Page 36 GREELEY TRIBUNE Wed.. May 20, 1970 Marriage in Black and White . . _ , i . . . . . i _ . i..,.j~,i f.m.n nniiftt\n f\t Tn torpor 1 ! EDITOR'S NOTE - All marriages have tlieir problems, but Peachy Murray, one of 10 children whose father is a Meth- interracial matchings, by their odist minister in Houghton, nature, carry extra burdens. Why do some blacks and whites marry? How are they accepted by tlieir neighbors? And what do they think of the problems their children will have to face? By ANN BLACKMAN Associated Press Writer Once they've weathered the Initial shock and swallowed their hangups, the question most parents ask when their daughter announces she's going to marry a black man is: "Bui what about the children?" It's a hesitant question, ol course, steeped in skepticism veiled in fear. It reflects botl the anguished self-appraisal o "Where did we go wrong?" andl the concern, "What will the neighbors think?" The world is complicated enough, the elders argue. Marriage has enough hurdles. Why risk one more? "Because our similarities outweighed our differences."--Dr. Robert Murray, black geneticst, Washington. "Because we knew we were in love and that the biggest problems would be ones other people made for us."-Kenneth Jackson, black patrolman, Detroit. "Because, ideally, isn't this the way the world should be?' --Jacqueline Parrish, a white housewife, Boston. Fifteen Couples Fifteen couples in four cities N.Y., says her parents didn't approve of the marriage and reused to attend the wedding. Mellowed "They've mellowed some and hey adore the children," Mrs. Murray said as she brushed her ong dark hair off her face. 'But they can't understand how this is God's will. The children know this, but they can't understand why, if my parents love them, they couldn't accept Dad dy." The Murrays live in an integrated neighborhood in the burg, Ind., and graduated from Dcl'auw University. No, she said, she'd never dat- :d a black man before meeting Leonard and yes, her parents were much opposed to their narriage. In fact, none of her family attended the wedding. : H was such a relief to be pros- said. married and rid of the sures." Mrs. Tilman "We'd been a close family with love against you it can be difficult. My parents said it would kill m y " grandfather and that mj sister would be disgraced and never marry. Well, my grandfather lived for two more years and my sister found a hus ociation of Interracial Mar- lages in Detroit, an organiza- on to which 62 couples belong They meet for social reasons, nd to discuss their main prob cm--how to convince the public liey're not part of a hippie movement. "People are always curious bout what a mixed couple's northwest section of the capitol and said, yes, both'their black and white friends accept their marriage. "Of course we circulate in an academic community," Dr. Murray said. "Even if they disapprove of us, they think hey're too sophisticated to say .'Â· The Murrays say they don't condone interracial marriage for everyone, certainly, anc agree that, couples who marrj to defy society or their parents or who harbor a secret desire to ae social workers are going tr have problems. band." Another Washington couple David and Alice Littlefield, saj hey feel the pressure of wha hey call "a silent taboo' against interracial marriage ir jolh black and white communi les. Alice Littlefield, a tall blacl woman who seems most com 'ortable when playing with on of her children, said some of he young black friends at work dis- tids look like," Jackson said. "' hink they're disappointed when hey find they're not spotted." The Jacksons have a shy 3 'ear-old daughter, Maria, wh ..peaks more Spanish than Eng ish. She has soft brown curl; lair and fine features. Her parents don't like to thin hey're bringing her up in a hos ;ile world where hale is maske with plastic smiles and close doors. Teaching Love "We're teaching our child it' what you've got in your hea and heart that matters. Whc you love, there's no such'thin as color," Jackson said wistfu approve of a racially mixedjbetter place." ly. "Maybe our daughter will teach her children that and some day the world will be a marriage. Shocking "It's shocking for whites realize black people are preju- riage, it helps if the educational and economic backgrounds are similar, and then they remind you that those marriages don't always work