The Missoulian from Missoula, Montana on November 20, 1938 · 19
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The Missoulian from Missoula, Montana · 19

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Missoula, Montana
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Sunday, November 20, 1938
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19
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THE SUNDAY MISSOULIAN. SUNDAY MORNING, NOVEMBER 20, 1938. 7 Advice. My husband had boon lonely; he had met a divorced woman, one of his former sweethearts, and their friendship went beyond all honorable limits. No situaticn among all trying situations that matrimony develops is harder for a woman than to discover that her husband has been unfaithful. It usually comes as a shock, this knowledge, and jit hurts and ringers and disillusions her almost beyond her powers of endurance. If she has anything of the shrew in her she very often breaks up her home on the strength of it; in most states she is entitled to a divorce, and in many cases she quite automatically gets one. "What else could she do? He was unfaithful to her," her friends say. The friends naturally don't go on to solve the many problems that the divorce causes. It is nothing to them that she is lonely; that her alimony is insufficient; that the children bitterly miss their father; that the home is broken up. No, all that means nothing to the friends. They continue to repeat, without either thought or sense, "Well, he was unfaithful to her, and so what else could she do but kick him out." Now, I am all for faithfulness in marriage, because true love and respect and honor do lead to great happiness in middle-age, the happiness known only to the long-married. And besides that, fidelity means a wholesale atmosphere for children, a better chance for happy marriages of their own some day. But at the same time I do think hundreds of wives make far too much of this matter of actual physical infidelity in marriage, and that it is as great a pity to dissolve marriages for this reason as for the so-called lesser ones. If you propose to live as a wife with any man in the world you may as well make up your mind to it that he is going to disappoint you in some of the very particulars that you can least understand and endure. Whatever he seems during your engagement, he has his faults, and his family no more thinks him a saint than your family thinks you one. Most Men Are Selfish, If you are particularly brisk and capable, longing to get at your budget and prove to him what a paragon he has for a wife, you may find him entirely indifferent to money, careless, extravagant, always in debt. If you are prompt he will always be late. He won't like your friends any better than - you do his; and he'll sigh, when you propose to go home to mama's for dinner, Just as you do when he pro poses to go to his mother's house. Almost all men are unconscious ly and completely selfish. They may be generous; they may even be patient, but this is their world, and they expect you to conform to their way of seeing things. Some husbands are so penurious that wives lead lives of shame, cramped for money in the midst of plenty. Some husbands are jealous of their children. Many are impatient, unreasonable, rude, exacting, untidy, unsocial. I have had letters from more than one wife complaining of personal uncleanness. Husbands who won't bathe, won't change their linen. More serious are other masculine faults like bad language, Intemperance, gambling, actual dishonesty. A woman wrote me not long ago that from the way money was given her she KNEW that her husband was falsifying the firm's accounts, Don t misunderstand me, I am perfectly aware that the long list of male imperfections could be matched with another long list that would include extravagance and laziness and scolding and coldness on the part of the wife. But it's a wife's letter that I'm answer' ing now; hence the reminder that all males ate faulty, and that it is naturally hard to live with a man whose faults happen to be of a nature peculiarly distressing to you. And of them all is infidelity really the worst? Her Trust Was Misplaced. "We have three children." writes this wife. "The oldest, our boy, is really the son of my dear friend who was Sam's first wife. She died seven years ago, tr.J six years ago Sam and I were married. We have two lovely little girls. That Sam was anything but completely devoted to them and to me I never dreamed. I would have killed anyone who hinted it. I loved and trusted him with all my heart. "When the children and I came back from the mountains this summer, however, I