Times Herald from Olean, New York • Page 26

PAGE FOURTEEN CLEAN EVENING TIMES WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25, 1923 CLEAN EVENING TIMES We're Going to Have a Hard Time Explaining ESTABLISHED of 1 the PAST Daily Paper is Cattaraugus County EcttreJ it N. CXM S-'KsiK'fa ty O-tt By Mill. Sior is S. Kl Jerk; A. K.

ior. THE OLEAX TIMES PUBLISHING COMPANY ef AUDIT BUREAU CIFCv'-AT ION-AMERICAN A PUBLISHERS' ASSOCIATION M. G. FITZPATKICK, WEDNESDAY, APRIL 25.1923 STRAIGHT-FROM-THE-SHOULDER The public opinion of President Harding's good; sense will be greatly enhanced by the straight-from-1 the-shoulder address he delivered yesterday to thej newspaper publishers of America in convention in' New York. Flatfootedly.

the president reaffirmed; that so far as he could direct affairs. America would i not enter the League of Equally flatfootedlv. the president served notice that he will not abandon the world court plan because of the opposition to it within his party. He extolled the merits of the tribunal as containing the highest hopes for permanent world peace, and announced his intention of going through with it. Mr.

Harding knows that in making this declaration he is challenging not only his political opponents, but also the "irreconcilables" in his own party. He is not afraid to state his stand and America loves such But there is more than that in Mr. Harding's address. His arguments for a world court show good sense; they are founded upon facts and built upon sound reasoning. Mr.

Harding recognizes the difficulties in the way of the establishment of-an international court but he is not afraid to tackle the job of trying to establish it. He believes the American neoule, who are avowedly 1 (ems tamered Inm tiki tite ViHA is as PLACE WHAT ASS FC2ESTS PRIZE WINNER In a Pullman smoking compartment we heard a very rich man boasting that he had won a season baseball pass in a "guessing contest" conducted by a newspaper. "I nights for a chuckled, "and flamed if 1 didn hit it just right' i a rough way we now the arnoun this man's I wealth, by reputation, and we figure that it cost him the' at leasfc 500 worth of time to in the prize that he i. could have bought for less than Of course he out in spare time, but spare time is valuable APRIL 25. 1903 An roosier kept employ- of the American Express and bystanders busy trying to capture hiuj.

He was finally. summer. USING OUR BRAINS This is a clay of records and the breaking of rec-' ords. AH army airplane stays aloft 36 hours, cover- ing 2,516 miles. That record was made by applying brains to devel- i and unmistakably against the League of Nations, will i op ment of machinery.

It the" modern method of in time realize that the world court is the only solu-1 magnifying man's small individual power by using the tion of the problem of our participation in world affairs without entangling ourselves in the meshes of a league that has so far failed to function to satisf action. orces of nature. We shall never construct a flying mechanism equal to that of the birds. But the bird must rely upon his own energy, the airplane can draw upon that stored up in the earth. So the airplane can outstrip the bird.

Hello Folks, ain't fhat it used to be, repratfii one- f. "em recently. Fore! Mary's flivver had a 1mm But the steam train had no bell The steam train couldn't, stop ill time So the flivver went too, too. It's Different Now Dyna Mite fays a blajik hook and Maud Miller, on a summer day. baby's mind is somehow mighty a ked the meadows, sweet with Man no longer relies upon his physical powers for km--both of 'em's vir son for i liay rLor Af fct i "'4ame! Bl hat wa manT Tcars Vo- many just get scribbled on.

jwben April was devoid of sS WISDOM AND HUMOR During the world-war and in the years of its'swift, continuous movement. It is brain power, ri aftermath, we have been told, the world largely lost I trol of mind over matter, that carries him along. its sense of humor. It was hard to find spontaneous! Long-distance dancing requires no brains, just a humor: it was difficult to raise a laugh. fool with good muscles in legs and feet and a good Yet in a single issue of the Clean times of several) heart.

This country does not need marathon dancers days ago there were two news dispatches, one from! but it does need long-distance thinkers who by using London the other from New York, which showed their brains can make our useful mechanical devices that the world's sense of humor is returning-. I still more useful. In England a labor leader, discussing the Ruhr I A record like that of the army aviator referred to situation, says: "Prance is using a whale as bait to means something to the world. I'ur ic-voud assistant chief i'e can- i x- i Patrick Toohev of; from Ins occupation during general working hours of Hose and Andrew Shelin (lav. Eliminate the cash end, it doesn't matter much.