out either. r m e u n ojupiL-s in iuui ^it.so "But when a mixed marriage --N'ew York, Washington, De-jbreaks up, people always blame troit and Boston--indicated in [it on the race issue", Dr. Mur- recent Associated Press inter- ra y said with a slightly amused views that, in most of the coun- smile. They sav that as in any mar diced, too," Mrs. Littlefield said Â·". - . ... ,, , . ' i, i l _ _i._ :--nÂ«,l ft *,rti,. nl/1 TVjloliccn as she jostled 2-year-old Melissa on her lap. "The black pride feelings among the younger blacks account for this." try, they find little acceptance 'Mixed marriage is a mys- . Her husband, David, a librari- e r u s a n , a v . an at the Library of Congress, = Alonzo and Marlys Motngom- ery have been married less than a year and live in a small, stucco house in a working-class section of Romulus Township, about 18 miles outside Detroit. Montgomery, 26. a welder | who grew up in the black neigh-1 borhoods of Detroit, is being tutored so lie can pass the high ,, he's from . land Puritan stock" and reaction of his parents to their equivalency examina- 'p'itions. Mrs. Montgomery. 25. "Ih" was an onlv child raised in the|i me Â· - - - -Â· . . i . marriage "mostly shock." Mrs. Littlefield years ago was suburbs outside Minneapolis. ] She graduated from the University of Minnesota and works for the Wayne County Hospital as a 11 V, UICJ iinu uLiit; Â«.-^.v-iJ..""-** ......v o- - T ., . r . TJ ..,,;,! tlioir l i l " Â» Â» Â« V " ^ ^uwtn.r of interracial marriage, espe- (cry to most people," he r-nnlm- Mrs. L iWI efle ' d . fea l a *' r soc i a l investigator, dally among what they call ued. "It's a dark closet full of three children David. Â»Â· Chra-| M ^ Mnnlgome ,,,.,,. ,. ., ------ -. ghosts. The fact is, a dally among what they "the white middle class." . , Almost all of them have expe-j marriage is like any marriage.'^ rieneed the auger and frustra-! Leonard and Suzanne "Zan" tion of being refused to res- Tilman live around the corner traints. the bitter helplessness from the Murrays. They were of not having a personal check married five years ago when accepted or, perhaps most disheartening, the moments when the white woman next door won't let her children play with those who are "part colored." three children David. Â»Â· Â»TM-| Mrs Montgomery said the topher, 4, and Melissa attend an in their educational integrated day care center and are awarwe but not bothered by color differences. "We just want to bring them married five years ago when up as people. We're teaching Zan was almost 25 and her hus-lthem love, not prejudice, she band 32. They have two boys.lsaid. 2, and Alec, three I Public scrutiny, stares, har Some of the couples interviewed purposely don't tell their Mark, months. Unlike the Murrays who want to give their children a black identity, the Tilmans want their assment, housing difficulties and family pressures vary little from city to city. There's little doubt that for integrated couples, life in the cities is much easier than in suburbs, small Viewed purposely uuil L leu mtn iiui:uiii., i"^- xim'""" Â· Â· Â« Â· - * employers or business associ-|children to feel free of a color ates about their family arrange-|stigma. ,- ments for fear of not being pro-! "You don't know what kind towns or villages, moled being fired, or, as one i a world you're raising your sons *Â·" ="'' 'Â·"Â» woman said, "just becausejfor," said Tilman, a pathology there are some things you don't:instructor at Howard Umversi- difference in their educational background makes no differ-j ence in their relationship. j "1 started out wanting to be a: j social worker," she said. "The: more different people are, thei more I'm attracted to them. We: plan to wait a while before hav-jj ing children, but when we do.! we want them to understand both the black and while worlds. They won't grow up with par-1 --'- -1 -- instill prejudice in| tell, to make life easier." tv." When I was 17 or 18, I had 511. 10 maKC 1111= LdMCl . L J . MUCH i ,,uo *Â· "- Â·Â«, - Sltll, the couples wrestle withia phobia about being labeled tope for their children'w world,[Negro. What race my sons ac" ' ' '"- cept will be up to them." Zan Tilman is an attractive evisioning one free of hate, frustration, envy, prejudice, neglect despair. They are optimistic; they don't feel the barriers hair and a fair, rosy COmpleX- woman are insurmountable. Along with the vows to love,, honor, cherish and obey, they] ion. She grew up In Lawrence- Ken and Loli Jackson have ents them." , , Most of the couples i n t e r - j j viewed agreed with Mrs. Mont Aen einu IjUll Jctuivaun nan. ..