The Times from Munster, Indiana • 39

THE WIZARD OF 1 fill Chr tvry Suntoy THE TIMES Thursday, January 11, 1973 39 THE GIRLS ITWIYT2K TH4rk MMATfc MED I TtfBwuPlTJ lit WiTW-iT By Franklin Folger Brother Juniper ft 1 I In Full Coor Enry iu4y DOTTY I'P UKSTO WAVe.rtAVBTHAT'SIB- I THINK WB SOOP 90MB HAM ANP WW STILL I'UU TAK6 EVEN IM RESTAURANTS I feBT 2 UBPTOVERS In. full Coor vtry Sunday FREDDY "He claims he's exercising his prerogatives; I claim he's wearing out the equipment." "Oh, I don't bother with coasters any more no matter how many you put out, people always se4 their glasses down wxt i them." Not Everybody Wants To Be 100 -v NO nJ plr TEST TOMORROW- WOW A WHOLE EVENING A i Ns hoeworkN all we gotta do vto rest avy poor wore-outJ Jf 77K JACKSOIS TWINS BEVERLY HILLS-I made a pest of myself at Adolph Zukor's 100th birthday party given by Paramount Pictures at the Beverly Hilton by asking the glittery celebrities (more than a hundred famous names were on the dais) whether they wanted to live to be a century old. hundred years, but that there was no likelihood that Charles Bludhron, the head of the company, would permit him to do so. Yablans is 37. Jack Benny, the perpetual 39-year-cld, denied a story attributed to him.

Allegedly he congratulated Zukor on his "No, I'm tired now," said George Raft, who's 69, but Bob Hope said, "You GOSH. YES. I I THEY CUN OFF THIS TAPE WAIT'LL I I FAB Wi 1 IlklVk I rrrTrVr come on I vou see how the-v kev into the our 1 aMumjfSii(ZK Ji I WbMbwyiOJ IN. TWINS? I VAVOOCOO SOUNP ITU BEALLY I AMPS jfflK-illfl can bet your thing I'd like to. Arc you kidding?" Earl Wilson This question, asked in the.

VIP room and at the big dinner for 1,200 people, brought different responses. "I'd like to r' HUBERT OOOf YOUR HANDS COLO HANDS, "1 lllifl APA r- THE OLD LINES Iarelike ice, tVwarmheart; 'dUMA)0 Fv. pon't pull RE dies he goes straight to Danny Thomas's house." Despite denials for weeks by the producers, Sir John Gielgud's replacement by GowerChampon as director of Debbie Rcynolh's musical "Irene" with claims he has to return to England was the result of a backstage dispute dividing the management over whether he should stay. Sir John's backers lost Alan King told Mark Spitz: "You've done for water what Dean Martin has done for booze!" Elliott Gould showed up at the new Genesis discotheque in a 1915 Mercer car Author Mario Puzo will ask a million dollars for his next book about a best-selling author who gambles heavily Shirley Jones and Jack Cassidy claim the house they rented for the holidays is haunted. Shirley says she heard footsteps, "and they weren't Jack's." I'D RATHER BE LIGHT TODAY'S BEST LAUGH: Lester Lanin reports a thoughtful fan gave him an expensive cigaret case.

U's engraved with his initials and a health warning about smoking. WISH I'D SAID THAT: A customer at Jimmy Weston's was touched by Hazel Scott's romantic tunes: "They'd bring tears to a glass eye." REMEMBERED QUOTE: "You're getting old when everything hurts and what doesn't hurt doesn't work." EARL'S PEARLS: Tom Billy Gifiord met, the Browns' field goal kicker Don Cockroft, and exclaimed, "I'm a great fan of yours I'd like to shake your toe!" A fellow got a dividend from some stock he'd considered worthless for years, and said: "It's a real windfall like getting money from your son at college!" That's earl, brother. 100th birthday celebration, and Zukor looked at him incredulously and exclaimed, "Jack Benny! You still alive?" Benny said it's a beautiful story, but untrue. Danny Kaye said he would give a party for Jack Benny on his 100th birthday, and Jack commented, "That's the kind of steady party-giver he is." The 100-year-old birthday boy was brought to the dais vigorous and healthy-looking, but in a wheelchair, at 11:40 p.m., after an outpouring of sentimentality climaxed by Rabbi Edgar F. Magnin blessing him as he sat there.

Zukor made a brief talk looking toward the future of the motion picture business, saying there would always be a film industry. Dorothy Lamour was one of the hits of the special show, bringing out two chimpanzees she identified as "Bing Crosby" and "Bob Hope." The one called Bing didn't want to sing and the one called Bob didn't want to leave the stage. Hope, in making a presentation to Zukor, commented that the dais of more than 100 celebrities "looks like a wax museum: Do you realize that if this ceiling caves in, Troy Donohue's back in business?" He said the master of ceremonies, Charlton Heston, is "the centerfold in the Gideon Bible," and that "when he see what the hell everybody is up to 50, 60 years from now," said Michael Caine. "I love the idea of being 100." But Rose Marie, the TV star, said, "Jeez, no I went through enough as a child star. I'm happy for him to be 100, but that's not for me." Jimmy Stewart was very sober about the question.

