Abilene Reporter-News from Abilene, Texas on January 16, 1927 · Page 42
Get access to this page with a Free Trial

Abilene Reporter-News from Abilene, Texas · Page 42

Abilene, Texas
Issue Date:
Sunday, January 16, 1927
Page 42
Start Free Trial

FOUR THE WESTERN WEEKLY, SUNDAY JANUARY 16, 1927 GO WEST YOUNG MAN White Prints a Paper in Emporia BY WILL ROGERS *FHIS is going to read kinder like one ^ of my old friend Arthur Brisbane's dally letters when he is crossing the great American Desert. ' Arthur always tella you in a maryelously interesting Way what he is looking out.of the wiri- iflow and seeing-. Now I havent got as much imagination as Arthur, or^my eyes are not as good, or something, for it wont take nje long to tell you what I am looking out of the window of this train and seeing. If I cant describe it at this minute why I can wait till late this afternoon and look out and still be able to describe it. It will still be there no matter where you are. But you see" thats what makes Mr. Brisbane such a high salaried man, is that lie can see things. The tlifference in our salary is Just the difference in how much more ahead he can see than I can. and the things he is able to see, that dont show op at all for me. I forgot to tell you just what the great 350 REWARD 960 wfll be paid If R. V. Turner's Quick Re- Hef Salves faDa to relieve croup, head colds, catarrh, sore throat, headache, earache, eczema, Itch, burns, risings, brulsee, cute, sores. Thenmatlc pains or piles. It is one of the aoverrul. penetrating, germ-killing, pain-re- fleYlng and healing salves known to science. flemoves coma to a few hours without pain; also eeed warts. Large box by mail 60c, JAgefita wanted. Write for special terms. B. V.' {Turner, Box 1122, Montgomery, Ala. . Send for 20 battta ud ft true wmm--jmt write to .CHICAGO. IUU C431 Underground Treasures HOW AND \VHKRE TO FIND THEM FREE particulars. Write TODAY INFORMATION' INSTITUTE Desk 106, G. P. O. JB. 223, Xcw York PUT STOMACH IN ORDER AT ONCE 'Tape's Diapepsin" for Gas, Indigestion or Sour Stomach Instantly! Stomach corrected! You never feel the slightest distress from indigestion or a sour, acid^ gassy stomach, after you eat a tablet of ^Tape's Diapep- ·In." The moment it reaches the stomach an sourness, flatulence, heartburn, gases, palpitation and pain disappear. Druggists guarantee each package to correct digestion at once. End your stomach trouble f»r few cent*. American Desert was and -where it starts in. It puts in a few miles east of Cleveland, .Ohio. Then you keep passing through it right on through Toledo. The Wills Knight blacksmith shop kinder breaks the - monotony for, a : few hundred feet there, and then you get nothing but desert from there into Niles Michigan, where the train stops to have them point out the birthplace of Ring Lardner. There is a giant "Yucca" tree that marks the spot. They water it with Gin to keep it alive. Then you dont hit -much vegitation till you get to Gary, Indiana. That is the town tJiat is responsible for the optomlstic speeches of Judge Gary. Gary and Bethleham, Pa., have been responsible xfor two set speeches that have- gone through and stood the gaff of a million banquets, -as follows, "P^rom where I sit and from my observation and knowledge the coming year should be the most prosperous that we have ever encountered." Useless Oration^-If" somebody Invents something that is cheaper than steel and Steel ever has a slump,.why there is going to be two of the most useless after dinner speeches on the market that was ever unleashed. Then she is barren again after you get, out of this optomism till yoli hit Chicago. You can tell before you get to it. You will hxr the shooting. Pull down your blinds and turn on your ventilators. You will have to change trains there, as no train, has ever made up its mind to go through there. The first Railroad that ever does take you through there without a change I would rather have stock in It than in General Motors. There is no more reason why a person in a hurry to get from one end of our con- .tinent to the other should have to change cars in Chicago than there is in Rockford, 111. The Sante Fe has a new train on now that cuts the time down. You leave Chicago in the night. You can't sec, and you dont miss much till the next morning. Out on the banks Of the Ivaw there is Kansas City. Just a western Town set right up on some hills. They have a new Depot in place of the old Grip Exchange they used toave down in the holler there. Kansas City is a. kind of a tradin' post for Oklahoma, and all that part of Kansas that has anything to trade. If Jim Reed is not there when you go through there is no use stopping. But if he Is in the village that day, go and ask him what he thinks of the Government as it is- operated today, and it_will be well worth your time to stay over a day an'd listen to it. Thats where the "Covered Wagon" started from, and the reason they had it covered was so the people inside the wagons couldent see where they were going. " Why if they had been able to have -looked out they would have jumped out before they got hair way across Kansas. The next sign of - any kind of habitation in any way after you leave the Kaw, is, In a few hours you look out of the window and you will see an old fellow setting ... around a printing Press under the shade of a Juniper tree. Well, that is William Randolph White, and he Is trying to get out the Emporia Gazette. Its what the Arizona Kicker used to be. Its pretty baren around there outside of a school they have there that they call "Normal." But I doubt if It is. Small Town Merchant, Fred Harvey-"Well on the way west from there Just aint nothing unless you look off to th« south where you .