The Kansas City Star from Kansas City, Missouri • 24

I 24 THE KANSAS CITY STAR. WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19. 1922. that the millions to be put into highways of the state will yield the road service the people need and expect. WAITING FOR MILLIONS FROM THE WEST.

A dispatch from Richmond, tells of three members of a Jones family who "stand a chance to win a fortune into millions of dollars, by now pending in the courts of New "Mexico, according to two lawyers. The case involves a brother of the Joneses who. "attorneys state." died in the West, leaving "vast estates" and "many thousands of dollars in cash." Incidentally, the rich brother left two wills, which didn't quite agree as to the amount of his fortune the three Joneses in question were to receive. Hence the departure for the West of two attorneys. The story, with all its alluring possibilities to the three Joneses, may call out from the dark backward and abysm of many a childhood the memories of vast fortunes in "the West" that haunted sleep and helped to build many a fairyland of wealth in the thoughts of daylight.

Who does not recall the time when, as a one-gallus lad on the farm back East somewhere, he was told the story of a rich uncle who a few years; previous had died "out West," leaving thousands of acres of land, whole 1 lot of money and other possessions; that the uncle, or maybe it was a cousin, had fallen into bad ways; had never married: had been forgotten by his people; that a city had been built up on the land this man once owned; that the tire fortune was so large as to be beyond calculation; that it was being held in trust by the city, perhaps it was the state or county, and that all the uncle's, or the cousin's. relatives had to do to get the fortune to divide among themselves including us, the gallus lad. who would get. "at least $80,000" -was to pay a lawyer's expenses for a trip to the West to establish the identity of relatives and bring the vast fortune back in his suitcase? And who does not remember, too, that when it came to an actual showdown of paying the $250 expenses of that lawyer, who stood, hat in hand, ready to board the branch line train that would take him out far and away in his fruitful quest, all those people of ours back East there just simply wouldn't fork over the small amount and the trip had to be postponed for a long time, ever so long da time. Ah, the disgust of it! Evidently, the three members of the Jones family in Richmond are people of a stouter faith.

Maybe they believe, with good reason, in the validity of that fortune that waits for them "out West;" maybe they knew that brother in the flesh; had beheld his coming and going and had stood with tear stained faces as his train pulled out for "the West." Maybe so; let all of us with memories, and with that $80,000 still to get, hope so, at least. That is, hope that when the attorneys for the Joneses started for the West their round trip expenses were provided for. How Our Grandparents Talked. From the Boston Transcript, An elderly contributor favors us with a list of odd words and expressions current a generation or so ago. We have room for only a few of them.

meaning smart, perky, was used in New York. "I bonas it." meaning I claim it, was an expression in general use, and might be a variation of "I bone it." "Manaveling" was said to be exclusively used in Long Island and meant toothsome bits of any dish at table. "Gawmed up." Of a child eating bread and molasses a southern nurse would say, "His face is all gawmed up." A variant, "gaumed." was also used in England, "Scamuljugated" referred to two young people being fond of each other. "John and Jane seem quite scamulJugated." INC Dark Little House Mystery I. HE little house was dark with evening, and the girl didn't on an electric light.

She ably' was too busy playing the piano: not busy, either, for she played so that slowly and couldn't in such be a said to dreamy have fashion been she She was engrossed, then, playing the piano, so she forgot to turn on the electric light. It would be hard to say what she was thinking about. Perhaps her thoughts were, busied with her eyes. But 110 her thoughts were never busied. She had too few thoughts for her mind to work very fast.

The girl always careful way. to let She her wouldn't mind be have free. been It her- was self had she put her mind to work. The girl, however, was busy, if not with the piano or thoughts. She was busy waiting for someone.

She was 80 busy waiting for someone she forgot to turn onl the electric lights. Thus the house was dark with evening. II. From the outside, the dark little house with the piano notes coming from it reminded one of a ventriloquist. The one that was reminded of a ventriloquist was a young man.

