Pampa Daily News from Pampa, Texas • Page 4

PAMPA WEW3- THE PAMPA NEWS unmu wTfn except Saturday, Bandar tnoratnl VSt Neva, 822 Wnt Foater Arenoa, Pampa, departmenta fJ5X MsWEteSB i' WEDNESDAY. AUGUST 13, J941 1HE ASSOCIATED PRESS (Poll Leand wire). Press Is entitled to the me for pub- of all newi dlspatchea credited to it or otherwise csred- thia paper and alio the regular newt pnbllihed herein. Kntered 1 Mcond class matter March IB, 1927, pampa, Texas, under the act of March 8, Itflt. at tha pott- at Pampa.

Texas, under the act of March 8. Rational Adrertialng Representatives Dailr New York, It Louii. Kaniaa Citr. Loa San fyinelico and Chicago. SUBSCRIPTION RATES tit (BAS'HIER In Tampa, SOc per week, 86e per month, raid In advance, 12.50 per three months, per ilx 110.00 pet year.

BY MAIL, payable In advance. MTwIim In Br (Panhandle of Texas, M.S5 per renr. Outside of the Pan- ,17.60 per year. Price per single copy 6 No mall tfitft accepted In localities served by carrier delivery. An Independent Democratic newspaper, publishing the newi fairly'and Impartially at all and supporting In Ita edl Serial cclumni toe principles which It believes to ba right and those questions which It bellevea to ba wrong, ra- of partr Common Ground rdi MOVEMENTS IN EUROPE Ttib column ran no lattafaetorr ptotrm until measure the iharet of each nan bjr the common rard- Itlek of God-jlYcn equal right to and tnloj hat a right to ovate and enjor.

OP "I pledge to the Flag of the United States of America and 'to the Republic for which It stands, one Indivisible, with liberty and Justice for ail!" No Escaping The Consequences As fervently as anybody, we wish the world were so that we didn't have to decide things. If 'could just rock along In some kind of Golden Age letting things work themselves out, con- Vlnped that everything would be all right somehow without our deciding anything, that would be dandy. ''-This is a cold Iron-and-steel world, however. It is a world In which we have had conclusive demonstrations that the most dangerous thing of all is just to settle 'back and drift. Right now, for instance, congress has the responsibility of deciding whether to break up the army thus far and start building a new one, or to hold the present establishment intact until there is a e'hqrjge for the better in the conditions that dictated building that army in the first place.

Is. an unpleasant decision. Some people will be displeased either way. But congress has often complained that authority was being taken off Its hands the executive. With authority goes responsibility.

In this matter, it has both, and the people will hold Its members responsible for the consequences. rshould the United States resolutely bear down on every action that will help to defeat the Nazi aggressors? Those who believe and urge that, bear potential we might get into a war with all Us horrors; we might become Involved In the realignment of a Europe we do not know how to realign; we might achieve other unforeseen results, mostly evil. Should the United States draw back from active aid those who resist aggression; pull back to a static defense of this continent, Indifferent to what may happen In the rest of the world? Some like to themselves that this decision Is without conse- querices. Yet that decision implies taking this chance: If 'the Germans and Japanese win, break up the British fleet arid empire, restrict according to will all U. 'S.

contacts with the rest of the world, foment Nazi' revolutions in half of South America, they might then force a war on a lone United States at their pleasure. Either decision today could be wrong; either decision i implies future possibilities that are unpleasant. Yet those consequences, either way, must be faced; the- only unpardonable course is to advocate a line of conduct, thinking and hoping against all reason that it -wlil have no consequences at all. FOR MINERS A new scholarship has just been established at the University of Illinois. We don't know whether It has a' specific name, but It ought to be called the Ameri- There is something deeply American schalorship goes to some young miner now actually working at that trade, or the son of such ar'miner.

