Hartford Courant from Hartford, Connecticut • 145

V. "50 AND FREE." "50 AND FABULOUS." "50 AND FRUITCAKE." Tina Thaxton, left, and Mickie Lenz, Queen Mother of Lex Chapeaux Rouge, both of Newington, talk in the Rose Garden at Elizabeth Park during the Red Hat Society's brunch. At right is Betty DiBattista, also of Newington. Dads Share Credit FROM PAGE HI hospital with her preemie twin daughters. Tipper Gore helped start the Parent Music Resource Center after listening to Prince's "Purple Rain" CD, which she had bought for her daughter.

We don't hear about the fathers, in part because it's assumed that fathers don't have that much to juggle. Remember the flap over British prime minister Tony Blair, when his wife, Cherie, had their fourth child in May 2000? Originally, the father of then-three said he would not take a parental leave, although the country offers 13 weeks of parental leave to new parents, mothers and fathers. Resourceful Cherie, an attorney and part-time judge, finally went to the High Court to publicly suggest Tony change his mind. Don't you just love a woman who knows her place? It was a flash in the pan but an interesting flash nevertheless. So who else is balancing or has balanced world headlines and child-rearing? Palestinian Chairman Yasser Arafat, father of a daughter, Zahwa, now 7, named for Arafat's mother.

Israel's prime minister Ariel Sharon, who has three sons, one of whom died at age 9 while playing with a gun and two of whom are grown, and two grandchildren. Kofi Annan, secretary general of the United Nations, three children shared with his second wife, all of whom come from the couple's previous marriages. U.S. President George W. Bush, twin daughters, both in college.

Connecticut's U.S. Sea Joseph Lieberman, four children, plus two granddaughters, Willie and Tennessee, and U.S. Sea Christopher Dodd, with infant daughter Grace. Russian President Vladimir V. Putin, two teen-aged daughters, MashaandKatya.

Pakistani President Pervez Musharraf, a daughter and a son, both of them married, the son living in Massachusetts. U.S. Secretary of State Colin Powell, two daughters and a son, the latter of whom is chairman of the Federal Communications Commission, and two grandchildren. U.S. Attorney General John Ashcroft, one daughter, three sons and a grandson named Jimmy.

Microsoft chairman Bill Gates, a small daughter and son. Osama bin Laden, at least 10 children, with perhaps three, maybe four wives. Thafs just a partial list culled from the day's headlines. And it's good to know, because the dirty little secret is that, until we women insist on parity in responsibility and reward amongparents, we really haven't come so far after all. TUALS Red Hat Society he straw hat comes from K-Mart, dyed red, with a red boa wrapped around the brim.

The purple PHOTOGRAPH STORY BY SHANASURECK "Fifty is liberating for women. Life opens up. The kids are grown." A breast cancer survivor, Loretta's brush with mortality at 47 changed her perspective. "It's a chance to be carefree, crazy," she says of the Red Hat Society "I don't have to act my age. I can just go out and have some fun." "Ditto," says Queen Mum Mickie.

"You grow older, but you don't dress was plucked from a thrift-shop rack. Celebrating in the garb is a 53-year-old barber from South Mer-iden, Lady Loretta ParisL In a sea of 86 red hats and purple dresses at the Pond House Cafe, she dines on stuffed French toast and Rituals is a regular feature exploring, through words and pictures, the personal cultural and religious rites that help us celebrate and give meaning to our lives. have to grow up," asserts Queenie Judi (Tanguay) of West Hartford. There are teas and jazz cruises, trips to museums and herb gardens. For the Buddies in Burgundy Beanies five women from Waterbury who have been best friends since kindergarten there is an annual weekend in New York City without husbands and children.

They are serious when they need to be, but today and every day they're together is about fun. People stare as the women stroll through the Rose Garden at Elizabeth Park. A man walks up and asks Queen Beverly (Miller) of the Red Hat Royals of Bloomfield, "What are you about?" "We're a bunch of old ladies having a good time," she tells him. "We're 50 and free," says Val Arsenault of Windsor. "50 and fabulous," adds Loretta.

"50 and fruitcake," says Queenie Judi. I gravlax at what's hoped to be the first annual brunch of the Red Hat Society of Greater Hartford. "Girls just wanna he fun," she says as she genuflects toward Mickie Lenz, the thieen of Les Chapeaux Rouge of Newington. "Life's too short to drink the house wine." It is the. first time the numerous chapters have gotten together.

