The Guardian du lieu suivant : London, Greater London, England • 19

The Guardian Saturday May 5 2001 19 Reviews Whimsical laughs from The Right Size Rambert up close and personal Paradise Shostakovich 1 yet ultimately what moves you most is Donne's poetry. It ranks among the greatest in English, and any attempt at musical setting just seems extraneous. Tim Ashley Opera Theatre BewSlderness Lyric Hammersmith, London frfr WS Gilbert once observed that an accepted wit has but to say "Pass the mustard" and simple folk will roar their ribs out. On the evidence of this show, the comedy duo The Right Size have now reached that stage. Around me people yelped and guffawed; clearly in a minority of one, I cracked the odd smile but kept thinking the show wasn't nearly as funny as the couple's locked-in-a-bathroom epic, Do You Come Here Often? It starts promisingly with two old friends enjoying a rustic reunion after 20 years.

Terry (Sean Foley) is an icecream salesman; Maurice (Hamish McColl) is a smug, solitary lawyer. Wrapped in layers of brown paper, both look like ambulatory parcels. After hearing cries of help from the back of the sofa, they are projected into a vertiginous wonderland where they meet an old man (Freddie Jones), an itinerant magician-musician (Chris Lamer) and a number of floppy dummies. The sustaining joke is that Jones can take only one of them back to the real world, which leads to much conspiratorial bickering. Given that the show is inspired by the Narnia novels, I had hoped for much more specific satire; golden opportunities to have a go at CS Lewis's bluff piety and middle-class chumminess go begging.

What we get, in effect, is a series of extended sight-gags. Much the best, all pre-recorded and screened, shows Foley stalking off stage in a huff, taking a taxi to Heathrow and ending up in front of the Egyptian Pyramids. Some of the other gags, such as McColl apparently decapitating Foley whose head then pops up through a trapdoor, are ingenious but will not come as a shock to any devotee of music hall. The problem here is that the wobbly narrative barely sustains 90 minutes. Foley and McColl are at their best in extended situations, such as a pub scene where they confess their unhappiness, rather than in telling a story.

I also wish they would push their comic personae much further, that Foley would be goofier and McColl more bullying. Classic double-acts, from Laurel and Hardy to Jewel and Warriss, have a streak of sado-masochism that these two shy away from. And, while I'm carping, it's odd how sex barely features on their agenda: how much more interesting it would be if they met a female recluse in the forest rather than the amiably bearded Jones. None of my comments will matter a jot to hardcore Right Size fans, who will obviously have a ball. But what disturbs me about this show is that it celebrates, rather than satirises, whimsical playfulness and appeals to a nostalgic infantilism that these days seems all the comic rage.

Michael Billington Until June 2. Box office: 020-87412311. Dance Rambert Dance Company Linbury Studio Theatre, London fr The history of modern dance has been shaped by small spaces, with some of its most pioneering performances given in salons, church halls or lofts. While the grand symmetrical lines of classical ballet were designed to project across opera houses, modern dance often thrives best on intimate contact, allowing audiences to engage with the inner leverage of emotion and movement that create its drama. Certainly Rambert's decision to step on to the unusually small stage of the Linbury for its new programme has a powerful effect on all four of its works.

Merce Cunningham's Beach Birds is familiar from larger venues yet at the Linbury we are given fresh views of it, and fresh air. One of the unique pleasures of Cunningham's choreography is its seemingly random spread of action around the stage; here, so close to the dancers, we find our gaze snagging idly then intently on individual performers or nuggets of imagery. It's like spending an afternoon at the beach, except that we also feel we're inside the dance studio, closely studying the meticulous logic of Cunningham's moves, each tiny shift of weight filtering new emotion. Christopher Bruce's Hurricane, a setting of Bob Dylan's ballad about the American boxer wrongfully accused of murder, was first created for a one-man show by David Hughes and is tailor-made for the small stage. Hughes is a big, graceful mover with a powerful dramatic talent.

