The Dispatch from Moline, Illinois • 64

Life G8 The Dispatch and The Rin Island Argus Sunday, July 27, 2008 Fashion war: No match for mom Kids are now embracing mismatched outfits Bad ex-etiquette? Checkyourself Ex-Etiquette child, however, by putting him right smack in the middle of two parents he loves. If it's more important to hurt your ex than cooperate for the sake of your child, then continue the behavior. But know this: Your child will be affected. He will not "grow out of it," but will bring this sort of vendetta into his own life relationships because that's what you taught him as he was growing up. He could grow up either resenting you or the other parent or, as in some of the cases we have worked with, reject both parents once he moves out.

You may not hear "I reject you." Instead you'll hear "I can't make it home this Christmas; I have finals." Or he'll be dating someone and choose to go to his date's family home year after year after year. Of course, there are those times when these types of choices, are not based on battling divorced parents but if you see it and you did make choices such as writing "I love you, Jake" in the memo line, you laid the groundwork. Good ex-etiquette suggests that the best way to handle child support is to send it in check form to the other parent. If it's late, don't give it to the child to make up for time. Call the parent, say it's late, apologize, and mail it.

Jann Blackstone-Ford, M.A., and her husband's ex-wife, Sharyl Jupe, are the founders of Bonus Families By Jnn BUckstoiM-Ford and Sharyt Jupe Contra Costa Times Question: My ex is almost $2,000 behind in child support. While I am tempted to not let him see our son, age 9, until he pays up, I realize that support and visitation are two separate things and I try to stay calm. To complicate things, when my ex does pay, he gives the check to our son to give to me. Today I picked up my son after visiting his dad, and he handed me a check for $100. In the memo space was written with a bright red marker, "I love you, Jake." Will you please tell my ex and others out there what bad ex-etiquette this is! Answer: It's really bad ex-etiquette.

Really, really times a hundred bad ex-etiquette. There is no way that giving a child a support check to give to the other parent can be disguised as "in the best interest of the child." And from the tone of your letter, it appears you are also wise to the not-so-subtle attempt to stick it to you by writing "I love you, Jake" in the memo line. A 9-year-old can certainly read that, and as a result, start a line of questioning that may not be healthy for the child. Good for you for not confusing child support with visitation. As you said, they are two separate considerations.

To your ex and others out there who stoop to this sort of underhanded tactic yes, you're achieving your goal: You're making your ex angry You're also damaging your I ttt it i Af 'd II Wmrr (Ml mmr0miiimmirmai if --v' -X la 'J r-i" I i 'i liim miM ii McClatchy Newspaper The lesson the fashion world is teaching parents during the back-to-school shopping season is: If you can't beat them, join them. Children are going to wear their stripes with their dots and their florals with their plaids and they really don't care if mom says they don't match. That doesn't mean they have to look like clowns, however, especially this year with many manufacturers offering coordinated mismatched looks. mismatched looks? Think a purple, two-tone dot turtleneck with a multicolored zigzag poncho and purple-and-aqua plaid skirt for girls, or red-white-and-blue plaid flannel shirt over a blue-and-white striped rugby shirt for boys. ''Parents should get on board and let kids express themselves," says Pilar Guzman, editor-in-chief of Cookie magazine.

"At the same time you want them to look put together and not be embarrassed. I'm happy to see this looser sensibility right now. Letting them express themselves is the prevailing parenting wisdom right now and it's nice to see it echoed in fashion." Andrea Harmon, director of color and concept for The Children's Place, says that prints and patterns can even help some children, especially little ones who don't have a huge vocabulary, put their emotions into something visual. They can choose something vibrant when they're feeling energetic, something darker when they're tired, for example. "Prints are bright and cheerful and I say, 'The more the says Old Navy's vice president of design and trend Jose Abellar.