-can just see the fertile vegetation of Oklahoma. Things grow just about up ,, to where the line of Kansas starts In. We kept a-going. Just sage brush, and cactus and Mesquitd" bushes. On down into New Mexico to where a fellow ^a? some .Navajo Blankets to sell. It was called Albaquerque. This fellow's name that run the little store there was Fred Harvey. Right along there aboiut this little section house of Albaquerque why we commenced to run out of the desert and - gradually things begin to get green and pretty and by the time we got to anoth- place where there was a switch where you passed trains, things was just a booming .from a vegetation- standpoint. You are out of the desert. The switch was called Gallup. Then on across Arizona. Arizona is the^only state that has two Senators to one Congressman. What a lucky thing for us they don't all have two Senators to one Congressman! Just think if ninety cant .ever agree, what would a thousand do? They are doing a lot of argument over who is going to darn up the Colorado River. We have lived since 1492. without it being dammed, but it looks like it needs damming. Los Ange-les ha sent got enough water for Movie peoples swimming pools, and if we are to have "Clean Pictures" why this dam is almost necessary. Will Hayes is for it, and they have got to give him what he wants or he wont manage their. Campaign in 28. Well, the trip from then on across Arizona and east of Los Angeles was just one Oasis" after another. You can just throw anything out and it will grow there. I like- Arizona. She is a real cattle country, and the old big stock, pens along the railroad sho look good. Europeans all left the main line to go see the Grand Canyon, but Americans went right on out to Long Beach. They are waiting till they save enough to go to Europe and really see something worth while. But it's a great trip out here and everybody should take it. As I say, after you get through that Desert and uninteresting part from Astabula to just west of Dodge City. I would like to give this story a real Brisbane touch and I believe I can do it, and be Jn keeping with my own policy. Here-,! have been on this train for days, and I should have been able to fly from Xew York out here In two days. I wish we could take all our Government to Europe, Including the President* the Senate and Congress and just show them for a minute what the rest of the world is doing. We are always yapping about being in such a hurry in this Country and it takes us longer to get anywhere than anybody in the world. I am in favor of making Arthur Brisbane Secretary of Aviation Coolidge Is in favor of economy in all OIT various defense. If we have a war he will vote to "have a cheap war." (Copyright 1527. The McNaught Syndicate, Inc.) P R g »*4» 9URED or costs Nothing I l_E.£t *° prove *"» l wm *«*$ · ^··'·^ you a regular $1 treatment of my fan-jus Kurd home rem- - edy absolutely FREE. If it cures pay II, otherwise you owe nothing. -* 1 ' W R. DARLIINGTON, 1206 Kuro Bldg., Kansas City, Missouri IDALORF The above letten wkea properly arranged font the name of the ao* prominent aad «reatett trowing State IK the Union. Anyone sending ia the correct solution will be awarded a buikiia* lot. sire 23x100 feet. Free *nd Qear of afl encanbrances, located in one of oar subdtvMoM la the above State. This offer expires for. 15, MAJA SALES CORPORATION UOW««t4«Btt..Ot»t ^ AT FACTORY PRICES OAVErmiler'sprofit. Bargain* infinenif- *2 fle curtain*, cets and p*nel»,directfroia factory. All shade* and colon. Finert anil- ity and workmatuhip. Lowest prices. FtalJT guaranteed. Send for F9BK CATALOG* HOMESTEAD MtLL.«80ET1itKl Strttt Milwaukee, Wisconsin San Angela Cow-Boy 3oot Shop Forty years here in business. A l l Boots guaranteed to have first class material and to be strictly hand-made 311-2 E. Concho Avenue San Angelo, » Texas DR. W. B. CALDWELL. AT THE AQE OF 68 Constipation! How to Keep Bowels Regular To Dr. W. E. Caldwell of Montieello, 111,, a practicing physician for 47 years, it seemed cruel that so many constipated men, women, children, and particularly Ola folks, had to be kept constantly "stirred up" and lialf sick by taking cathartic pills, tablets, salts, calomel and nasty oils. , While he knew that constipation was the cause of nearly all headaches, biliousness, Indigestion and stomach misery, he did not believe that a sickening: "purge" or "physic" was necessary. In Dr. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin he discovered a laxative which helps to establish natural bowel "regularity" even for those chronically constipated. Dr. Caldwell's Syrup Pepsin not only causes a gentle, easy bowel movement but. best of all, ft never gripes, sickens, or upsets the system. Besides, it is absolutely harmless, and so pleasant that even a cross, feverish, bilious, sick child gladly takes it. Buy a large Q-cent bottle at any store that sells medicine or write "Syrup Pepsin^* Montieello, Illinois, for a FREE SAMPLE BOTTLE and just see for yourself. ' " . " · ' Dr.CaJdwelFs SYRUP PEPSIN

Get access to Newspapers.com

  • The largest online newspaper archive
  • 20,900+ newspapers from the 1700s–2000s
  • Millions of additional pages added every month

Try it free