He mimes all of the minor characters in the lyrics with a light-limbed wit and eloquence while magically remaining in character as Hurricane throughout. He is a man dancing at a hair-raising pitch of energy and frustration. Also in the programme are premieres from Rafael Bonachela and Glenn Wilkinson. At Any Time and Twin Suite Two are hugely different pieces one is set to some Bach solo cello, the other to club music but both represent an impressive advance for their choreographers. There is a new confidence and sophistication in their patterning and a new spin on the Paradise Moscow Grand Theatre, Leeds Shostakovich consigned his only operetta, Moscow, Cheryomushki, to his personal B-list.

The composer went so far as to beg his friends not to attend the premiere of a work which, in a dark moment, he described as "boring, feeble and Those are not words that leap to mind after seeing Opera North's new production. Renamed Paradise Moscow, this is a reorches-trated, expanded version of the 1994 Pimlico Opera production arranged for small band by Gerard McBurney. It uses director David Pountney's sharp, incisive translation a vast improvement on the rather stilted original. Add McBurney's keen instinct for theatre scoring, Craig Revel Horwood's inspired choreography and an outstanding cast, and you have one of Opera North's finest creations in years. Paradise Moscow is not an operetta in the strict sense: it has a fast-moving dialogue and song-and-dance routines more reminiscent of vaudeville.

Pountney has exploited this magnificently, especially with regard to his villains. Barabashkin (Campbell Morrison) oscillates between sounding like a deranged sergeant-major and a likable Bob Hoskins, while Vava (Margaret Preece), the boss's conniving girlfriend, has a wonderful cockney screech unnervingly reminiscent of Terry Jones in Life of Brian. Moscow, Cheryomushki was the gentlest of satires on Soviet life, but Paradise Moscow is a fully blown send-up, with the cavorting figures of Lenin, Stalin and Marx making a memorable appearance. KGB men pop up repeatedly and irrelevantly, more ridiculous than sinister. The extent to which Pountney has revised the libretto is especially blatant when Masha and Sasha compare reactions to the sound of a doorbell: Masha's memories innocent in the original are of feet on the stairs, limousines in the streets and a suitcase kept packed by the door.

It felt slightly overdone. But there can be little doubt that Shostakovich would have loved this production he might even have added Paradise Moscow to his A-list. Pauline Fairclough Until May 12. Box office: 0113-222 6222. Then at Sadler's Wells, London EC1 (020-7863 8000), from May 23.

the sofa Sean Foley and Hamish McColl in Bewilderness Photograph: Tristram Kenton It was the mints that gave it away Brookside's Barry Grant has always had women trouble. He tormented Jacqui Dixon, toyed with Lindsey Corkhill's affections and made Sue Sullivan take a tumble off some scaffolding to her death. Such was the emotional torture he inflicted upon poor Julie Peasgood, she has taken to advertising frozen petit pois and laying loft insulation on a cable TV channel. Not to mention her blackest shame of all appearing on Hollyoaks. So it should come as no surprise that when Barry (Paul Usher) turned up in ITVs The Bill as PC Taverner, he had a run-in with Sunhill's lovely ladies, especially as he seems to have had his genes spliced with a Mitchell brother on his way to the station.

"I didn't know life was supposed to be a popularity contest," he purred at Scowlin' Minx DS McAllister. She scowled some more and flounced out of the room. (She does a lot of flouncing, does Minxy McAllister. It often looks as if she is in a shampoo advert and is not best pleased about it.) A gentleman rapist was on the loose and Taverner had a hunch. McAllister and the DC who used to have big hair but now has none at all thought it was a refugee from EastEnders who dunnit; Taverner, however, thought the bloke who robbed the chemist was the multiple rapist.

His evidence? Mints and cologne had been nicked from Kapoor's Pharmacy. Well it stands to reason, doesn't it? It came to pass in this very watchable episode of The Bill that he was right. Conrad, the mixed-race, cokehead fine arts student, was attacking women on the Jasmine Allen estate. Caught in the end, we could be sure he was on his way to Wandsworth prison. The only worrying aspect of all of this was Taverner's assertion that his hunch came from "the little man Either he is taking instructions directly from his penis or he is an automaton a robocop, if you will being controlled by a miniature version of his creator embedded in his chest.

