Idaho Free Press from Nampa, Idaho on February 8, 1975 · Page 19
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Idaho Free Press from Nampa, Idaho · Page 19

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Nampa, Idaho
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Saturday, February 8, 1975
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Page 19
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Dr. Lamb Fantasies worry wife THE FAMIIY CIRCUS By Lawrence i'.. Lamb, M.D, DEAR DR. LAMB - We arc a couple m our 50s and this is our problem with the sex aci , 1 just cannot respond i« rm ; husband the way I would like lo . His approach always turns me ' o f ' - H e keeps referring to other : wom TM during ihe s« act. how much they turn him on I [ OS1 . interest immediately [ j U5I , wn't help myself. I feel like a . substitute wife competing with i other women Do you think he has been intimate with these women'. 1 They are all vendor friends of mine and all seem to be very happily married. . Me docs hot seem (o be abk to ' reach a climax unless he refers tothern. I feel as if l a m just being used. Thai he doesn't reallv need me lo perform It makes it very difficult to establish a good" relationship and sex has become very boring to me. Hope you can give me some help with this problem. DEAR READER - Vouhave every reason lo be annoyed and bored with sex under those circumstances The problem is not so m u c h your husband fantasizing about other women but his failure lo do the things that please and stimulate you. Men and women biith engage in sexual fantasies That is normal. Such fantasies cover the e n t i r e g a m u t o f s e x u a l behavior This definitely includes thinking of having sex with other women and olher men. It includes sexual acts thai are commonly loibiddcr, in our culture. And. such fantasies ; commonly occur even while f having sex with one's mate Good r e l a t i o n s b e t w e e n i ; m a l e s , t h o u g h , m e a n s a I ; mutually satisfying experience. ! . Obviously ignoring you w h i l e ' ! verbalizing fantasies ignores i ; your needs during such an ex' ·periencc. To achieve good. ! '. mutually satisfying relations, il ' is important that a couple have good verbal communications You need to talk to your bus- band about this and point out to him that it is affecting your appreciation and enjoyment of him. Tell him plainly that he is not very appealing to you sexually under these circumstances. it's normal for a woman to i want lo be loved during in[ timate relations. That means i the man sliould give his alten- Etiqn lo her or nol bother at all j The same a p p l i e s to the I woman's response to her mate SI wonder how yuur husband ,-ould like il if you started lalk- ipng about all the men you know ;'and how sexy they aie d u r i n g j ; your relationships 0 | You should not bo upsel about j the fantasies, only iliat vou have lo be exposed to them and are not getting the attention you need. Looking at history and different cultures, it is clear that humans are capable of almost any form of sexual behavior, rather than a carefully s t r u c t u r e d r e l a t i o n s h i p between marital partners. The fantasies help to relieve tensions and f r u s t r a t i o n s that n a t u r a l l y develop when society d e m a n d s t h a i a m a n or a woman restrict his or her sex [Ic lo the marriage and even then within certain limits. This is not an argument for permissiveness li is a rccogni- I'on of reality. [ often think of sex as parallel to man's sense of hunger. We do have a n a t u r a l inclination to grab food and eat 11 when w e are hungry. To live with other people as acceptable members of society we have to learn 10 eat the way our culture Hunts people should eat Bad table m a n n e r s may rc-flect Kltal we could be if nature took Us course, but they also reflect lack- of t r a i n i n g , self-discipline and consideration for other people. The same is t r u e ot sex. Bad s e x u a l b i ? h a \ i o r m a y