Indiana Gazette from Indiana, Pennsylvania • 8

Family Page 8 Saturday, August 27, 2005 '(Elje 3lttMtta diabetic Who manages the money? Young adults' purse strings still tied to Mom and Dad under lag: A 1 daily first-generation wealth creators, to control their grown children's money, said Tom Rogerson, senior director at Mellon Private Wealth Management "The type of people who make wealth like to make decisions themselves, and want to make decisions for their kids," Roger-son said. "They may make better decisions for the money, but they leave their kids less capable and confident to make decisions themselves." So how do parents let go? When children enter the working world, parents don't need to suddenly sever all financial ties. Becoming fiscally independent often takes a series of steps, depending on the child's maturity level not to mention assets, income and debt. "If parents can think of it in terms of a process, not a cutoff, it can help," said Eileen Gallo, a licensed psychotherapist. One step is establishing boundaries.

If a young adult needs money to pay off credit card debt or make a down payment on a house, it's OK to ask a parent for a loan as long as the parent can afford to, and as long as the terms of the loan are clear. If parents want to loan their children money, a good way to do it is by setting up a matching system, where the parent pays only as much money as the child contributes, John Gallo said. This way, a parent can help their child become debt-free more quickly, but the child is ultimately responsible. Another step is encouraging grown children to come up with their own financial objectives. Young adults must realize that whoever makes decisions about their money makes decisions about their life.

N.C., manages a Merrill Lynch Co. account for his older daughter, Robin Nolan, who works in Carson City, as a publicist "Robin is the one who leans on me the most, because she's had some experiences that taught her it's a complex world, different than it used to be," McDavid said. McDavid, who has a background in banking, has been handling Nolan's investment for six years. With a husband, a toddler and another baby on the way, Nolan sees the arrangement as a time and money saver. "This way, I'm not trying to make uneducated decisions by myself, or wasting money with fees and mindless transactions," said Nolan.

People should only let their parents invest their money, though, if the parents keep them in the loop about where the money's going and if they can maintain a professional distance. "That's where parents sometimes have difficulty," Eileen Gallo said. "When we start talking about money to our own children, a little judgment creeps into the conversation." With McDavid and his daughter, it hasn't been a problem. "I try to treat her as I would a client," McDavid said. "She's been able to have this financial, arms-length relationship with me, and at the same time have a father-daughter relationship." There should also be a long-term goal of eventually phasing out parents' involvement people must be prepared to take control of their money when their parents are no longer able to.

"There will be a day I won't be able to balance my own checkbook," McDavid said. "I certainly shouldn't be managing anyone else's money then." FRANK FRANKLIN llAssociated Press NISHANK KHANNA, CEO of his own online-coupon Web site, knows how to make money. But the 23-year-old doesn't know how to manage it yet. His father controls "pretty much everything, from personal finances to business finances." "Save for a goal that is more short-term than what is going to happen to you at age 65," he said. "When you're 25, you're thinking of who I'm going to marry, where am I going to live, what's my job going to be." It's detrimental for a parent to control adult children's money without involving them at all in the decision-making, experts say, but it can be helpful to give advice as long as the advice is educated and solicited.

Jim McDavid, a 68-year-old real estate consultant in Raleigh, link between vertigo and menopause? correlation between menopause and intermittent dizziness? DEAR READER: I am unaware of any customary correlation between vertigo and menopause. In many cases, the cause of vertigo is unknown; in others, it may result from edema (swelling) of the inner ear or from deficient circulation. Because fluid balance is frequently upset by menopause (leading to water retention and edema) and older women may experience poor circulation, too I suppose that in a general way, the conditions could theoretically be related. By MADLEN READ AP Business Writer Nishank Khanna, CEO of his own online-coupon Web site, knows how to make money. But the 23-year-old doesn't know how to manage it yet.

That's where his dad comes in. He controls "pretty much everything, from personal finances to business finances," Khanna said. Running Undertag.com and living in his own apartment in Queens, N.Y., Khanna is more independent than many people his age. Still, he knows he has a lot to learn before he can take over the reins from his dad, who emigrated from India in 1973 with few assets and became a mutual fund manager. "Let's say tomorrow he just stops doing it.