noticed a change. Something was on his mind, and presently he told me what it was. He had been lonely; he had met a divorced woman who years ago had been one of his sweethearts, and their friendship had gone beyond all honorable limits. Can't Meet Competition. "Mrs. Norris, this discovery almost killed me, and although we are still living in the same house, I have not spoken to my husband since, except when the children were present. My trust and love are destroyed. I have moved into another room and have told him frankly that our lives never can be the same. He is forty-seven; am four years younger, and the woman who is breaking up our home is only twenty-five. Can you imagine anything more disgraceful, more incomphehensible? At 44 how can I compete with a mere girl? I know I' am no longer fresh and young; but then neither is he! "But his children love him, and I dearly love my stepson, who is a delicate child and needs me. And yet how can I go on, how believe his protestations of sorrow and reform, how humiliate myself by accepting the shell of happy marriage over a breaking heart?" Well, the answer to that is, stop making a fuss about it; forgive him, and go on. It won't ever be the same? Of course it won't! No one but an idiot expects life ever to be the same. Life changes after every birth, death, marriage, trip The Superstitious Bantu By Frederic J. Haskin Washington, Nov. 19. The British government has undertaken a special study of the Bantu, a large African race group, with the hope of determining the factors that cause its continual resistance to the influence of the white man. The subject is as wide as it is fascinating. Beliefs and superstitions among the Bantu tribes are the most difficult problems that stand In the way of civilizing Africa's most peculiar race. The Bantu people, it is believed, originated somewhere in the north of Africa and migrated south many hundred years ago, but probably after the advent of the Bushmen and Hottentots. Being the most virile race of the three, the Bantu folk have spread and multiplied, while the other two peoples have gradually weakened; indeed, in the case of the little Bushmen, these have almost entirely disappeared from South Africa, leaving but few traces of their earlier habitation. In course of time the Bantu, having spread themselves over the face of the land, split into different tribes, and as the centuries rolled by they became entirely different people in many respects, though, broadly speaking, their outlook on life, their racial prejudices, and their habits remained as before. Although the Bantu have no religious beliefs as most people understand religon, they seem to believe in the existence of a supreme being or supernatural power which is stronger than they. Apparently this belief is so overshadowed by superstitious fears that, tribally, the worshipers gain no benefit from it and accordingly it does not make for either progress or civilization. They also believe that their an cestral spirits and the spirits of their dead chiefs can exercise an influence over their destinies, both tribal and indivdual. If. for instance, the anger of a particular By Kathleen Norris downtown. Children grow up, and get scars on their beautiful little foreheads, and break their arms and legs, and develop things more serious than scars and breaks in their souls and minds, and you can't stop it. Of course you're not' as attractive physically at 44 as you were at 18; you ought neither tc expect it nor think you have 8 grievance because of it. Best to Forget the Past. Face the facts and face them with courage, humor, forgiveness. If your husband is weak when a pretty woman flatters him, be glad you aren't weak that way. It doesn't hurt you that he broke his marriage vow; it hurts him. The most subtle punishment you can administer to him is to be sweet, to put it all into the past, and to go on, making of yourself a woman always more charming, more gentle, more fine, more admired by her neighbors and children. Certainly don't go back to his room. Have your own apartment; build your life anew, with a thousand interests and delights that don't depend upon his remaining your lover. But just because a flirtatious grass-widow happened to take advantage of his loneliness and your absence don't destroy five lives yours, his, the children's. You sound like a sweet and sensible woman. Just make your self face the fact that middle age is a time of readjusments, and ac cept them as they come along, not letting them hurt you. I can assure you that if you do that you will find the years ahead the ripest, the most interesting and enjoyable you ever have known. Don't make