He was busy with the comparison the house to a ventriloquist, who, he thought, has so much feigned mystery about him. A ventriloquist, young man was thinking, looks like a sphinx as he sits with a dummy his knees. Only his throat moves--that quiver of the throat is the only movement. The ventriloquist is a complete mystery except for the quiver of his throat- -how else could he make people believe the dummy boy did the talking? If a ventriloquist wasn't a mystery, watching him would be no fun. If one could have looked into the young man's mind, as he stood outside the dark little house, one would have seen that the young man was smart.

was always thinking about such things like that comparing dark little houses with piano notes coming from them to ventriloquists. His comparison in this instance is cited to prove that the young man was out of the ordinary. Who else besides an extraordinary young man would have thought that the piano notes coming from the dark little house were like the quiver of a ventriloquist's throat? The piano notes were the only things about the house that weren't mygterious. They made the house real, just like the quiver of a ventriloquist's throat ru ruing his mystery. The young man frowned.

There was another mysterious thing about that house. Two mysterious things -the girl's eyes. He had seen them only once, and that was at a dance the night before, when he had asked the girl if he might see them again, in their native haunt. That was the reason the girl was playing the piano with the electric light not turned on. She was busy waiting for the young man, the smart young man who thought the dark little house was like a ventriloquist.

HI. The young man mounted the concrete steps that led up to the sidewalk that led to the porch steps. His mind worked fast. It was his way. He wouldn't have been himself it he hadn's been putting his mind to work all time.

Mounting the concrete steps it occurred to him that the piano notes weren't really coming from the piano. They were being transferred in some way to the house, just as words are transferred from the ventriloquist's throat to the dummy boy. The house gathered the piano notes up and pushed them out the front door. The dark little house was making music. It couldn't have been any other way for the young man.

He liked mystery, although he was always trying to pierce mysteries. He was smart. Don't forget that- he was a smart He even must have gone to collegian. IV. The young man had met the girl at a dance night before, and her eyes had impressed him.

The rest of her was all right--but eyes, they were teries. Mysteries he couldn't pierce. It is a way with men that they are fascinated with things they can't understand. The smart young man was fascinated. As he stepped to the front porch he was almost ready to explode with expectation.

Tonight he was going to see those eyes again; he was going to try to find out all about them. knocked. V. The dark little house stopped pushturning the piano notes out through the front door. Snap! and an electric light was turned on.

The girl greeted him, saw him in. He looked at her. He saw only her eyes. The house, the piano, the girl disappeared, and only the eyes remained. Two mysteries that almost overwhelmed the young man.

Two mygteries that had taken hold of him the half into insensibility. He started to ask the girl another question about her eyes VII. It was 9:30 o'clock. The dark little house didn't gather up piano notes and push them out the front door. The girl wasn't waiting for anyone.

She was busy thoughts. The thoughts busy, were of her eyes. She actually was SO busy think about. her eyes that she hadn't forgotten to turn off the electric light. Other thoughts, too, were in her mind.

Why hadn't she let a smart young man call on her before? Why hadn't anyone ever told her before that her eyes mystified him? "To think what I have missed." flashed through girl's mind. "All the other fellows just said: 'Some eyes, young or 'You can look here is a young man, a smart young man, who is mystified by my eyes. whatever that is." She put her hand on his arm. "You don't mind the light not being on?" she asked. The answer was followed by a small spell of silence.

Then the young man said: "If the light is off, I can't see your eyes." 0 a THE YOUNG MAN CONSIDERED THE QUESTION OF EYES RIPE. night before at the dance. The man and the girl went to the piano bench, sat down. VI. At 9 o'clock, after the young man and the girl had become acquainted, following their hasty meeting at the dance and the few trips about the polished floor, the young man considered the question of eyes ripe, SO he said: "Tell me, what makes your eyes SO big and so dark and so round?" don't know," said the girl, laughing.

"What do you want to know that for?" The young man blushed, turned his head away from her. There was silence a moment while the young woman played I a few notes on the piano: "I just to know," said the young man. eyes mystify me." wanted. "Mystify?" said the young woman. "Mystify?" She played the piano a little louder.