"It's like there are no rules and that's what kids love and parents would do it, too, if they could." Being the father of a 6-year-old girl and seeing how she wears things that she truly likes instead of whatever is ripped from the runway has helped adjust his own eye, says Abellar. "You have tartan plaid and a bold rugby I didn't always think of them together, but now I think it's a great combination." He does caution, though, that it takes a very strong personality to wear several bold prints and patterns in McClatchy Newspapers Kids don't like clothes that match? Let 'em go It's stylish. Anarchists' gathering surprisingly organized important distinction," she says. "They're not 100 percent matchy-matchy that would be interesting enough for kids but they're coordinated." Scale of the prints is another way to ramp up or tone down an outfit. While Harmon says there are no rules, there is a certain taste level when it comes to scale.

"If you have a large-scale stripe, you probably don't want to see it paired with something the same scale. It's just too busy" Her suggestion would be the large stripe with a smaller dot or floral for girls, or a sports motif for boys. Harmon says she can't help but smile when she sees a child in a burst of patterns and prints. The florals, stripes, dots, geometries, plaids and color-blocking that she expects to be popular this fall are many of the same Aj'i Why not start paying in compliments not cash? It's such a nice way to save money i i bold colors. It can be done and done well but it's easier to use one neutral-colored garment, perhaps jeans or khaki pants, as a grounding point.

But there's also the trick to use a small multicolored pattern such as a check or a win-dowpane, which, from far away can look like a solid. The key to a busy outfit is the color combination, says Harmon. The Children's Place is offering two color stories; the warm is reds, oranges and pinks and the cool is blues, greens and grays. Pick one of those palettes and stick with it throughout the outfit. "The clothes are coordinated from a color perspective and that's a really 'tern.

oia tsii lOK'. tmiitiHin -int- Ho njk ton. t'Ut 15' aiir.w I 'ftli -'ii i II 1 HIP ll I l(H ''KIM ffi trends anticipated for adults. The difference, she says, is that the children's prints are less sophisticated just the way they should be "They'll have time for subtlety later," she says. "Right now, they want a point of distinction." "The mixing of patterns has been going on in adult fashion for a long time.

For them, it's the tweeds with the plaid and the mixing of texture," adds Cookie's Guzman. People have gotten used to seeing things that don't "match" in the traditional sense, which plays right into kids' sensibility, she says. "Kids like to be crazy, but when our parents were ing kids they couldn't allow it," she says. "The previous generation of today's grandparents wore Peter Pan collars and kids were meant to be seen not heard." Always on the lookout for ways to save a dime, we happened upon a recent study that found paying someone a compliment triggers the same reward center in the brain as paying that person cash. same neural structure, the striatum," Dr.

Norihiro Sadato, the lead researcher, said in the science journal Neuron. We don't know from striatums, but we sure can think of a bunch of ways to use this news. Invited to a pal's wedding this summer? "Xes, Barb, I did take a look at your registry. But honestly, I didn't think a material object could begin to express both the affection I feel toward you and the profound joy I find in knowing you've found a life partner equal to you in intellect, wit and charm." We just hope our bosses don't get a hold of this study and suddenly decide to give us glowing reviews. You know, gate agent, I did read about that new $15-per-bag rule.

But I'm so taken by your professionalism and exacting standards that I'm already mentally writing a note to your supervisor about this splendid experience. By Erica Perez Milwaukee Journal Sentinel WALDO, Wis. Some 150 anarchists from throughout the United States and Canada descended on a strip of private land last week in this Sheboygan County, village for four days of work-' shops, including some focused on strategizing for demonstrations at the upcoming Democratic and Republican national conventions. The 2008 Crimethlnc. Convergence was the sixth annual communal campout organized by Crimethlnc.

Ex-Workers' Collective, an international underground network that since the mid-1990s has published widely read anarchist texts such as "Recipes for Disaster: An Anarchist Cookbook." The group also has drawn the attention of FBI agents trying to infiltrate the protest movement. At the 2004 Crimethlnc. gathering in Iowa, an undercover FBI operative met Eric McDavid, a California man who was found guilty last year of conspiring to burn or blow up a federal facility. Crimethlnc. texts eschew government, capitalism and conformity The collective has no members and no leader.

