Pensacola News Journal from Pensacola, Florida • 41

"I The Pensacola Journal Thursday, April 9, 1981 Columns, 2D Comics, 4D Random notes W.f VM Earning credit where credit's due The Internal Revenue Service says that many Floridians claiming energy tax credits are failing to properly complete IRS Form 5695, Energy Credits. "This failure," according to Charles Dewitt, IRS director for Florida, "is resulting in delays in processing their individual income tax returns." Dewitt says that taxpayers must answer the question "Was your residence substantially completed by April 20, 1977?" to establish eligibility for the energy conservation credit. If the response is "No," this credit cannot be taken. When a person fails to answer the question, the tax return is withdrawn from processing, and correspondence requesting the missing response is sent to the taxpayer. As a result, any anticipated refund check also would be delayed.

Furthermore, says Dewitt, energy-saving items that qualify as tax credits are limited to the following: Insulation designed to reduce heat loss or heat gain in a home or in a water heater. Storm or thermal windows or doors for the exterior of the home. Caulking or weather stripping of exterior doors or windows. Clock thermostats or other automatic energy-saving setback thermostats. Furnace replacement burners, modified flue openings, and ignition systems that replace a gas pilot light.

Meters that display the cost of energy use. Storm windows. (A film or coating applied to the. surface of a window does not qualify.) For further information, taxpayers should contact the IRS and request Publication 903, "Energy Credits for Individuals." Good reading for children Would you plow through page after page of a bad book just so you could congratulate yourself on the fact that you were reading? All too often, this is what we expect children to do. A more sensible approach to getting them to read is to have books around the house that they'll like.

But how can you tell what's a good children's book? The Library of Congress has compiled a directory of more than 1,000 recommended titles, for preschoolers right -up through high school students. "The Best of Children's Books" is available for $3.75 from the Consumer Informa- tion Center, Dept. 1 07J, Pueblo, Colo. 8 1 009. 'Masada' star has problems aplenty Actor Peter Stauss played the Israeli leader of 960 Jew ish resistance fighters who fought off 5,000 Roman soldiers in "Masada," the ABC television saga aired this week.

But according to the current issue of People magazine, his real life is less decisive. Strauss recently called off a wedding date with model Shana Hoffman. "I just realized I had a beautiful home, financial security, and the ability to do meaningful work, and still I was extremely unhappy," he said. "I was getting married in hopes that it would make me happy. Unfortunately, it doesn't work that way.

If you're miserable, you tend to spread your misery around, and it wouldn't have been fair to Shana." The 34-year-old actor spent two weeks in a London hospital, felled by dysentary during the grueling filming of "Masada." He told People: "It was not a party set. The ex-, citement at the end of the day was drinking bottled water and falling asleep." lit VNjrX, 4 1 5 iMItlfl Villi lllflMlll II Hi Mil I 1. Music to your ears StaH art by Paulette Taiclet The Rev. Charles Farmer Duvall will be consecrated as bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of the Central Gulf Coast on Saturday. Phoi-loc niiQll- The new Episcopal bishop OllcUieo L-'UVdii.

laughs, listens, shares Your telephone may soon ring with a few bars of "The Mexican Hat Dance," Beethoven's Fifth, the Beatles' "You. Say Goodbye, and I Say Hello," or even the theme music from "Star Wars" if some Canadian entrepreneurs have their way, according to an article in Tuesday's Wall Street" Journal. The paperback-book size Tele-Tune plugs into an ordi-i nary phone jack, and the telephone plugs into the Tele- Tune. Inside the device, a tiny electronic chip and speaker, store and play any of eight tunes when a caller's signal, arrives. Interconnect Telephone of Canada, Ltd.

expects to begin, test marketing of the Tele-Tune in July with direct-mail advertising. Prices will range from $50 to $80 a machine. -The interchangeable chips, which are expected to be sold like record albums, will sell for about $5 each. One problem: To hear all eight tunes on a chip, you'll have to wait the equivalent of 14 normal telephone rings, or 80 seconds. By then, most callers will have hung up.

Aspirin: the simple solution Thank goodness for aspirin the simple treatment for the pain of headache. The word "pain" comes from the Lat-. in poena, meaning punishment a penalty inflicted by the gods on any mortal who incurred their wrath. Pain was aa enemy that had to be dealt with drastically, so a common cure for headaches was to bore holes in the skull of the sufferer in an effort to purge evil spirits. won a majority vote of both 143 lay and 47 clergy delegates.

The Gulf Coast's gain leaves a gaping hole at the Church of the Advent in Spartanburg, S.C. "When Charles Duvall came here in 1977, we had problems as a congregation," says Tom Smith, the senior warden at that church. "He was able to heal so many personality conflicts, to deal with people one-to-one in such an understanding way. He's very easy-going, very unassuming, very low-key." It's not just Duvall's ministry that is easy-going, unassuming and low-key; his style of living is equally folksy and informal. "I'm very easy to be with, I think," he says.

"I'm a person who enjoys the simple things in life. I don't have to be regally entertained. I laugh a lot. I enjoy sitting with the family and having a 4-year-old sitting on my lap." See DUVALL, Page 8D includes some 15,000 communicants in South Alabama and Northwest Florida. Duvall's consecration, to be conducted by the Rt.

Rev. John Allin, presiding bishop of the Episcopal church in the United States, is scheduled for 10:30 a.m. Saturday at the University of West Florida Field House. More than 3,000 people are expected for the ceremony, which is open to the public and will include an ecumenical representation of churchmen. The process of choosing a bishop is a lengthy one.

