IRON COUNTY REPUBLICAN. Published every Saturday by X7ILBT7H II. EUTDGIIAN, , .. . Editor and Proprietor. SUBSCRIPTION PRICK Cne ;ear ............ $2 08 Elx mouths. ......................... ........ 1 CO Three months. - SO MORE OR LESS HUMOROUS. "Doctor, my wife has insomnia lies awake most of the night. What shall I do for her?" "Get home earlier." Life. Fourthbell "Your cook has been with you a long time, has she not?" Brownstone "We have been vitu her five years." Puck. Mrs. Elmore "I wonder how many stops that new organ of Be Smyth's I12.3 got?" Elmore "Only three, I should judge, j One for each meal." Buffalo Times.' First; Traveler "Does the frain slop here long enough to let you get something to eat?" Second Traveler 'No; just long enough to lei you pay for what you order." Tit-Bits. Traveler (at the restaurant) "These sandwiches are fearfully small!" Restaurant keeper "What's the " difference? The trains only "wait here one. . minute." Port Jervis Gazette. "I suppose you know all about the financial question?" said the intimate friend. "I don't say that I know all about it," replied the candidate, "but I know enough not to talk about it." Washington Star. "You don't need any return check," said the doorkeeper. "I'll know your face when you come . back." "I don't know whether you will or not;" said to stand off for my drink is about twenty pounds heavier than I am." Indianapolis Journal. Ragged Haggard (musingly) "Dis , gamblin' in stocks is mighty risky business; to-day you make a t'ousand dollars an' tomorrow you lose twice as much." Wabbly Walker (who has a bulging brow) "If dat's de way it goes I've 4 got a scheme dat will beat de game!" "What is it?" "Gamble today and lay off tomorrow." New York World. . The new tenant visits the family cn the floor below. After a few complimentary remarks the lady says: "Shall I call my daughter to play something for you on. the piano?. You haven't heard her yet." "Oh, yes I have; and. to tejl the truth, the landlord let me have the apartments a third cheaper on that account." Texas Sittings. CONUNDRUMS. Why are ships always called "shes?" Because the rigging costs more than the hull. If thirty-two is the freezing point,. what is the squeezing point? Two in the shade. Whit does a man take when he has a mean wife? He takes an elixir (he licks her). Why is a solar eclipse like a mother beating her boy? Because it is a hiding of the son. When did Caesar first go to the Irish? W&en he crossed the Rhine and went back to bridge it. When did George Washington first take a carriage ?-WWhen he took a hack at the cherry tree. What was Joan of Arc made cf? Maid of Orleans. What killed her? Too much hot stake. What two cities in France remind one of the trousers worn by dude3? Toulouse and Toulon. Why was Noah like a hungry cat? He went forty days and forty night3 without finding Ararat. Why is a man called honorable who is upstairs beating his wife? He is above doing a mean act. Why is it easy to get into an old man's house?. Because his gait is broken and his locks are few. Why is Satan , always a gentleman? Because, being -the imp of darkness, he can never be imp-o'-light. When is paper money first mentioned in the Bible? When the dove brought the green back to the ark. Why is a man who makes pens very wicked?. He makes people steel pens and then says they , do right. . Why "may carpenters reasonably 'be-lieve there is nonsuch thing as stone? Because they never saw it. When does the rain- become too fa miliar to a lady? When it begins" to J pat her (patter) on the back. Why was Goliath surprised when he was struck by a stone?. Because such a thing had never entered his head before. RAM'S HORNS. There can be no growth where there is doubt. When you travel, remember that God is everywhere. There are too many people who pray one way and live another. To put a mountain under your feet, mount up on the wings of faith. j There is sure to be a famine in the heart that is closed against Christ. When you shake hands with a young convert, don't do it with two fingers. The best thing for brightening the complexion, is sunshine in the heart. Whenever a good man stumbles, the devil finds a way to advertize the fact. The man who prays only for himself, cannot love his neighbor as he should THIS GHOST WAS A REAL ONE. MCpU Steve" Turned Pale at the Ap ": parltion in the Foe. Many years ago, before Mr. Orum-mond had become the owner of a fleet and controlled it from an office in this city, he was a navigator of the waters of the great lakes and was known all the vay from Buffalo to Duluth as "Capt. Steve," says the Detroit Journal. Steamboat's burned wood in those days and up near Sarnia, on the Canadian side, there was . a wood station known as Corona and the proprietor of the dock was a man named Baxter a man as small as Grummond was large. The two were warm personal friends and for years the captain had