For he'd have been iust as elated if he had won a prize of 51. The TMnird :3 8 ow cx a 1 tllis rien "lau's jubilation over StseVf Wa a victory that wasn't worth tiie price it cost--to him? Hi" Ifl I fh explanation probably is, "He got some- rr.c-:r thing for nothing. There is no thrill like finding money--getting it without effort. Probably this is a reaction from the enslaving system that keeps our noses to the stone. The average millionaire gets a bigger thrill rom nKUn a 5 goldpiece than from cleaning A.

e. met a't tile Empire $1000 in a business deal. And, no matter how valuable lull rooms lo arrange for a series tirnp 1 1P rlplov hf wiss inlpiif- nn and athletic events to be held dur- 111 UU1L iu ut lie lllieiU Oil, ailQ search the premises to see if more $5 goldpieces are nearby. You know how this weakness persists in our subconscious niinds and rises to the conscious surface during dreams in which we find coin after coin until our pockets are filled. "Something for nothing" is the lure that wastes time and takes the suckers' savings.

A greater motive than "something for nothing" pen- however, animated the rich man in the baseball guessing contest. His thrill, as victor, came mostly from the realization that in winning he demonstrated cleverness superior to that of the other contestants. In a battle of wits, he won. That is the motive of your "business genius," as much as and often more than the actual accumulation of profits. Vanity--pride--is our motive in the things we do, a lot oftener and to greater extent than any of us realize.

APRIL 23. 1013 The honors for Ihe. class of the Ulean school an- luminced by Principal Pierre. Mips Klizabeth Conklin was first with I Uudolph SaucII'nrg. second.

Miss Maude M. Andrews of Corn- I was encased ns tuberculosis nurse hy Ihe local tuberculosis committee of the Stale Charities (Aid Asfciation. I The of jiioned the Board of Education to provide iheui wilh a playground. EDITORIAL DRAGNET catch a small fish." He means the game will not be worth the candle, financially. Strongheart.

Indian chief who toured as a Liberty Loan speaker, visits New York, goes to the top of the Woolworth building. He says the view from there was excellent until he noticed the Statue of Liberty, which reminded him that "liberty is offered to almost all persons except those who originally owned the country." He refers to thousands of nldians he claims are not allowed to vote. The two statements quoted -do not seem so very funny as we read them. But ponder upon them a while and you will "get" the real humor contained ini Sing a Song of Bills when weather it was all 0. K.

red. the violet's Ani1 warmed the earth for growing blue, and so is a mail when liis hay. rent falls due. Tom says prosperity does not de- I gentle spring was mild and sweet. as And llld not hoodoo summer a heat pend halt as much on politics on hustle.

When farmer man could plant Jack pays it is foolish to acouire 1 crop, a principal at the sacrifice priii- Aa uot eiple. Candidates being initiated into the league ofnations do not have to ride the goat. At present day, find ice on top. league has no goat, efforts to ours having proved futile. the set them.

They both contain an element of truth; makes them still more humorous. that OUR FORTUNATE CHOICE Henry White, one of Mr. Wilson's peace commis-i increase THE CANAL DEFENSES Senator Wadsworth, chairman of the committee on Military Affairs, has just completed an inspection of the defenses of the Panama Canal, and is in consultation with Secretary of War Weeks as to their improvement. Thre is general accord on the plan to be followed, and funds to carry them out will be asked I Thc rcport lmt 0ra aml HcarEt of Congress when the annual budget is prepared. The a- a new party sushis-is that canal is probably the most vital point of American he 1 oid one 1 sTo fenses.

If it caii be put out of service by an enemy, the efficiency of the fleet will be reduced by half. It isi understood that in its present defensive condition thei ric3 an old mau who doesn't have j. lanv money we can rjirhtly judge canal is at the mercy of battleships. Girls, who this year would meadows rake Precautions for their health should take. And put on heavy underwear.

And a coat made from Polar bear. Blessed he those who are not i rich enough to be unhappily mar-! Wc ve haa no spring this year a I From her we haven't got a call. And maybe in the summer, too- may get cold and catch the flv promises. The ancient sweet, Maud, so. fair and Sam says when a young girl mar- Went raking hay in her hare feet.

Kllt stockings, and gnm boots-! that it is a love match. heavy flannel winter suits. an cool in case of danger, provided all coolness is not in his feet. try to see how many miles they lean make ou a quart. Harry says insults arc always plentiful when one goes around looking for them.

