Cumberland Evening Times from Cumberland, Maryland on November 9, 1955 · Page 4
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Cumberland Evening Times from Cumberland, Maryland · Page 4

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Wednesday, November 9, 1955
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FOUR EVENING TIMES. CUMBERLAND, MO., WEDNESDAY, NOVEMBER 9, 1955 DiaJ PA-2-4600 for a WANT AD Takfr Evening & Sunday Times Afternoon (ue«pt laodar* :, Publlrted byn.nnnji Mornln«. AlltfaaUB . '•* s<mth M « eh » Bl « » •eeosd Miryltnd. .under mill m.M« j «et ot M»re> tr ol tt>« Au«l» Member <X It* Auocl«Ud Phone PA 1-4600 Weekly itibscripHea rat* by <-*n*n _ Mall Subscription R»tei Evening Time* l«t. 2nd. 3rd and 4th Port.) Zone* 11 25 Month - 17.00 Sis Month, - J14.00 One I1.Z3 Mowm pojttl ZoBeI ^ 11.50 Month - 18.50 SU Month* - 117-00 On. , V«f Mail Subicriptlon Rate. Sunda, Jtae, Only 1st 2nd. 3rd and 4tb Portal Zones ;; j'6 one Month - $3.00 SI* Months - 16.00 On. = •-. 5th. 6th. 7th and «tb Portal Zone. .,,.60 One Month - J3.60 Sta Month. - VIM On* ,'v.Tn, Evenlo* Times and Sunday Tto«a "sum. na ..financial responsibility lor typographical errors In '' idvertisemeati but will reprint that £*««'" advertisement in which the typographical error . occurs, errors must be reported at once. ' Wednesday Afternoon, Nov. 9, 1955 OUR COUNTRY The union of hearts, tht union of handi and the Flag of our Union forever.— Morr/'i. lome Tariff Hikes 2 % FOR AN ADMINISTRATION that con- iiders itself wedded to the idea of more liberal foreign trade, this one does some 'Odd things. First there was a hike in the |arif£ on Swiss watches, then on foreign- 'ir.ade bicycles. Now there are unmistak- Ible signs the government is preparing to yield to domestic pressures which de- mlncT curbs on Americans oil imports. Arthur S! Flemming, director of defense mobilization, has warned U. S. oil companies and importers that, unless they cut back their imports from the current 19 per cent of domestic output to the 16.6 per ce,nt that prevailed last year, import quotas would be slapped on. As in the case of the Swiss watch tariff move, the excuse is "national security." BUT THE ADVOCATES of quotas, who seem to have won considerable congressional backing, fail to document that argument convincingly. Chiefly, they have failed to show how American security is promoted by a policy that.would call for using up our domestic oil reserves faster than is necessary. Obviously, the more we draw upon foreign sources for vital oil supplies in peacetime, the more of our owri stocks we will have left on hand in the event of war. Nor can it be successfully established that America's oil industry is suffering markedly as result of imports. The industry is selling more oil products than ever before in its. history— and at better prices.. Furthermore, it is doing more exploring and discovering of oil than ever. One would-imagine that if the domestic industry were in trouble from imports, a problem of excess reserves would be developing. BUT THE FACT IS THAT the industry is hunting harder than ever for new reserves, for all the forecasts indicate tremendously greater fuel "demands in the years ahead. This hunt calls for heavy" outlays of money. This year a record $3 •billion will be put out. The industry would be unlikely to lay out that kind of money K the only effect would be to build a surplus that would depress its market. The market of course is not depressed. It is booming. Until there is a real showing that oil imports are hurting domestic, interests seriously in this country, national security would appear to demand that they continue apace. The imposition of quotas would shatter the last hope that this administration genuinely intends to foster greater foreign trade to strengthen economic self-reliance in the western family of nations. Exit The Rally VICE-PRESIDENT Richard M. Nixon calls attention to what every practical politician knows, that a long-time political custom is on its last legs. .. This is the rally, held in some hall or backroom or someone's living room, where party workers turn up with anyone else whom they can drum up, to hear speeches from one or more candidates. Invariably the chief speaker is late and generally tired out, having spoken at four or five other such affairs earlier. Sometimes the rally used to be preceded by a torchlight procession with floats and standards bearing slogans. Now, as Nixon intimates, the rally is dying, and for the good reason that people no longer come. Voters prefer their own firesides, radio and TV sets to sitting on hard chairs in a smoke- filled room, listening to what is usually boring oratory. The only attendants are apt to be party workers who do not need to be converted," and are more adequately pepped up by other methods. Even the big meetings that climax the presidential election are threatened. They are still held and are perhaps effective. It seems safe to predict, Tiowever, that they will not be with us a generation from now. (30-0-OD eVeAJ-M-IAJG/ AMDARffVoU*. £QUA\- -TO A /HALF HOUR OF LWDlLUreD HORROR?.. ALL RISHT, BUT (F VOU SHOULD F£€L S/CK FRo/*l TERROR A WHfFFoF AMA10AJ/A WILL HfLR ALLlfteRe IS MOT/HMG QUITS'SO UPSeTT{^<S AS MMR-R-RpeR.'