the man and his sins important enough to wreck everything you have built up to this point. (Copyright, 1938, The Bell Syndicate, Inc.) tribal spirit has been aroused, It has to be appeased by suitable sac- rilices. If this is not done the par ticular drouth or cattle plague, or any other ill from which the tribe may be suffering, will continue. The belief of the Bantu in the presence of spirts all around them is profound. Not alone ancestral spirts, but all sorts of gnomes, hob goblins and water creatures, all of them more or less evil spirts, are commonly said to be waiting to do the indivdual harm. One of the natural results of I these native beliefs is to be found in the number of murders and occasional suicides which take place In native areas largely as a conse quence of the Intrigues or witch-finders. South African native history contains many harrowing accounts of the tortures inflicted on innocent beings pointed out by some villainous tribal doctor as being the source of another's Illness or some tribal trouble. Water spirits were believed to live In many streams. A maleficent little imp called Tikoloshe was said to claim human victms, or, failing them, to be satisfied to draw cattle beneath the water. Years ago some tribes existed which believed that people, possessing cattle and goats lived beneath the streams. Animal Worship, Witch Doctors. The belief that the spirits of the dead, in the form of animals, visit .their descendants and others, probably caused the tribal veneration for many species of the fauna of the country'. One tribe will have as its emblem the lion, another the crocodile, another the puff-adder, and so on. For instance, if a particular tribe venerated the night-adder and a specimen were found in the hut of a tribesman, the man would rather vacate his domain than harm the reptile. If a mem ber of another tribe should enter the hut while the snake is there and attempt to destroy it, the first- named native would interpose to protect the snake, believed to be his ancestor. Physical disabilities in human be- ings are attributed to the machinations of evil spirits. If an individual is suffering; from epilepsy he is considered to be afflicted by a spirit, which during the attack has subbed him internally with knives. In certain of the tribes, where twins are born one must be killed at birth. It is the duty of the old women of the kraal who are in at tendance at the birth to see that only one baby lives, The foundation of this custom is that the mother has been bewitched. In fact, any abnormal occurrence at the kraal Is ascribed to but one cause witchery. Sometimes such things come to the attention of a nearby European police post and the law of the white man is applied at the expense of a native custom. There is little or no belief among the natives in ghosts as such. Tales about ghosts play a small part in native life. The burying places oi their chiefs the natives revere and keen sacred, not because they are afraid, but out of the lnoorn respect which every tribal native bears for authority. Generally speaking, there are two kinds of native doctors herbalists and witch-doctors, or witch-finders cither male or female. Sometimes the two callings are merged In the same person. The former are more or less harmless, except when they give their patients poisons as medicine, which they do occasionally. They have a considerable Knowledge of properties of the veld herbs and roots to be found in tne country side. The witchldoctor, as a rule, is i very capable and Ingenious hum buc. He has probably had his train ine at the hands of his father who too, practiced corcery, as the calling usually runs in families. Or pervitins a chief may take a fancy to a promising youth and order him to be trained by one oi me uiuai um. trim. The chief methods employed by atiph-ricwtors are well known. To discover the whereabouts of lost cat hp or nrotiertv they use what are known as dolossen, which are kept in a skin bag. These are about fifty' in number and consist of a variety of articles, generally one or two 01 eacn, suuu ua icimo lrnnrkle bones, shells, bits of root, vortPhrnnnll sorts of tilings. They are thrown out from the bag before the diviner, who is said to be guided in his divination by their relative positions on the grouna To discover the cause of sickness nr tvihnl trouble, or to indicate any person as a wizard or witch, the witch-doctor has almost untold methods. This wizardry was en-rmimffPd bv the old chiefs, whose doctors would prepare the tribe for war. The doctors held great sway over the affairs of the tribe, as they were considered a Die to preserve the people from harm, and