The Newark Advocate from Newark, Ohio • 10

Saturday, April 3, 1999 ADVICETV The AdvocatelOA Remembering friends' losses helps lighten their load WITH OMAR SHARIF TANNAH HIRSCH 61999 Tribune Media Services, Inc. Bridge nr.AR ARRY: The letter from Dear Abby Sfer "Lost in Love" brought to mind a quote I read somewhere years ago. I don't recall the source. It pertains to both of the quotes you used in your reply. "Distance is to love what wind is to a flame.

If it is a little flame, the wind will blow it out. If it is a big flame, the wind will fan it and make it grow hotter." STANLEY J. POPLAWSKI, CARLSTADT, N.J. DEAR STANLEY: Of course, whether a long-distance romance can survive would depend on the individuals involved. Several readers have informed me that courting by mail actually helped them to know each other better, with less "distraction" than a typical dating relationship.

However, I think much depends upon their ages and their level of warm hug, reminders that you care. Our modern times are often hectic, and it's all too easy to forget another's quiet grief in the hustle of our own lives, but I have found that by marking reminders all through the calendar, I can keep our friends' needs in mind as the months go by. As the saying goes, "A joy shared is multiplied; grief shared is grief divided." SUSIE IN OLYMPIA, WASH. DEAR SUSIE: You have offered some excellent suggestions for supporting friends and family who have lost a loved one. It's an unpleasant part of life that many people do not want to dwell on.

However, it's worth remembering that anyone can be a friend when things are rosy; the time when friendship is needed most is when they're not. DEAR ABBY: "Flower Fans" had a good idea in sending a "thinking of you" card a week after a funeral, and a flower arrangement a month later, but may I suggest that you don't stop there? It's comforting to know that others are going through those difficult "firsts" with you. How about a card in mid-November pledging thoughts and prayers for that first holiday season with an empty place at the festive table? If a parent was lost, a note before Mother's or Father's Day can help them get past the store displays of cards they can no longer send. Especially for the loss of a child, send a card just before the absent one's birthday. The first anniversary of a loved one's death should be commemorated.

Cards should carry a simple, West led the top of the spade sequence. The unfortunate duplication in spades, reducing the four top cards in the suit to only two tricks, turned what should have been a simple contract into a mind-bender. In addition, the lead meant that declarer would not have time to develop tricks in diamonds the defenders would establish their spade suit first. There were seven fast tricks, and prospects for an eighth went aglim-mering when East showed out on the third round of hearts. Now the only place to develop two more was in clubs.

Leading a low club to the dummy's jack would not be good enough by simply holding up the king for one round, if necessary, a defender could, in all probability, limit declarer to only one extra trick. As usual, once the problem is isolated, a solution can be found. The best shot for three tricks from the suit is to find West with the ten of clubs and East holding the king. At trick two South led a low club and finessed the eight! If East took the king, the ace, queen and jack of clubs would see declarer home. But ducking was no better.

Having obtained a hidden entry to dummy, declarer could now run the queen of clubs for a simple finesse to secure the fulfilling trick. IT NEEDS A FINESSE Neither vulnerable. South deals. NORTH QJ 0 763 QJ84 WEST EAST 10985 4.76432 0Q9 OKJ10 1075 K62 SOUTH AK AKQ I OA8542' A93 The bidding: SOUTH WEST NORTH EAST 2 Pass 20 Pass 2NT Pass 3NT Pass Pass Pass i I ppening lead: Ten of A It took declarer a little while, but eventually the winning line was found. Can you do as well looking at all four hands? South's two-club opening bid was artificial and forcing and North's two diamonds was negative.

Two no trump showed 23-24 points and iVorth had ample to raise to game. encouraging tone! Notes need not be elaborate. Just say, "I'm thinking of you at this time," share a happy memory of the departed that is associated with the occasion, or say something such as, "Your daddy would have been, so proud of you today." Although flowers, lunch and service are an important way of showing you care, a card can be read in the middle of the night when sleep won't come, or read again on a lonely morning. Words on a page can be wrapped around you like a CELEBRITY CIPHER by Luis Campos Celebrity Cipher cryptograms are created from quotations by famous people, past and present. Each letter in the cipher stands for another.

