Lancaster Eagle-Gazette from Lancaster, Ohio • 23

Lancaster Eagle-Gazette, Monday, October 11, 1999UB DENNIS THE MENACE lOBLancaster Eagle-Gazette, Monday, October 11, 1999 GARFIELD FAMILY CIRCUS i5li2Lj ALL EXPENSES 1 A ONE-WAV TICKET TO NINN9 I5LANP? Misfiling keeps inmate behind bar for 19 years Chuck Shepherd FOXTROT Mom, I'M ON MY WAY To SCHOOL. 3 THINK YOU HAVE I ENOUGH Books IN THERE CORRECTION: THINK YOU HAVE PoKEMoN CARDS IN THERE I 3 11 I If TRUTHFULLY? 0l 999BiiKMne.lnc.ew 't- S17ttt 1999 KejM, Inc. PM by KinB Features itiSi now; elty in May in Los Angeles; another company is under investigation; and federal legislation has been introduced. Jeff Vilencia, whose Squish Productions is out of business, told USA Today in August that while he agrees on the immorality of squishing pets, "mice and rats might be a gray area." UNDIGNIFIED DEATHS Lovers Jose Agustin Noh and Ana Maria Camara Suarez succumbed to carbon monoxide poisoning as they slept after a bout of sex in a hearse whose engine was running to keep the air-conditioning on (Campeche, Mexico, in May). And in April, truck driver Ling Yiu-hung's 1997 death was officially ruled carbon monoxide poisoning by a Hong Kong coroner; Ling had passed out and died while stuck for hours in a traffic jam.

AKP ElNS "I think Luann calls her dog Puddles 'cause that's what he likes to run through after it rains." i. "BoYi Pays like this viake me FEEL YOUNG AGAIN!" land, was caused by his four-tooth dental plate, missing since a highway collision eight years ago but which was lodged just above his right lung. In Warminster, in September, inmate David Marshall Brown, 54, was freed after serving 34 years for felony murder. He was to have been released in 1980 on a plea bargain, but no one could find the paperwork, and Brown remained long after his co-pleader (who had his paperwork) was released. Brown's paperwork had been misfiled by his then-lawyer in his co-pleader's records.

CHUTZPAH! In August, Independence County (Ark.) Sheriff Ron Webb, freshly convicted on a federal charge of sexually assaulting a female prisoner, billed the county about $140 for car mileage and meal costs during his two-day trial in Little Rock, claiming the trial was official business. (A few days later, he withdrew some of the claims.) In June in North Knoxville, just as Sharon Gilbert was delivering an order from Glenwood Sandwich Shop to Pardon's Jewelers, a well-dressed man snatched her money bag and knocked her down. The 5-foot-3 Gilbert section was to show, via symbols, that Earthlings have mastered mathematics, but two different "equals to" symbols were used. The Dutch researcher who found the error was chagrined that aliens will now believe Earthlings "a sloppy species." In June, during a British Airways flight from London to Los Angeles, a pre-recorded emergency-warning message was accidentally transmitted to the cabin, horrifying the 400 passengers, but it was quickly turned off by the captain. He knew to act quickly because it was the third straight month that such an emergency tape had come on during a British Airways flight.

In the first glitch, in April, a voice on the tape actually told passengers that the plane was about to ditch into the Atlantic Ocean. In April, a 34-year-old Filipino seaman had to be air-evac'd to a Port Lincoln, Australia, hospital after he accidentally swallowed his four-tooth dental plate. And in June, during an operation for bowel obstruction, surgeons recovered a set of false teeth David Flanders of Mopeth, England, had accidentally swallowed as a teen-ager. And in July, a bronchoscopy revealed that the condition of MikeRussell, 60, of Bath, Eng- jumped on the man, pried the money bag loose, and chased him for a ways until he got in a car and drove away. Minutes later, according to a manager of Pardon's, the still-unidentified man called, angry, to complain about how Gilbert had roughed him up.