no great undertaking was em-wvbH nn before they had been consulted. Rain-Makers Are Revered. Tn addition to their trust in the witch-doctors, the Bantu place great faith In other tribal sages known as rain-makers. In areas where drouths are frequent and in lurious. these worthies are very closely in the councils of the chiefs and are looked up to witn great re gard. Often the chiefs themselves are the chief rain-makers for the tribe. This has the effect not only of increasing their authority, but their wealth, for they are well paid A strange belief exists among the Bantu as to the origin of lightning They conceive lightning to be caused by a bird the Bird of Heav en. It is said to be a large bird with heavy dark wings and a few red breast feathers. The thunder, some say, is caused by the flapping of the wings. It strikes with its beak and makes holes in the ground. Ethnologists consider the Bantu a study of primary Importance. This race group has so far defied enlightenment's touch, and yet increased in numbers and separate tribes. The British want to know more about these strange folk but it Is likely that the Bantu will be suspicious of the study. Everybody's Cook Book Tested and Approved Another especially valuable feature of Everybody's Cook Book Is the fact that the recipes are practically all measured for small family units o: from four to six. The cook does not have to worry about how many people a certain recipe will serve, or how to reduce the quantities so that the dish produced will fit her family. Young housewives, in particular, will find this helpful. This practical cook book contains 300 receipes; 64 pages fully Indexed, with a heavy durable cover; special sections on laying the table, marketing advice, time tables for cooking and baking. Order your copy today. Fifteen cents postpaid. I'SE THIS COUPON. The Mlssoullan Information Bureau, Frederic J. Haskins, Director, Washington, D. C. I enclose herewith TEN CENTS in coin (carefully wrapped In paper) for a copy of EVERYBODY'S COOK BOOK. Name Street or Rural Route.. City State . - (Mail to Washington, D. C.) Islanders Know Sites But They Won't Tell Papeete, Tahiti. (P) Although museums and collectors have carried away most of the visible supply of old native handicraft, priceless relics still remain guarded in ancient burial caves. Some of the earlier settlers have been shown a few of these hoards, but after several violations of their confidence the Polynesians took an oath never to reveal their tombs again. White settlers say they know in a general way where some of the caves are, but the entrances are so cunningly concealed they consider it Impossible to discover them. Answers to Questions BY FREDERIC J. HASKIN A trader fun let tht mwer to n flui-nllon of (act br wrltliif tht Mia-loullun Information Bureau, Frederic J, Hkm, Director, Wnlilruton, U C. Plrau encloie three ill cent tur reply. Q. Please give the name of the conductor of the prison band at fling Sing. J, E. O. A. Music at Sing Sing is directed by a civilian bandmaster, Paul E. Clifford. He was at one time a member of Sousa's band and has been in charge of music at Sing Sing for nearly five years. Q. What countries lead in the production of platinum? J. H. A. Canada produced 259.228 ounces of platinum and allied metals in 1937, more than half the world output of 470,000 ounces for that year. The other principal producers are Russia, South America (Colombia) and South Africa. Q. What is a degree day? C. H. J. A. A degree day is the unit rep resenting a difference of one degree Fahrenheit, existing for one day between the average Indoor and outdoor temperatures. The average Indoor temperature for residences, offices, stores, etc., is taken to be 65 degrees Fahrenheit. Thus, with the Indoor temperature of 65 and the outdoor temperature of 32, the de gree day would be 65 32X133. Q. Whom did Theodore Roosevelt call our greatest secretary of state? L. W. H. A. Theodore Roosevelt wrote of Ellhu Root: "He is the ablest man I have ever met, the man on whom I most relied, to whom I owed most, the greatest secretary of State we have ever had, as great a cabinet officer as we ever had save Alexander Hamilton alone. Q. How many people In the United States can not afford med ical care? K. H. L. A. There are 40,000,000 persons in the United States with incomes of less than $800 a year who can not afford medical care. Q. What was the first newspaper in Williamsburg, Va.? H. T. R. A. The Virginia Gazette was es tablished there in 1736. Q. How many Catholics are there In Czechoslovakia? J. H. L. A. Of the country's 14,600,000 in habitants 10,800,000 are Roman Catholics. Q. Please give