The Times Recorder from Zanesville, Ohio • 6

6A Saturday, Aug. 15. 1998 TIMES RECORDER, Zanesville, Ohio Husband's elevator etiquette slows down wife on the move tioned In the letter as "undiplomatic" without hearing her side first, and advising the writer to discuss her feel- Ings with her doctor. However, if I were the doctor, and one of my employees was perceived as heavy-handed, I would want to know so that I could counsel that person. For everything you need to know about wedding planning, order "How to Have a Lovely Wedding.

Send a business-sized, self-addressed envelope, plus check or money order for $3.95 ($4.50 in Canada) to: Dear Abby, Wedding Booklet, P.O. Box 447, Mount Morris, III 61054-0447. (Postage is in- eluded.) DEAR ABBY: I have a rrob-lem. My husband and I recently moved to New York City' where there are lots of elevators. We're having a minor disagreement over elevator etiquette.

My husband lets all the women exit the elevator before going out himself. This means I have to wait outside the elevator for him to join me so we can continue on our way. He insists he is being polite. I say he is being rude to me by making me wait for him. -IMPATIENT IN NEW YORK DEAR IMPATIENT: Your husband is showing good manners by allowing the women to exit the elevator first The obvious solution to your problem is to remain inside the elevator with your husband and exit with him, or just ahead of deem necessary to accomplish that.

I am not being nosy, and I am never rude to patients but I am often told that a problem is "none of my business." I answer hundreds of phone calls a day with problems ranging from colds to heart attacks, acne to suicide attempts. I've had people with chest pains tell me they can wait two weeks to see the doctor, and people with warts tell me they need an emergency appointment. I've had a patient schedule an appointment for a cough who was actually suffering from depression both would need to be seen quickly, but one is for 15 minutes and the other needs an hour appointment. (Yes, we did run an hour behind for the rest of the day's schedule.) Most people who call do not that if I stop to ask a few questions about a patient's condition, it's because I'm concerned about them and am trying to help. This is what the doctor hired me to do.

MEDICAL RECEPTIONIST DEAR RECEPTIONIST: Perhaps this is a problem of perception, but many patients regard their medical problems as something very personal. They perceive questions from a receptionist -however well-intentioned as an attempt to intervene in their relationship with their doctor, and they react defensively. I hope your letter will give these people some food for thought. I have heard from other medical receptionists who also felt I was too harsh in labeling the receptionist men have a medical background, and cannot be objective about their problems. At least 25 percent of the callers do not want to give me any information.

I am legally bound to keep all patient information private, and there's nothing any of them could tell me that I haven't heard before. If you are uncomfortable with certain words, be a little creative: Say "stress" if depression makes you uncomfortable, "diet counseling" if you suffer from obesity. But please don't tell me "allergies" if you mean substance abuse, and "I'm sick" isn't quite enough information. Abby, every call we receive is important, and I don't want to keep callers on the line any longer than I have to, so please inform your readers Best Mend's new beau makes her the odd person out Superhighway's the least of Bill Gates' traveling problems People In the news BRILL'S Blw HI IttDCPIttDlNT -( How Bill Gates's PR machine And why it failing 1 And why it failing him now. huakth inur stevens Pi in him now.

it huakth inur nrnw hp in DR. WALLACE: Tina is my best friend and has been since we met in kindergarten. I really enjoy doing things with her and I know she feels the Same way about me. Everything was wonderful until a month ago, when she met a guy at her softball game. I usually attend them, but I was out of town that day.

Had I been there, I'm pretty sure she wouldn't have been "swept off her feet" by this guy. Tina and I still do a lot together and we are still best friends, but lately she has really been bugging me. We'll make plans to do something on the weekend but then, at the last possible moment, Nick calls her and she cancels our get-together. I realize this is her first boyfriend and she enjoys being with him, but what about me? After she cancels our plans, she goes out with Nick and I'm left out. I turned down going to a party last Saturday to go to an afternoon matinee movie with Tina, but then she dumped me for Nick and I wound up washing my dog.