He said quietly, "No, I've lived a good life already." George Jessel announced positively, as he looked around the room in formal dress consisting of a black cape which he said was patterned after an FDR cape (with only three medals under it), "No, I wouldn't want to live to be 100. There would be nobody left for me to do eulogies about." Bette Davis said, "I don't think so, but I don't want to die because I'm afraid I'd miss something." Groucho Marx arrived for the festive evening weaing a beret which he never took off during the evening, including the dinner. Asked whether he wanted to live to be 100, he said, "No and I don't want to be interviewed either." Zsa Zsa Gabor commented that if she ever lived to be 100 she'd only admit to being 90. Paramount Pictures president Frank Yanlans said he'd like to live out the THERE OUGHT A BE A LAW! IT6EEMS But COMES A might ndu PLANNED ON HAVING A BALL THERE6 JLI5T UOTMlMO.BUT NOTHING Hospital Cost Predicted For 2,000 GOING ON Tree buds like numerous works of art and business are usually born almost a year before you see them bloom. Q.

"JULIE ANDREWS, is that her real name?" A. She started out as Julia Wells. CITIZEN FOR CITIZEN during Dc- UQ riOMENORtffCsiGH) I MIGHT jS( AMD THERE ISN'T AS WELL WASH lT EVEN ANYTHING MV HAiR- TTT I mncvhw i25fe L. M. Boyd liver a hmmm in such a manner that it will give a patient hope, satisfy any lingering doubts about the seriousness of the ailment, and assure prompt payment ol the bill." HE WAS a thrice-married attorney in Illinois.

And when he died, in accordance with the instructions in his Last Will and Testament, his tombstone listed the names of his three wives followed by the simple sentence: "The defense rests." THERE WAS a time when not just a few circus horses, but all well-trained riding horses dropped to their knees, like camels, to receive their riders. That was before A.D. 420 when the stirrup was invented. WAS NONE other than old Henry Ford himself who sold the first used car in this country. For $1,000.

He had driven it about 1,000 true miles. Your questions and comments are welcomed and will be used in Checking Up whenever possible. Please address your letters to L. M. Boyd, co The Times, Hammond, Ind.

46325. Those prognosticators who tell us what it's all going to cost in the year A.D. 2,000 say an overnight stay in a semi-private room in the hospital then will run about $630, if increases keep at their present rate. Wait, that's not so remote. If you're in your mid-twenties now, you'll be just about of retirement age then, sir, when hospital cosLs get Significant, no? HALF THE COEDS get married within 19 months after they leave college ONLY A FOURTH of all identical twins arc mirror twins, the rarest kind THOSE CITIZENS BUND in one eye only outnumber those citizens blind in both eyes by four to one MEN SUFFER 42 per cent more injuries than women AND PLEASE NOTE, too.

East St. Louis isn't in Missouri, East Chicagi isn't in Illinois. BUDS ON TREES So you thought the buds on trees were born in the spring, did you? Not at all. Not even In the winter arc born. They just lie dormant then.

It's in the previous summer they get their start. cember, roughly twice as many people in New York as in Texas blow their noses in any given hour, that's known, too. AMONG OUR Love and War man's mentors was the great Arnold Bennett who observed: "Make love to every woman you meet; if you get 5 per cent on your outlay, it's a good investment." A NURSE TOLD mc the other night her doctor had decided to forego surgery, psychiatry, gynecology, so on, to specialize in the "Hmmm." Interesting. "In examining an x-ray," said she, "He can de Contract Fiili'illincnt Important Cops' Wives Always Under Strain As defenders, we get into the habit of leading in an "orthodox" way because of the importance of informing partner. As declarer, however, there is no need to keep partner All partner wants to know is that the con- contract was therefore safe.

DAILY QUESTION Partner opens with two spades and the next player passes. You hold: S- K73 II-5 10 9 8 4 Q-J 8 6 3 2. What do yau say? ANSWER; Bid 2-NT. You will show the spade support later, but you must avoid an immediate show of strength when your high cards consist only of one king. ers in modern society.

And they are highly trained, intelligent guardians of law and order. In fact, when I used to teach the psychology classes at our famous Northwest-cm University Traffic Institute, I would test the policemen on a standard adult intelligence test. And they scared higher thereon than did my Liberal Arts students on the Ev-anston campus! So policemen are not only smart, but Alfred Sheinwold Today in History My Tn Associated Press Today is Thursday. Jan. II, the llth day of 1973.