made it a point to be short of wood whenever he neared Baxter's dock. One day the captain was upward bound, had a hold full of fuel and went steaming by without stopping. On his previous downward trip he had found Baxter quite ill and was on the look out for him. He hugged the Canadian shore, but when he came abreast the dock could not descry the figure of his friend among the piles of wood. Oth ers were there and the captain made a trumpet of his hands and hailed: "Where's Baxter?" The reply came but indistinctly - to his ears, but he heard the unwelcome words: -"Dead. Buried yesterday." - The captain was shocked by thein- tenigence and was remarkably quiet for a sailor on that -trip. When he neared Corona on his return he whistled for a landing and remarked that while the crew was getting a hold of wood aboard he would go up to the house, learn the circumstances of Bax ter's death and speak a few consoling words to the widow. it was dark when the steamer reached the dock, and it was also fog gy. Even the outlines of a pile of wood could not be discerned six feet away, and when the captain stepped ashore to make a selection he called for a lantern. ; Everybody knows the peculiar shapes objects take on when swathed in fog, weird and grotesque, even though in distinct. The captain walked along a pile to its far end and then raised the lantern above his head to see the height of the pile and estimate the number of cords it contained. As he did so there appeared beneath his up raised arm the dim outlines of a male figure, the features ghastly pale in the gray of the fog, but' beyond question the features of the dead Baxter. Capt. Grummond used to say that he was never so frightened in his life. He dropped the lantern, staggered back ward, caught a heel against an ob struction and fell. Somebody picked up Dotn mm ana tne ngnt. LU. was 1 11. 1 -m , m 'mm - . . Baxter. i .The mystery lay in the fact that the man upon the dock had announced me aeatn ana ounai or Mrs. Jtiaxter as a sufficient reply to the hail of Capt Grummond as he was upward bound. Few Sunstrokes In Japan. "This is my first visit to America and I am delighted with everything but the weather," said Mr; T K. Date, a bright young Japanese gentleman. "I am greatly astonished to, read in your papers of the numbers of people who die from excessive heat. In Tokyo we have three months of very hot weather, just about the, sort, that you have in Washington, but it is a. rare thing for any of my countrymen to expire from sunstroke. I think one reason that such deaths are infrequent in Japan is that the .people dress in much lighter clothing than they do in the United States. They also are more temperate in the matter of food and drink;- eat ing no meats and drinking no very ardent spirits. The rice beer that. the natives make" contains some percentage of alcohol, but it Isn't strong enough to do much hurt." Washington Post. 4 A Witty Prelate. The stories that are told of Arch bishop Ryan's wit would fill a small volume. A well-known priest called upon him one day to ask for a vacation on the. ground that his health re quired it. As he .was noted for his frequent absences from his parish, the prelate could not let slip the opportuni ty. He granted the leave of absence promptly, witli a recommendation : ine pnysicians say tnat you need a change of air, father?" "They, do, your grace." "How would it do, then, to try the air of your parish for a month or two as a change?" He remonstrated with a priest whose silk hat had seen its best days before the war. "I would not give up that hat for twenty new ones," said the priest. "It belonged to my father, who fell in the rising of '48." "And evidently fell on the hat' said the archbishop. A Suicidal Crate. For a long time. Parisians have been spared the spectacle of persons throw ing themselves from the tops of the high monuments, . such as the Ven-dome and Bastile columns. Now this craze of suicides has started afresh. Some "days ago a young woman mount ed to the platform between the towers of Notre Dame, deliberately climbed the parapet and threw herself over. Death was instantaneous. X Kays Proved Him Sane. A Hamburg young man has just had his sanity proved by ,the Roentgen rays. He declared ten years ago- that he had a bullet in his head, which he had fired into it in trying to commit suicide. He complained of pain, and, as he attacked his keepers and the doctors could find no trace of a wound, was locked up as a dangerous lunatic The Roentgen rays have now shown the exact place of the bullet. 