If this is the case, we must wonder who is operating him. My bet is on Sergeant Cryer, who was unceremoniously dumped from Sunhill and has built a robot with which to wreak his revenge on his former colleagues. Then again, perhaps I have been watching too much Buffy the Vampire Slayer. Gareth McLean 6 Film extract (4) 7 Horse's neck hair (4) 10 Manure, for instance (10) 12 Predisposition (8) 13 Having floors (8) 16 Fault (6) 18 Resound (4) 19 Audacious (4) Too easy? Try the Quiptic crossword at http:www.guardian.co.ukcrossword SolutionNo.9673 sTU3pTTNjOmHlllNj Stuck? Then call our solutions line on O9068 338 248. Calls cost 60p per minute all times.

Service supplied by ATS HENCEIF BIT HB others live from the Wigmore Hall featuring artists whose careers were launched by the competition. Christopher Maltmiin won the Lieder prize in 1997, though he hasn't yet achieved international star status. An explosive performer, he's often rawly thrilling, if occasionally unrefined, possessing a powerful, wide-ranging baritone with a touch of grit in the sound. Wearing an intimidating puce shirt, he walked on to the Wigmore platform with a nonchalant air for a programme that found him incarnating two of Schumann's angrier young men. He opened with the brilliant, if unpleasant Husarenlieder.

The texts, by the Austro-Hungarian poet Nikolaus Lenau, contain a welter of unremitting charnel house imagery. The eponymous hussar sings a lullaby to the blood drying on his sword and indulges in drinking songs that express his thirst for gore. Maltman's voice plunges giddily through it, barking with rage, sometimes sinking to a threatening growl. He also essays the Heine Liederkreis, a portrait of a man's descent into misogyny after his girlfriend has scarpered. Maltman's performance is characterised for the most part by withering irony and biting passion, though he tellingly judges the ending, hinting at emotional renewal after the narrator's rage has burnt itself out in nihilistic exhaustion.

In between came the world premiere of a work commissioned for him by the Royal Philharmonic Society, Geoffrey Burgon's Heavenly Things, a setting of Donne's Holy Sonnets. Burgon has carefully judged Maltman's declamatory power, giving him a stammering vocal line that contemplates divinity with erotic mysticism shot through with sexual violence (at one point Maltman calls on God to "ravish At the piano, Malcolm Martineau surrounds him with clangourous scherzos and bell-like tintinnabulations. It is mightily brave and some of it is very impressive, The lawyer, the salesman and difficult art of duet-making. Inventive, bold and far beyond the old boygirl, straightgay scenarios that lurk inside most duets, these feel bracingly like dances for the new millennium. Judith Mackrell Further performance tonight.