the origin of the word academy. J. O. A. The Greek philosopher, Plato, conducted a school in a shady grove about a mile from Athens. Accord ing to legend, this grove once be longed to Academus, a hero of the Trojan war, and from him Plato's school took its name. Q. Who said, "I do not agree with one word you say, but will defend with my life your right to say It"? F. McC. A. This was written In a letter by Voltaire, the French satirist, to Rousseau, the French revolutionist. Q. How many cans of food are produced annually? L. G. A. Each year, in the United States, 225 kinds of canned foods are packed in about 9,000,000,000 cans, Q. Can magazines publish colored pictures of money? O. F. K. A. It Is not permissible to photograph or produce replicas of United States money in color. Q. What proportion of the days in New Mexico are rainy or cloudy? J. W. S. A. New Mexico has only about 23 cloudy or rainy days a year. Q. How many CCC camps are there? L. S. F. A. There are now 1,500 Civilian Conservation corps camps in operation. Q. Did Joyce Kilmer write any poems while he was in France? J. H. A. He wrote five poems in France, the first of which was "Rough Bouquet." The last poem he wrote was The Peacemaker," published In the Saturday Evening Post in October, 1918. Q. Is a blue diamond the rarest found? H. T. K, A. Red Is the most rare and blue is next. The most famous red stone is the Ram's Head, which Is rose colored and was once a part of the Russian crown Jewels. Q. What was the cost of the land on which the Empire State building in New York was built? G. F. B. A. The ground on which the Empire State building stands was purchased for $16,000,000. The cost of the building itself was $55,000,000. Q. Which is the port side of a ship? J. F. D. A. The left side as one faces the front of the ship. The right side Is starboard. Q. How long did it take A. J. Cronin to write "Hatter's Castle"? L. K. A. It was written In three months and was Dr. Cronin's first novel. Despite Its unusual length, it was accepted by the first publisher to whom he sent it and was the first novel to be adopted by the English Book society. Q. How thick Is the bark of the redwoods? E. R. G. A. It Is sometimes two feet thick. Q. Why was Richard Sheridan, the playwright, offered a gift of $100,000 by the American Congress? T. A, A. Because of his efforts to pro tect the rights of the colonies. He refused the gift. Q. What is the Sportsman's Creed? J. H. K. A. The "Sportsman's Creed" by Charles L. Horn Is as follows: Shoot carefully and respect the farmers property. Take only your share of game, your license does not permit you to hunt or fish for another Leave a goodly number for replen ishment. Don't always take the limit. Stamp out all fires. Feed birds in winter. Do not burn mead ows In nesting time. Drive with care the wild life can not cope with your speed. Remember the child Is somebody's boy or girl do not drive recklessly or carelessly. Preserve life. Q. What was done with the timber destroyed by the hurricane In New England? E. S. O. A. It Is being salvaged under the United States Forest Service, with the aid of the Disaster Loan corporation, Q. How many parking meters are there in the United States? O. L. K. A. There are approximately 30,-000 parking meters in 77 cities in this country. Q. What was the name of the actress who was known u the Klondike girl? c. D. A. The late Esther Lyons Robinson, known on the stage in the 1890s as Esther Lyons, was called the Klondike girl. During a theatrical engagement in 1894 at Victoria, H. C, she became Interested in the Drazie Wilson expedition to Alaska. With her husband she Joined the group and was the first American woman to visit Northern Alaska. Upon her return she toured the United States, lecturing In her Alas kan costume. President McKlnley invited her to the White House to speak and she appeared before many distinguished audience. Q. How many employes work In the new Commerce building In Washington. D. C? H. F. A. The Department of Commerce says that at the present time there are 4,558 employes in the Department of Commerce building in Washington. Q. How many boys are Boy Scouts? T. J. H. A. On June 30 the total member ship of the Boy Scouts of America was 1.213,755. Q. Who Invented the T-rail? C. F. S. A. The type of T-rall now used by railroads throughout the world was designed about 1830 by Robert L. Stevens, then president of the Camden St Amboy railroad of New Jersey. R.T. Ladies Hold Election For Next Year Alberton, Nov. 19. The ladies' auxiliary to the Brotherhood of Railroad Trainmen at Its regular meeting Wednesday afternoon held election of officers for the ensuing