves the children b her mother's care—which is wrong I think. Doing without .a father, is hab oh a child; and what kind of moth er goes'back to her parents to a girl again—handing her responsi bilities to them because'she" has failed? Jf it were-hie,' I wbiik brave it-out .'... • ''. .'";.".'" The divorcee's son—I'll.call-him Rexr-has..been taking ;my, son': toys from time to time—with • ho correction from the grandmother Once I, went to retrieve 'a; toy /but, seeing it would cause trouble with the grandmother, I let him keep it. However, my":son as at. an .impressionable age, -and he sees- Rex upheld by the grandmother in taking what doesn't belong to him And as'you know, children are influenced by example . . .' The other day Rex 1 took 'another toy, and I told my son to fetch it home when Rex was through playing with it. But Rex ran crying: to his grandmother, saying the toy was his. Whereupon she.yelled derogatory remarks 1 about the toy, while also saying "Give it back " As she;was out of sight, he didn't obey... Later.:! asked Rex nicely, in his grandmother's hearing, to return the toy; and again she tiraded about,, "the,ugly nasty rusty 'old thing; you wouldn't want it any• way"—and finally, he brought it to us, still crying that it was his. I called rout nicely. to : the grandmother to say that I was trying to 'teach both boys Tight from wrong- but she turned on her s\veeper full blast; drovyning my voice. I 1 felt badly, leaving her mad;about.'it, • Should-! try to stick to principle?. Or is it better -to ignore- these things?. In a situation like this, when I make ah enemy without wanting to, I am;,distressed, and' - wonder if I am,wrong. tlease advise. ^—R,w. ; . -, '••":...:• •.-.-•' .•':; v DEAR •: R.W. : :: Your, neighbor — Mrs.; X, let's call her—the : grandmother who repels your coopera- . tive overtures — is ; a problem to herself, a victim of invincible ignorance; it seems. Her highly emotional, illogical handling of her grandson — which permits him to grow/up without .habits of rectitude, and without a cleancut sense of property rights and respect for same—probably is a flashback to the way she reared her daughter. Which probably accounts for the daughter's failure in marriage, and/or her irresponsible relapse.'.back into the parents', keeping—giving them .her children to care for. It appears that a family pattern of invincible ignorance is being handed down from one generation to the next, breeding trouble throughout—the latest victim being young Rex. However, you are a bit of a problem to yourself 'too, in relation to the problem they present. Your theory. is correct, that child- ren'should'be drilled in honest considerate behavior at play—and that this is a parent's or guardian's duty. But where you go wrong is in your attempts to sell your ideas to Mrs. X. My advice is, act upon your principles; don't be either evangelical or apologetic. In going after your child's toys, .akeh by. Rex, .and in addressing your appeal, indirectly, to Mrs. X, your manner is a blend of self- righteousness and coaxing concil- ation. This is a mistake. It/'personalizes" the matter, making it a "rub," so to speak, between two leaseholds. And Mrs. X reacts in- oluntarily with hostile defensive- iess, feeling guilty without recog- lizing it. . • •• ' . You should supervise your child- en's play with other children, and act immediately .to support 'fair ules, without appealing " to . .the leighborhood elders, if misbehav- or comes.to your attention. If cer- ain children are troublemakers, ope ' .'quietly _ to safeguard your ights—and don't talk about it. Remember the proverb: "He .who ries to please everybody; doesn't lease anybody." — M H. .Mary- Haworth' counsels through her column, not by.mail, or personal interview. Write to her in care-of The Evening Times (King Features-Syndicate) Christmas Seal Returns Show $3,181 Received In Week's Time The returns in the Christmas seal campaign have reached $3,181.95, according to Glenn K. Davis, chairman of the seal campaign. ; Davis -said the association ieels the response to date has been good, since the Seal letters were mailed only a r week before. • The returns were the first reported from the 38,941 Christmas Seal letters sent to residents'of Allegany and,Garrclt Counties. Included among , the early returns was $2,283.70 from Cumberland and the county, $336.50 from Frostburg, $186.50 from -Westernport and $375.25 .from Garrett County. For its 1955 Seal sale,, which finances -the work of the association in Western Maryland, the associa tion mailed 26,558 letter^ to Cum berland 'and : , : Allegan'y- County- ex-' elusive of Frostburg. and Western; port, 2,235 to residents of Westernport, 4,611 to Frostburg,.citizens and. 5,307/to residents .of Garrett, County;. '•. '• •'••• - : - ••;. : • ''•''. 'f •.-'•'. • Da vis said the association; .this year/sent about 1,200 fewer letters lh«m were mailed last year, as a result of a major effort to- avoid duplication' W• names.-'-; • • r ;£';' He warned, however, there may still 'be -some .'duplications; ; -in spite of the careful cross checking made during.the summer. /; '•' ' Those" who received^ more?than one ; Seal•'letter, 'he .said,: will;do the', association: a' big favor 'if, they will cut off the labels from duplicate letters and enclose them with their'returns; '• ^.-iVV^'^v- '."-'• He said the association does not expect anyone to pay for additional seals sent by mistake. i i ..-.-'••-... ''. Bicycle experts .estimateo there are 23 million people/usingBicycles- in the United Statesl..;^ '.'.I More than 22,000 vessels a yeif go through the.. Sault. Ste. Marie locks on the "Great Lake? every year. 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