The Post-Standard from Syracuse, New York • Page 10

10 THE POST-STANDARD, Syracuse, N. Monday, September 2, 1957 How to Get and Keep a Husband (Concluded from Faye 1) try and raised oranges and bees? certainly could have fed you." I reminded her. Her frown turned into a real laugh. "Oh, no, not that--not that'" "Well. I retorted, "what are you looking for?" That was difficult for her to answer.

"I don't know," she replied after a moment. "I really, honestly don't know." I What did I have in common with their busy, meaningful lives? They (wouldn't have hurt me intentionally for anything, but they could not avoid impressing me with the fact that really, after all, I did not belong. How humiliating- to be told when seeking- credit at a store, "You have a maximum of $200!" When I had a husband the sky was the limit. Can I ever forget the embarrassment of being turned away at the door of a supper club because we, my friend and were two women without a man! Many times for lack of a man I had' to miss dances, cruises and other parties. I KNEW WHAT SHE was looking for--what far too many American women are looking for in a man.

Now don't shout back at me that I'm wrong and prejudiced. I'm not. I'm on the woman's side. But believe that our women should face certain facts about themselves. A great many are looking for a man with money, f.rst; pies- apartment is a TMreai second; looks, third; love-well, last and maybe not at all if to happy marriage that i A THE HURDLE OF BEHAVIOR was the most formidable of all.

I discovered that suspicion and criticism are waiting everywhere to cast the shadow of ill repute over the single woman. One of my friends once said, "The single woman with an apartment is a threat to our moral standards. She is a danger tige, money comes along without love. Miss was looking for a man with money first and maybe love second. She was paying for her attitude with the same lonely existence that I endured until I found the formula that brought me a happy, successful marriage.

Some fine women give an Impression that they do not care for marriage. They evidently live by the theory that by travel- Ing alone in their own way they can arrive more quickly at their destinations of success and happiness. But their number is an insignificant minority compared to the masses of women who yearn for their natural roles of wife, mother and homemaker. I was continually harrassed and embarrassed by the disadvantages of being without a husband. Many times the only single woman- present, I lingered with we must defend ourselves against." How true! The burden of solution rests as much with the married woman as with the single one.

For her own well-being, the woman with a husband should do everything in her power not only to hold her man but to help her single sisters find husbands of their own. After much thought, personal experience and research into the single woman's problem, I see these unsatisfied desires: Motherhood. Sexual completeness and emotional release. Co-operative companionship. Acceptance within a social orbit of some kind.

More financial independence. A feeling- of being needed and wanted. Stability of life pattern. Those are the things a single woman misses. Now let her re- fcunifv ties "and love.

the capacity to receive it. It is easy to find love; holding it is the I was just another working girl with an apartment and a job. difficult task. The woman equipped to handle happiness is far more likely to attract it and keep it. Our abilities and capacities if properly used have a way like magnets of drawing us into compatible associations.

The single woman should strive for the following: 1. A capacity to receive happiness. 2. Balanced by ability to give happiness. 3.

Sparked by willingness to give happiness. These are the three parts to a formula which the single woman can employ apart from outside conditions and circumstances. Look upon' your loneliness as precious solitude. Use this treasure of time to put into effect a piogrum that will prepare you for marriage. And bring your dreams down to reality! There is no such thing as "ideal" in choosing a mate.

When a woman sets up a list of requirements beyond basic compatabihty she is doomed either to single loneliness or married unhappiness. If she carries in her mind a hard-snd-fast idea of what she wants and thinks she deserves in a man, she probably will fail to find him. IF REASONABLY SURE she is marrying a man of good character, stability, and industriousness, a woman can divide all hei expectations by half. She should be glad if 50 per cent of them materialize. If more of our women would see the fallacy of holding out for Mr.

Just Right--the man with the nice bank balance, movie- star looks, plenty of lovemaking and social position--and put good character, compatibility and industriousness at the top of the requirement list, thousands of our ladies on the sidelines could find happy marriage possible. (From "How to Get and Keep Husband." published by Dorrance Co Philadelphia. Distributed by Mirror-Eni erprises Syndicate, Los Angeles, Calif) Tomorrow: Kate Constance describes the attributes in a woman which make her desirrble to man, in an installment titled U'omen Men Prefer--and Marry). Are You Really 'Qualified 1 to Many? By KATE CONSTANCE (Copyright 1957, Dorrance Philadelphia) Are you really ready for marriage? Ask yourself these questions and answer completely frankly: 1. Are you reasonably unselfish and considerate, sympathetic and kind? 2.