LATEST ECONOMIC INDICATORS According to a July San Jose Mercury News report from Zimbabwe, claims of demons and tiny "tokoloshi" gremlins have proliferated as the country reels into its third year of economic downturn. While ordinary criminals and mentally ill people are arrested or beaten up as witches, other parts of Zimbabwe society are thriving: The black-market demand for human body parts (for making evil potions) is up, and "traditional medicine" practitioners say business is good, as the country's down-and-outs purchase evil spirits to humble their enemies. RECURRING THEMES News of the Weird first reported on "crush videos" in February 1999, alarming readers that scantily clad women in stiletto heels were being photographed stomping insects and tiny animals to death for the viewing pleasure of foot fetishists. Two producers were arrested for animal cru- LEAD STORIES IN September, Italy's highest appeals court ruled that a spouse's obsession with another person was grounds for divorce even though she never had a relationship, sexual or otherwise, with the other man. A lower court had ruled that the wife, identified publicly only as Anna, was not at fault because there was no "carnal however, the Court of Cassation wrote that her constant thoughts about a bus driver whom she knew had broken her marriage's "trust and intimacy" just as surely as if the two had had sex.

Earlier this year, Mayor Dan Gibson of Crystal Springs, decided to run for the Republican gubernatorial nomination and, with the support of his wife and son, resigned and liquidated his assets to finance the campaign, including the couple's five-bedroom antebellum home, antique furniture and two Cadillacs. He finished fourth, and the Gibsons now live in a cramped one-bedroom apartment with one used car for transportation. Gibson told the Associated Press in August that he has no regrets and agrees with the voters: "I need more maturity (before holding office)." ECLIPSE MADNESS During the Aug. 11 eclipse: A baby born during the blackout was killed by its 31-year-old mother, who feared it was FUNKY WINKERBEAN BLONDIE News of the Weird thus cursed (Strahotin, Romania). Abdel-Nasser Nuredeen was charged with killing his wife because she was too fascinated by the eclipse to make him a cup of tea (Cairo, Egypt).

Bulgarian TV apologized for missing eclipse coverage because its camera crew was delayed at an erotic film shooting. A police superintendent released three prisoners under the assumption that the eclipse meant the world was ending (Picui, Brazil). OOPS! Latest Highway Truck Spills: 20 tons of dog and cat food on 1-70 near Denver (March); 1,800 liters of caramel (which required a hazardous materials cleanup crew) in Calgary, Alberta (April); thousands of cases of Anheuser-Busch beer on 1-55 in St. Louis (August); a tractor-trailer full of vodka, tequila and Scotch on Candora Avenue in Knoxville, Tenn. (June); 60 toilets being hauled on 1-25 in Albuquerque (June).

Two Canadian astronomers admitted in June that they made a serious error the month before in their 23-page message beamed into outer space designed to inform extraterrestrials that there is intelligent life on Earth. One ONE OF WW FAVORITE CONWC STRIPS. DID 56 36DI 3iE5 7 A GREAT" IDEA PETE ARE SORUy BOSS WELL AAY8E IT WANTS TO WANDER ON OVER TO THE i I 1 (f I yOU LISTENING I I SUESS MY MIND RltT THINK fA)l CAM HO lAJHtN J- (WHb K.ID.,. BriO I WE OOO LD DO SOME 'PHANIbOA (V6WACE FOR THE SCHOOL FA PER TO WAS WANDERING BETTER 30KESTHAM THESE i i jpmtTrTT SUPERSTAR (PG-13) 9:40 9:35 RANDOM HEARTS (R) I. Syndicate, loc.

All Rlghti Raaarvad. THREE KINGS (R) (1:154:00) 6:55 9:45 dig DOUBLE JEOPARDY (H) BORN LOSER FOR BETTER FOR WORSE DRIVE ME CRAZY (PG-13) BLUE STREAK (PG-13) 1 00 50 1 J05T TWS PiVM I'M SOGLADyOLi CAME? HOME FOR THE WEEKEND. 13) (120) LITTLE' THlNG-e THAT 'WKY, L'CL YOU DONTEVCM1 mOH KOJ TO NKVlOAie YOOP. WHEN 1 ON THE" PLIS, I KEPT FEELING-THIS ACHE INSIPE. I OUST FiVCeiT.THOKKrVPPLe, TGCKHOLOblC N-LY SPeKiClMG, MYSTERY, ALASKA (R) THE SIXTH SENSE (PG-13) FOR LOVE OF THE GAMEfPG-RUNAWAY BRIDE (PG) KNOW WHAT I THE STRANGEST STUFF POG WAKING-fVUP, ME MOM TO no aoo.i mom to ELIZABETH -1 CODLPN'T ftMiinu'T YOU KE WKY KOUHP r-r-'n WKYKKOMP TO IP i METoaVTl PPS rc- ymm SET HOME.