I wouldn't know how to file my taxes or anything. I don't even know where some of my money is," said Khanna, who plans to hire an accountant in a few years to replace his dad. It's only natural for parents to want to protect their kids' money, but when should they stop? It's a tough decision the transition to financial independence is difficult these days, as surging home prices, education costs, credit card debt and job competition leave many young adults in a lurch. "What is new is the increasing number of young adults unable to succeed financially on their own," said John Gallo, an estate-planning attorney in Los Angeles who co-authored "The Financially Intelligent Parent" and "Silver Spoon Kids" with his wife Eileen Gallo. "Parents have not been responding to those increased social factors by teaching their kids how to manage money." It's tempting for parents, espe- Is there By Dr.

Peter H. Gott Newspaper Enterprise Assn. a DEAR DR. GOTT: Ever since I began experiencing menopausal changes, I've suffered from intermittent dizziness. I sought medical attention six years ago because of the vertigo and no one has found a cause.

I've seen an ENT specialist, a GYN specialist, have had many tests and cannot resolve this. Yet, when speaking with other menopausal women, they have also experienced the same symptoms. Is there any direct AMANDA WAGNER Indiana BRONZE AWARD Amanda Wagner, daughter of Bill and Barb Wagner of Indiana, recently earned the highest award as a Junior Grl Scout the Bronze Award. The award is given to Junior Girl Scouts who have completed four types of badges and completed a project that takes at least 15 hours. Amanda fixed up a strip of land between the sidewalk and the Grace United Methodist Church Growth Center.

She created a rock garden and placed a peace pole with "Peace Be With You" in four languages (English, French, Spanish and German). 1 Confidentially Yours Leaving boyfriend behind By JEWEL KATS and DAVE SILVERBERG Young People's Press DEAR JEWEL, I am going away to college this September to live in the dorm. My high-school boyfriend keeps insisting that we'll stay together forever and stuff like that However, I'm starting to feel that I don't want to be attached when I go to school. But my BF (who's also going away) doesn't feel that way, and tells me he loves me and needs me all the time. I think once he goes away he'll see my point of view, but how can I bring it up to him now? I know he'll be hurt, but how should I tell him? WANT NEW START DEAR W.N.S., Theologian Alan Watts once said, "Never pretend to a love which you do not actually feel, for love is not ours to command." It's a given: breakups hurt But dating someone out of pity or pressure is equally if not more hurtful.

There's no point in dragging this relationship on if your heart is just not digging it Think long-term happiness, not short-term fixes. Nor should you feel guilty about wanting to spread your wings. You're growing up, becoming an adult, and this is a normal feeling. This doesn't mean you should be harsh with your boyfriend. He deserves honesty, not hostility.

Speak to him firmly, but kindly. Unveil your thoughts with sincerity. Respond to his questions openly. Ideally, you should break up with him face-to-face and in a public setting. A phone conversation just isn't as personal.

And a reclusive environment can be dangerous. The news you're about to deliver is heavy. You simply don't know how he'll react. He may get overly emotional or even manipulative, so it's best to take extra precaution. Remember to be strong about what you want.

Don't let him sway you into thinking differently. You can do this. Love, Jewel. DEAR DAVE, About six months ago, I briefly dated someone who turned out to be a player and didn't treat me that well. Lately he has started coming around me again.

When I told him I didn't want to go out with him because he's a player, he said he's changed and he wants a real relationship now. I like him. Would it be stupid to go for him? NOPLAYAS DEAR N.P., Straight up, yes, it would be stupid. I'm cynical when it comes to personality change, especially a seismic shift from "player" to "relationship man." Let's be honest here: generally, people don't change. Or at least, they don't change overnight.

I know that sounds fatalistic, but when it comes to dating, guys who like to get around find it hard to shake that philandering attitude, no matter what they preach to you. I talked to Rebecca Rosenblat, a sex therapist and TV-show host, and she said you should ask this guy some serious questions, such as: "How have you changed? Prove it. Why should I trust you again? What makes you think you won't go back to your old habits?" And you should ask yourself whether you're prepared for history to repeat itself if he treated you poorly the first time around, he might do the same again. Of course, he'll be on his toes the first few months of the relationship, but rest assured his "playa" ways might override his new habits and boom! you're on the receiving end of relationship rubbish. Rosenblat suggests looking elsewhere.