The Illinois Mining Institute has set up a series of such scholarships in order to provide mining engineering training to young men most likely to prof it' by It. 'It; Was Woodrow Wilson in "The New Freedom" whbysald something to the effect that if a country is good for those who are on the make, it doesn't matter so much how It is for those who are already made. Every time someone opens up an opportunity like this for young men on the make, we feel proud that we; are in and of America. The Nation's Press CBN. SUMMER (From the New York Dally News)' Possibly the most important news item yet 'to come from the German-Russian war was a United Press report from Vichy yesterday, quoting neutral diplomats as stating that the wheat harvest in the Russian Ukraine is now under way and should be completed in two weeks.

If true, that means that if the Russians can stall the Germans on the Ukraine front for another fortnight, rushing the harvested grain back into the interior, Hitler's boys will find the Russian bread basket empty when and if they do break in. That in turn will mean that Hitler will have feed his Russian armies from Ger- irmny and Poland and Rumania, over long supply lines, Napoleon had the same trouble with the Russians' "scorched earth" retreat tactics in 1812, In the'end, Gen. Winter got him. It may be that Gen, Summer has gone to work for the Russians in the Ukraine. i It looks as if the peril to Great Britain and the United States is less grave than it was even a any reason for an early United i entry into the war more remote.

SPEED AND GASOLINE (Los Angeles Times) CO timely relevance to the defense effort to conserve manifestation of which is ttw 'just-promulgated "recommendation" closing Mflattm filling stations after the re- alflts of recent series of practical tests of the between an automobile's speed and consumption ue "These showed that, driven at 20 miles per hour, H' representative stock car of about average coat delivered 18.2 miles per gallon of gaso- 30 m.p.h, if covered 17.8 miles for each Above 30, the per-gallon mileage dropped rapidity. At 40 it at 14-1; at 60,123 and 70, the tried, a gallon of fuel for but 10 pr'riot much more than half the mileage at ANSWERING A READER'S TAX INQUTRT A reader writes, "If he (referring to writer of Common Ground) can tell me in numbers how his benefits from governments compare with mine, I will concede that he has the right idea of taxation." The comparative benefits received by different people Is measured in numbers by the amount of wealth each individual consumes during the year for himself and family for his own pleasure and livelihood. Measuring his consumption in dollars is reducing it to numbers. Property tax is simply a consumption tax and' business property tax is passed on to the consumer, if the property is properly managed. If it is not properly managed, it comes out of the ownership of the property who is then In reality the consumer.

Here Is an example of reducing to numbers the benefits each person receives from his government: If the reader referred to consumes $1000 a year, and I consume $5000 a year, then my taxes should be exactly five times as much as his. What I produce, that is what I receive, on a voluntary basis for my services, or the use of any tools that I may have, should not be taxed. It should not be taxed because it benefits, instead of harms, every other person in the world. But every dollar's worth of wealth I consume harms every other person in the world. If I were able to live on air and water and consume nothing and produce the same amount, I would then benefit every other eprson in the world more than I do by consuming a part of what I produce.

The same reader says, "please remember that no established wealth Is ever touched by an income tax." "Established wealth" has no meaning. The minute wealth is created, it is established. What difference does it make in the harm it does to society whether we tax new wealth that will be in the hands of people who know how to properly use it to benefit mankind or whether we tax wealth called "established" which has been in the hands of people for years. The reader seems to be advocating that new wealth should be taxed and old should not be taxed. How long would wealth have to be in existence before he would regard it as Any definition he would make, certainly would be arbitrary.

Again, the same reader says, "in the ten years from 1929 to 1939, there was little need to use new profits for tools." The reader, in making this statement, is certainly anything but meek. He is claiming that he knows what inventions and what improvements should be made. He is in reality posing as authority on efficient tools. Certainly there was need for new tools and new knowledge (and knowledge is tools), during the '20s. There was heed of billions of dollars worth of wealth and millions of hours of tune to be spent in helping people understand the fundamental principles that create peace, Harmony ana prosperity so mat an ever increasing population could have an ever increasing standard of living.