We're sick of jokes CONCRETE EVIDENCE In 43 industries 5,543 establishments showed rease in number of employees of 2.1 per cent in I And there are more sion, say's that the present situation in'Europe would March over Februray. There was also a 5 per cent rom ram ag ram as not have occurred if the United States had consented! increase in total wages and a 2.8 per cent increase an TM anh I TMTMe b'rew- to enter the league of nations. Probably not, but) average weekly wages. There, we have concrete fanned her affoctfoiTon cats that ve toractbing new where would this country be now if we had evidence of what Republican economic policies are he wcnt to 5 The energy that has made possible American doing for the workers. The figures are an index of a ityjvFould'have been expended in keeping the nations general prosperity movement that embraces the whole' country.

of Europe from each other's throats, and our people Avould have been taxed to death in maintaining a huge military police on alien soil. As between a contented America and a contented Europe, we prefer the former. Observation has taught, us that when the weather bureau predicts unsettled weather, it is more in doubt! dictment, others are still using the mails for the same! 011 0 our way they tell of a i was so hard that be- r-onld ride a porcupine through a bed of cactus and get a scratch. Suicide' Sbinimy-Shaker and Cor- torlionist Young woman for hanging up. shaking out and folding.

Wages $12 weekly, with bon- Ti7i -i nn i i us to start. Applv Tailor Laundry. While 92 fake oil-stock promoters are under m-U-ir, natimrst street. in Tor- Ultimately the endurance-dancing championship will go to someone who can remain in motion in his or her sleep. Tom says the intelligent compositor that made it read bill weevil wasn't far wrong.

Nellie says the difference between the average pinyer-pinno and the average piano player is that the former can be stopped. Pencil Stub to Office they say the stuffs hard to get nowadays but I notice that old Fountain Pen seems to keep prettv ng Telegram. than usual about probable conditions. old purpose. 1 If only some motorists "TonTe stuffing me," said wouldn't I mattress to the factory hand.

the This summer wear if weather man The cold waves does not quickly can. If be does not soon turn on heat, 'Twill be no reason for bare feet. Sad words are these, know for a. falling temperature." Tom W. Jackson in the Brooklyn Standard-Union.

The back seats ofa movie are usually the coolest, but sometimes you find row as hot as H. Waking the Dead A Yankee soldier while in England iras being shown over an old church beneath whose floor there were many graves. "A great many people. sleep within these walls," said the guide solemnly, as he indicated the inscription-covered floor. Is that replied the Yankee.

"Same way over in our country. Why don't you get n. more interesting preacher?" -Magazine. With little girls playing marbles instead oC dolis, posterity may find it hard to get raised. While not as good as a dollar, a nickel does its best.

It goes church more often. Pertinent Query "Mamma, when people are In inciiniing do they wear black nightgowns?" "Why of course not" "Well, don't they feel just as bnrt in the night as they do in ihe Iloston Transcript. A baby's idoa of honvi-n is a place where it is against the law for its father to sing. Give the L)oc a Chance Did the doctor take your temperature? I don't think so. All I've missed PO far is my watch.

Cactus Xecdle. It Worked Phyllis didn't seem to take interest in me until I told her I had au uncle worth a million. That, explains tt. Explains what? Why phe was riding with your uncle last New York An Eye fo the Main Chance "Jsaac! Isaac! I can hear man snorin' uiiflcr the bed! He must bo a burglar!" "Hush, Itehecea! Don't vake him, an' lcn ve vill charge him for a lodgin' in de morniu'I" -London The Motorist's Mother Goose By BERTON BRALEY Mary. Mary, quite How does your motor go? It skips and hisses, it knocks and misses And stalls when it gets in low- Jack and Jill drove up the hill And Jack essayed to kiss her: Jack's folks are lighting o'er his will, And Mary's people miss her.

Little Miss Muffet sat on a luffet Inside her little coupe; The family chauffeur (a handsome young loafer) Quite carried Miss Muffet away. Ba! Ba! Black sheep, have you a machine? Yes, sir, yes. sir. father's limousine: I can drive it faster than father ever will. And when 1 have an accide.nl.

why father pays the bill! (Copyright, 1923, NBA Service, Inc.) BRINGING UP FATHER By McMANUS ins, mal Fatwn Smice. BY NEW HAT OF MINE A.P\P ev JOVE DEMOHTED WITH MV TOPPE.V5. A 'bTOLL. DOWN i HE. AVENUES AN' A HIT WITH MY uo: 1923 nr IKT-L FIATUBC SanKt.

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