1 HELPS HER HUSBAND. WISCONSIN WOMAN LAWYER AND POLITICIAN. The Wife of Ex-Congressman t Follette Studied Law That Their Wedded Life Might Be More Con-cental at the Capital. .' MONG the successful public men of the country who owe much of their distinction to their wives Robert La Follette of Wisconsin is one of the most fortunate. Mr. La Follette has. already been in the state legislature and in congress, and at the republican state convention recently held was one of the leading candidates for governor. Like Mrs. Bryan, the wife of the presidential candidate, Mrs. La Follette is a lawyer, and like her, too, she has never practiced her profession; having studied law that she might strengthen and broaden the rare sympathy and unity that ' exist between her. husband and herself. Like Mrs. Bryan, also, Mrs. La Follette is close at her husband's side in all his undertakings, adding to womanly counsel a deeper insight into his work and undoubtedly proving sl factor in his career, the importance of which he would be the last to deny. Mrs. La Follette's scholastic career has been a very remarkable one. Before her marriage she was a Miss Belle WESTWARD Henry Norton, a painter who has lived in Camden, N. J., for several years is now on his way to Albert Lea, Minn., on bicycle, over the rear wheel of which he has constructed a platform and above this he placed a tent. The platform is large enough to afford space for. his wife and two children as well as a few cooking utensils. Thus equipped he expects to make one hun dred miles a day, Chase of Baraboo, where she was born in 1859, and after four years in the high school of that city she entered the state university in the same class with her future husband. Curiously enough, she was probably his most formidable opponent for oratorical honors, for though Mr. La Follette won the great intercollegiate debate, Miss Chase car ried off the : Lewis prize for oratory when the two graduated in 1879. Mrs. La Follette's oration on commencement day of that year Was a remarkable one in many ways. Instead of attempting fo solve the problem of the universe in sweet girl graduate fashion she took cs MRS. R. M. LA FOLLETTE. her subject the care and education cf children. When these two brilliant young stu dents were married two or three years later their friends predicted a career for them that has In no mean measure been verified. Mr. La Follette was at that time serving as district attorney at Madison and soon after her marriage Mrs. La Follette entered the law school of the state university, paving the way by her easy mastery of its studies and the earnestness of purpose and strength of mind which she brought to bear up on them for all the women who have since been graduated from that institution. Her course completed. Mrs. La Follette stepped back Into a purely Co- i raestic life which she has never sine 3 i left. But home affairs did not en her to the extent of shutting out her in terest in her; husband's career raid when he went to - Washington as , the youngest member of .the forty-ninth congress Mrs. La Follette, of course, went with him and during his six years or service there gained a wide knowl edge of the political as well as the so cial life of the capital. Her friends say that Mrs. La Follette would make a clever politician herself, so much does she know of political matters and so shrewd are her judg ments and so wise her opinions, Present and Past In Hungary. . Traveling through Hungary is trav eling through ten centuries of history. In utter contrast to the United States, where everybody Is successfully striv ing to be like everybody else, Hungary Is like one of those mountains in India, on the top of which is eternal ice and descending on its elopes through all floras we finally reach tropical exuber ance at the bottom. At Buda-Pesth the visitor will find all the refinements and latest innovations of our breathless time. Two hcurs by rail from Buda- Pesth, the calm and simplicity of pre-renaissance times will embrace him In one of the old manors, built mostly by architects or in the style of the Italian quattrocento, with vaulted rooms, en ormous hall, one story high, musing in the breezy shade of poplars and beech es. This variety of humanity naturally gives rise to that most exquisite of things, to types. For the poet, the art ist, the thinker and for all who need types full of rugged ipse, Hungary is the land. But for the obstacle of the languages, Hungary would long ago ON A WHZE L. Norton is a painter and has been out of work for some time. A brother who lives in Minnesota promised him work if he would go out there. He had no money to pay railroad fare and' Was wondering what he was to do when he saw a bicycle parade, and that gave him the idea for his tent on a wheel. He immediately set to work and constructed his raft and a few days ago started on his journey. have become the favorite study of novelists. As her music has a minor scale differing from that of western music, so her peoples ascend and descend the gamuts of sentiments in intervals arid rhythms different from occidental emotionality. Nineteenth Centurv. How a Jeweler Cleans Jewels. First have your little box of jeweler's sawdust. To clean the jewels some