year. Mrs. Goldie Elsinmlnger was elected president; Mrs. Virginia Wilson, vice president; Mrs. Ruth Heckeroth, secretary; Mrs. Mildred Miller, treasurer; Mrs. Emily Brown conductress; Mrs. Theresa Miller, chaplain; Mrs. Vey Cornwall, guard; Mrs. Nuella DuBois, warden; Mrs Marie DuBois, outer guard; Mrs, Effie Manuel, pianist, Mrs. Edith Averill, legislative representative; Mrs. Mildred Miller, alternate; Mrs, Theresa Miller, delegate to the gen eral meeting at Cleveland next May Mrs. Edith Averill, alternate. Plans were made for the lnstalla tlon of officers at the December meeting and for the annual banquet which is held at that time. After the meeting, lunch was served by Mrs. Theresa Miller and Mrs. Walter Miller. Community Club. Mrs. Marie Thorn and Mrs George Heckeroth were hostesses at the November meeting of the Com munlty club Thursday afternoon at the clubrooms. Mrs. Earl Rodgers presided at the business meeting Rev. T. T. Fike and Mrs. Fike of Superior were present and presented church Questions which were dis cussed In the general meeting. The next regular meeting will be the second Thursday in December Pinochle Party. The Milwaukee Women's club gave a pinochle party Tuesday eve ning at the clubrooms. Nine tables were in play. High score honors were awarded to Mrs. J. A. Drake, Mrs. E. P. Lashell, Louis Rancourt and Edwin Bennett. Walter Miller won the highest number of points in the quiz contest. Lunch was served at the close of the evening. Shower for Bride. Mrs. Paul Youngkin, formerly Adah Bacon, was tendered a miscellaneous shower last week with four of her high school girl friends, Jean Bolton, Luclna Manuel, Gladys Henderson and Lois Evans, as hostesses. The gifts will be sent to Mrs. Youngkin at her new home in Wolf Point. Mrs. Youngkin was a former Al berton girl and graduated from the local high school. Society Personals. Mrs. Charles Jacobson and Mrs. Amy Brown of Milltown were week end guests at the home of Mr, and Mrs. E. C. Cornwall. Fred Barta left Friday after a week's visit with his parents, Mr. and Mrs. Joseph Barta. Fred Barta is a brother of Mrs. Leo Miller. Mr. and Mrs. C. S. Averill visited last week at the home of Mrs. Aver- ill's parents, Mr. and Mrs. G. W. Solleder, in Darby. Miss Geraldlne McClain of Superior Is visiting her sister, Mrs. George Hutchings. Miss Vemice Thorn of Galen spent last week-end with her mother, Mrs. Marie Thorn. Mr. and Mrs. Paul Ingeborg of Darby and Mr. Ingebo's sister, Jane Ingebo of Dolto, S. D., were weekend guests of Mr. and Mrs. W. C. Evans. Mrs. William Ladiges spent a few days last week in Florence visiting her sister, Mrs. Joseph Lacaff. Miss Katherine and Mary Mc Conkey were here from Missoula to spend the week-end with their par ents, Mr. and Mrs. M. E. McConkey. Big Boy Will Handle Them "Personally" Clemson College, S. C. OP) Sev en-foot, 280-pound Arnold Grayson is "complaint manager" of The Clemson Tiger, student newspaper. Cadet Grayson, a Junior, says he will handle ail complaint per sonally." JUICE COMBINATION. A new tangy appetizer Is equal portions of tomato and sauerkraut Juices. Add a slice of onion for each two cups of combined Juice before chilling but remove them be fore putting the Juice on the table, Good Taste Today By Emily At first thought many will say that visiting cards went into the limbo of forgotten things when the automobile p u s h e c the horse and buggy and i with it the vic toria and the broug h am off the roads. i io us o. touay, V .Y nothingis more quaintly ab-EMILY POST aurci tnan ye9. tcrday's custom which re quired that every lady of fashion spend two or throe afternoons a week driving from address to address and handing her cards in packets of three or fives at the front doors of acquaintances and friends whose names were then checked one by one in her visiting list. Or perhaps she stopped only at the houses of one or two hostesses to pay her "visit of digestion" or "of appreciation." These visits had to be paid within three days after the party to which she had gone, or after receiv ing an invitation which she had regretted. Today, unless we belong In diplo matic or official circles, paying formal visits which might better be described as proxy card-leaving by one member of a family for all the other members Is seldom required of u.i. There are times, it is true, when courtesy requires that Mrs, Neighbor go to see Mrs. Stranger and that she leave a proxy card of her husband's in order that Mrs, Stranger may know that there is a Mr. Neighbor. But it Is no longer a general custom to leave a proxy card for each grown member of the family. The number of cards that Mrs Neighbor should leave