w e l l reflect what we could be w i t h no t i a i n m g . if we followed, w i t h o u t r e s e r v a t i o n , o u r n a t u r a l instincts Such behavior is nut acceptable to organized society. So we learn good table manners and good sexual habits rather than remaining at the a n i m a l level and living like animals. Sexual behavior is often conditioned by habit. This has a lot to do with what lurns on some people. Your husband may have conditioned himself to his fantasies and that is why he has trouble without them.' This is also true of animals. I was amused by an account of a stud horse that became conditioned to what his stable groom did. When the groom turned to ihe left in leading the stud out of the stable the stallion would become highly excited, but if he turned to the r i g h t he relaxed. Why? Because when the groom turned lo the left he led the stud out 10 Ihe breeding pen. ar.it when he turned to the right there was going to be no sex thai day. and the stud was t u r n ed out lo graze. Repetition of certain acts or rituals along w i t h sex con- d i t i o n s the a n i m a l or the human lo a degree of sexual responsiveness This is one part of Ihe total concept of conditioned responses that affects our total behavior, not only in the sexual area, but also in other areas of life. My best advice is lo talk to your husband and see if he c a n ' t realize that you too are conditioned not lo hearing about t h e o l h e r .girls b u t a b o u t vo'jrself. D E A R D U . L.A.M13 Whenever my husband brings home girty magazines they make me nervous. I can't let him come near me. and f con't even enjoy being in Ihe same room. I actually shake He knows about this. He says I'm a n u t . I feel like a nut 'in these limes to react this way. He never reads them in front of me. II he ever did I don't know what I'd do. Maybe you need to know that after having my children I went from an all right 34B to an awfully dull 32A. Do I need help 1 ' DEAR READER -. You are obviously intelligent enough to know t h a t v o u r h u s b a n d ' s WIN AT BRIDGE Scientific play fizzles out NORTH *.A Q 7 V K J 6 + A K 7 3 WEST A 8 2 A J 9 6 5 V 8 4 3 V 9 7 5 2 » J 10 9 7 + 6 3 2 4 Q 10 $ fi ' A 8 4 SOUTH [Dl A K 10 -13 V A Q I C t:\KS A ,15 2 Both vulnerable si Norlh Kasl South West knew from the bidding that South .only held three diamonds, so he dropped the 10 and nine and hung on to Ihe seven. Soulh cashed dummy's ace and queen of spades; led a (hird spade and thought. West was known to have a club as onof his tasl two cards. Was the other (he seven of diamonds or Ihe jack of spades? South guessed wrong and was one down. The hand wasn't a triumph for science, bul it wasn't a tragedy either. The game was team of four; at the other (able the grand slam was bid and somehow or other South managed lo go down two. I'.iss Pass Pass 5 ,YT Pass 6 N.T Pass Opening lead- J t I . N T 6 A P.IS5 The bidding has been- 8 Pass I A Pass Pass 3 * Pass Pass i* Pass Vo'J. Sou 111. ho!d- Ry Oswald James Jacoby w "' N ° rth Kast . N o r t h ' s f i v e n o t r u m p response was one of those modern scientific bids. It demanded that South bid his lowest four-card suit. When South bid six spades, North knew his partner held four spades and three cards in each olher suit This discouraged Norlh and he settled for letting Soulh play what should have been an easy six notrump. Il didn't work out that way. South won the diamond lead, cashed dummy's ice of clubs and led low lo his jack, and West's queen. West promptly led back the 10 ol clubs and Hast discarded a heart He could allord this because he knew ihat South held Just three hearts. Now South cashed all (he hearts and the last two diamonds. Everyone followed. i » 3 A 4 A \Vhal Jo you do now A -- Hid six spadi'S. Your partner is trying for a slam. You arr dfllghtcd lo bid il. Al ihe same limr ou have definitely told him thai }nu don'l hold the ace ol hearts. TODAY'S (JUKSTIOS Inslead of bidding Ihrcc drarr.or.ils your parlner has bi'l three hearls