MUMFORD(R) CLEAN UP My ROOM, THE INTERACT 1 i hp why you Mam Event goi e. Main St. 687-1021 Monday Night Football 25 Wings- 50 Drafts Tuesdays 2St Wings All day Wednesday Saturday Nights DJ Dancing 689-2533 1283 N. MEMORIAL DR. PLAZA SHOPPING CENTER Thursday Ladies Night Mini-Margarita Daquari RANDOM HURK IR) IRammIbibr) 6:50, 9:40 SUPERSTAR (PG-13) (tomMfy) 7:00,9:00 8LUE STREAK (PG-1 3) (ComedyAction) 6:45,1:50 DRIVE ME CRAZr PG-1 31 CCmKtvl 6:45,9:00 FOR 1HE LOVE OF THE GAME (PG-13) (tamtoml 6:45, 9:35 ELMO III GROUCHLAND G) (MyMl 6:50, 8:40 D0U11E JEOPARD! (R)toii1ti) 7:15,9:45 MYSTERY, ALASKA 18) Kmndyl 7:30 THREE KINGS (RllOrswl 7:30,10:00 SBSENSEIPt-UKlloiral 7:45,10:05 MUHDR)My) 10:00 Malinees on Sal Sun, Holidays Only All Ages, All Times $4.00 HHR 1 HH i flBBH-l l5GL isL nMi2iJkW WIZARD OF ID DILBERT He neve-pT hi 7 irtcovi-vvsN? I I I fyouR project is I r- REAP ME MY Mf THAT) I WOULPNT HAVE TCOENTY PERCENT I THAT'S BECAUSE I HATE rs MHVy QVER BUDGEX AND YOU BUNGLED THE THE WORD jjk''' 'j TUQ0NTS LJ RESOURCE "BUNGLED." ARLO JANIS BEETLE BAILEY 1 I Yft Umtkl UUAT AT I AU AA0P "APDr AlCALU I OlT VAt) LAkAC I DtrA a Tjr Pnr Specials 50 Drafts WCHEERS! PO01 STICKS ON 5AU NEW BILLIARD TABLES! Good friends! Good Food! Monty to Drink! TV TONIGHT Crossword MONDAY EVENING OCTOBER 11, 1999 Answer to Previous Puzzle HOTHEMAIL? OF THE DGAL.6 APEM'f 6M I WHICH HAND AO ESCORT jE MdS 40 Author of "Picnic" 41 Actress Charisse 42 True-blue 44 H.S.

student's certificate 45 Coal unit 46 Brimless hat 48 Holy place 51 Move speedily 55 Certain apartment rental 56 Wipes out 57 Poet Dickinson 58 Most docile DOWN ACROSS 1 Steals 7 Highway cone 12 Most sensible 13 Bundle (grain) 14 Insufficient 15 Biblical mount 16 Cruise or Selleck 17 Vegas 18 IRS employee, perhaps 21 Devout 23 Mercury or Saturn 26 Egg center 28 Art deco illustrator 29 Roman 56 30 Lone performance 31 Saved 33 Attemptable 36 Posterior 37 de France 38 Tunes HI LOIS Horoscope YOU) SHOULPM'T 1 'r 1 I (SHOULC? If, LOOK AT A A CHANCE To eppess yourself IN A DIFFERENT fvAEPUAA rANTlNiS AS A CHORE PEAK. PANTlNJO AS A LOOK AT I CHORE r-? I' I 1 Draft agcy. 2 Mil. gal 3 One million 5 Prevent, legally 9 4 -up 6 Foil 10 (repressed, like 7 Word groups 11 emotions) 8 Affirmations 13 Ape Eggs I Court divider Greet, as a soldier fibrosis Illy United STUMPED? Call for Answers Touch-tone or Rotary Phones 1 8 95e per minute 1 -900-860-4500 ext. code 000 1 9 CRANKSHAFT from the hard-hearted today.