--,HA.'«A/HA/-especMLLV WH6M IT HAPPSMS JW A HAUAJTCD HbUSC, FULL OF BATS AWD Sc?ueAKV DOORS. AS OUR S1<3KY ORSMS A ^ TftUMPeR STfcRM IS RASJAJ& . IT IS MIDNK5HT. L /, (•THIS GuY is FUNNY m •f H€S S/Mpm A SCREAM I Whitney Bolton Looking Sideways Thomas L. Stokes Kiiowland Frets, Awaiting Ike's Decision NEW YORK-Here is the square named for unions (some'say) and other claim Union Square was named for the Union itself, for the United States of America,.and maybe these claimants are right because Thomas 'Jefferson's- statue is there larger than life and for all the -attention anyone pays it might as well be a statue of Joe Doakes. There are scribbles of obscenity on the stone base, discarded milk cartons, chewing gum . wrappers, 'crumpled . cigarette packets all whipped together by the winds and laid as a filthy wreath at the base. . . On the benches'lining the dirty •walks,, idlers sit in the early November.sun discussing the State of the Union, what should be done, with Peron, how to reduce the income tax and what to do about Iceland.. The self-appointed, un, employed, fiercely individualistic philosophers of Manhattan, most . of them as ragged in the mind as .in their clothes. ; . .There.is something pathetic (and irritating, as well) about a shift. less, • unwashed man at 11 o'clock in the morning expounding. from a littered park bench just what he would tell Anthony Eden to do about Cyprus. Such a man can't even tell himself how to get up off the bench and get a job in a time when they aren't hard to find. . ' , .•'..--•-.. In the days 'of depression these unkempt philosophers had a kind of charm, but in days of prosperity they are as much, of a litter as the discarded candy wrappers. WASHINGTON - What began as an isolated, plaintive and somewhat dubious "Maybe the President .will run again" has now grown into a chorus of more volume and confidence: "I believe the President will run again." Coupled with it is the insistence that-he be given plenty of time to make his decision. What is the reason for this "trend"? It may be recalled, at the outset; that .Republican politicians were thrown into a panic by the President's illness, which reached a state of desperation in some cases. It is probable that some of the latter have actually come to believe, with his rapid recovery, that he will run again — because they desperately wish that to be so. .It is only natural that this delusion should.be found among candidates for office, including members of House and Senate up for reelection next year. Some from doubtful areas see little hope .of continuing in public office, which is all-important to them if not to you and me, unless the President heads the ticket. We may set these wishful thinkers to one side. For Better Friendship FOR MOST AMERICANS the most popular European in our history has always been the French Marquis rle Lafayette. His aid in our ; Revolution was invaluable, and won American hearts at the time. His name survives in many cities and Lafayette University. Now another recognition has come, with the establishment of a Lafayette Fellowship Foundation, of which President Eisenhower and President Rene Coty of France are honorary co-chairmen. Its aim is to help outstanding French students carry on their studies in our colleges-and universities. The Ford Foundation has pledged $1,000,000, provided $2,000,000 is contributed from other sources. Plans to raise this sum are under way. The Lafayette Fellowship will, it is hoped, help-to promote friendly relations between the United States and France just as the British-inspired Rhodes Fellowships have 'served to better our relations with Great Britain. Any project that makes for friendship between nations deserves encouragement. the possibility of his being a candidate. That will prevent ambitious aspirants from moving in and beginning campaigns for themselves. = In such a.