owr your Ihree rlubs. Whal do you tin now? Answer Monda) Send SI tor Jfi COR Y MOQfRU J.'nofc lo "Win al Budge." lc'o /Ins ne-tspafleri P 0 lion 489. Radio Crly Station. New Vor* « V 10010 pastime is'hannless. It doesn't mean he loves you aiiv less. Some men are actually more sexy if they have their mind stimulated by sexual thoughts. It even makes some of them b e t t e r lovers N e v e r u n - derestimate llie power ot the mind. Y o u r c o m m e n t s r e a l l y suggest thai you are concerned about boing compared lo ihe other women. Remember he looks al ihem. but lie married- yon. Vour self-image has probably s u f f e r e d because of vour change. You should lalk lo'your gynecologist about the change that can be corrected. Meanwhile, keep in mind that if you are a good partner and do your best to help your husband have a satisfactory married life thai he will prize you above others whether you are 34B or 32A. Personality and being a loving and supporting mate- is more important in the long run. Send your questions to Dr. L a m b , i n c a r e o f t h i s newspaper. P.O. Box 1551, Radio City Station. New York. N.Y. 10013. For a copy of Dr. Lamb's booklet on impotence, send 50 cents to the same address and ask for the "Impotence" booklet. Humane agent bill offered 1UI1SE i L ' I ' l i - The Idaho llumiini. 1 Society has presented llie Si'iiali 1 Judiciary CuinniiUeu with legislation In create special stale 1 humnm 1 agents wilh ihe pntt-ei- ol arrcsl and ii»- pnunrimenl. Tlif coiiunillre agreed lo consider il. but warned the measure prolwWv would h;n-p In gn li the Slule A f f a i r s Committee brcausc llir Judiciary Com- millcv cannnl introduce legislaliot: after next Tiiesrlay Tlie Judiciary Committee already has n bill before il which prohibits L-i-uc'lly lo ;miinals ;inil which establishes humane of- liccrs under ilu- Department if Law (·.'nfiircement. Astro- Graph - Bernice BedeOso! For Sunday, Feb. 9, 1975 ARI£S (March 21-April W) Yon ihmV, you vvcn't enjoy participating in aclwiy with a cei- lam group. Yoj're wrong You TAURUS (April 20-May 20) This may be a day ol resl for others, but you have an ambitious interest you'll pursue successfully in your own subtle manner. GEMINI (May 21-June 20} A plan you're think;ng of Uying is off on the wrong track, but one you'll talk with lo'tfay v;,'l hrinc; it back into focus. CANCER (June 21-July 22) You and your male will be 'empted to spe^d from you' h o u s e h o l d b u d g e t c-n something frivolous. Best you don't. LEO(July23-Aug.22)Dcn'tlel anyone rush you into making decisions or you'll come up w.lh the wrong answers Study (he matter. VrRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) Whai appears the easiest and quckest way to do something you're working on may prove the most costly .n the long run. LIBRA (Sept. 23-Od. 23) You're a Mile (oo impulsive (cr your own good today, especially in financial affairs,. Be careful. SCORPIO (Ocl, 24-Nov. 22) Plans made for yourself w II be disrupted lo lake care ot others' needs. You'll be annoyed at drsl. bul il will work o-.it okay. SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) You'll lei something slip ou! today that you s^ou'd t^ave kept ;o yourself Fortunately, your listener won't oass 'I on. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19) Something you want foi yourself can be gained if you deal d reclly w.lh person who can make he decision on the spot AQUARIUS (Jan. tf)-Feb, 19) Your effoM lo fcach a go^l wll suffer a temporary setback You'ii sec- where you made your mislake and reel fy it. PISCES (Feb, 20-March 20) Something impoilant win be told lo you in confidence It's 10 ·/our advantage lo keep 11 ID yoursell 7 birthday Feb. 9, KTS Advantages will come lo you ihis year from the use ol knowledge and enperhse you've acquired in you've acquired in your chosen lieid Also, conridions affecting your income will be more slab-llzcd There arc an uslimalw! 