She laughed. "Mystify?" she ecoed. "Yes." the young man persisted. "Your eyes they are so mysterious. So big and round and dark.

I can't understand them." The young woman laughed again. She sank -deep into her own little pool of vanity. She raised her eyes to the young man, and he trembled all over. The eyes took hold of him, shook him, cuffed him around the room, beat him WE DO HOPE SIR ARTHUR HAS MADE ALLOWANCE FOR LOCAL CONDITIONS. BET HE COULDN'T CONAN DOYLE DO THAT ON OF THE ONE PER.

WORLD CENT. The Humorist's Creed From Life, That men invariably detest their married, That all doctors wear beards. That a collar button, dropped. rolls under the bureau. That a marriage between an Ameriand a foreign nobleman is can heiress bound to end unhappily.

That reformers solemn-visalter fellows. wearing funereal high hats, Prince Albert coats, cotton gloves and white wash ties. That all Englishmen are all Russians are unshaven; all Chinamen are in the laundry business; negroes are lazy, Spaniards are unusually passionate. That a blind beggar is always ready to step out of his role long enough to take squint at every pretty, short skirted woman who passes by. That all golfers are liars.

KANSAS NOTES. A Hiawatha woman asked her husband he did not bring her anything from Chicago, on his return from a recent trip. He told her that he looked all over Marshall Field's store and couldn't find anything good enough for her. The Beacon diagnoses this spring Wichita, some folks are kicking about as the same disease they've had all winter. As yet, says the Atchison Globe, they have failed to produce a motor car as pretty as a pretty horse.

"A man of singularly flighty instincts found the meaning of concentration the other says Rolla Clymer in the Eldorado Times. "He arose from his downy couch in answer to a telephone call at the witching' hour of midnight, and collided with chair, practically ruining one toe and entirely demolishing all his religion. He makes the unqualified statement, and the Times it without comment, that he couldn't get his mind off that toe all the rest of the night." A customer received a severe shock' from an electric hair clipping machine in an Atchison barber shop the other day. The customer was occupying the first chair, near the plate glass window. A new glass was put in the lowing morning.

"There is a big argument as who best perfected the art of self defense, the boxers or the wrestlers." notes the Jewell Republican. "We are putting our money on the foot racers." A town's metropolitan standing is measured these days not by its wickedness, but by its reforms. Parsons stepped into the fore last week when the chief of police issued an order prohibiting flappers from smoking in public. The Fredonia Herald has long observed that the boy with the long string of fish seldom takes the shortest way home. EDITOR BEGINNING TO WORRY.

We have a subscriber who used to pay for the Kansan every time he got drunk. We've just about caught up with him, for he hasn't paid us a cent since the bone dry law went into effect. -Gomer Davies in Concordia Kansan. A. R.

Nordstrum, the new editor of the Marquette Tribune, makes a fine impression, the Herington Sun believes, by omitting "all fine writing and high sounding promises from his salutatory." So far the only people who have not been quoted on the flapper evil, according to the Kansas Industrialist, are the presidents of the barber colleges and the editors of the brewers' handbook. A farmer's wife south of Soldier dropped a basket containing a setting of eggs for which she had paid more than the usual price, says the Soldier Clipper. Twelve of the eggs were cracked, but instead of discarding them she patched the cracks with white of other eggs. And eleven of them hatched. The people of Horton for many years have had the notion that Ewing Herbert of the Hiawatha World was unfriendly to them, but the Wathena Times thinks this is a mistake.

Only the other day Mr. Herbert expressed great worry be. cause the Horton people were not attending the big revival at Hiawatha, fearing that if they didn't hurry to the meetings they would all go to hell. George's Lament. In the gloaming, oh, my darling.

When the lights are dim and low, That your face is powder painted How am sweetheart, to know? Twice Every this coat that month I I've had to bundle! possess To the cleaner's -won't you. darling, Love me more and powder less? -London Opinion. Not Playing Fair. From Life. The Other Twin (at prayers) Mamma! Will you make Freddie stop? He asks God to bless me, then he says things under his breath.