-"frozen" party situation the Eisenhower wing leaders can keep the upper hand. They are buying time to find a candidate of their own sort That may take time, and will if they also hope to ; elect him, which they do. ..... BUT*THERE are others promoting the "Ike-may-run" and."Let- him4ake-his-time-with-his-decision" continuity who are moved by very real practical political considerations and are under no illusions that the President will seek -a second term. : These are the leaders of the Eisenhower wing of the GOP who are keeping the Eisenhower symbol shining and raised high while they make every arrangement, under its beneficent glow, to keep the party in their hands if possible. As long as the President says nothing, so long will he keep open A- REASON FOR- the holding operation is publicly revealed, for al] to see, in the lone dissenter. The reference is to Senator Wil- liani F. Knowland of California. He is literally champing at the bit to get going in the race for the nomination, but has to hold back, until the-'President gives the verdict officially that he is not a candidate," himself. The California Senator is asking publicly that the President inform the party of his intentions by the first of the year. He wants no delay. Senator Knowland has not the least doubt that the President is out of the race, and he knows that those who are promoting the holding strategy are of the same conviction. He is perfectly aware, . too, .that he symbolizes the reason ; for the holding operation. He is not in the inner Eisenhower . circle. *-To the contrary,.he-is looked upon as the legatee of the mantle of the late Senator Robert A. Taft of. Ohio, and thus is identified with the now dormant and quies- cenV'Taft wing of the party which has, however, considerable latent strength back at the grass roots and also in Congress. was picked, by Senator Taft for the .important party post he now' occupies, GOP leader in the Senate. •That provides prestige to top off driving personal ambition. The Eisenhower leaders are fearful of the probable renascence of the Taft-wing once the President's hold on the party reins is released. • Senator Knowland has: another frustration that magnifies his impatience. This is. that'the-longer the President's silence keeps the situation frozen, the better it is'for his younger rival from his' own state, Vice President Nixon. For as •Vice President, a post that has been built up tremendously, the latter is constantly the center of attention—and,-publicity—as well as behig a participating: member of the ruling clique .of the regency. : : : . • ONCE THE President removes himself from the 1956 race, this element will once again revive and re-assert itself. It will have ready for its rallying point the eagerly receptive California Senator, who IT CAN BE SAID that it is not to improve the Vice President's position that the Eisenhower leaders are conducting their holding operation, though recognizing this may be its effect temporarily. For some of them do not favor Mr. Nixon as the nominee. But, help him or not, they need to keep control to avoid a messy factional fight in advance of the party convention next August. They have more than their own control of the party in mind. They honestly believe that the party can win only . with a forward-looking philosophy, domestic and international, such as has come to be identified with the President in the public mind. If the party wins they will achieve their own preservation as well as that of other elements in the party, of course. There is that much selfishness in their strategy. But that is only normal. (United Feature Syndicate, Inc.) Peter Edson Union Palace Sign Of Labor's Prosperity WASHINGTON —(NEA)— Dedication of the new, five-million-dollar white marble -palace headquarters for President Dave Beck and his International Brotherhood of Teamsters, Chauffeurs, Warehousemen and Helpers of America must be noted as one'of the really socially significant signs of the times. It is a far cry from what would have been observed in the good old days. Then a new "Teamsters' Hall" would be opened over a saloon in a section on the wrong side of the tracks known affectionately as "Hell's Half Acre." At the new Teamsters' headquarters, all, all is moderne and unmortgaged — probably the only unmortgaged building in town. During the last few days, this new seat of power has been open for inspection by a bug-eyed public. But were the guides husky, tieless warehousemen in shirtsleeves pointing out, "Dis way to de lib'ary?" Not on your life. They were nonunion college boy guides, that's what they were,. ! hired for the occasion to direct,. ' grammatically, the mighty and the masses on ttteir way to the penthouse, and please don't step through the picture windows. NOW THIS marks the darn near ultimate in the Triumph of Labor, with captial letters, please. When