The Observer from London, Greater London, England • 16

Elevated view from a lift Not in tne script TOMORROW, in Los Angeles, they are handing out Oscars to the brightest and the best in the film industry. PETER HILLMORE passed down the lift shaft, to be grasped by a hand pressed between te doors. But it is not long before the Minister gets angry, and demands that the Secretary of State be told about this occurrence and wonders what would have happened if the lift had stuck during a time of crisis. But the Secretary of State is not very shocked nor does he spring to the Minister's defence (a very big signpost). Instead, he seems highly amused and contemplates summoning all the other junior Ministers to share in the ridicule, and to join him in laughing at their rather pompous colleague.

Kahn, the mysterious woman whose book on picketing is such an inspiration to the dreaded Arthur Scargill. To show how supportive I am, here is some shocking information for the Kahn Do file at the Mail her researchers were financed by Mrs Thatcher and the team that produced the picketing book was chosen on account of its moderate point of view. The Department of Employment wanted a study carried out on the effects of 1980 Employment Act. A research grant was originally awarded to two Oxford dons, but when it was discovered that one of them had written a Fabian pamphlet, another grant for the work was hurriedly given to Sheffield University. The authors there were chosen by Professor Sir John Wood, a member of the Tory Party and the safe team of moderates included Peggy Kahn.

For some unexplained reason, the Daily Mail has not included this in its dossier of terror. IT SEEMED a good idea to stop writing about Andrew Neil for a while but after bis rude behaviour last week in Berlin, he deserves another mention. A conference was held there for 700 British advertisers, agencies, newspaper publishers and editors to show how wonderful newspapers are to advertise in (yes, I know they could have met for three days in London much more cheaply, but that's not the way these things are done). The opening speaker was meant to be the Sunday Times' editor, Andrew Neil: of a literary inviting prominent people to speculate on the royal identity of the author of lines like 'Then off to honeymoon via WaterlooCrackers was waiting in the landau (Crackers was a dog this is doggerel.) A. N.

Wilson even suggested to me the poet was the Duchess of Gloucester. Last week, the publishers confirmed that A. N. Wilson was the author of One of the oldest literary agents in London (est. 1924) confirmed that A.

N. Wilson wrote the immortal lines, For deep inside her soul, she feels a peaceAnd sighs with longing for the Prince nf firtw I HAVE been given this story with strict instructions that I do not give the names of the Ministers or the Ministry involved. My source feels that it might bring the whole lot into disrepute and may even damage the long-term security of the country. So all I can do is stick up a few signposts and hope you can all work it out for yourselves. The scene is one of our biggest Ministries, somewhere in Whitehall.

It is a place that prides itself on efficiency. The Secretary of State there is known to his fans and his intimates as Big (signpost). The other day one of his runior Ministers was on his way up to the ministerial floor when the lift got stuck. It stopped between floors; after a while shouts of irritation and rage were heard. The junior Minister (he is described to me as a nonentity, which isn't much of a chie as it could be any one of a number of junior Ministers) refused to play games of charades with his colleagues in the lift, or even to join in the community singing.

Instead, he shouted for a private secretary to bring him his papers so that he could carry on with his vital work. There is then the glorious sight of secret documents being willingly 'hang upside down from a hot air balloon, if it would gain publicity. He ought to try it then we could all see what he was made of. SARAH TISDALL has found one way of relieving the boredom in prison that the complains about -writing job applications. She has applied for a job at the National Council for Civil Liberties.

The NCCL says that Miss Tisdall would not automatically get a job because of what happened to her there would have to be a Miss TisdalPs plight has naturally concerned journal' ists throughout Fleet Street. Just how much can be judged from an article in the 'Journalist by NUJ general secretary, Ken Ashton. Thoroughout the article, he refers to her as Caroline Tisdall. JANE BOWN William Goldman You get conscripted when you write a film script. Worse verse pithy and pith-poor column by But there is a temptation to get up and say you won an Oscar in spite of the attempts of everyone in the film to thwart you.

That would be more confided William Goldman last week. And he should know, having picked up two gold door-stops for writing 'Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid and 'Marathon 'The only time I've had freedom is when I write the first draft of the script from then on the director wants changes, the actors want changes, the producers want changes, all for different Mr Goldman was in London for the publication of his book, 'Adventures in the Screen It doesn't tell a particularly pleasant story Dustin Hoffman arrogantly persecuting Laurence Olivier in rehearsal, Robert Redford demanding a girl friend in All the President's Men' not because it was dramatically necessary, but because he thought his fans would want it. 'In Hollywood, a screenwriter's job is to write perfect parts for perfect people. Stars Hve in a world where no one ever says they're wrong, but they are still very insecure and are as obsessed with maintaining their position as in being in a good film. For all we know, Shakespeare had the same problems Burbage demanding an extra soliliquy in the middle of the director asking for a love interest which meant introducing Lady Macbeth into the play.