when going to see Mrs. Stranger or paying a party call on Mrs. Formal follows yesterday's rule precisely. She leaves one card of her own on Mrs. Stranger and two cards of her husband's, one on Mrs. Stranger and one on Mr. Stranger. (Mrs. Neigh bor does not leave a card of her own on Mr. Stranger because a lady does not (ordinarily) call on gentleman.) When Mrs. Neighbor pays a party call on Mrs. Hostess following a party given for a house guest, Mrs. Neighbor leaves a second card of her own, and also an extra card of her husband's on this visitor. She would leave these extra cards too If she knew that the mother or sister or other grown member of the Strangers' family was making her home with them. As already said, these requirements are all very formal. In the case of an intimate friend you would not think of leaving a card unless there Is no one with whom to leave a message. If you have no particular message, it Is usual to write "Sorry not to find you" or "Sorry to miss you." In leaving a card on a friend living in a hotel or an apartment house, her name should be written in pencil across the top of the card to insure it being given to her, and not to some one else. The messages that we write on cards are literally without limit, although the formal ones are rather strictly prescribed. For example, when a neighbor Is ill and we go to ask how the sick person is, if the door Is opened by a servant we leave our card first writing across the top of It "to Inquire." If the door Is opened by a member of the family, we say we are glad or sorry, according to the news given us, and leave no card. Or if we go to leave a card on a family in which there has been a death, and we want to express our sympathy and yet do not know any member of the family well enough to ask to see them, we write in pencil at the top of our card "With sympathy ana leave it at the door. We leave one card only our Mr. and Mrs. card If we have one but If we haven i, we write "Mr." In front of the Mrs." on our card, instead oi leav ing hL. We do tne same wnen sending flowers. On the Other Hand. On the other hand, when send ing a wedding present and we have no Mr. and Mrs. card, a Mr. card, as well as a Mrs. card is usually enclosed. This is because "Mr. written by Mrs. on her card sug gests that she alone was inter ested in selecting the present. wb write: "With best wishes" on a card sent with a wedding present, "P. P. C." written on a card and ither left at the door or sent through the mail by one who is eolne away, means literally trans lated. "To take leave." Personally like "To say goodbye" better, because I like English words (when we are speaking English) better than foreign ones, and I think the English phrase more friendly. This is, however, a matter of Individual preference and P. P. C. is still correct. A turned-up corner shows that the card was left by the visitor in person, and not sent through the mail. In many communities It also means (and sensibly) that the card is Intended for every one in the family. And to consider the choice of cards and their engraving. The sizes of visiting cards vary according to lengths of names, but a woman's card is seldom longer than three Inches nor shorter than two and five-eighth inches; two and one-half Inches is very high and two is the lowest A card about two and three-fourths inches long by two inches high is the fashion able size for names of from fifteen to twenty letters. Very abort names look best on cards that are nearly square. A very long name looks better on an oversized card rather NT Post than one that U otherwise neces sarlly twice as long as it Is high. Young girls customarily choose the smallest of these sizes, and often have them plate marked. A Mr. and Mrs. card is usually a quarter of an inch higher and longer than a card a woman choses for Mn. alone. A man's card Is narrower in shape from about two and seven- eighths to three and a fourth lnehrs long, and from one and one-half to one and five-eights Inches high. All styles of engraving are good except those that are over ornate or oversize. Moderate size of lettering that Is severely plain Is in faultless taste. Plate marking Is especially suitable for wedding invitations and announcements and their enclosures. But this raised margin Is rarely chosen for visiting cards by the conservatively smart-except by debutantes. The question of whether to chooM a large card of a small one, a thick; or a thin, a white or a cream color. a dull or a glazed surface, or the style of the engraving depends upon your personal choice. But you might do well to remember that a big card is best if you intend to write invitations on