Box office: 020-7304 4000. Classical Christopher tygaitman Wigmore Hall, London Radio 3 frfr With the Cardiff Singer of the World looming again, Radio 3 is broadcasting a series of recitals some pre-recorded, Around the world Weather Weather Quick Crossword No.9674 Around Britain Sun Rain Temp'C Weather hrs in (day) Leeds 0 irTnglit Lerwick 9.7 0.02 8 1 Sunny Leuchars 7.5 001 14 4 Sunny London 7.2 O.OL 13 6 Bright Lowestoft 9.3 0.04 12 6 Sunny Manchester 5.4 010 11 1 Hail Margate 6.7 0 10 6 Bright Morecambe 7.1 0 12 8 Sunny Newcastle 8.6 0 11 5 Sunny Newquay 13.2 0 12 7 Sunny Norwich 5.5 10 6 Sunny Oxford 8.5 0 13 2 Sunny Penzance na Poole 12.3 0 14 5 Sunny Prestatyn 11.4 0 12 8 Sunny Ross-on-Wye 10.1 0 15 3 Sunny Saunton 13.4 0 13 6 Sunny Scarborough 11.4 0 10 4 Bright Shrewsbury 8.5 0 13 2 Sunny Skegness na Southend 5.6 0 13 6 Sunny Southport 8.2 0.11 12 3 Sunny Southsoa na Stomoway 8.1 0.O2 10 2 Showers Swanago 10.7 0 13 5 Sunny Telgnmouth 12.7 0 14 7 Sunny Tenby 13.9 0 13 6 Sunny Tiree 8.4 0 11 4 Bnghl Torquay 11.6 0 7 Sunny Weymouth 10.5 0 14 5 Sunny Sun Rain Temp'C Weather hrt In II (day) Aberdeen 8.2 0.02 11 2 BilgH Anglesey 12.8 0 12 7 Sunny Aspatria 9.2 0.01 13 1 Sunny Avlemore 5.2 0.15 11 0 Showers Belfast 6.9 0.0211 3 Showers Birmingham 8.0 0 12 3 Sunny BognorRegis 6.8 0.01 14 7 Bright Bournemouth 10.8 0 15 4 Sunny Bristol 0 15 6 Sunny Buxton 5.3 0.02 10 0 Sunny Cardiff 7.9 0 15 6 Sunny Clacton 6.4 0.09 5 Sunny Cleethorpes 9.6 0 11 3 Sunny ColwynBay 10.6 0 11 7 Sunny Cromer 10.2 0.02 10 6 Sunny Eastbourne 2.5 0 13 7 Bright Edinburgh 6.6 14 4 Bright Eskdalemulr 5.2 0.01 11 2 Showers Exmouth 13.2 0 14 5 Sunny Falmouth na Fishguard 11.0 0.01 10 7 Sunny Folkestone 4.0 0.04 12 7 Bright Glasgow U.4 14 2 Sunny Guernsey 8.3 0 13 8 Sunny Hastings 4.7 0.02 13 6 Sunny Haylingl. 8.2 0.0213 6 Sunny Heme Bay 6.2 0 11 7 Blight Hunstanton 10.2 0.15 10 6 Sunny Isle of Man 9.4 0 13 7 Sunny Isle of Wight 8.0 0.01 13 6 Sunny Jersey 7.0 0.01 13 8 Sunny Klnloss 7.7 0.04 11 3 Sunny 'C 'F Weather Nairobi 28 82 Fair Naples 24 75 Sunny NewtMhl 36 97 Sunny New Organs 27 81 Cloudy New York 30 86 Fair Nice 15 59 Cloudy Oporto 16 61 Cloudy Oslo 6 43 Cloudy Paris 10 50 Cloudy Perth 24 75 Sunny Prague 18 64 Cloudy" Reykjavik 8 46 Cloudy Rhodes 23 73 Sunny Rio de Jan. 28 82 Fair Rome 22 72 Fair Santiago 21 70 Sunny Sarajevo 23 73 Fair Singapore 27 81 Thunder StPetersb'g 22 72 Sunny Stockholm 11 52 Showers Strasbourg 16 61 Cloudy Sydney 20 68 Sunny TelAvIV 25 77 Sunny Tokyo 18 64 Sumy Toronto 29 84 Cloudy Tunis 22 72 Fair Vancouver 12 54 Cloudy Venice 22 72 Fair Vienna 24 75 Fair Warsaw 23 73 Fair Washington 29 84 Sunny Wellington 16 61 Showers Zurich 19 66 Cloudy W0S front I Warm front I -A-- Occluded front Trough Adelaide 20 68 Cloudy Faro 16 61 Cloudy AJaccio 14 57 Showers Florence 19 66 Mist Algiers 20 68 Cloudy Frankfurt 19 66 Cloudy Alicante 18 61 Cloudy Funchal 18 64 Cloudy Amsterdam 10 50 Cloudy Geneva 16 61 Cloudy Athens 23 73 Sunny Gibraltar 18 64 Fair Auckland 19 66 Cloudy Hanoi 26 79 Cloudy Aires 13 55 Cloudy Harare 23 73 Sunny Bahrain 39 102Sunny Havana 29 84 Bangkok 27 81 Rain Helsinki 19 66 Cloudy Barcelona 14 57 Fair Hong Kong 27 81 fair Beijing 18 64 Sunny Innsbruck 21 70 Cloudy Belgrade 27 81 Sunny Istanbul 18 64 Sunny Bergen 9 48 Fair Jerusalem 26 79 Sunny Berlin 19 66 Fair Jo'burg 13 55 Cloudy Bermuda 23 73 Sunny K.Lumpur 35 95 Cloudy Biarritz 14 57 Cloudy Karachi 38 lOOSunny Bodrum 25 77 Sunny Katmandu 23 73 Cloudy Bombay 33 91 Fair Kingston 30 86 Fair Bordeaux 15 59 Cloudy Larnaca 22 72 Cloudy Boston 32 90 Fair Lima 23 73 Sunny Brussels 8 46 Rain Usbon 17 63 Cloudy Budapest 27 81 Fair London 12 54 Fair Cairo 29 84 Sunny Lot Angeles 26 79 Sunny Calcutta 31 88 Fair Luxembourg 16 61 Cloudy Cape Town 13 55 Rain Madrid 11 52 Cloudy Caracas 32 90 Sunny Majorca 18 64 Cloudy Casablanca 18 64 Fair Malaga 22 72 Fair Chicago 28 82 Cloudy Malta 21 70 Cloudy Chrlstchurchl3 55 Cloudy Melbourne 16 61 Sunny Copenhagen 11 52 Fair Mexico City 26 79 Cloudy Corfu 23 73 Sunny Miami 28 82 Cloudy Dakar 23 73 Sunny Milan 15 59 Thunder Dallas 25 77 Cloudy Mombasa 25 77 Showers Denver 1 34 Snow Montreal 28 82 Fair Dhaka 26 79 Cloudy Moscow 17 63 Sunny Dublin 12 54 Cloudy Munich 19 66 Cloudy Noon today. High A will push north-eastwards and merge with High C.