I love my dog, but I shouldn't have to give her a bath during "prime time" on Saturday afternoon. If I had a new boyfriend I know I would never break a date with Tina just because he called. What should I do about this? It's really a problem for me. Kelly, Cedar Rapids, Iowa I i (v I The Associated Press A 1 977 police mug shot of a bespectacled 21 -year-old Bill Gates is reproduced next to a photograph of the world's richest man and Microsoft chairman on the cover of September 1998 issue of "Brill's Content" magazine as part of an account about Microsoft's public relations machines. Abigail Km) Van Ruren i jDfarAbby him.

DEAR ABBY: This is in response to the reader who was upset with her doctor's receptionist for asking too many questions. I work for a large medical practice as a phone receptionist. It is my job to prioritize incoming calls and determine which are emergencies, how soon patients need to be seen, and how much time the doctor will need with them. I'm dedicated to making sure our patients get the care they need, and it's my duty to ask as many questions as I Dr. Robert Wallace KELLY: Maybe the problem can be solved by having a heart-to-heart talk with Tina.

Tell her how you feel and that she needs to start respecting the plans the two of you make. Ask her to promise to tell Nick, if he calls at the last minute when you and she have plans, that she can't go out with him now. If she won't do that, stop making plans with her, at least for the time being (sooner or later her relationship with Nick will cool off) and resolve to do things with her only on the spur of the moment. DR. WALLACE: What makes one drug addictive and not another? Do people who use addictive drugs all wind up becoming addicted? My boyfriend is starting to use cocaine, but he says he can control his use and won't become addicted.

Is this possible? Nameless, Cleveland NAMELESS: Simply stated, a drug is considered addictive when a user feels uncomfortable or unhappy without it. This discomfort can be either physical or psychological. Cocaine is an addictive drug and smokers, and the concert staff gave parking directions to beige minivans instead of warnings about brown acid. "It's a completely different scene," said Mike Feinstein, who wore a tie-dyed Grateful Dead shirt and fiddled with a cell phone. "We're grown-up hippies now.

We have responsibilities." Promoters of "A Day in the Garden" said close to 12,000 of the 30,000 tickets, available for Friday's show were sold in advance. Slow ticket sales had prompted a two-for-one ticket promotion. Concertgoers who spread their blankets on the hillside Friday had plenty of elbow room as they waited for Don Henley and Stevie Nicks to perform. THE V1CKYE LEWIS DANCE COMPANY! ANNOUNCES REGISTRATION 454-2019 OPEN HOUSE THURSDAY, AUGUST 20 4:30 TO 7:30 950 GROVE RD. CLASSES IN TAP-JAZZ-BALLET-CLOGGING thru Aug.

20 ur mm 'iiTr'rn Festival at Woodstock site lacks off Tmnii Tr VOICE OF THE INFORMATION AOC helped make him Master of the Universe. for artifacts. The entire historic site in-, eludes Carter's current home, the small railroad depot that served as his 1976 campaign headquarters and the brick school where he and former first lady Rosalynn Carter attended classes. Streep gets lead as Tzavaras in 'SO Violins' LOS ANGELES Meryl Streep will soon be adding a new; skill to her repertoire: playing' the violin. The master of accents is taking over the lead in "50 Violins," which Madonna aban-.

doned in July after creative differences with director WesT Craven, Daily Variety reported Thursday. Ms. Streep will play the role of violinist Roberta Tzavaras, an East Harlem violin teacher who trained a number of inner-city hopefuls, some of whom reached Carnegie Hall standards. The film is based on the Oscar-nominated documentary "Small Wonders." The movie was several months into pre-production when Madonna quit. Madonna had spent three months learning the violin.

The Associated Press i i ii i- MulAN "A MASTERPIECE! mil 1 so potent that, according to the National Institute on Drug Abuse, people have become hooked on it in as little as four months. If a person uses cocaine three or four times a year, chances are he will not become addicted. If he uses it three or four times a week, he will. Do you know a smoker who smokes on a regular basis who is not addicted to nicotine? I don't think so. Once a person becomes addicted to a certain drug, if he doesn't get that drug he experiences withdrawal symptoms.