the Toilers can hire young Intellectuals to do their menial chores, and face a strike and picket line of their own office help, Great Day has arrived. The President's forthcoming White House Conference on Education had better mark it well. The Teamsters' heaven is of course only one of a number of new landmarks the rubberneck bus spielers now point out to lourists. Machinists, Electrical Workers, Steelworkers and others ^ire putting up new office buildings all over downtown. . The American Federation of Labor — soon to-merge with the Congress of Industrial Organizations — has its own new headquarters nearing, completion. Its top- floor auditorium and balcony overlook the White House itself. It towers over a church to make the "U. S. Chamber of Commerce and the U. S. Treasury look like sorry old dumps. ' with board rooms, Cinerama theatres' seating 500,, cafeterias and .coffee-break rooms for the lesser help — there would be wild wails of warning. Several alarmists have crawled out on the end of their.flagpoles to. predict that Walter Reuther was aiming to be president of the United States. IF.U. S.' : STEEL, DuPont, General Electric, any of the auto giants or the power trust were to move their main :offices to W. sh- ington and put up business chateaux of Teamster-type—complete History From The Times Files TEN YEARS AGO November 9, 1945 South End Republican Club, Inc., 229 Virginia Avenue, granted Class C liquor license after lengthy hearing in Circuit Court. ' Staff Sgt. Charles E. O'Neal. USAF,, Williams Road, declared dead by War Department. Four-year-old Bernard Barbe, Franklin Street, struck and injured by auto. TWENTY YEARS AGO November 9, 1»35 Paul Clark, 27, Magnolia. W. Va., killed in auto-truck crash on Route SO at Ml. Storm. Death of Mrs. Juli.i A. Gulbronson, Race Street; Mrs. Mnry E. Wilson. 70, Baltimore Avenue; William H. Emcrick, Ellcrslie, Fire damaged iiome of Frank J. Vocke, North Johnson Street. THIRTY YEARS AGO November 9, 1925 C. L. Mitchell named commander of Henry Hart Post. 1411. Veterans of Foreign Wars. Charleston contest held at Roseland Academy won by Miss Anna Daily and Charles Schontze; Miss Ann Hoban nnd Francis Brown. Frank A. Worth elected head of Cumberland Radio Association. FORTY YEARS AGO November 9, 1915 Repaying of Baltimore Street completed by J. Toner Barr at cost of $24,800. Dplon Robinctte, 45. injured in fall through C&P Railroad Company bridge at Corripnnvillc. Orville Shaw, Barton, critically hurt in dynamite explosion in Georges Creek Coal Company office. YOU GET AS FAR as Second Avenue and walk down it toward Houston Street, passing the once flourishing and colorful buildings of the Yiddish Theatre and their attendant, almost-European cafes. Down at Houston Street (pronounced in New York, for some reason, as how-ston) the old home of candid, brash burlesque is currently housing Maurice. Schwartz and up a'few blocks the Phoenix is ready for a new play. People used to build dance and banquet halls down this way for evening activity. Now they are more active as TV rehearsal halls all day.. "Studio One," "Star To-' night" and several other top TV shows rehearse down here at 'Central Plaza Casino, between 7th and 6th Streets. "Star Tonight" rehearses in a hall constantly set up for weddings, with an altar banked with white artificial flowers and rubber ferns. All they have to do t(5 join a couple is move out the actors and move in the principals. It's a strange sight to watch two jut-jawed actors reach for imaginary guns and bark:' "All right, you,'go. for your heater!" while over them in an arch white roses and lilies, made of wax and'paper, nod slowly and benignly. Recently a bank robbery scene was rehearsed there, the actor twid.dh'ng roses on their stems instead of the combination wheel he would twiddle when the show went on the air. THINGS AREN'T thataway yet. But Reuther and AFL President George Meany do call-on Secretary of State John Foster Dulles every so often, to tell him what's wrong with his foreign policy. Believe some of the Labor Tycoons and the 30-hour, four-day' week with guaranteed annual time- and-a-half off and pensions at age 55 is just around the corner. Herbert Hoover in his balmiest predictions of 1929 was never so optimistic. -. Jf the Communists really want to know what a workers' paradise is like, just show 'em the Teamsters' HQ. Adam in the Garden of Eden never had it like-Dave Beck, the Labor Boss Capitalist. And when you call him that, you don't have to smile. Congratulations are in order. So They Say "I'm for Harry Truman first, Harry Truman second and Harry Truman third. Truman has more vigor and more ability than 'anyone else