Are you willing to assume responsibility and some work? 3. Are you free of serious complexes, phobias and neuroses? 4. Do jou have a deep desire to give happiness, service and love, to give more than you get? 5. Can you inspire a man's highest ambitions and emphasize his better qualities to bring out the best in him' 6. Do you value a man for what he is, not for what he possesses in wealth, good IOOKS and prestige? 7.

Are you a good sport, willing to take hard knocks and losses with him? 8. Do you have an enthusiasm for life and the small daily 3oys of living' 9. Do you have a yearning to establish a home, and not just have a husband to pay your expenses through life? 10. Do you adhere to a high standard of behavior? Score yourself ten points for each "Yes" answer. A score of indicates that you are completely ready for marriage, with good prospects of lasting happiness.

A score of indicates grounds for improvement--and make it now rather than waiting until after the ceremony. If your score is less than 60 you should sit down and taku a long, hard look at yourself and your prospects for the future. Dear Abigail Von Buren The Family Council Criticism of Boy's Father Would Be Out of Place THERESA father doesn't trust him. MRS. R.

something wrong with that man. THERESA am 16 ana I have a boy friend a year older Our problem is Kenny's father, who is much too strict with him. My own parents like Kenny and have no objection to my going him, but Kenny's father doesn't think he ought to be going steady at all. Kenny and I go out once or, at most, twice a week. We like to talk on the telephone every day, but he has to sneak out to call me We always come home at a reasonable hour and we aren't wild like some kids.

We are both planning to go to college, so we don't talk about engagement or mainage. Just the same, Kenny's father seems to think that he's going to get ideas about marriage if he fceeps seeing me. When we go out, he calls my home--sometimes twice in an evening--to see if -we are back yet. How can we make him trust Kenny? MRS. R.

would like to talk to Kenny's father to straighten him out a bit, but my husband says it wouldn't be a good idea for me to "mix in." I don't see how my talking to him can be considered interference. After all, I am just as concerned about my daughter as he is about his son. I feel there is really something wrong with this man, psychologically. Surely he wants his boy to enjoy a normal life for a 17-year-cld. The kids are as nice and well- behaved together as anyone could possibly ask.

Kenny is a lovely boy and we don't worry about Terry when she is out -with him. My husband says it would look as though we are pushing the kids together if I spoke up for them. Nothing could be further from my mind. THE COUNCIL: Mrs. R.

S. ought to listen to her husband. He is right that her interference would be interpreted as an attempt to "push the kids together." DEFINITELY FALL Emme's "Pavane" millinery collection, designed by Adolfo for fall 1957, is a head-hugging Spanish Jester's Cap, left, that juts to a peak in back. It comes in crystal rose velour. At right, Frances Nelkin designs her "Cuddle Cap" for Amy Hats ir black satin.

An irregular, looped border nestles among the waves to become one with the coiffure. A fine veil coifs the head. Both at C. E. Chappell and Sons.

DEAR ABBY: I sure wish my father could i DEAR ABBY: After re-iding your answer have afforded to go to school and become a judge, "Brakeman's Wife" I wonder what your answer in a court room because that is what he thinks 'would be to me? I also am married to a isilroad man and I do Have You Heard? Every night we hold co.irt at the dinner have to wonder about my husband My father is the judge and all us kids bring up is away because I know he has women in our complaints against each other. towns he stops at. I just warn the lipstick hammer and he sure out of his shirts and hankies, and keep my mouth I'Ourm R. AND MRS. GEORGE F.