it. The Third-Person Note. The third-person note of Invitation, even the engraved Invitation to a debutante ball, are each yar growing scarcer and In their place the modern hostess writes a mes sage reduced to shortest abbrevia tionso as to fit into the limited space on the face of her visiting card. Because of their convenience. abbreviated messages of invitation outnumber all other forms of writing or engraving, excepting wedding announcements. Invitations to buf fet lunches or suppers cocktail teas, bridge parties even dances are sent to all of us, and by most of us, on ordinary visiting cards, or on the cards that fold over like double sheet of note paper. These fold-over visiting cards. commercially called "lnformals," for some years stood on the outskirts of good taste, but are now aeunneiy accepted by the many who, because of their oversized handwriting, find them convenient. But for those who can without effort reduce their writing to the size and neatness of small print, the fold-over card has little to recommend it, since the only excuse for substituting a wrltten-on card for the charm of a note on smart paper Is that messages may be reduced by unlimited abbreviation; Sat. Dec. II Buffet Supper 8 o'ek. Please reply. This underscored appeal for an answer la much more likely to bring a response than the initials P. R. (please reply), which seems a sensible substitute for R. 8. V. P. (re- spondez sll vous plaint). A note on the inside page of the fold-over card is of the same length exactly as that on paper, and, therefore does not excuse abbreviation. -Dear Kate: Will you and Fred come to stand-up supper on Saturday, the 11th, at 8 o'clock? Affectionately, Jane." This same wording Is all that need be written In a note, which comes back to the state ment that good-looking die-stamped note paper la smarter. On the other hand, the doubled-over card is, I agree, better looking than paper with no marking on It. It must, of course, be remembered that the doubled-over card Is not suitable for the usual purposes of visiting cards to leave an acquaintance or friends or to send with gifts nor are they ever suitable for a man. (A man may sena an aoore-vlated Invitation on his ordinary visiting card.) The age at which a girl and a boy should have Mr. and Miss engraved on their visiting card is subject to two rules: A girl should have Miss on her card not later than her earl- test eens, but she may quite properly have this as a child of S or 6. A boy on the other hand should NOT have Mr. on his ca-d until he graduates from preparatory or high school, and in many communities it is customary to wait until he leaves college. A Confusing Detail. One of the most confusing details. Judging by the number of questions sent me, Is that of the words Junior and second. The son of a man of identical name is always Junior for so long as his father lives. The grandson of a man of identical name is Junior, unless his uncle has the same name. In this case the uncle is Junior and his nephew is second. The son of the uncle and the son of the grandson would both be third. Another detail to remember is that if the middle name is different, then he is neither Junior nor second nor third. For example, if a father whose name Is Arthur Henry White calls his son Arthur James White, then the son Is not Junior. Whether a card is engTaved Junior or Jr., second or 2nd, third or 3rd, is equally correct, but the word Junior must be written with a little J whereas Jr, has a capital. Another point: Jr. Is an inseparable part of his name. It does not take the place of Mr. or any other titie. His visiting card reads Mr. Arthur Henry White Jr. Or If It reads Dr. Arthur Henry White Jr., this does not mean that his father is also a doctor. It means that his father's name is Arthur Henry White, and that he, the son, is a doctor. One of the most Important rules In the entire subject of etiquette is that Mrs. must not precede a lady's christian name. Mrs. Mary Is socially tabu. The visiting card of a lady of quality has always been, and still Is, engraved with her husband's name. Whether her husband is living or whether she is his widow, hir name is Mrs. John Smith and not Mrs. Mary Smith. Curiously er.ougli this Is a detail to which women of taste are very sensitive, a detail to which many men of oLherwtae best taste newspaper reporters particularly are insensible. Yet no dinner or a ball could possibly sound other th.in "tacky" if described as having been given by Mrs. Maggie Jones! And that among those present were Mrs. Jane Muggs and Mrs. Alice Bump I lCopr:iat. 1991, it Emily Pwi.)

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