(They sport such colorful names as: Wit and Spits, Better Red Than Dead, and the Beguiling Red Hat Biddies.) The group is for women who've reached 50 and want to laugh and enjoy life, to celebrate with humor and silliness their age and experiences. Their rallying cry is the poem "Warning'' by British writer Jenny Joseph: When I am an old woman I shall wear purple With a red hat which doesn 'tgo and doesn 't suit For comments and suggestions, e-mail Shana Sureck at sureckcourant.com. Susan Campbell is at campbellcourant.com or at 860-241-6454. Immigrants Can Languish In Jail For Months PRIVACY Beldnogov, a 22-year-old Russian who came to the United States as a refugee with his mother when he was 14. The other was David Graham, who is a native of Jamaica.

Both were nabbed by the INS after committing minor criminal offenses. Although those offenses did not result in any prison time, it violated INS rules when certain crimes are committed by non-citizens. Paula Grenier, a spokeswoman for the INS, says an immigration judge ordered that Beldnogov be deported to Russia. However, he faces a Catch-22: Beldnogov has contacted the Russian Consulate in New York for assistance but says they have ignored his request for help. (My request to the consulate for a description of the problem has gone unanswered.) Meanwhile, he is now spending his eighth month in jail hoping for a miracle.

(He doesn't want to return and says he no longer has any relatives there.) The alternative, however, may be to remain in this country, but in prison. Graham, the Jamaican, told me that the INS "tries to wear you down into GOTOH5 Journal that his experience with the immigration courts shows "a combination of government confusion, lack of experience with foreign cultures, and secret, unchallenged, evidence that can lead to a serious miscarriage of justice." Qa Are you saying there's a Catch-22 with some ofthese INS detainees? Am Some are without a country. Non-citizens who came from the former Soviet Union have special problems. When many immigrated to the United States, they had been citizens of the old Soviet Union, not citizens of Russia, or what are now independent nations. Finding original documents such as birth certificates and passports from a nation that did not exist can be impossible.

The result Many of those now locked up by the INS in this country have been languishing in jail for months. 0a Do any of the INS detainees in Connecticut face these special problems? A. Yes. As a result of an earlier column I wrote about the detention of immigrants, two men locked up at the Hartford jail asked to meet with me. One was Dmitriy A a We should be able to, but the INS says no, for security reasons.

It claims the names "could reveal intelligence and investigative methods, sources and witnesses I believe that under the state's Freedom of Information Act, those names should be made public. (The names of other prisoners are available.) There is a test case in the courts of New Jersey where a state judge upheld the public's right to see the names. However, that decision has been appealed by the INS. 0a How long does the INS lock up the detainees? A. Generally, it seems to be a few months, but it can be much longer.

A man from Cambodia, according to Moore, has been locked up for 17 months in a Connecticut jail. Qa Canlattendasessionofthe Immigration Court? A. No. The Justice Department has insisted that when it comes to INS detainees, the sessions will be secret Not even family members are allowed And since most of the detainees don't have lawyers, the outside world knows very little about what goes on. R.

James Woolsey, a former CIA director, wrote in The Wall Street By BILL OLDS Bill Olds is a privacy researcher. His column on privacy appears every other week in Sunday Life. 0, I'm an immigrant to America, and I heard that I could get thrown out of the country for almost any reason. Is that right? A Close to it, ifyou're not a citizen. The rules of the U.S.

Immigration find Naturalization Service (INS) say fhat ifyou're a non-citizen and you commit certain crimes even small offenses or you violate INS rules, you could be sent back to your former country, ouTl probably not be allowed to return Q. What kind ofcrimes could the government use to boot meoutof the country? A One is called a crime involving "moral turpitude." The government doesn't really say what that means. An immigration lawyer from Springfield, Michael Moore, told me, "It can mean anything from spitting on the sidewalk to pulling the hair of a neighbor, which happened in New Jersey." Michael Boyle, an immigration lawyer from North Haven, says, "It's now commonplace for non-citizens who received sentences that involved no state prison time at all to be picked up and detained with no hope of parole through months on end and probably years of immigration proceedings." 0a Are there many non-citizens locked 'up in Connecticutjails? Am Yes. About 203 non-citizens are locked up in Connecticutjails, according to Brian Garnett, a spokesman for the state Department of Correction. The INS says they have violated immigration rules and may be sent to their original countries.

(The INS has a contract with the state to provide jail space and other services.) 0a Which countries do most of them come from? A. The INS refuses to say. However, Tve learned that a large number at the Hartford jail are Jamaicans. The others are in different prisons around the state. 0a Can we get the names of these INS detainees?.