But the convergence had plenty of policy and procedure. Decisions are made by consensus, and there are no drugs, drinking, photography or exchange of money allowed. And definitely no police or corporate media. "The locals are welcome," media liaison and local circus performer Pinkerton Xyloma said. "We have a no-media policy because the media are not considered individuals.

It is a concern that people from the media will not respect people's consent or consensus." Xyloma would not say why the group was gathered in Wisconsin or what participants were discussing. He said they had no interest in violence or terrorism. On its Web site, Crimethlnc. describes itself as a place where "the secret worlds of shoplifters, rioters, dropouts, deserters, adulterers, vandals, daydreamers converge to form gateways to new worlds where theft, cheating, warfare, boredom, and so on are simply obsolete." The collective publicized the event on its Web site and at anarchist social centers around the country places such as Cream City Collectives in Milwaukee's River-west neighborhood, which had fliers for the gathering posted on the door and closed shop on the day it began. Participants met up between 8 a.m.

and 8 p.m. Wednesday at Gordon Park in 3 fL, I. For more information: Crimethlnc: www.crimethinc.com Riverwest, where they picked up pamphlets, got directions to the campground in Waldo, or hitched rides with fellow campers. Mostly young, they arrived on bikes, on foot and by car, some lugging packs with tents and camping supplies and others with nothing but a notebook. Some were tattooed and pierced; some brought their dogs; a few brought young children.

One brought a jar of omega-3 fortified peanut butter. People who recognized each other from past convergences embraced. They traveled about 45 miles north into Waldo, along the village's main street, down a gravel road bordered by shoulder-high wildflowers and grasses. There, on privately owned land, campers pitched about 75 tents and hung laundry from clotheslines. They built campfires, played board games or lined up for free food at a tent marked "Kitchen." Participants were also encouraged to come prepared to lead their own workshops.

"Projectiles 101" promised to teach anarchists how to build things such as confetti cannons and slings. "Guy-necol-ogy" focused on sexual issues for men, such as their role in birth control and acceptable flirtation. The focus of the 2008 convergence was on strategizing for action at the national conventions and "longer-range anarchist endeavors," according to the Web site. Among the presenters: The RNC Welcoming Committee, an anarchist group preparing to disrupt the 2008 Republican National Convention in Minnesota. Meanwhile, residents of Waldo, population 485, weren't sure what to make of the anarchists in the woods.

Some had assumed the campers were part of a religious retreat or were in town for a nearby vintage auto show. Waldo Village President Mike Hintz said he didn't know anything about the convergence until he happened to see the campsite Wednesday night when he was driving by He didn't go into the site, though, because a neighbor told him the group had been behaving themselves. "I don't know what they're doing back there, but it seemed so far there's no disturbance," Hintz said. a 'gs mm EUaillGS' -imrr l9tSElCifiBH(BD KoaaHnr-iiiinnjkrifiia 'Oil 'icinii' 4 By Heidi Stevens Chicago Tribune Rising prices grating on you? Give this a try: 1 Cashier: "Here's your latte. That'll be $4.41." You: "Ohhh, I only brought my usual $4.37.

But your hair is stunning. Who does your highlights?" Always on the lookout for ways to save a dime, we happened upon a recent study that found paying someone a compliment triggers the same reward center in the brain as paying that person cash. The study, conducted by researchers at the Japanese National Institute for Physiological Sciences, used brain imaging techniques to observe healthy adults during two experiments. First, participants playing a card game were told one card would yield a payout, and researchers monitored the brain activity when the subjects got the cash. In the second experiment, the same participants were told they were being evaluated by strangers based on information from a personality questionnaire and a video.

The researchers monitored reactions to the evaluations. The cash and the compliments both triggered activity in a reward-related area of the brain. "We found that these seemingly different kinds of rewards a good reputation versus money are biologically coded by the.