The day is ended! Ghostly shadows creep Along each dim-lit wall and corridor. The bugle sounds as from some fairy shore, Silvered with sadness. somnolent and deep, Darkness and bars! God Shall we curse or weep? A last. lone pipe is tapped the floor: A guard slams shut heavy iron doors: The day is ended go to sleep -to sleep! Three times it sounds -weird lullaby of doomQuivers and dies--while fecund Night gives birth To other days like this day that is done. Does Morning really live, beyond the gloomThis deep black pall that hangs upon the earth? He fears the dark who dares to doubt the sun -Ralph Chaplin in the Liberator.

STARBEAMS. Senator Reed's friends produce a letter showing the senator was in good with Mr. Wilson in 1913. Well, Connie Mack was in good with the Philadelphia fans about that time, too, but he has some hope this year. The President's recent vacation may have been for relaxation from problems of state, and then again it may have been a desire to retire somewhere and express his opinion of congress where nobody could hear.

"Lots of romances, begin in prison," says the Eastern penitentiary. If there are prison romances now. doubt have been in ages past. Perhaps some of the best families of today resulted from a prison romance. But it might be hard to verify this theory from the family records.

HERE'S THE HENRY ALLEN WHITE COMPLEX AGAIN. The New York Evening Post's Liter. ary Review. recommending a book 011 industrial courts, says, "Governor White of Kansas has told the story of the Kansas Industrial Relations court in his book. "The Party of the Third Part" (Harper), the most useful single book on this subject." Instead of training seals to do absurd and useless tricks on the circus platform, are the intelligent creatures not arained to do jury service in Callfornia, the juror's paradise? THE DAY.

"Fine day, judge!" airily saluted the offending motorist. "Eh yop!" answered old Squire Ramsbottom of Petunia. "Fine ye $10 and costs today." Otis Skinner says slang is ruining the English language. The language is like our diet. It would be dreadfully dull it it contained only the things that are proper and good for us.

It has been greatly enriched and spiced by some well chosen slang. But when it goes all to cheese and custard, its. value as chow is nix. It is said that Lenine stayed away from the Genoa conference on account of a conspiracy to kill him. It is unlikely that a mere bomb plot would keep him away.

Perhaps there were more interesting plots against him in Moscow that he didn't want to miss. The bank which tries for the record of being the most-robbed bank in the country will always have a stiff competitor in the baby's bank. A Los Angeles man with a lot of money and time is building a yacht of original design and solid mahogany. Making it out of his own head, so to speak. "The public must decide," says WIll Hays of the movies, concerning Fatty Arbuckle's on the screen.

That ought satisfactory to come body. There is never a hung jury, nor a trumped-up appeal, when the public gives a verdict. The advertisements have a good deal to say of the new 3-piece street costume for women. Is that the one which, when worn complete, gives the impression of two pieces forgotten? Mr. Lemmie Peters, who won th' house an' lot fer th' best essay on ownin' your own home, has traded' th' same fer an Martin.

CHIDING UNCLE FOGY. You are old, Uncle Fogy, and there is enough moss on your back to feed a reindeer. You are out of date, a hasbeen, a fossil, a back number, and so forth. If you were not, when those pimply, blaw-hawing young louts annoy you with their asinine blather, you would smile patiently and utter some silly remark about youthful spirits, instead of denouncing them for the infernal nuisances that they are. AT AN ARKANSAW WEDDING.

now who gives away the The preacher asked. "I A feller in the crowd replied. "But 1 don't want to -Tennyson J. Daft. APPROPRIATE ACTION.

"I don't like the way they're running the Bee Hive store in town!" grumbled a neighbor. "Neither do returned the gaunt Missourian, "and b'durned if I'm going there any more to get stung!" Music Is Essential Music and Growing Children Music is their birthright. It is the finest, cleanest, most wholesome means of recreais educational; its influence is for culture and refinement. Every home with children should have music. And the Jenkins plan makes "owning" So easy.