in the field. That little fellow from Missouri gets younger all the time. ' —Gov. James E. Folspm (D).. of Alabama, on his choice for the Democratic presidential -nomi-' nation, • . • . Many a man who would instantly recognize his incompetence to extract a tooth, will not hesitate to utter the most firm and unyielding' opinions upon matters of educa- '- tional theory and practice about which he is not informed. —Dr. Virgil Hnncher, president University of Iowa. There arc bloodier punishments than, segregation but few more degrading. —Attorney General Brownoll. YOU WALK across Fourteenth Street toward the east,, passing the one-time sites of famed theatres of New York: When ; show business left 14th Street it moved to Herald Square at 34th Street, then to Times Square at 42nd Street and now is stabilized (if anything in New York ever is stabilized) between 44th Street -md 52nd Street. You wonder if the forces which caused the other moves are still strong enuogh to make the theatre move northward again, and you doubt it. TV is getting too strong and the theatre too .costly for moves. - . . The audience for the legitimate theatre has become a specialized audience, not a general one. And it may as well remain in the 40's. BUT BUSINESS must be good in little hole-in-the-wall ice-cream and soda pop shops, of which there • are dozens. In front of three of 'them, gleaming and immaculate, a Jaguar, a Porsche, an MG. Three imported automobiles owned and parked for the day by the ', proprietors of these little sweet shops. 'You walk down ; -to the river, darting across the East River Drive between speeding cars, and watch the water move slowly by. Soon a tanker, empty,, . its'hull reared up and showing rust, and encrustation, moves down toward the - sea. The sailors on the deck wave. : It flies a Panamanian flag and the thought comes to you: "Who. has oil wells in Panama?" It vanishes in the - mist down river and after watching the soiled, streaked river waters, you start back west across town. • (McNaught Syndicate, Jnc..) Frederick Othman - 1 ^^^J^iLJ^j' '' ' ' * Beef steak Versus Turkey WASHINGTON—The subject to-day is turkey and this .is not exactly a paean of praise. Beefsteak is better. • I mean I became an. involuntary expert on roast turkey for thanksgiving back 20 years ago when I.- covered .the Agriculture Department (which then was plowing under little pigs) as a reporter for the United .Press. . . Along about this time of year my boss, the late, great Raymond Clapper, always suggested that I take time out from bulletins .on the .doings of Henry Wallace and drop over,to the Bureau of Home Economics for my annual turkey story. grims ate turkey that first-Thanksgiving. There wasn't anything else handy for their blunderbusses. I revere these pioneers as much as anybody, but I still do not see why we must eat turkey in their honor .when there are so many other things so much better. THERE THE smells were elegant; in fact Fve-::ever had any objection to the odor of turkey roasting. The motherly experts in their white aprons were experimenting with widely assorted ways of cooking turkey to make it taste better and they were friends of' mine. They made me sit down in their laboratory and sample the results. ' Sometimes they cooked turkey dry and sometimes wet. One year they tried it, sealed in-tin foil. They made a stuffing of every conceivable material except, building plaster. One. year-they used, orange peel and I must admit this was better than usual. The result didn't taste so much like turkey as it did marmalade. ' THERE ARE diehards -who always give me an argument on the turkey question. My only retort is that every lady, except one, .who ever roasted a turkey attempted to counteract the dryness of this fowl with something soupy in the way "of 'a dressing. It makes me sad- to see fine, plump oysters used in this way. Chestnuts frequently go into turkeys, too, but they somehow come out oily and damp. Only proper place to eat a chestnut is fresh roasted on a cold night on a big city street corner. There are, incidentally, few chestnut roasters left in American cities. Only in London on wintry evenings are chestnuts available at nearly every 'crossing., - •» ANOTHER time the ladies were enthusiastic about a turkey.that was nearly all white meat.; It had the measliest little drum sticks I ever-did see on a bird. Then they were excited about the new Beltsville turkey that grew to maturity, but stayed small enough in size to fit the average oven. It still tasted like turkey to me. The skillet scientists, as I say, were as kindly as they were conscientious. They nearly always topped my turkey sampling with a piece of pie. Once I well remember they gave me the best slice of pumpkin pie I ever ate. They giggled. They said it was made of sweet potatoes. So two decades have passed and;. I have no doubt that another young man working for the United Press is about to get his assignment to do the turkey story. MY POINT is that skilled cooks have been laboring unceasingly since the days of the Pilgrims, trying to make turkey fit to eat. In my own opinion they have not yet achieved this. 