The people who will be the most helpful and come through for you will be those with compassionate natures. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 19) Others will instinctively realize it will be a sound choice to look to you for leadership. They'll see that you're definitely the guy or gal who should be up front.

PISCES (Feb. 20-March 20) Secret ambitions you're nurturing should continue to be given top priority today. You're on the right track and any new step you take brings you closer to fulfillment. ARIES (March 21-April 19) One of your greatest assets is your ability to present things with wit and humor, even when you're being critical. Today this attribute will be prevalent in all your dealings.

TAURUS (April 20-May 20) Thank goodness you're a Taurus blessed with broad shoulders, because a matter that another has mismanaged may be a lash on Tuesday, Oct. 12, 1999 The aspects indicate that in the year ahead you should be able to bring an ambitious project to fruition. It could be something you've worked on for a long time and would benefit many. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct.

23) Everyone remembers actions better than words. Something nice you go out of your way to do for another will forever be credited to you in a most flattering way. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 22) One who has your interests at heart will trigger something today, albeit subtle, that could have tremendous future potential for strengthening your financial position.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) It'll be your natural charm that others find so appealing that will get you what you want today without being aggressive or forceful. People will want to do things for you. CAPRICORN (Dec.

22-Jan. 19) Don't even attempt to seek favors your back today. You'll be able to sort things out rather quickly. GEMINI (May 21-June 20) Consider everyone's views or suggestions today, especially your mate's, when analyzing a critical issue. Your spouse may be just the one to offer a sound solution.

CANCER (June 21-July 22) A sharp innovation you'll make today will lighten your load considerably for now and in the future. It will modify a procedure for a task that was always difficult to perform. LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Try to be a bit more attentive today to friends or loved ones of whom you've been a bit neglectful in the past week. What you share together will turn out quite pleasant.

VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You'll end up feeling really good about yourself today if a family member is in need of assistance and you are ready and available to help out. Be on call. rlrTTTWnmmmf 8 WW" T5 Wrn TrLp: IF" Jff 25 Wmzb so HH si HHl; 37 me SH i iWw4i lpjHr I bbii 53 57 fl 22 Solar system i model 23 Giving hints to i 24 Retaliate for 25 Disencumbered 27 Hawaiian timber tree 32 O'Hare's loc.

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So, you should apply your mind to a 4-0 split. If West has all four trumps, you are down. But if East has all four, you can pick them up as long as your first spade play is low to the ace. You must keep both your honors, the king and queen, hovering over East's jack and 10. Then you can remove East's spades without loss by twice leading through him and covering his card as cheaply as possible.

True, East will have all four trumps only some 5 percent of the time, but 5 percent is 5 percent. It's a monumental edge for a casino boss, and perhaps a match winner for a bridge expert. By PHILLIP ALDER Bridge experts know that having a 2 percent edge in a line of play usually means nothing, and sometimes even less. Occasionally, the "incorrect" line of play works, whereas the expert's approach fails but not always. How would you play in four spades here? The defenders take three club tricks before casting adrift in diamonds.

You have lost the three tricks that you can afford. Both red suits are solid, so the only potential problem is in the trumps. However, with only four missing, surely a 3-1 or 2-2 split isn't too much to request. And if the trumps are splitting favorably, there will be no further prob- WIND WOULD did sou THINK WOULD HAPPEN If WOU LEFT A bmP BLOUSE IN THE DRVER FOR THREE INCOMPETENT I iw vvi i VOU REfflEfltBEREO TO BUV THE CHIPS mo COOKIES THAT WOU DID NOT AND SOU DlDNT 8LN COFFEE A EXTKn IN Ttlfc South A 9 4 3 A 4 A 8 a Vulnerable: East-West Dealer: South South West North East I a Pass 2 A Pass 4 a Pass Pass Pass Opening lead: A 'BIT OBTRL'X QHRUBETJ LTK ZDLQR KHXABYX UBLRTLXHLN XB ZBRT RHNAX B8 A RABJT 8 ETJM ZBLN DLQJT A PREVIOUS SOLUTION: "You've no idea what a poor opinion I have of mysell and how little I deserve it W.S Gilbert (c) 1999byNE, Inc 11.