Today's clue: equals 'IKBZVBP SKR BXTXM RN -DKUUVYO VBRUVMXP KR SDXB VW IKPX MNJXMW YNEVR RWXTXBRNB PREVIOUS SOLUTION: "A man will sometimes devote all his life to the development of one part of his body the wishbone." Robert Frost (c)1999byNEA, Inc. 3 SATURDAY EVENING APRIL 3, 1999 IfyImkM I 7:00 I 7:30 I 8:00 I I 9:30 I 1 6760710:30 I 11:00 I 11 I 12:00 I a a Newt OB NBC Nightly Access Hollywood World's Most Amazing Videos Pretender "PTB" A OB Profiler-Three Carat Crisis" News Bfl Saturday Night Live fl EJWCMH 4 4 4 News OS (R) A (PA) A ffl Q' Newt 3 ABC WW Simpsons A I Seinfeld A Big Moment M01" (Series Pre- Century: No Man's Land A BB Newt Star Trek; Deep Space Nine WSYX 0 Newt ffl ffl miere)A IB (R) A SB 7n Tn Newsffl CBS Evening Wheel of For- CashExpio- Early Edition "Crumb Again' Martial Law "Painted Faces" I Sons of Thunder Trapped" News S3 Walker, Texas Ranger The GJWBNS 10 10 10 News tune sion A (R) A A IB Neighborhood" A mum T7T X-fllet "Schizogony" A EI ER "No Brain, No Gain" A Cops A (PA) Copt "Atlanta" America's Most Wanted: Newt Mad TV (R) A BE I Howard Stem EfcJWTTE 1J a IS Hfl (R) America Fights Back A tnwncii 11 Austin City Limits Hal Lawrence Welk Show "Easter" Movie: a "Easter Parade" (1948, Musical) A dancer Keeping Up I Keeping Up New Red I New Red Sessions at tfijwusu 10 Ketchum and Terry Allen. grooms a replacement for his former partner. Green A Green A West 54th 7c Environmental! Wild Ohio Lawrence Welk Show "Easter" Austin City Limits iNewRedh I Voices A Best of Austin City Limits Sessions at West 54th A (Off Air) E6JWOUC 13 (R) "FastballMary Cutrufello" A Green A "Women in Song" A rauci To o7 To Andy Griffith With Jim and Or. James Kennedy Y2K: Storm I King It Com- Dr.

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A 2" (1997) yr, 51 MovleTru- I Movie: There's Sometl About Mary" A rnanrwes a sleazy I Countd Paris Concert tor Amnesty International Parts Concert man" private eye to find a former classmate. for Association I' Wf CJ ClIfAVn Th8 Newspapef Enterprise jW. VPkJk? If IX UL Provided by United Me. Media 1 12 3 4 15 16 I 7ST 10 111 112 T3 T5 T7 TS 2D" 2TT22 2Tp 1 23-p-pr- 25 2g3r3r 32 1 33 35 I Llg fljJ 1 142 143 1 41 45 46 147 55 4S15T 5Td5P 51 55 55 57 Grounds for thought: Dampen the coffee filter first Answer to Previous Puzzle GYRATE GYPSUM HAILED LOUISE ON A AMBLER IL lNEOr JAF pre-wash sprays, and it saves money. Anne Kremer, Palm-dale, Calif.

uid laundry detergent is a great spot remover. Just rub a small amount on the stain and let it sit for five minutes. If it's a tough stain, agitate the washer for a little while and let the item or items soak, sometimes overnight. This works for me almost all the time. There's no need for years ago and still have the original plant, plus others started from it.