If we were not to have new capital added in the "20s then our standard of living would of necessity have to be lowered. To tax new wealth created as a result of satisfying human wants, is just simply a collective form of force. In short, it is arbitrary, dogmatic, tyrannical and plain robbery. It would not be so bad, if the tax were uniform. But to make classes out of people and tax one man at one fraction of his income and another man at a different fraction is to discard the theory that the universal rule is the golden rule.

It is to discard teachings of Jesus, when He said, "He makes his sun to rise on the evil and the good and sendeth rain on the just and the and when Peter said, "God is no respector of persons." When the majority establishes classes, it is disregarding all democratic and Christian principles. It is largely the cause of our protracted period of unemployment and so many of our people believing that we should enter into this foreign war. IS THAT A THREATr Secretary of the Treasury, Morgenthau, says, 'The first billion (refeTring to defense savings bonds) has been raised in the American Way by cooperation rather than compulsion. I am confident the second billion can be raised in the same democratic way, and still more speedily," he added. Is this a threat that if the American people do not voluntarily buy government bonds and thus take their wealth out of private enterprise, the government will confiscate it, as they do in Russia and Germany? We are not in war.

Yet, the Secretary of the Treasury infers that there might be forced buying of government bonds. If the Administration had practiced a policy of a single standard of right and justice, as the framers of the Constitution advocated, rather than a double standard as they do in Russia and Germany, they would not be making this threat of selling bonds by compulsion or confiscation. The Administration has stood in the way of the only taxing system that will prevent inflation or regimentation. The only taxing system that, in the long run, will prevent inflation or regimentation is taxing each and every consumer in proportion to the service the government renders to the consumer; that is, in proportion to the amount of this world's goods he requires to sustain his life and make him happy. And now, when the Administration is wrecking our money system, wrecking our credit system, destroying our morale, set- ing class against class and establishing a double standard of right and wrong, it is further threatening, through its Treasury to sell bonds by compulsion.

And yet we are preparing to go to the rest ol the world to establish the four freedoms. consistency thou art a Jewell fuel quality, were, of course, rdentlcaTIn afl the tests. And simultaneously one of the country's leading tiremakers announces others showing that tires wear out 62 per cent faster at 70 miles per hour than at 50. Here is a practical agrument for conservative driving which might appeal to some motorists who are left cold by the dinning reiteration of statistics on deaths, injuries and property Joss due to careless speeding on the roads. It is unfortunate that no figures are available to show the similarly disproportionate wear on engines, bodies and other car parts of high as compared with moderate speeds.

But the prospective shortage of all these equipment items, as well as of automobiles themselves and of gasoline, may shortly bring it home driver that speed jolts Around Hollywood BY PAUL HARRISON HOLLYWOOD, Aug. 13 This autumn, senhoras senhores, there will be two Mirandas on Broadway. And next year there will be two Mirandas in the movies. They'll be individual stars, too, and not a sister act. Carmen has decided this and Aurora naturally has approved.

The kid sister came here for a career, and the established star is acting as Aurora's agent and manager. No matter that Carmen still doesn't speak enough English to argue fluently with producers; they find her eloquent enough when she shrugs and says simply, "No." It began about six months ago when Carmen Miranda, working then in "That Night In Rio," wrote to her 20-year-old sister "to tell how wonderful ees Hollywood." So Aurora, who was a considerable success in the singing and dancing business in South America, wrote she also wished to come to the movie capital. AURORA ARRIVES When the sleek, black-haired Miranda reached New York, movie talent scouts with interpreters and bi-llngual contracts were swarming around her before she could unpack. They offered tests, stock contracts and specific roles, one being a spot in "Panama Hattie." So Aurora hotfooted it west, made screen tests and was ecstatic with delight when shq got two offers at $100 a week. That was the first time Carmen Miranda shrugged and said "No.