~..-~ o , lived in Detroit for three years, gomcry that parents are g u i l t y , . Jackson, a soft-spoken black of teaching their children prcju- j man is a patrolman. His white 1 dice. Many said they feel t h e i r , / wife, whom he met in Spain dur-|children's goal should be to lead ine his military service, speaks .this country down a road of ra-, little English. She tells you re-icial understanding towards ra-j sentment knows no languagcjcial peace. Â· larriers, that she feels the pub- Ted and Jacqueline P?r'TMi ( lie scorn. Funeral Fit for King accept the'probabilities of houi-lf?OS/6 i H G I fOfDP ing difficulty, travel limitations, I inadequate restaurant service, uncashed checks, family pressures, and friendships which sometimes wane. i Many of the couples, though optimistic about their own marriage, said they feel a growing polarization between the races. z divisive force w hiflh f ' n " lrl kir - dle more violence separatism. 'Think Block' Most said they 1 UU niiu oÂ«\-\.t"fiiiÂ«- * Â«Â· ' '*Â·"Â· i t , scorn live in a brownslone building in:| "jackson is president of the As- Boston's South End with their! i four children who range in agesj from 9 years to 4 months. The, two oldest. David. 9. and Deb-j bie, 8, have a black mother who ; | was divorced from Parrish a j " few years ago. j DaVid and Debbie go to Bos-1 ton's integrated New School 1 By RONALD THOMSON Associated Press Writer LONDON (AP) -- Soho, often The Rev. John McDonald told the congregation: which emphasizes black pride:, and black awareness. When one bum. Timothy Cotter. known only in jnle . as "Rosie," would have appro- HlUn: . , ., , ' passing of Timothyjof their classmatcs^asks t h e m j , cr is di-',j a white]' peared'from the's'oho scene." " [ladywho is their stepmother. |( Thousands of Londoners and! Mrs. Parrish, who has hghM tourists knew Kosie for his ec-jbrown hair which she combs o f f : ( centric song and dance routines'lier face so it falls lightly 10 her. ,' feel a growing ,, ONDO N (AP) - Soho, often Â« i n t pa ^ ^.^ ween the races. described as London's square Cotte , mo e fair, har to a t of which could km-* ile of V iee, gave a royal fare- ^/l,^f',',^3^ 'has disaVivorced and married ce, perhaps even well Monday to its most lovable ^^^SS, scene." ladv who is their stepm . c e n r c song an ,,.. : - - - Â· - ' , . Jciated it. j-hilarious nonsense that often shoulders, grew up in Co}im-| grated neighbo!hoods but tha pe nnvless last week J ..-Â«:,, h,,= nhin whore her father.! they "think black." This, they said, means they've overcome in Brixton Prison. color barriers, Â·white" means dice. that to to think preju- i stopped traffic. bus, Ohio, "where' her father, i Rosie was 54. He died behindiyho married them, is a Method. . . ^ _ ~ f- .ict mmiGTPr For the past 25 years nosie bars ' unab i e to pay a ?12 fine on|'st minister had slept, in the streets of Sohol a cnarge of hein g drunk-one ofj One integrated couple inter i market stalls One black man who is about to become a father for the first time said he wants only sons They . "because they're easier to [everyone arm." . was fit f Some of the white wives, who Hundreds are married to young black mill)le s itant types, said they fear for! heads ,. their husbands' lives in any ra-| wcnl by . --cleaning up the garbage from s t r j ng 0 [ -strip clubs, restaurants and fenses Soho residents on --"Â·, ,Â° ,--. , v .j ,Â· of-'viewed asked not to be identi 01 , ; .^ bKmse |hcy , d alrea(]y had had collected'too much trouble with employ- Southern Style, Lb. . 69 _79' SPARERIBS LOIN CUT PORK CHOPS ROUND BONE CUT U.S.D.A. Choice Beef SWISS STEAK 7? CHUCK WAGON ^ Â· STEAKS r_ 89' LONGHORN CHEESE SL.79 mmmfm^mmi^mim^ma^^^^^^-- See Cream r'/2Gai 75' COOKIN' BAG MEATS TOMATOES Banquet Frozen 23' Del Monte Wedges 303 Cans __ CORN HiK Wig 303 Cans $168 ^0 \J | Â· E E Folger'. JLcan | LUNCHEON MEAT 1^ 3 $ 1 VIENNA SAUSAGE 4 HICKEN Allen, Canned 3V4 Lb. Can ORCHARD Orange Drink 1 /!. 