When my son was married in 1993, his bride also had some of my ivy in her bouquet. Louise Hauf, Crest-wood, Mo. REMOVE STAINS Dear Heloise: I find that liq tieinishsiainuaigiuiei McKuen 48 Clears the blackboard 51 Slovenia's continent 54 Dedicate 55 Coating on teeth 56 Distorted 57 Tomorrow, in Tampico DOWN 1 Longest Spanish 'ft. 333EE HIIST A WPiMlE OR DTL- I RA1 TALE ROB BIN MIOK AYIATE PATENT LETTER T5RES" MATRIX(R) 12:008:46 MA mm coughlIn COLUslbN CENTERjC DOUG' FIRST MOVIE to) 12:15 MOD SQUAD 12:30 2:40 river River of 1 1 10 THINOS I HATE ABOUT YOU(POil) 12:45 2:40 4:45 7:30 9 40 THE OTHER SISTER(POil) 12:00 2:45 7:00 2 3 4 ACROSS Cry of triumph 7 Cords 13 Shored up 14 Irregular in quality 15 Carter's 1- material 16 Staid 17 Bullring cry 18 Zoo animal 20 By birth 21 Amasses 25 Made serious 2ft Excess of a solar over a lunar year 32 German submarine 33 Songs for one 34 Mary Tyler 35 Babylonian hero $6 Actor O'Toole 37 More substantial 39 Royal house 41 Mapabbr. 44 Baseball Hall-of- I FamerMel 45 Poetsinger I CRUEL IHTENTIONS(POii) 5:00 Russia Fixed charge Outside: suffix New Zealand Any Make and Model Insurance Approved Satisfaction Guaranteed ASE Certified By HELOISE Dear Heloise: Don't know-why I've never thought of this solution to "coffee grounds in the coffee pot" which always bugged me when it happened.

Put a small amount of water in the filter holder after the filter is in place, roll it around and it will stick to the side; then add the ground coffee! No more grounds in the coffee, at last! Jeanne Wead, Sun City West, Ariz. LABELS Dear Heloise: When taking food to a church function or to a family who has lost a relative, I put one of my self-sticking address labels on the utensil and lid. That way they know who sent it and where to return it A Reader, Crowley, Texas This does work well. I have a beautiful old bowl that still has my grandmother's sticker on the bottom. It reads, Florence Cruse, Rosebud, Texas, and I smile as I think of her every time I see it.

Heloise WEDDING BOUQUET Dear Heloise: A while ago you ran an article about ivy from a wedding bouquet being planted and having the plants as reminders of the wedding. -I was married more than 40 FORCES OF NATURE(Paii) 12:15 2:40 5:10 7:30 :55 an repair over $5001 5 THE KINO AND I (Q) 12:15 -SlS- 4:15 1 II I COUCHUM CHEVROLET TOYOTA NISSAN I I N. 21t St at Rt 1 in Newark 364-1371 1-MO-M6-9682 I I I COUCHUN FORD Kt 62 In Johnstown 1-740-967-2015 1-IO0-697-O314 I BABY QENIUSESfPOU) 12:30 2:20 4:20 7:20 TjO 19 Advanced deg. 21 Adapted 22 Blood vessel 23 Place in another chair 24 See 14 Across 25 Water drain 26 Orchestral instrument 27 Footwear for Nancy Sinatra 29 Jal- 30 Icecream holder 31 Peter the Great, for one 37 Welcome 38 Respect highly 40 Snooped 41 Cincinnati ball club 42 Wagon journey 43 Roof edge 45 "Arrlvedercl 46 Unrestricted 47 Creme creme 49 Farm female 50 Parisian season 52 Actress Merkel 53 Raced CARaiE lliTHE RAGE (R) Expires 4-30-99 parrot 6 Congenl-tally joined 7 Colored flare 8 Uke: suffix 9 It may have a canopy 10 Author Hunter 11 Nerve network 12 Thrusting knife OUT OF TOWNERS (row 12:45 2:40 4:45 1 1 MONTH ONLY 1 0 OFF REG. tRICI DUCTWORK CLEANING SAVE 10 on any residential air dud cleaning service.

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