Aurora, she explained, was here for a vacation, in Rio, in Buenos Aires, Aurora Is a beeg star. In Hollywood, a veesitor. Studio offers climbed swiftly but Carmen still said no. She had a plan. Late In August she would finish her role In "Weekend in Havana," and then go to New York to be in "Crazy House" with Olsen and Johnson for the Shuberts.

Recalling that her own Hollywood stardom had followed her Broadway success In "Streets of Paris' and various plushy night clubs, Carmen decided Aurora must begin there, too. She would go into the Copocabana Club, and with her would go Carmen's pride and her own personal orchestra, the Banda da Lua. Then there would be a spot foi Miranda No. 2 in another Shubert show. And after that, Hollywood Carmen and Aurora will return early in 1942 when the former does her fourth musical for 20th-Fox.

By that time, there will be top roles In other pictures for the kid sister. A hundred a Also phooey SISTER KNOWS BEST "Aurora next year will be wha you call it, hot in Hollywood," salt Miranda No. 1 confidently. "Is al a matter of using the right psychol- ogic for the beeld-up. My seeste; do not onnerstand thees; but me Carmen, I know thees what you cal angles." Meanwhile, Aurora had some in tensive grooming, with daily visits tc the "Weekend in Havana" set explanations of movie technique dancing practice, and English les sons under Carmen's coach and terpreter, Yaconelll.

Not unti the other day did Miranda No. learn that Yaconelli teaches English with an Italian accent, but he teach es it very well, anyway. Strange Parish One of the world's strangest par ishes is that of the chaplain of an Iraq olj company. Only 6 feet wld but 1200 miles, long, the parish cov ers the area of two pipe lines frorr Haifa to Tripoli, and the chaplaii administers to the men in charge these. Severaji southern states have bee experimenting with the use of cot fabrjp People You Know By Archelr Fullingim Mrs.

Toy Johnson, the former Pampa woman who was nationally known as the woman who looked like Mrs. Simpson, now the Dutchess of is in the poultry business a big way. She and Toy are located on the big Johnson ranch hear: Roswell. Every day, a report from the ranch says, Mrs. Johnson takes a hundred eggs to town and gets 35 cents a dozen for them.

Besides the layers they have all kinds of poultry, besides cattle and irrigated crops. In these devastating hay fever days sufferers of that malady won't be a bit glad to learn that change of climate and shots are about the only things that help hay fever. The mountains relieve some people and aggravate the conditions of others who find relief on the coast. The peroxide remedy published in this column several-weeks ago did rio good. And think of.lt, fellow victims, the hay fever is going to last until frost! I saw a hundred, more or less, aluminum piles while on a vacation trip, in towns rar larger and far smaller than Pampa, but none as big as the stack of aluminum In Sheriff Cal Rose's office In the courthouse.

Not even Austin had as big a pile as Pampa. It WES a noble and remarkable task to raise all that aluminum A city jail prisoner was occupying a cell for the 52nd time yesterday. Sometimes he pays out his fine for intoxication and then again he "lays" it out The most delicious morsel of the week was a bit of apple pie made by Mrs. Mickey Conley. There's nothing so good as apple pie when It's good or so bad when it' bad B.

B. Saxe, chairman of the 'program committee'for the All States picnic Labor Day is working up a program that has them all beat, and undoubtedly will lure every one of us to the park that evening. Yesteryear In The News Ten Years Ago Today An ordinance reducing local gas rates was prepared by the city commission. An electricity rate reduction averaging 10 per cent was to be in effect when the next invoices were sent out, it was announced. Five Years Ago Today Pampa High school football games were to go on the air over Radio Station KPDN, school officials announced.

Mrs. Art Swanson, defending champion, and Mrs. Del Love weri to play the final round for thi Bill Jarratt trophy in the Women' Golf tournament. So They Say The British are happy now ove the. fact that they are all pullin together in a common cause ani really doing a job.