That means the body or mind is distressed without the drug and demands to have it. These powerful symptoms cause the user to become irritable, lose energy and motivation, suffer severe depression and, in some cases, suffer acute physical discomfort. Your boyfriend risks plunging himself into a living nightmare. If he still has the power to stop using cocaine but chooses not to, then leave him and go on with your life and don't look back! Dr. Wallace welcomes questions from readers.

Although he is unable to reply to all of them individually, he will answer as many as possible in this column. Write to Dr. Wallace in care of this newspaper. The festival continues through Sunday. Woodstock veterans Pete Townsend and Richie Havens perform Saturday, along with Joni Mitchell.

Sunday is reserved for younger acts like Third Eye Blind and Goo Goo Dolls. Ten Years After was the only original Woodstock band on Friday's bill. The concert attracted a number people who showed up for the original concert 80 miles north of New York City back in 1969. They found a site transformed from scruffy to respectable just like many of them. "How can it be the same spirit? I'm 29 years older," said Frank Vania, who showed up in Bethel with the same friend he brought in 1969.

Cable TV millionaire Alan Gerry recently bought the famous site and nearly 2,000 acres of surrounding land with plans to develop it into a music-theme attraction. The concert is the first step in his plan. 7 Strawberry DaquirVs BRYAN WN. 6th Street Zanesi NEW YORK The information superhighway is apparently not the only place where Bill Gates has been pulled over on suspicion of speeding. A police mug shot of Gates from a 1977 arrest for bad driving appears on the cover of the September issue of Brill's Content magazine.

The photo shows a nerdy-looking Gates with his boyish smile, tinted glasses and shaggy hair nearly covering his ears. The photo has drawn attention to a driving record that includes two arrests in New Mexico in the 1970s and one in California in 1989. The 42-year-old Microsoft chairman said he was 21 when the photo was taken. Gates was arrested in 1975 for speeding and driving without a license, and in 1977 for running a stop sign and driving without a license, Albuquerque police said. He was arrested again in 1989 in California on suspicion of drunken driving, a charge that was later reduced.

Gates first saw it when representatives of the city of Albuquerque asked if they could release it to Brill's Content, which had requested it, said Dean Katz, a Microsoft spokesman. Gates showed the photo at a speech in May in what Brill's Content said was some pre-emptive damage control by the computer billionaire. McMillan working to change double standard WASHINGTON Author Terry McMillan is fed up with what she calls a double standard for men and women in Hollywood. She complained of the way young, super-fit actresses are often paired on screen with older, more realistically built actors. McMillan "I hated it when Clint Eastwood took his shirt off in 'The Bridges of Madison I said, she said in Friday's USA Today.

"We couldn't get away with it. And we should." Ms. McMillan said she tried to reverse the standard in her book "How Stella Got Her Groove Back." The book was made into a just-released movie starring Angela Bassett Jilt PLACE ille Call $50-W04 ft mm as a 40-year-old, high-powered stockbroker who finds a Jamaican lover half her age during a vacation to the island. Ms. McMillan based the book on a real experience she had with a younger man with whom she is still involved.

Friends worried that she was being used, she said. "I said, 'Do I just look stupid?" she recalled. "And you cannot, like, take my money. You can't talk me out of my money." Pre-WWH tennis court at Carter's boyhood home PLAINS, Ga. Archaeologists working at Jimmy Carter's boyhood home have found a pre-World War II relic a red clay tennis court.

The National Park Service ar-chaelogists found the court, which hasn't been played on for more than 50 years, while they were working to restore the homestead as part of the Jimmy Carter National Historic Site. It was under several inches of grass, soil and gravel. The tennis court stands just a few yards away from the house where Carter lived from age 12 until he left for the Navy at 18. The Park Service intends to transform the property into a working farm where people can learn about the nation's 39th president and children can dig fin BETHEL, N.Y.(AP)-Balding baby boomers, tie-dyed families and body-pierced teen-agers gathered at the site of the original Woodstock concert Friday for a 29th anniversary show. Far from repeating the crowded, chaotic atmosphere of the '69 show at Max Yasgur's farm, the three-day festival kicked off like a mellow, coun-tercultural, all-ages show.

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