200 billion ions nf coal in reserve in the St. I.ouis- soultiern Illinois area. By BilKeane Hints from He/OfSC Tin- liliihu Kri'c Hri'ss The Nws-Tribum-. Saturday, February H. 1975--A--. Senior resents duty visits I kissed Daddy goodnight and his whiskers BIT me." To Buy, Sell, or Rent Dial 466-7891 or 459-4664 Dear Folks: We hear a lot these days about the problems of the elderly or Senior Citizens, but often don't really realize just how they feel. So let's stop a minute and think, 1 want to share just one of the many letters that I receive-this one from a dear "Senior Citizen "-which I think sums up what the vast majority are trying to say. We hear from many Senior Citizens, and I believe they want to be treated simply as people... Individual human beings and, most of all, just loved-whieh is what all of us want! Right? Hers is a good "LETTER OF THOUGHT" me thinks, so here 'tis . . Heloise i t » Dear Heloise: The years pass as regularly for the young as they do for the old. When a person is involved in making a life, the patten is so plain-first childhood, (hen adulthood and then the harvest of the stewardship--how one has used his talents, his abilities and his power to produce a product we linow as man. We help to make the environment we live In and become a part of social llie. Time passes quickly and we do nol notice when we become one of Ihe so called "elderly," because we are actively enjoying life as usual If our physical bodies have nol become sick or afflicted. I want to be one of the "group" until I myself feel it's time I slow to my ability, and not be dropped or set aside as an "elderly" citizen or given special attention. if along my way In li/e t have done things to deserve friends, they will not need lo be told what to do for me. They know my likes and dislikes and they respond in their attention to me. I resent being visited by communities of people who come because of duty, or because I've had enough birthdays to be known as an elderly citizen. 1 have always loved We, been active and gathered friends of all ages. 1 have wrinkles outside, but a young spirit within. Growing old !s an attitude of the mind! So let me mingle as I please. I know not to attend some places, but do enjoy being able to mix with the crowd. I am neither old or young. I am just me! "Twilight years" · · · Dear Heloise: Try using your potato masher to get thai hamburger broken down into nice, fine, pieces. Quick and easy! Mrs. N. Konigh BUCKfOOT, IDAHO Riversidt Pla?a MMP* 222 Holly Blvd . mm 205 South Mam BUWEV. IDAHO 2241 Owl a. JtEXeiJRC. IDAHO 20 vftsl hi Sculh WESTGATE-BOISE. IOAHO 78IOfjirview MOUNTAIN HOME. IDAHO 395 Noilh 2nd fjsl ONTARIO. OREGON '·»95 Soulh WtslFoiiilh L \ R ; K CAPACITY Kmmor Laundry Piiir Value ! Washer and Dryer G U A H A N T K E . (T\ .1.1". i...-..n.,, Yflur choice ol normal, delicate, and ·Normal" sitting lor iccuhi · loads sr:,^...^-',,·»«« P.-Ww^mnv;,* s. 2 W Top-mounltd l-nl screen ran, gu«dra|iliomc Comp'l Slm-o System 9-Inch Diagonal Measure Picture Color TV · 4-Channel AM/FM Stereo Receiver · Built-in 8-Track · Push Button Function Control · Joy Stick Speaker Balance Control #97021 298 Our lightest color TV makes an ideal second sel (or den or bedroom. Wilh heavyweight features like a 100% solid stale chassis and In-line Pic- lure lube. #4002 \.o\\ l ' i - i i T ( l M H T O M ;isr h e n · 450 walls ol powei · Portable. . . weighs only 65 Ibs. · 20-minule limef with signal hell #99011 $ SHOP AT .SI'AUS AND SAVK fiatn-filfllnn (I'liiirunliiil nr Scar.- " ( I . ( ) V I | r i » h l V a c u u m Upnfilil v .ic u ii in wilh beater-bar ad- liisls manually to even' clean shag tugi! Disposable dust hag ils into oulfji vinyl bag. gji'. $99.99 Uptight Vacuum 79'" 49 :«. Fl. Rffriprator with Ice Maker 88 lighted II.7cu. ft. autaaiic- delust leltijeialoi section has 3 aoVsiariie shelves. 2 c f«s EJJ rack. bult« keeper sMves on rjoor. Manual deltosl 4 3 cu h. (,«,,,, lie- has /fj tis - 3S r.2 f 299 S««rs-Boin t2l5WSiaieS:reei 3-156100 S«r«-C»ldw«ll 524 Cleveland Blvd 4593611

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