PAGE, British toy man ufacturer visiting the U. S. We one of proprlate this defense program a our own. The cure for a defense program Is not oppo sition, but more support. GOP 194 presidential candidate.

We rarely do our (jest work when there are legitimate-causes for com plajnt in Jhe terms'and THE LOOKING GLASS SOMEWHERE A VOICE By Stella Halit Lonelier than the stretches of rairle around Dodge City, Kansas, re the plains of Thrace. Hour after our the train carried its Euro- ean passengers over the desolate ountry. At very Infrequent Intervals here was a station and a handful sad, ill clothed men. One flickering amp would mark what seemed the utermost post of civilization. Far way was Paris and its gay popu- ntion, far behind the clean white eaks of Swiss mountains and the airy like beauty of Italian lakes.

Italy the known world had lipped away. Serbia and Bulgaria ad wild landscapes. Now the Bal- sn mountains had faded Into the onely desolation of Thrace. What horrible thing to be left behind one of those dim little stations vhere the wind might blow out the ight and all time would end. Maurine's fear of this unknown oneliness was greater than her cur- osity.

Just because she had liked he sound of Constantinople she had ntrained on this voyage which every hour seemed more foolish. Constan- inople called her just as Cheyenne md called her once. She had an- wered that call and had not been disappointed. The magic of the high air was intoxicating even to remem- Constantinople, which was not written that way any more on the maps had called her in distinct, urgent syllables and here she was on he sad plains of Thrace where eemingly grew no tree, no house, no man or beast, Life had ceased exist save in the compartments if the Orient Express puffing along the edge of nothing where It vould undoubtedly drop off. And then came a smell of the sea, there were villages, lights, clusters of people chattering.

The world becoming inhabited again. Mau- glimpsed millions of twinkling ights in the distance. That would be the seven hills of Byzantium. The rain was now running by the sea. There were little boats along the shore and people in cafes, and lights everywhere.

Lights you could understand. It was that one flickering light in a lonely station that terrified you. The arrival Tho station was like any other. Behind The News In Washington By PETER. EDSON WASHINGTON, Aug.

trying to figure out what to do about keeping the draftees In service, there has perhaps been more beating of bushes and chests, more tearing of hair and nerves, more confusion, more psychological maneuvering and more frantic attempts to feel the public pulse and then look worried, than on any Issue that has bothered congress this year. To see just how silly It has been, all you have to do -Is go back and read the selective service law, technically known as "Public No. ,783, 76th Congress, Chapter Session, S. 4164, An act to provide for the common defense by Increasing the personnel of the armed forces of the United States and providing for its training." So labeled, you can't miss It. Turn now to Section 3, subsections (b) and (c).

It is legal language, but not too tough, so tag along and you'll get the point: "(b) Each man Inducted shall serve for a training period of twelve consecutive months, unless sooner discharged, except that whenever the congress has declared that the national interest Is imperiled, such twelve-month period may be extended by the president to" such time as may be necessary in the Interests of national defense. "(c) Each such man, after the completion of his period of'training and service under subsection (b), shall be transferred to a reserve component of the land or naval forces of the United States; and until he attains the age of forty-five, or until the expiration of a period of ten years after such transfer, or until he'is discharged from such reserve component, whichever comes first, he shall be deemed to be a member of such reserve component and shall be subject to "such additional training and service as may now or hereafter be prescribed by law; Provided, that any man who completes at least twelve months' training and service in the land forces under subsection (b), and who thereafter serves satisfactorily in the Regular Army or In the active National Guard for a period of at least two years, shall, in time of peace, be relieved of any liability to serve In any reserve component of the TOPICS was disappointing. And the people. The taxi was no different, nor the porters. There were no veils and no frezes.

The streets and shops were European, Her hotel proprietor spoke English for tie had lived a long time in America. Before she went up in the elevator to her room an English speaking guide offered to take her sight seeing the following day. Maurlne was bewildered. Sights, of course there must be sights to see. But first she wanted to collect her thoughts.