McINTOSH Lakeview Fayetteville, will return today after spending the weekend at He bought hmself a and 5 we ar? we stop it? takes tired FOUR ABUSED KIDS With them for the holiday weekend were Mr. and Harold Whitbeck of lt'5 Searhvyn Rd and Mis. Mclntosh's sisters, Show me a railroad man and I will show you Miss Norene Wager and Miss EsteUe Wage, both of Troy. a two-timing fool. RAILROAD MAN WIFE DEAR ABUSED: "Meatinff" out justice at the 1 DEAR WIFE: Don't judge the whole orchard Returning last night from Cragsmere, Lansdowne, Ont, were Mr.

and Mrs Walte-- W. Nicholson Jr of 526 Cumberland Ave. Joining them for thoir weekend stay were Miss Emily Smythe of diner table may be food for thought, but it's not by one lemon. very good for the digestion. Settle your differ-j ences among ourselves, Kids, and you'll harel DEAR ABBY: I have a niece who made a'George Stanley of Poughkeepsie.

fewer "trials." mistake when she was IS. You understand, what i 1 mean'' DEAR ABBY- I work a place of business as Now she is 18 and this same fellow ihe made a receptionist and have a nice boss Here is my, the mistake with wants to marry her but she has; recently rncd after spending the summer at Camp Dudley problem. I am a high schorl graduate but I am her eye on another fellow at work. Do you think on Ln champlam still young she should marry the fello'v she made the mistake Good Taste Fee! Out 1 rsp By EMttT POST Dear Mrs. Post: My parents re shments.

Mrs. S. is wrong to assume here is "something wrong" with Penny's father and that he needs to be "straightened out." The mere fact that he has raised such fine young man is an indication that he knows how to do a good job as a father. Because of his deeper knowl-j dge of Kenny or because some personal or family ence, he may have very good' reason to oppose the boy's steady dating. He has as much right to position as Mrs R.

S. has to If he ir, wrong, or if his tudes need to be modified, the, Jroblem should be wrestled outi within his own family circle. Mrs. R. S.

would do better to' encourage her daughter to data other boys. It is understandable that she likes Terry to date a boy she already knows and approves, but it is highly probably Terry will find other nice boys. NOTE: The Family Council consists of a judge, a psychiatrist, three clergymen, a newspaper editor, a women's editor and two writers Each article is a summary of an actual case history. The council reports on problems that have been, dealt -with by responsible a i and counselors. Article by 'Button Lady' Appears in 3 Magazines Mrs Hattie B.

Shortt of 508 Rowland St has an article on how to amuse children with buttons appearing "Parents," "Red- how to keep youngsters occupied by stringing buttons, making dolls out of buttons and pipe cleaners and making faces with buttons and clay balls. book" and "Today's a magazines. "But 0 far, I haven't made i Mrs. Shortt's granddaughter, Co- "Confidsntial," laughingly i tte Van Siaars of Long Island, adds. The full-page story suggests With the article is a picture of who learned to amuse herself by the hour with the granny's button collection.

Mrs. Shortt has been collecting buttons and hat pins ever since she was a child For many years she's been president of the Syracuse Button Club. Post 41 Convenes Mrs. Edward Pulling of 302 Broad St. will be hostess at 8 rn.

tomorrow in the executive committee of Post 41, American Legion Auxiliary. Mrs. Charles O'Donnell will preside. The group plans to have their The engagement of Miss Elsis first fall meeting at 8 pm. Sept Barb n0i to William D.

Epo- 10, the American Legion lltOi son of Mr. and Mrs James rooms. Mrs. Louise Afeltra hasi Epolito of 103 Westview is Couple to Wed charge of a musical program. The year's programs be announced by her parents, Mr.

ant' Mrs John Barbino of 220 Clinton, Mr. and Airs Stanley Bond Beacon, and Mr. and Mrs.ii lve in a jty 500 miles from I here and because of the dis- Mr and i W. Hawley Scott Jr and family. Hawley lll.jfsnce and the expense involved Henry and Amy, will the end of this week fiom 308 WesKale oni et to see ir new home.

210 Lansdowne Rd DeWitt. Hawlev Scott) Very soon a neighbor of ours and her husband are planning to drive to mother's home town thejr discussed and committee reports Furman St given. Invited to attend the meet- The prospechve bnde is a ing are wives widows. or uate of Collegio sister veterans of World War I and II Canossiane of Venice. Italy, and Mrs.

George Butler will serve re-' ernp i 0 by Syracuse-Terrazzo Tile Co. Mr. Epolito, an alumnus of The Alaska RaDroad stream-Nottingham High School, attended liner train makes two stops be-i Syracuse University, and is presi- tween Anchorage and Fairbanks'dent of Roofmaster, Inc. to allow amateur photographers' A wedding is planned for lats to get special views. fall.