Perhaps that's why he never won an Oscar. You can't make a Hamlet without breaking a few egos. tne rrotessor of Modern History at Bristol University; E. It has an editor who failed I REALLY owe A. N.

William McGonaeall thou English level. Wilson an apology, and I'm terribly sorry. Last week I wrote that he was embar ONE of the keenest applicants rassed at beine the for the safe Labour seat of He was even introduced from the platform; but he wasn't anywhere to be found. He then arrived, accompanied by a redhead, claiming that 'The Observer bad hi-jacked his bus to East Berlin. (No, Andrew, it's Mr Murdoch who has your back against the Wall.) He told the delegates he had lost bis notes on an aeroplane in Cologne.

His speech was later publicly censured by Charles Wintour, in an overview of the conference, as the worst speech of the day. anonymous author of Lili- 1 a Carmarthen is medical journalist Gareth Griffiths. When he goes before the selection shouldst be living at this hour But, in the Spectator last week, A. N. Wilson still denies that he is the poet and wonders where I got the idea from (presumably he will return any cheque from The Times, which is going to print some extracts).

Far be it from me to suggest that he is lying, so I'D just assume he is merely stirrine ud oublicitv. After nil oet, a poem about the Queen's earlv life. I now committee, I do hope he mentions his article in the first issue of a new magazine, The World of Private Sun shine THE MANAGEMENT of the Sun hit on a bright wheeze to try to improve the paper's image. It asked its star writers for 200 wordy essays, beginning with the sentence, 'I enjoy working for the Sun because. These would then appeat- in a trade advertisement campaign.

The writers have all taken fright at this arduous task This is a great pity. To remedy things, I'm announcing a competition just for the editor, Kelvin McKenzie. All he has to do is put the following features of his paper in order of importance A. It has pictures of topless girls; B. It makes stories up; C.

It insults Falklands widows; D. It has a realise that he is not just embarrassed, he is terribly ashamed of writing it. The publishers, Blond White, had been planning a publicity campaign on the lines Kahn do IT IS quite right of the Daily Mail to hound Peggy His article is all about the Mr Wilson once told his publishers that he would profits to be made out of private practice, and it's full of useful advice on how to maximise your earnings if you work outside the National Health Service fThe capita overheads are low a few emeruencv drues. elementarv medical equipment '). Should go down a treat in Wales.

Not waving, but frowning MOST literary rows are conducted in TWsEwfars to utor, and my notebook is now filled with four pages of his comments. He too has given me quotes from two publishers, Faber and Virago These suggest that the biography is not good. While the authors quote biographer P. N. Furbank as saying he was 'so impressed it reads Mr MacGibbon gives me a quote from Faber's Craig who described the opening chapteH pf Stevie as naive and unselective terribly The two professors claim that biographer Helen Fowler 'telephoned her Mr MacGibbon tells me that publisher Carmen Callil told him she would rather have boiling oil poured on her head than publish the book.

Well, you can't please everyone, that's what I always say. As things stand at the moment, the two frustrated authors say they intend to pursue in several ways our Mr MacGibbon tells me that he has asked Frances Spalding, the biographer of Vanessa Bell, to work on a new biography of Stevie Smith. private, with both parties anxious to avoid publicity. Not every author is as anxious as A. N.

Wilson to be written about. So when two academics send out a four-page letter detailing their problems over getting a book published, it deserves a close look. If people want to wash dirty linen in public, we can but tfge. American professors, William McBrien and Jack Barbera, have written the letter, describing our situation over a biography they are writing of poet Stevie Smith. They claim that Miss Smith's literary executor has withdrawn permission for them to quote from her works.

They claim that two publishers, Oxford University Press and Jonathan Cape, were eager to publish it. They then quote favourable reviews from people who have read the early chapters of die biography, which has been eight years in the writing. I read the long letter, and then spoke to James MacGibbon, the literary exec New York Los Angeles 449 Super Apex Return Boston 319 Super Apex Return 329 Super Apex Return yeoS your dgree Iss lfriporttttrryrir-ability iu write griod tiisp English; V-Z andft appjy your intellect jri thejob. In return we offer professional trailing, and a 7 starting salary of around annum depending on your academic qualifications! f- SnWqwnt salary anti hpngfiK ak tinted stritHy tn A individaal merit and performance. Jf you a6 planning to ft turn home to work thryearn write to: I ffillRffflSffi tK SSnSSr Manader co106TeieChiiiiliers fSiiiS? TemAvanuoT And the rest ofTWA's 50 cities Phoenix 412 Return Philadelphia 349SuperApai Return Nobody has lower fares to over 50 cities.

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