Why was she here anyhow and what did she want to The lady will call you when she needs you Gregorle," said a man, and then added something in Turkish. Maurine thanked the stranger for his kindness. "You see, I really don't know yet what I want to.do," "Of course, I have just told the guide." The man had a gentle, quiet voice, friendly, appealing. He had sad, disillusioned eyes in a young face. Maurine suddenly knew that this quiet man would know why she had come to Constantinople.

She hurried to her room. land or naval forces of the United States and from further liability for the training and service under subsection (b), but nothing in this subsection shall be construed to prevent any such man, while in a re- reserve component of such forces, from being ordered or called to active duty in such forces." DOES IT MEAN WHAT IT SAYS? The two paragraphs are presented goes into the reserve. As long as he's sections mean what they say, all this congressional and public wrangling has been unnecessary. It doesn't do any good to argue with lawyers, but competent government lawyers who don't wish to be quoted because they don't want to get tangled up In all this mess, support the construction that any eighth grade class in syntax would put on those paragraphs, viz and to wit: When a drafted man has completed his first year of service, he goes into the reserve. As long as he's in the reserve, he can be ordered or called to active duty in such forces and kept there.

In other words, as soldiers completed their twelvemonth training period, they could immediately be tapped on the shoulder with a remark such as, "Sorry, buddy, but since you're in the reserve now, and since we need the reserves in actice service for a spell longer, just turn around and go back to your barracks. We can do this because here's where it says so in the law." AH this, would have to be put in the language of a formal order, but the soldiers would get the point without difficulty either way. ONLY ONE OUT The only possible restriction to this interpretation comes in the tion (b) part, where It says that congress must declare that the national Interest Is imperiled. Well, a simple congressional resolution would have taken care of that, and then it would have been up to the president to take the rap by ordering the boys from the reserve status back into their active duty status for up to 10 years. As a matter of fact, congress is declaring the national interest Imperiled as part of its amendments to the selective training and service act providing for the new additional one and a half years' service.

Why the 1 simpler procedure was not followed is something you'll have to ask-the 500 members of congress, It was a case of bad handling right from the start. The original act carried all the authority needed to keep the men in service. The trouble that the act wasn't "sold" to the country in its full import. It was sold a year's service. Therefore It had to be resold as a new bill of goods.

That's why all the confusion. EDITOR'S NOTE: While Tex Wcese is on vacation this suace being filled each day by -a different writer. Incidentally, DeWeese none of the copy before he left said he had no desire to censor any It. So here's today's miest columntot: BY BILL BROWNE As I take my typewriter keyboard In hand, I begin to wonder at the self-confidence with which I assured Tex DeWeese last week that I would attempt to fill his figurative shoes for a day. I could have stammered a little.

Had I even laughingly said nnd then should somehow heve an easier conscience as the task presses down on me. BUt no. I said bluntly. So here we blank pieiie of paper and stare at one another. That curl In the paper must be a sneer.

One my assignment. I'm tearing my hair, -Now I'm up pacing the floor. Now I'm down. I lead with a left forefinger arid cross with a hard right. I feint twice with a left and then back pedal.

Now It's all X'ed out, and circle my problem again looking for an opening. Ah, ladies and gentlemen, what a battle! You should be here to see'lt. I've heard it said that Tex De- Weese takes some of the bright things he writes in his column from the works of others, Remember his column on boners? Tsk, Tsk. All the boners, I guess, came from "The Pocket Book of Boners." Now, I have that book of boners right here at my right hand, but will I a single boner from it? A thousand times no. For at my left hand Is a house organ in which I've found, a poem you business men will ap- predate: "Keep your temper, gentle sir.

Writes the manufacturer. Though your goods are overdue, For a month or maybe two, We can't help it, please don't swear; Labor's scarce and steel is rare. Can't get chrome; can't get dies; These are facts; we tell Harry's drafted; so is Bill. All our work is now uphill. So your order, we're afraid, May be still a bit delayed.