'I can understand why the Pil- Barbs ; By HAL COCHRAN The fellow who spends most of his time minding other people's business usually knows little about his own. People in an' Illinois town want all kinds of dogs barred from eating places. Including hot dogs? As soon as all of the various elections are over we'll have another large sour grapes crop. BUT LET US return to that one lady, who was the exception of the dressing question. I met her the other day at the International Convention of Pretzel 'Bakers. She was the secretary. She said pretzels are the dryest food eaten by humans. That's why they go so well with beer. She said crumple them up inside the turkey and they'll keep the •thing from being mushy. I wouldn't argue with her, but I'm still hoping jTiy bride will produce beef; steak for Thanksgiving. . (United Feature Syndicate, Inc.) President GOVERNOR Christian A. Herter of Massachusetts, born while his parents were temporarily in Paris, has been suggested as a Republican presidential possibility if President Eisenhower does not run. But can an American born abroad of American parents become president? The Constitution says: "No person except a natural-bom citizen, or a citizen of the United States at the time of the-adoption of the Constitution, shall be eligible to the office of President." This would have enabled Alexander Hamilton, born in the West Indies, to qualify had his party, the Federalists, nominated - and elected him. In 1824 there was a strong movement to choose as vice-president Albert Gallatin. Secretary of *the Treasury .under Jefferson arid Madison. He was a Swiss by birth, b'it a citizen at the time of the adoption o( the Constitution. Without doubt he was fully eligible, but the prejudice against him on account of his foreign birth caused his defeat. In 1894 Mayor George B. McClcl- Ian, of New York, son of the Civil war |en«r»l. who ran against Lincoln for reelection, was suggested . for. the Democratic presidential nomination. He, like Gov. Herter, was born in Paris during his parents' temporary stay there. His eligibility, however, never came up for a decision. Either with Gov. Herter or another this point may some day have to be officially settled. Hal Boyle ™» AP Reporter's Noteboof • NEW YORK—Does your fountain pen match the upholstery of your new motor car? Is your underwear the same color as your front fender? If not, perhaps you are falling behind 1 iti the race to be fashionable. ,.: While waiting for a long line.of cars to get untangled Al Rubin, a glove "manufacturer; mulled over the problem of turning out some^ thing new and different in driving gloves. Suddenly the thought clashed into his mind: ^. "Why not match the gloves to-the car?";This latest line of auto apparel—called ca'ri mates—consists of 40 wardrobe items ranging from neckties to wallets. It is sponsored bjf%. manufacturers and the Ford Motor Co. •:& WHEN WE SET ABOUT matching our wardrobes with the new two-tone -automobiles practically any thing, can happen—and probably will. ' " -,v« The average man naturally doesn't want his new motor car to get- an inferiority complex. So he won't mind too much wearing colonial white and fiesta red underwear if, 15y thus becoming color wedded to his car, it really makes the car feel better. ' ;:;;! Everybody likes to ride in a happy and content«d vehicle. '...-• But if his wife insists she feels it necessary to dye her hair colonial white and fiesta red just so she can merge her personality bet'ter with the family automobile? A man'can love a white-haired wife. But can any man go''on feeling romantic about a red-and-white-haired wife? . .-.' '.".'* There is also the question of expense. Can the average man afford to junk his family's entire wardrobe and buy complete new outfits for them every time he buys a new car? :;• > Suppose he decides it'll be^ cheaper year after 'year merely to purchase fresh wardrobes. for the family—and just slap a matching n'e> coat of paint on the old'bus. What'll that.do to the market for new cars? _ • Another problem. When a fellow does trade in his old car on a new'one, does the used car dealer give him a trade-in allowance on every member of the family's old -wardrobe, too? Do second hand car dealers want to get into the . second hand clothing business also?' • -'•..