49 LIQUID DETERGENT S; s , 49 of people blocked streets and bowed their iTenSe Moment as Rosie's procession. cial confrontation. Some con-| Thg " funera i was pa id for bv !At Bear Cages V' , ^ guess I'm the type who'd marry a black woman, would you?' he asks. men who knew him as a persis- Really Square cede they fear for their own as m aJ.k ell " r aders,"s'rrippers, caba-j NEW YORK (AP) - Eightjdle-class people who' lcad',( well. 'But not, they said, for the lives of their children. They seem to feel the young will lead this country down the road of racial understanding towards racial peace. They said interracially married parents are still l l i a i KCL. 1 1 tlUGl O, ijn ifj'--' ~ i ----- I ^ l - / * Â» i v y i t Â« Â» \ * " / --- O . U l t ' U l u o a J l t l l p l V i inn^ j^uÂ« ret singers, club managers, | men armed with fire hoses and S q Uare , middle-class lives," he shop owners and by local police- 1 i, eavy i,- nn rods stood by as sa j d "i mean, we believe in law! - : ~ "--'--' 0 -'- I/ ~ 1 ...... J ----tent offender and a friend. I opened a gate between two po-^ome land order. I just, wanwt a decent j They called him Rosie he- lar bear cages, cause he dubbed himself a kindj Then Scandy, a for my ne ior my Mutj. ] i We're really not bleeding! j 5-year-oldjheart liberals out to save the. cause he dubbed nimseit a MIIUJ Then scanay, a a-year-oiu near t liberals out 10 save me of second-hand rose. (male walked cautiously into the! wor id," said his wife, an articu- . , o s e c - . cially married parents are still business person- quarter-acre compound of Snow- paying the dues but 7 epda i a ^ rc11 t cSnU ' as Dannv La Ruelball. a 6-year-old female. peth? a Mu ray of' nd Charlie Chester were there | .., t was a mighty tense mo- Peachy MU ray c carried mln zookee per John Fitzger- w a h Bob late black woman. "I wish peo-P pie wouldn't consider us a cu-|' riosity." I , -- -: ^ ,n-jrrifirllto watcn me uoniii udmcu jiin, nicni. /.uimeepci uuim t n/.^*-' They have four children D U t j J Washington have been mdrrieu ^^ Q( Qur Lady of the ^ saj(| Monday _ . They cou ldithey said they haven't thought' 13 years and have inree du,^ j ( G y | e kj|lcd Mch olhcr righl i bnut iving them a black n r , Â«ve.children of their own C o h n . ^ room only in t h o r e _ iden , ity T)|C oldest is n| J u' ' S '" Thhv W 1,tev?th the church-most traders closed , lRut inslead they circled and they haven't yet had to deal the ( piano^obby. 10, play i TM ses fflr the entire: around ail d put their mouths to-with the problem i flute, swims almost every mgnt v \ i The couple's optimism doesn't ' hOPGS Â»" s! fs m the 1 ~ - -' : - ^re doing," he .said. "Only two stem from a life together free of U.S. No. 1 Red Long Green Slicera .... 103.29 c UlVmplCS. OUicumc, u, i.j third grade and plays the clan- Romney Returns Pay In Inflation Battle net. Last year, the Murrays adopt-: ed a baby daughter whom 1 they've been hears would know what that is, but it sure made us happy." The zoo hopes the meeting ,.^,,, ______ ,, ...- ... O .... harassment. They own a house I in a rundown black neighborhood, tolerate poor service in restaurants, a neighbor who spits on their sidewalk when she walks by, and derogatory com- , ments about "coons" and "white niggers" from business -cnpialpc: ' One evening, the man's cm daugmer wnom: NEW YORK (AP) - George-will result in mating and pro- thev've oeen told is "mixed| Romney. secretary of housing;duco some cubs for the species, breed"-a harsh term to de-] a nd urban development, an-! w hich scientists have warned is scribe the little girl who is al-'nounced that beginning Mon. he.in danger of extinction. most as light skinned as herjis returning one-quarter of hisj Caucasian mother and whose : $60,000 salary to the goyernmcnt|^ c ji ve Service brothers and sister brag, "she'f.; as Ms''personal contribution to j _ ac tive ployer saw'tnem'ealing together integrated, just like, ns. Â·.the bait le ag.ms innalion. TA PE . A NationalisliiPn a dnwnlown restaurant.. The rew u in Newbtirgh, N.Y. ''Â»"" M TM nf TM hat anvnne else'the first 10-year period came up ERRY'S MARKET 513 14th Avenue nt a said. "One week the boy.sjhim since it "could have a tan-.spokesmen said. _ |TM m'LgTt with fafse pride and will have a white girl friend, the jgible effect in slowing the; I H . . ! Prices Good Through Monday, May 25th Open 7 a.m. to 9 p.m. 6 Days A Week next week a black one." | wage-cost-price spiral." USE TRIBUNE WANT ADS [prejudice..
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