The boss thinks I dress too much like a high, with or should she marry this other fellow she! Miss Molly Fudge, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Russell G. Fudge.jto visit relatives of their own. school girl and he would like to have me looki has her eje on? AUNTIE JEN of Chittenango Manlius, will leave Thursday to spend at leastil was thinking of asking them more sophisticated and wear high heels.

I am neat DEAR AUNTIE: What did she do with year in Stockholm, Sweden. She will work and study as I might go along with them and well groomed but do you think a receptionist! mistake? If you want to help your niece, the Wenner-Gren Institute for Experimental I to visit my parents. has to be dressed fit to kill every day? LORI DEAR LORI: Accept the boss' suggestion- you like your job, that is. I her to slow down and marry neither until she is -if sure it will be for keeps. you have a problem, write Abigail Van Buren CONFIDENTIAL TO SAM: If you care of this paper.

She it ill be glaJ to answer your For a personal reply, please enclose a stamped envelope. STAND for something, you will fall for ANT-' letter. THING. What do yon expect? PADDLE PUSHERS Terrycloth slippers are wonderful for padding around the house, and easy to keep clean, too. Just toss them into your dryer when they become soiled, and allow to dry completely.

Couple Wed in Double Ring Church Ceremony CLIP THIS AD SEPTEMBER SPECIAL Sept. 3, $10 Permanent for Only Nationally Known Cold Wave Mr. and Mrs Kermit Lincoln Breed are living in Fabius after a wedding trip to Niagara Falls and through the south to Tennessee. Mrs. Breed is the former Carlene Florence Chase, daughter of Mr.

and Mrs. Paul Chase of Fabius. Her husband is the son of Mrs Marion M. Breed of Delphi Falls. The couple was married Saturday, Aug.

10 at a double ring ceremony performed in the Fa- Included Jjbius Baptist Church by the Rev. Francis Docrchug. A reception followed in the church parlors. Mr. Chase gave his daughter in marriage.

Mrs. Donald Wil- 209 UNIVERSITY BLDG. of Fabius, was her sister's PHONE HA 2-5609, 'matron of honor; Miss Marilyn WITH THIS AD OF TflE WHAT'S EVERYONE WHISPERING ABOUT? STEWART KNOWS! DATE Chase, another sister; Mrs Floyd Newton of DeRuyter, and Mrs Robert McCullough of Cazenovia, sisters of the bridegroom, were bridesmaids. Donnileah Wilmot and Mary Chase were flower girls for their aunt. Charles Breed of Chittenango, was best man for his brother.

Ushers were Donald Wilmot, brother-in-law of the bride, Donald and Carlton brothers of the bride. Mr. and Mrs. Breed are graduates of Fabius Central School Mrs. Breed is employed by the Biology.

Miss Fudge was graduated in June from Mt. Holyoke College. Mr. and Mrs. Jack Sloane and children, Gregory, Larry and David of 728 Oakwood Ave.

are home after a week's vacation at Keuka Lake. Following the vacation, Mr. Sloane spent several days at a meeting of the state board of directors 01 the New York State Cemetery Association at Elmira. where plans were made for the forthcoming convention In that city. Ben Schenck, son of Mr.

and Mrs. John T. Schenk of 100 Hampton Rd will leave Sept 12 for his sophomore year at Williams College, Williamstown. Mass. He has been working all summer at the Lake Placid Club, Lake Placid, and expected home for about a week before lerurning to college.

His brother, John, leaves Sept. 18 for his senior year at The Loomis School, Windsor, Conn His parents will take him there and then will vacation in New Hampshire. Mrs. Richard Gilchnst Jr. and son, Richard III, who have been living with the former's parents, Mr.

and Mrs. Clifford Jackson of Nedrow RD have arrived in Bitburg, Germany. Mrs. Gilchrist is joining her husband, who is stationed at the Bitburg Air Force Base. Beverly Craw of Binfhamton is a guest this week of Suzanne Druehl and her parents, Mr.

and Mrs. Gordon E. Druehl of Highbridge Fayetteville. The younjr -women are classmates at Wheaton College, Norton, where Suzanne will return in mid-September for her senior year. It would be a wonderful opportunity to see them.