Still, you'll get it, don't be vexed, Maybe this month, maybe next. Keep on hoping, don't say die. We'll fill your order bye and bye. This poem, Incidentally, Is, ah. letter framed by a manufacturer and sent to his customers who were clamoring for his goods, Doesnt that reflect one of the finest Amer-' icanlsms? A sense of humor? Great'dayl I've expressed an ideal.

There follows a round of handshaking here in the office. The word goes out to the other rooms and others crowd in to congratulate me must beat labor to it in removing the just causes of complaint. L. COOKE, OPM. If you did not know sp much I wouWp't be afraid of you.

you are so darn smart and know so much that you have become gerous figure. r-Sertator'TOM CONNALLY, Tex- as, tp price ad- Cranium Crackers Everyday Problems Knowledge of mathematics will help, but just plain old pencil and paper will serve you well enough to solve these tricky problems about play, work and travel, 1. A tramp must have six cigaret butts to make a full-sized cigaret, He has 36 butts. How many cigarets can he smoke? 2. Harry is working on a big job, The first day, he works alone.

The second day George, who works one and one-half times as fast as Harry, joins him for two days. On the third day, Ed, who works twice as fast as George, -comes in for a couple of days, The work is finished on the fifth day. If Harry had-worked alone, how many days it have taken him to do the job? 3. Elmer drives 338 miles from Cleveland, Dear Diary: Guess what I on slower highway, and 26 in towns and suburbs, If a third the time spent driving through towns and suburbs, and. half Of time on the open Jitghway is drjyfn at the fast speed, how long does take Blmer to drive Wp on having expressed In my column.

Characteristically, I hang my hea'd and say with a slow smile: "Shucks, fellers. Ba-hoop. weren't noth- UV." And, by Jove, 't weren't. Just came across a Christmas menu dated 1879 from the Maxwell HoUse Nashville, Tenn. Dinner hours, it says, are "from 1V4 to 4 p.

How do you like these 'for "Grcfese Pieces "Boned Wild Boar's Head, a. la Royale" or "Buffalo Toh- giies, Decorated Bridge And if you like game, how about 'Leg of Cumberland Mountain filack Bear, Sauce Poivra'de" or "Tenhfcsp- see Opossum, Baked with Sweet Potatoes, Old Virginia Style" or may be "Kentucky Coon with Devil's i J' For dessert we suggest "Pine pies in Champagne." And your drink: either "English or "French Coffee." Listen, Browne, this brain spradi mind got to stop. What about your column? Or whatever it is you're supposed to be writing? What about that, Browne? Well, I don't know how to write a column. What do readers want in a column anyway? -Ask 'em, you dope. Okay.

Here I am. down town askr ing people what they' would write a column about if they were Tex DeWeese. Jay King would try to make peo- 4 pie burst with Tell 'em, says Jay, that Hitler is about licked. Tell 'em birds are singing; there's a boom on; the sun Is good, the rain is good, too. Lowell Fendrick (in one of his moods) would deplore double parking, holes in paving and low hanging branches that knock off his glasses.

Mrs. LeRoy Blackmon would dlf get sharp rebukes at the mud that gets on her shoes when it rains. McCarley would write about Tex DeWeese, but we couldn't that. He would use everybody's nariiie in his column, He went on to say he and Doc Owens.and Bert Howell are taking up water skiing and aquaplaning at Lake McClellan, Water skis (or shees if you're over-literate)' are just like snow skis. Imagine staying on top of the water on a pair of those.

V. S. Keahey said he' wouldn't write a column. He ain't at anybody. And when he does' get mad with somebody, he usually ends up deciding the trouble is really with himself, he says.

Does the Wisdom of that attitude strike Okay. There's your column, Well, thanks for the space, -Tex. Doubt if I'll ever seem the saine again. Imagine! Daily Columnist Wf a day! fl.