See the new player piano we are selling, with bench and $18 worth of music, for $450. It is fully guaranteed, is serviceable, and easy to play. $25 sends handsome. it home, $12 monthly pays. If You Can't Call, Write.

Price One I. W. JENKINS No SONS' MUsIc Co. Commission 1015 Walnut, K. Mo.

646 Minnesota, K. Kas. The House That Guarantees All Its Pianos. TAPS. THE KANSAS CITY STAR FOUNDED SEPTEMBER, 1880, BY WILLIAM R.

NELSON. Address All Letters: THE KANSAS CITY STAR, KANSAS CITY. MO. SUBSCRIPTION RATES -Morning. evening and Sunday (thirteen papers a week), delivered by carrier in Kansas City, 10 cents week elsewhere, 15 cents week.

By mail, postalse prepaid, cents a week. Entered as seco: 1 class matter at the postoffice at Kansas City. Mo, under Act of March 3, 1879. Pubfication office, Eighteenth street and Grand avenue. Postage for Single Contes- For an 8.

10 or 12-page 1. cent: 16 to 24 pages, 2 cents; over paper, pages, add 1 cent for each 8 pages or fraction of 8. MEMBER OF THE ASSOCIATED PRESS. 'The Associated Press 1g exclusively entitled to the use for republication of all news credited to It or not otherwise credIted in this paper, and also the local news published herein. All rights of republication of special dispatches also reserved.

Evening and Sunday (daily Morning (daily average) ..223,027 WEDNESDAY, APRIL 19. JOHN P. O'NEILL was named to the city plan commission because of his "long and faithful services to the Democratic party," which is the basis the boss eystem is run on. IN A MENACING WORLD. The drawing together of Germany and Russia, as demonstrated by the treaty just announced.

must make the great peace loving powers consider lest they too far in reducing armaments. would be foolish to assume that human nature has been materially changed the war. A military alliance between Germany and Russia is one of the sibilities that must be taken into the account. Such an alliance would be menace to peace. In view of this situation it would an invitation to another war for the Entente powers to go too far in the dis.

carding of defenses. As a matter of self preservation the United States cannot afford to reduce the personnel of its army and navy in the radical way proposed by the pacifists in congress. only sure defense in an uneasy world lies in its own resources. It must be in a position to make use of them. Such course would be the best possible insurance against war.

It is still true as John, Fiske wrote: peace of the world "can be through the gradual permanent, of preponderant military "strength in the hands of the most "pacific nations." WELL, Jack Dempsey has arrived in France safely. Jack has a habit of being places safely. And of course he will visit the tomb of Lafayette, and there give utterance to soine appropriate epigram. ROAD DRAINAGE AND MAINTENANCE IN MISSOURI. The message on roads brought back from a study of European, particularly English, highways, by Mr.

Theodore Gary, chairman of the Missouri state highway commission, is in large part 8 reiteration of the fundamentals of road work everywhere. Mr. Gary emphasises two phases of road work which recently have come in for a good share of attention but which have not yet been given the place in actual practice they must have if the vast sums invested in American roads are to serve a good purpose. "Drainage and maintenance," says Mr. Gary.

"We have not learned the meaning of these two words yet." The lack of attention to both these features of hard roads is perfectly obvious to any persons travel many miles on such roads. Improper drainage is the secret of many a road "going to pieces" almost from the time construetion has ceased. Much road building has proceeded without regard to the fact that the soil beneath the roads is pretty much like a sponge when it comes in contact with water, and on the apparent theory that the best place for a nice little stream is somewhere about the middle of the constructed road. No road can stand up unless drainage is provided for, and it the highway system of Missouri is built with that idea in mind it will be in a fair way to yield the people a good return on their money, But the return can't be continuous unless the roads are kept in constant repair. Mr.