There are 354 days left in the year. Today's highlight in history On this date in 1943, during World War II. the United States and Britain relinquished extraterritorial rights in China. On this date: In 1569, the first lottery in England was drawn in St. Paul's Cathedral under the patronage of Queen Elizabeth I.

In 1757, the first secretary of the U.S. Treasury, Alexander Hamilton, was born on Nevis Island in the West Indies. In 1788, a band of colonists out for Ohio from Hartford, Conn. In 1861. Alabama seceded from the Union.

In 1945. a truce was declared in the Greek civil war. In 1962, an avalanche buried a village in the Andes In Peru, and 3.000 Persons were reported killed. Ten years ago. The lnited States and the Soviet Union began a round of talks in New York on a possible treaty limiting nuclear tests, Five years ago.

Israel and Egypt reached an accsrd to exchange prisoners of war under auspices of the International Red Cross. One year ago: The new state of Bangladesh was recognized by East Germany. Sunih ilonliT Noiih Sniilh vulncniWc NOKI II K7J hearts out of sheer habit. This would have been fatal. West would win with the singleton ace, and East would later get two additional trump tricks.

The three trumps and one spade would defeat the con--tract. LOW LEAD BETER South thought about the trumps for an additional moment or two. If the hearts were divided 3-2, he would have to lose two trump tricks no matter how he played the suit, lie could afford to lead a low trump the first time, and he could lead the king of trumps the next time. Tills would give the enemy only the same two trump tricks that were bound to be theirs. The advantage of leading a low trump the first time was that one of the opponents might have the singleton oic, South therefore led a low trump and saved his vulnerable game contract.

West had to win with the ace of hearts. Now South could regain the lead and draw two rounds of trumps with the king and queen. He lost only two I rump tricks in all, and the Dr. Crane shot at, without warning, In line of duty. Their widows and children, as in Vcl-ma's case, deserve nrre financial aid than the limited insurance their small salaries permit them to carry.

So the United Police Fund has been created, as a tax-exempt organization under IUS Section 501 (c) (3), to receive contributions to help policemen's widows and make it possible for their children to get an education. Instead of donating all your gifts to colleges, where rioting, drug traffic and anti-establishment ideologies are often working against our country, allocate some of your gift money to aid police families like Velma's. Send your checks to the United Police Fund, Suite 1001, Pennsylvania Washington, D.C., 20004. Remember, your contributions are entirely tax-exempt, Just like donations to churches! And they certainly will form an ideal type of "home missionary" service for our loyal policemen, who stand out bravely as the defenders of our homes, our children and our property. (Always write to Dr.

Crt ne In care of The Times, enclosing a long stamped, addressed envelope and 25 cents to cover typing and printing costs you send for one of his booklets.) i CASE V-594: Velma aged 28, is a grieving wife. "Dr. Crane," she began, "my husband became a policeman 10 years ago. "And we have 3 wonderful children. "But last week he stepped an auto mobile with some college boys in it.

"For they were transporting drugs. "And one of them shot and killed my husMind, without warning. "Oh, Dr. Crane, it Is terrible to think of trying to rear my 3 kiddies without their daddy! "For they were crazy about him. "So why do many people criticize our faithful law enforcement officers, win jeopardize their lives daily to protect all citizens?" UNITED POLICE FUND The wives rf policemen arc always under strain, lest their husbands be shot in line of duty.

For deranged and drug maddened human beings kill more than 100 police fficers each year. Yet those policemen stand. out boldly, in uniforms, to indicate that they arc protectors of women and children, as well as property. Their pay is about the equivalent of that of school teachers. But they are exposed to far greater hazards than are teachers or other work tract has been fulfilled: the details arc completely up to you.

West opened the queen of spades and continued the suit. South ruffed and had to tackle the trumps. The temptation was very strong to lend the king of 0 5 10 4 2 AST IS I AH 5 2 1 10 1 ft 7 5 10') A ft () 7 5 4 0 son 1 1 ft versatile in their training, fjr they have a practical grasp of law, medicine and even electronic equipment. "Call the police!" is thus the urgent cry of people in danger or of expectant wives who fear they can't get to the hospital in time for the delivery cf their babies. Policemen are the brave VOLUNTEER guardians of women and children, for they aren't drafted Into their dangerous profession, like the Army recruits.

Knowingly, our policemen apply for such Jobs, realizing that they may be i) 7 4 1 Akij A Day's Subject LIVERPOOL, England-Jenny Collins, a radio tulk show hostess, asked listeners Wednesday to telephone her to discuss the day's subjectapa-thy. She said no one called. I'HSS r.ivi North 2 Nl i I'llV. South a Pnv, Pass P.ISS Opening lend 4 0.