Low A is slow-moving. Sun and moon Today 'Satellite predictions Sunrises 0525 ar qj Sunrises 0523 Sunsets 2030 1 Sunsets 2032 Moon sets 0502" Moon sets 0522 Moon rises VK i Moon rises 1910 Full Moon May7lh Lv A Full Moon toy 7th High tides Today Tomorrow Reports for noon yesterday (previous day in the Americas) Today London London Cos2360r 22.13 22.21 55ESE SNE Resuis 23,09 87E SSE'NIW Aureole 2r 22,38 22,43 74ESE S7NNE ERBS 23,20 23.24 89NE WNWSE' UARS 23,59 00,05 78MW WSWENE UARS 00.00 00.06 64NNW WSWNE Manchester Manchester Cos2360r 22.14 22.22 44ESE SNE Resurs 23.09 81ENE SSEVTW Aureole 2r 22.38 22.43 53ESE SNE ERBS 23.19 23.24 79SSW WNWSE UARS 23.59 00.05 74SSE SWENE UARS 23.59 00.06 89S WSWENE Mel Office report for 24 hours to 5pm yesterday Tomorrow number A Slight LD ffiV Moderate 5 (8) (12) Slight If' Moderate Situation at noon today but many places will have sunny intervals. A light north-west wind. Max temp 1M4C(52-57F). Tonight, clearer.

Min temp 1-4C (34-39F). SE NE Scotland, Isles: Banks of cloud and sunny intervals, the best of the sunshine will be on the coast. Light winds. Max temp 10-13C (50-55F). Tonight, clearing skies.

Min temp 0-3C (32-37F). Outlook: Fine and settled with some warm sunshine. Cooler near eastern coasts. Mostly dry and bright with some sunshine, but local drizzle in the far north-west. London, SE NE England, Midlands, Anglia, Lines, Yorks: Mostly dry with a mixture of cloud and sunny spells.

A moderate northerly breeze will make it feel cool and could bring an isolated light shower. Max temp 11- 14C (52-57F). Tonight, fine. Mintemp 2-4C (36-39F). Channel Is, Cent SW England, Wales: Dry and bright with patchy cloud and sunny periods.

The best of the sunshine will be along the coast. A moderate northeast breeze. Max temp 12-15C (54-59F). Tonight, fair. Min tcmp2-5C (36-41F).

Midlands, Wales, NW England: Fine and bright with some sunshine. A light to moderate north or north-cast breeze. Max temp 12-15C (54-59F). Tonight, dry. Min templ-4C(34-39F).