Gary indicates that he is a perfect convert to the belief that no such thing as a "permanent" road is to be had. Only the agents of material concerns can tell you how to build a permanent road or a road that "you "can forget about for eight or ten years: "and at least if it costa anything to keep "It up, the amount will be so little you "won't think anything about it." We are not looking for that kind of road in Missouri; thanks for the advice. just the same. Missouri must provide for maintenance of its road system. The new highway law gives the state commission authority to "Investigate and determine the best methods of construction and maintenance of highways and bridges." Also, the commission is "empowered and "directed to take whatever steps may "be necessary to cause said state system to be constructed at the "earliest possible time, consistent with "good business management and funds "available.

after this act takes effect. "and also to provide for the proper "maintenance of said state highway gys. "tem." The commission may provide for the maintenance, however, only after the funds for that purpose have been made available. According to calculations prior to adoption by the people of the good roads amendment in November, 1920. the state motor vehicle license fund will be sufficient to care for interest and sinking fund for the state road bonds and also a substantial sum annually for maintenance of the state road gystem.

It is doubtful if this gum would be sufficient for all maintenance purposes. In any case, authorization for its use will have to come from the voters of the state through additional amendment, a proposition that may be passed upon at the general election this fall. By this means, or otherwise. Missouri must have its road maintenance fund. Only through such a fund, properly administered, can there be any assurance VIII.

Every story, it seems, should have a point. Here was a girl who was busy at night just waiting for someone-until someone arrived, she was busy thinking about herself. That's one point. Another point is, here was a young man who was smart; he up against a mystery he couldn't begin to solve, and yet it seemed very simple. He went over to see a girl because she had mysterious eyes, and after he got to her house he was glad the electric light was turned off so he couldn't see her eyes any more.

There are all kinds of points to this story. Think, for instance, of a girl not knowing heself here eyes mysterious. Again, think of eyes being able to--but you can guess what happened a night or two later. And again, think of eyes- -mysterious eyes that can not be explained- eyes, eyes, eyes, There really wasn't anything mysterious about the girl's eyes, for she didn't have a mystery in her head -except, perhaps, the one as to why the young man wondered about the mystery of her eyes. She didn't know why her eyes were mysterious; he wanted to know, but finally gave up.

It would seem that the big point to the story is that there are some mysteries in the world that people don't want to solve. INDIANA SENATOR LIKES PIE. Only Two Edible Kinds, Hot and Cold. Says Watson. From the National Republican.

If you want to start a beautiful friendship with Senator James Watson of Indiana, just offer him a nice, generous wedge of good home-made pie, and then some more. Watson is as fond of pie as "Uncle Joe" Cannon is of cigars, or "Marse Henry" Watterson used to be juleps. as. Recently he was invited to take dinner at the home of a western senator. The wife, desiring please the Indianan, asked what was his favorite dessert.

"Pie. madam, pie," was his courteous reply. "And what kind of pie do you prefer?" she inquired. "My dear lady," he smiled back at her, "don't you know that there are only two kinds of pie that are fit to eat?" "Why, no; I supposed there were more than that; pray tell me what are the two kinds that you think are fit to eat." "Hot and cold." The hostess made good by, placing a sizable slab of both kinds at his plate. During the last campaign Watson ate one day in a small restaurant in a country village while waiting for his train.

After disposing of many sandwiches and several cups of coffee, he asked the proprietor, whom he had known from boyhood, if he had any pie. "Yes, siree." was the prompt answer. "What kind are they?" inquired the senator. "Open-face, cross-barred and kivered." proudly asserted the man of quick meals. "Yes, but what's inside of them?" persisted Watson.

"Why. dried apples, of course! Say, Jim, where in tarnation do you think you are, anyway! This ain't the Waldorf Astory." Expert Advice. From Life. The Bride I'm in an awful mess here, mother. I simply can't get my expense account to balance.

Mother--It's quite simple, my dear. Deduct the items you can remember from the amount had to begin with and call the difference sundries. One Road to Happiness. From the Washington Star, "De way to be happy," said Uncle Eben, "is to let yohself alone an' quit thinkin' 'bout de things dat don' happen to suit you." CASTORIA Bears the signature of Chas. H.

Fletcher. In use for over thirty years and The Kind You Have Always Bought. --Adv..