In this particular case, a diocese-wide, 15-member Nominating Committee, chaired by Pensacola insurance executive Vince Currie and also including the Rev. Van Davis of St. Christopher's Episcopal Church and UWF professor Dr. Richard Smith, narrowed to three a list of nominees, submitted by both clergy and lay people. Last November, at the Electing Convention in Mobile, where three additional nominees were entered from the floor, Duvall Nancy Duvall, 2D By GINNY GRAYBIEL Living Section Editor For the last 21 years, the Rev.

Charles Farmer Duvall has spent most Sunday mornings talking to himself. "I preach to me," the 45-year-old Episcopal priest admits. "I figure if I've got problems with things or I need to be bucked up about something, I'm not so unusual; someone else in the congregation probably needs that, too. If I'm stepping on your toes, I'm probably stepping on my own, too." But far from stepping on toes, Duvall has struck many a responsive chord in the congregations he has served. It's that sort of congeniality and effectiveness that has led to his appointment as the second bishop of the Episcopal Diocese of the Central Gulf Coast, an 11-year-old diocese that A pseudo-muckraker's search for Linda Lovelace immer Af Etcetera said Linda.

"Because people were curious, they'd invite me in." "Of course," said Ray, "only about two out of a 100 people had seen the film so they'd sit there wondering if she was or wasn't the Linda Lovelace." You would think someone with a name like Linda Lovelace might be a little uptight about it. Not so. "Oh, I know all the Linda Lovelace jokes," she said. "But the name never really bothered me. In fact, I've had some funny things happen to me because of it." When she was a student at the University of South Alabama, she missed the first three meetings of a drama class.

Each time the professor called roll, he'd say, "Linda Lovelace," and the class would laugh, thinking he was trying to be funny. When Linda finally showed up and raised her hand when the professor called her name, the entire class almost fell on the floor. "I got a lot of weird looks," she said, "and we had to take time out in class to straighten things out." Later that year, when Linda tried out for the lead role of a play, the director said, "Well, Linda, we'll have to give you a stage name, or else we'll have the whcjle administration down on us." Linda also drew crowds whenever she traveled and passed through customs. The agent would look at her passport and excuse himself before rounding up his buddies. When I returned to the office, I told my informers I had just interviewed the former Linda Lovelace.

They both looked excited. But to be perfectly honest, I don't think this Is what they had in mind. Finally, I introduced myself to the woman and her husband and asked if we could talk for a moment. "You're not going to believe this," I said, "in fact, I'm a bit embarrassed to even mention this, but we received a tip at the paper that you are the former Linda Lovelace. Isn't that stupid?" Both the woman and her husband laughed.

laughed very hard as a matter of fact at least they had a good sense of humor. So I laughed with them. "Isn't that just the craziest thing you ever heard?" I said. "No," they said in between laughs. "I am Linda Lovelace," said Linda Lovelace.

I stopped laughing. "I don't believe it." "Well, I am the former Linda Lovelace. My name now is Linda Daw, and this is my husband Ray," she said. Talk about adrenalin born-again excitement baptized my muckraker soul. "You're the Linda Lovelace?" "The only one I've ever known." More adrenaline, more excitement.

"The film star Linda Lovelace?" "Well, I've never been in the movies." Curses, foiled again. The baptismal bath ran dry. Same name, but no connection. Poor girl, that must have been terrible. "Not really," said Linda.

"It came in handy." "Listen, I had the best sales rep in the world," said her husband. "I could send her any place to see anybody and was guaranteed she'd get in to see them." "I would walk into an office and say, 'My name is Linda Lovelace and I'm here to see Mr. This is a true story. You're probably not going to believe it; heaven knows, I had a hard enough time believing it myself. In fact, I was inclined not to write about it.

But last week's expense account and the name Linda Lovelace raised some eyebrows in accounting. Where to start? With the tip, I guess that meretricious piece of gossip that occasionally falls into a psuedo-muckraker's lap like a free-floating leaf gliding to its final resting place. Now, some tips you ignore; they're just too ridiculous and far-fetched to warrant even the slightest nod of recognition, as in, "Marlon Brando is living on the second floor of the San Carlos." Others (like the ones your bosses pass along) you pay attention to, as in, "Linda Lovelace is living in Pensacola and working at a mug shop." Linda Lovelace, star of that epic porno flick "Deep Throat," residing in Pensacola? "That's what we heard," they said, adding that the former Linda Lovelace had moved to Pensacola under an assumed name, with a husband and kids to boot, in hopes of assuming a new identity and ridding herself of a not altogether illustrious past, That was about the extent of the tip, except for a few loose ends like her being an active member of a local church and altering her appearance somewhat. I must admit I approached this story with yawning indifference. I believed Linda Lovelace was living in Pensacola about as much as I believed that Anita Bryant and David Bowie were going to appear in concert together at the Saenger.

But I went through the obligatory grind of researching the story, checking some leads and scouring some old magazine files before discovering an article with photographs of the former Linda Lovelace and her husband, a man with black hair and a beard. I snapped a mental picture, even though I thoroughly expected to enter this mug shop and find the presumed Linda Lovelace to be a 6-foot-6-inch albino, revealing the tip for what is was: a hoax. Instead, I found a woman about the same age as Linda Lovelace, with hair similar to Linda Lovelace's, a figure in the same ballpark as Linda Lovelace's and, most important, a husband with black hair and a beard. Now what? I tossed around the idea of picking up a mug and saying something like, "Oh my, what a loooooooovely mug; it reminds me of a movie I once saw." I considered taking a more round-about approach, like writing a note: "Dear Linda, I know who you are and would like to talk." I came close to delivering the old Livingston-Watson line, "Linda Lovelace, I presume.".