Ireland: Sunny spells but cloudy at times with the odd spot of drizzle in some western areas at first. A light north-west wind. Max temp 12- 15C (54-59F). Tonight, fine. Min temp 4C(39F).

SW NW Scotland, Isles: Cloud and patches of drizzle 'Enters or leaves eclipse. UARS, Upper Atmosphere Research Satefcte, was placed in orM by Space Shuttle in September 1991. Aide 2r is iocMCbI tutted a RussianTrench sateUe en Bomg Day. 1973. Tri es are BST.

Data by Alan Pickup London B'go 1316 7.2m London B'ge 0137 6.9m 1407 7.3m Dover 1024 6.3m 2241 6.5m Dover 1107 6.5m 2324 Liverpool 1029 9.2m 2258 9.3m Uverpool 1117 2342 Greenock 1139 3.3m 0029 3.2m Greenock 1230 3.4m Hull 0537 8.3m 1741 8.4m Hull 0621 8.5m 1824 8.7m Avonmouth 0619 12.6m 1851 12.8m Avonmouth 0711 13.1m 1936 13.2m Ponzance 0346 5.3m 1614 5.2m Penzance 0433 5.5m 1657 5.4m Lelth 0137 5.2m 1353 5.4m Lelth 0223 5.4fn 1439 5.6m Weymouth 0544 2.0m 1824 2.1m Weymouth 0638 2.2m 1918 2.2m Aberdeen 1237 4.1m Aberdeen 0115 4.1m 1322 4.2m Belfast 1013 3.5m 2249 3.3m Bejfast 1101 3.6m 2333 3.4m Harwich 1100 3.9m 2316 3.8m Harwich 1149 4.0m 0004 3.9m Across 1 Smack (4) 3 Pepper (8) 8 Fury (4) 9 Stinging arachnid constellation (8) 11 Dismantled (6,4) 14 Arouse (6) 15 Turn upside-down (6) 17 Great outcry horrible din (4,6) 20 Covered walk round quadrangle (8) 21 Sole (4) 22 Impervious to persuasion (8) 23 Stained with a new colour (4) Down 1 Teasing dancer (8) 2 Candied stems of a plant (8) 4 Give one's consent (6) 5 Twisting out of shape bungling (8,2) Air quality Yesterday lthercalipgot Oi NO, 0, NOi London Gd Gd London Gd Gd SEng Gd Gd SEng Gd Gd Wales Gd Gd Wales Gd Gd England Gd Gd England Gd Gd England Gd Gd England Gd Gd Scotland Gd Gd Scotland Gd Gd Ireland Gd Gd Ireland Gd Gd G' Today Tomorrow aBelfait 2105 to 0535 Belfast 2107 lo 0533 Birmingham 2041 lo 0527 Birmingham 2042 lo 0525 Bristol 2040 lo 0533 Bristol 2042 lo OS32 Glasgow 2104 to 0523 Glasgow 2106 to 0521 London 2030 to 0523 London 2032 lo 0522 Manchester 2046 lo 0524 Manchester 2048 to 0523 Newcastle 2049 to 0516 Newcastle 2051 lo 0514 Notdnaham 2040 to 0522 Nottingham 2042 to 0520 National 00 lines EHumberside 13 Caithness. Orkneys 26 Greater London 01 14 Northern Ireland 27 Kent, Surrey Sussex 02 15 World Wealhetcall 28 Dorset, Hants, k)W 03 North West England 16 10 DAY NATIONAL FAX Devon, Cornwall 04 Yorks, Dales 17 FORECAST Wills, Gloucs, Avon, Som 05 North Easl England 18 09065200535 Berks, Bucks. Oxon 06 Cumbria Lake District 19 0901callscost60pm, Beds, Herts, Essex 07 South West Scotland 20 09065callscost1.50m Norfolk, Suffolk, Cambs 08 West Central Scolland 21" (Mar 1999I.Wealhercallisa Glamorgan, Gwent 09 Edin, File, Lothian, Borders 22 product of TIS Ltd. Shrops, Hereford, Worcs 10 East Central Scolland 23 Central Midlands ij Grampians Highlands 24 iffGUarolan East Midlands" 12 North West Scotland 25 INTERACTIVE.