"There are so many wonderful guys out there," she says, "so why would you want to waste time on someone who mistreated you?" Good point, and that's a reflective question worth pasting in your memory. Keep me posted! (Got a hot question for our cool columnists? E-mail Jewel or Dave at writeusypp.net or check them out online at www.ypp.net.) Scripps Howard News Service For Rob Bennett, author of "Passion Saving: The Path to Plentiful Free Time and Soul-Satisfying Work," that realization didn't come until he was in law school. An exasperated bank officer asked him if he knew how to balance a checkbook. Embarrassed, Bennett admitted the answer was no his parents had always dealt with his finances. So Bennett, now in his 40's, learned to take control of his money by defining his own life ambitions.

However, this is not the rule. I recommend a consultation with another ear specialist, who may choose to obtain an MRI scan. This special test permits doctors to see parts of the body's interior, much as X-rays do but in more detail. In this way, my theory of edemapoor circulation, which could be treated, can be confirmed or rejected. DEAR DR.

GOTT: About 20 years ago, a salesman stopped by our farm selling weed spray. We bought some (before all the concern about toxic chemicals). Through the years we used it sparingly but still, even today, 18 OZ. JAR FOOD CLUB PEANUT BUTTER )) 2 LB. PKG.

FOOD CLUB ELBOW or SPAGHETTI 26 OZ. JAR MEAT vegetation does not grow well. This spring we mixed good soil on top, thinking the dilution would be OK and because my husband wanted a garden. I have refused to eat any of the produce because of the "contaminated" soil, and my husband thinks I'm crazy. Who's right? DEAR READER: Many herbicides remain in the soil and can affect future plant growth.

Others are biologically degraded into harmless substances. Before condemning your new garden, try to discover (through the salesman's company) what 29 OZ. CAN 5 I I7nr2i7nf3n II fresh seedless 1 LB. PKG. BLUE BONNET LB.

BAG ROBIN HOOD mm PEARS OR ARGO PEACHES GDILEdD QUARTERS 4 QT. PKG. GALLIKER ICE CREAM 3. ingredients were used in the weed spray. Then, armed with a name, go to your local library and research the product As another option, you can have the soil tested by a laboratory specializing in herbicidal residue.

After 20 years, the herbicide has probably been leached out of the soil and you can safely eat the produce, but you should make sure first If readers would like to contact Dr. Gott, they may send their mail directly to Dr. Gott do United Media, 200 Madison Fourth Floor, New York, NY 10016. 5 LB. BAG DOMINO PURE CANE SUGAR 11.

34 12 OZ. CAN CHASE SANBORN C6PPEE 12 0Z. PKG. VELVEETA INDIVIDUAL CHEESE SLICES 12 3 OZ. PKG.

MARUCHAN CHICKEN OR BEEF RAMEN NOODLES 46 OZ. JUG SILLY DILLY KOSHER DILL PICKLES WE RESERVE THE RIGHT TO LIMIT QUANTITIES SELECTED VARIETIES ONLY 11 OZ. PKG. WISEY POTATO DEL GROSSO OR PLAIN SPAS. sauise CHOPS 64 OZ.

JUG BELL VIEW CRANBERRY COCKTAIL 4 PACK HUNTS PUDDING SNACK PACK 14 GBGBC 34-15 12 0Z. CAN LIBBY'S PEAS, CORN CUT GR, BEANS 1 PINT CTN. GALLIKER SOUR CREAM 1.19 GAL. JUG GALLIKER FRUIT FLAV. j.

DRINK 89 12 OZ. CTN. TURNER ONION DIP 1.19 GAL. JUG GALIIKER DIET, GREEN, SWEET ICE TEA 1.09 28 OZ. CAN BUSH ORIG.

BAKED BEANS n.22) 10 OZ. JAR ALL VAR. HEINZ 24 OZ. SQUEEZE 48 OZ. VEG.

OR CANOLA II BTLf mf QT. JAR 1 1 MIRACLE iHIIVr SALAD DRESSING II II CRISC0 I DLL I 199JI II 11 12 OZ. PKG. VELVEETA SHELLS CHEDDAR DINNER 1.99 52 SHEET ROLL SO DRI PAPER TOWELS 4 0Z. PKG.

I LIPTON I NOODLES or I RICE I SAUCE 128 OZ. JUG EXTRA LIQUID LAUNDRY DETERGENT RELISHES GO 18 OZ. JAR HUNTS BBQ SAUCE II 8 PACK NICKLES HOT DOG HAMBURGER 10 LB. BAG HOMPHRY'S CHARCOAL BUN 57.