I of course will pay my own vay and also part of the gasoline. I am quite friendly with these neighbors and we visit occasionally but we are not what you would call really My husband thinks it would be a gross imposition to make any such request, but I can't see why it would be wrong -s they will not be going out of their way and having someone else along would certainly be company for them. I could even do some of the driving. I would like to know what you think about this? Answ er: I think you might ask your neighbor when you her alone "How would you like to take along a paying guest on your trip?" You can tell from the way she answers whether to Marine Midland Trust of Sc New York and her hus- lown a P'- ar "fl rs William sand is employed by General Electric. go into further details or just let the matter drop.

By asking i her with her husband not pres- Out of town guests who attended the wedding Saturday of the en she can put you off by an- former Miss Onnolee DeBnen to Patrick J. Daley in the ChinchUwcring "Oh, I'll have to ask of the Blessed Sacrament, wcte Miss Valerie Kneeshaw of Portree 'John, he does not like to feel Mrs. Kermit L. Breed New Yoik City, were Mr. and Mrs.

Phillip Daly, Mr. rnd Mrs Leioy Biust. Mrs Phurma Readc. Norman Brust, Heniy Hastava.i, Mrs. lone Magce, Miss Mary Magee, and William Schumachei.

Mrs. Lcroy Hollenbrck of Johns- has to make conversation on of Augusta, Ga. Also i a or) trip" Dear Mrs. Tost: My husband a toothpick after every meal--a habit which I abhor. However, he won't even try to stop it unless I can prove in print from you that it is bad manners.

Will you please comment on the use of the toothpick? Answer: According to best taste, a toothpick should r.ot be used in the presence of others. Should it be necessary to use one, it should be done in the privacy of the bathroom. Dear Mrs. Post: When sending out partially printed invitations for an anniversary dinner, would it be proper to fill in the blank! spaces with a typwriler, or must they be filled longhand? Answer: They must in longhand. i To help you plan a dinner I i a i tettlrtK and a menu In her leaflet E-29.

"Buffet nnd Post jorrv she cannot answer mall To obtain a copy, send in cents In coin to Dcpt The. Post-Standard. P.O. Bov 99, BtatlOn New Torfc 18. N.

Raydon C. Hitchcock, son Mr. and Mrs. Heniy M. Hitchrock of 319 Lathrop Wcstvale, spent the holiday weekend as Rucst of Miss Carole McMurray and her parents, the Hev.

and Mrs. Howard D. McMurray of Philadelphia, Pa. Raydon will resume his studies at Muskingum College. New Concord, Ohio, on Sept.

15. Mrs. Tatricia Mattoon of 116 Comstock -who left yesterday by plane, will spend three weeks motoring: through England and Scotland. Mrs. Mattoon is the only woman in the drafting department in the General Electric Co.

plant at Liverpool. Recent guests of Mr. and Mrs. George W. Brcnneman of 80G DeWitt Si.

in their summer home at Amber Beach, Otisco Lake. were Mr. and Mrs. Lloyd J. Richardson Jr.

of 1105 Carbon nnd Mr. and Mrs. Edward Snydcr and Mr. and Mrs Kenneth Arnold of Harnsburg, Pa. During their stay, a a in honor of Mrs.

Bien- ncman was given by summer residents of Amber Beach, Also, Mr and Mrs. Allen Smith and daughter, Janet, of Marcelhis and Amber Beach, entertained Friday, for (heir ten and rtaufihter-in-law. Mr. and Mrs. Raymond F.

Smith, who have returned from the U. S. Air Force Base, Homestead, Fla. Mrs, Raymond Smith is the former Miss Jnncl Lrenncman. Miss Mfirjone Dowse of Rockvillc Center, L.

I. visited ovci the weekend with Mr. and Mrs. Knrl Nann of West Soncca Tnpk, Onondagn Hill. She was entertained by Mr.

and Mrs. Raymond of Bronson rond, All were classmates at the State Um vcrsity Teachers' College at Oswcgo. IT WAVES SEPTEMBER ONLY Imagine! our popular $12.50 "Starlight 9 Cold Wave priced so low complete with haircut Free! GI-AMOUP. CONDITIONING SHAMPOO vifh every wave during this event. 10.00 Special Cold Wave with haircut 5,95 Beauty Salon Phone HArrlson 2-9873 Appointment Not Always 2nd Floor.