warm water, castile soap and a .oft brush are necessary. A few drops of ammonia in the water will be a help. Scrub them very gently with the brush and a little soap. The brush will remove the dirt under the stones very easily. Rinse well with hot water, dry in a towel and put in your sawdust till needed. The latter will absorb all moisture that is left, and, when shaken off, will leave the gems very brilliant. Put them into It each time after wearing. They will keep clean for a long time, as the sawdust removes particles of dirt. Castile soap contains less grease than any other kind; hence its use fcr this purpose. i The Progressive Japi. Mr. Hurst, the British consul at Tainan, in southern Formosa.concludes h's latest trade report by saying that the Japanese are showing great energy in the development of the Internal communications of the land, and during the five months that had'passed at the date of the report in March since they landed left more marks of their presence on the face . of the country than their predecessors effected in as many decades. ' ' Hanging: On to the' Five.: Newton F. Hurst, 24 years old, is a grocer's clerk in Buffalo and gets $5 a week wages. Some time ago he invented a car couplerand lat week he received a letter from a manufacturing firm offering him $30,000 in cash and a royalty on all couplers sold for his in vention. -He hasn't decided to accent th- offer yet, and in the meantima holds on to his $5 a week. GAIL . DODGE'S LIFE. A WOMAN WHO HAS LEFT HER MARK IN THE WORLD. Xhe Life-Lone; Friend . of - James O. Blalne-r-Her Early Life as a School-Teacher and Governess Was a Forcible Writer. HE late Abigail Dodge, or Gail Hamilton, was best known probably from her pungent and rather erratic writings and the strong espousal of the political fortunes of James G. Blaine. -She was of a family of four brothers and one sister. She was born in Hamilton, Mass., in April, 1833. Her father's name was James B. Dodge, and her mother was Hannah Stanwood of Hollowell, Me. Jacob Stanwood, a brother of Hannah, was the father of Mrs.James G. Blaine, and thus the relations, cemented by friendship, between Miss Dodge and the Blaine family came about. Miss Dodge was led into close friendship with Mr. Blaine, and at the death of the latter she became his literary executor, be ing in possession of all his papers and documents of value to her as his au thorized biographer. She was engaged as frequently as her health would per mit on Mr. Blaine's biography from the time of his death until her illness of last year, and it is thought her untiring devotion to the work was instru mental in bringing about that pros tration. The scene of her birth was a ramblnlg old house, now standing near the Methodist camp meeting grounds. It belonged to Gail's grandfather, Jon athan Dodge, and there she lived with her parents until the old man died. The family property was then divided, and James Dodge with his children moved to a small house near the Wen-ham Station. Miss Dodge had begun to acquire considerable success and prominence as a writer when' her father and moth er died, and she then was able to buy the place which she made her home. Miss Dodge atended the public schools in Hamilton until she was 13 years old. She then went to Cam bridge to Dr. Alvah Smith's' school. This was a fashionable old training school in its day for the young folks Of the old colony families. Thence ehe went to the Ipswich Academy in Ips-wioii, kept by the Rev. John P. Cowles, and. there the finishing touches of her school education were received. This, too, was a celebrated school in those times, though now only a weather Deaten, aesertea 01a building and a reyered memory remain. Miss Dodge then had attained her twentieth year, and as a starter in taking care of her self she detrmined to teach school. A place Was offered her in the Hartford, Conn., high school. Her peculiar inde pendence was brought out in that. Gail refused to pass any examination to prove her fitness for the place. The committee members firmly insisted that such were the conditions all young teachers had to undergo. Miss Dodge, however, was obdurate. GAIL HAMILTON. (From an old print, reputed to be the only picture Miss Dodge ever had taken.) "If you don't like me," said she, "you can fire me. I can try it, and later developments will be the best tests of my capability." Try it she did, and a pleasant Impression it was that she made. Miss Dodge as a pupil had been quick to learn and brilliant in the expression of her thoughts. Her scholarship, however, was not considered as thor- ougn or nnisnea Dy ner teacners as that of her sister, Hannah. Her quick ness and gift of expression and com munication, however, stood her in good stead m tne scnooiroom, ana is not a .little the element to which she owed success as a writer and "maker of books." From Hartford she entered the family of Prof. Bailey , the mathemati cian, and former editor of the National Era, as' governess. She occupied that position for some time, and left it to engage in literary pursuits. Gail Hamilton, as. her books show, was a ready and vigorous writer. She threw her works off with steam engine 1 speed. She said she had no literary methods. She did the greater part of her writing in the morning and gave the afternoon to recreation, which meant walking or riding. She was a famous pedestrian. Her books are the result, as she put it, of outside irritation. This, translated into a homely illustration, means that she was something like the Irishman, who "when he saw a head hit it." She needed some cause to excite -her interest, or some measure to arouse her contempt, to start her pen. Her writings, as a result, are largely polemical, dealing with current topics - and questions of controversy. Her style of thought and manner of expression are vigorous and masculine. The latter characterization, together with her pseudonym, led many to mistake her sex. She selected Gail from the latter part of Abigail and Hamilton from the town of her birth. ouuie ui uer oesi Known dooks are; 1 n rr f ttt a - -m Worthleesness," "Scientific - Farming. i ur common scnooia." "What ThlnK - a biuuv or rnn TPcnm rn w of the English Bible; "A Battle of the j Books," and "Woman's Wrongs." Miss i i-wage s peculiar onslaught on political 1 methods and politicians that displeas- ed her are known. This same inde 1 penaent, seir-assertlon marks her in her social relations. She was little known Jo the villagers at Hamilton, despite the fact that her life has been passed there. She traveled much. A Pullman car .conductor tells an amusing story of his experience with her. Miss Dodge and Mrs. Blaine were once traveling together on j& pass made out for Mr. and Mrs. Blaine. The conductor looked at the pass and then quietly asked which was Mrs. Blaine. That woman nodded, and the conductor then; asked Gail for her ticket. "Ticket," said she, "why, I am Mr. Blaine." And she was for that trip. Shrewd as Miss Dodge was, however, she occasionally was taken in. An illustration was the faith she placed in Mrs. Howe and her woman's bank scheme. Miss Dodge was indignant with the newspapers when they started to expose the fraud, and herself went so far as to write an article for the Atlantic Month- 1 ly in defense. HALE JOHNSON. The Prohibition Candidate for the Vice Presidency. Hale Johnson, candidate for Vice-President on the national Prohibition ticket, is a good, patriotic citizen, withj HALE JOHNSON, worthy and spotless record. He was named for John P. Hale, the free soil candidate for President in 1852, was. educated in the common schools.fought for the flag of his country from the time he was 17 until he reached his majority, and when peace was restored he became an instructor in a public school. Mr. Johnson moved with his family frbm Indiana to Ill.no a af .er.the war. In 1871 he married Mary E. Loof-burrow of Washington Court House, Ohio. In 1875 he was admitted to the bar of Illinois, and since 1877 he has practiced in the town of-Newton with Judge James W. Gibson for his partner. Mr. Johnson was a republican before he became & prohibitionist. He served the' republican party as delegate to its local and state conventions and might have had no small honor in return had he not preferred to retire from It. Since that time he has been prominent in prohibition politics and was named for governor by the state convention. Just as he was developing as a strong candidate he was transferred to fha national ticket. DR.. MARSHALL HANDLES. He Was Recently Given t HIjh Compliment b-r KritUh Methodists. Rev. Dr. Marshall Randies, who was recently elected president of the Wea-leyan conference of England, is per haps the most prominent of the British Methodists. By birth and training he is a Lancashire man. As long ago as 1850 he offered himself a candidate for the Wesleyan ministry and was accepted. Then he entered Didsbury Theological College, and under the tutorship of the late Dr. Hannah he served the full term in a number of the best cir cuits of the church.. For seventeen years he has acted as chairman of elx districts," chiefly in his native county, and in Yorkshire. When Rev. Dr. W. B. Pope retired from . the theological professorship at Didsbury College, Dr. Randies was elected to his "chair and has since exerted a powerful influence in molding the thought of the rising ministry of this connection. In 1891 Montreal College, which is affiliated with the great McGill University of DR. MARSHALL RANDLES. ' Canada, conferred upon him the hono rary degree of doctor of divinity. Dr. Randies is the author of several books. He is a frequent contributor to English periodical literature and is known to the Methodist ministry of the United States. m ii '-1 !!
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