* PERSONALLY, I don't mind getting a new two-tone fountain pen or cigaret lighter to achieve color harmony with'a new car. But what about pajamas? It is suggested that . men's pajamas should also'match their'auto- mobile. Here is where I feel sure,the average citizen will draw the line. Few fellows spend much time driving around iii. pajamas, arid those who do usually end up hi jail. : I wear my pajamas in ..the house, and;I don't feel it. is any business of a motor car what color they are. ... If the day ever comes when I have to pick my pajamas merely to please the idle whims of a style-snooty automobile—well, I'll walk to work first. The motor car may rule garage and highway, but it will kindly-keep its radiator out of the nation's boudoirs. { Don't you feel the automobile sometimes shows a tendency to throw its horsepower around too much? , •".'•• If motor cars are so darn smart, why can't they go out and find their own parking places? (Associated Press) ' : George Dixon The Washington Scene . . WASHINGTON-Rep. Michael Joseph Ki wan, of Ohio, is ordinarily a polished'gentle- man, a practitioner of all the amenities, but the other day he shocked a roomful of politically-minded ladies. He resorted to very grim humor. Rep. Kirwan's lapse was doubly scandalizing because the females were members of the Democratic National Women's Club and he is a very potent person in the Democratic party. He is chairman of the Democratic Congressional Committee, which strives to see that only Democrats are elected to Congress. : He was a luncheon guest of the ladies and graciously consented to say a few Democratic words. But the toastmistress, Mrs. A. F. O'Boyle, committed the protocolian error o£ introducing him as "Senator Kirwan," -.- \ The Representative speedily put her straight as to his lesser status. Then he added: "I do not aspire to any higher office. Two of my predecessors were ambitious and it killed them." When the ladies looked puzzled, Rep. Kirwan explained that two of the Congressmen who- represented Ohio's 19th .district before him, were driven by ambition to higher office. They were Presidents Garfield and McKinley. THANK GOODNESS everybody'is not so politically-minded as the Democratic danies. The other day Secretary of the 'Treasury George M. Humphrey went to Chicago to "attend a party in his honor. : But when he got to the place he found twp affairs going on. • He halted a scurrying waiter and askeiJ: "Are either of. these parties for Humphrey?'? "Naw," spat the waiter, "these are all 1 a lot of ... Republicans!" •:'.; SECRETARY of Agriculture Ezra. Taft Benson has taken time out from his hog-buying to write me a very nice letter. Inasmuch as I have few pen pals who own S85 million .worth of pork I feel highly flattered. ;' Writes the gracious cabinet official: "Dear George: I thoroughly enjoyed your column (about his purchases to bolster hog prices). You 'may also have noted that the President ate pork bacon for breakfast the other morning. ."Thanks: again for your help in promoting the sale of pork products, incidentally, we know we have good uses in school lunches and welfare outlets for .that 170,000,000 pounds of pork and 30,000,000 pounds of lard that we will be buying during the months to come." '.•• A 65-YEAR-OLD woman named Lily Jepson married a 67-year-old man named Richard Harland in London a fortnight ago. The bride explained to misty-eyed reporters that..they were going to be married forty years ago'but that, just before she was to sail and join' her betrothed in Calgary, Canada, the shoc'shop chain for which she worked opened a..new branch at Knaresborpugh, Yorkshire, "and offered her the portfolio of manageress. - : .,i There was only one thing for a duty-imbue* Englishwoman, steeped 'in noblesse oblige, " do. She turned her back on love. "My career comes before marriage," she said. D'ya suppose that's where Princess" Margaret got her inspiration?. ,.,"•'.; OPENING REMARKS of Republican National Chairman Leonard W, Hall before the. Republican Western States Conference in Portland. Ore.: : . •'. :' "I am here on a serious business -^ the business of winning a great Republican victory in 1956. . . ; ; . ,, •.'.'< "That means that we arc going to elect a Republican President. It means that wa ire going to elect a Republican Senate; that^vc are going to elect a Republican House of Representatives; that we are going to elect Repp- lican governors, . -5 Looks'-as if Hall is against the lwo-p*ly system. '{ : . (Klnj FtMum, Inc.)

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