South Florida Sun Sentinel from Fort Lauderdale, Florida • Page 66

6E Sun-Sentinel, Thursday, September 22, 1994 KIDS AND O.J. Mirrors of Our Psyches Instant reactions can tell us about our secret judgments. J' gestures we use, the way we speak, the way we hold ourselves," Lewis says. Or a new acquaintance may display a behavior that triggers awareness of our "shadow selves." The shadow self is a concept developed by Swiss psychologist Carl Jung to explain "the parts of ourselves that we're not aware of because we don't like them," Bercov explains. "When we're young, we form opinions about behavior that we like and don't like," he says.

"When we see these behaviors in other people, we have lots of judgments about them." Why are we so full of judgments? Because the behaviors we don't like are ones we typically engage in ourselves. We don't like ourselves when we're being egotistical, aggressive, wimpy, or whatever, so we sure as heck don't like other people who behave similarly. As Bercov puts it, "I've worked real hard to repress those things in myself, and here's somebody who dares to go out and do finity for someone who has traits we'd like to have but don't be it charm, humor, or something else. "We think that if we just hang around them, that trait) will rub off on us," he says. Everything's warm and fuzzy when our gut reaction is positive; it's the negative reactions that can cause problems if the person you hate on sight is someone you'll be stuck with for a long time a loved one's family member, for instance.

That's why it's so important to be willing to look at yourself, to understand what it is about you that's causing your hostile gut reaction, therapists say. By so doing, "we see that maybe it's not really this person we don't like" but a particular characteristic, Lewis says. Despite the things we don't approve of in ourselves, she notes, "we tend to employ a lot of denial about those things and somehow overlook them. "Maybe we can extend the same courtesy to the other person." those things!" Deborah, a waitress who didn't want her last name used, was gung-ho about a new job she had gotten and eager to learn about her new company until she met the head of the corporate training team. "She stood up and opened her mouth, and I went, 'I hate this Deborah says.

She can rattle off plenty of reasons "her uneducated way of speaking," "her body language," "her incredibly unprofessional behavior." But the bottom line is that the trainer displayed a characteristic Deborah doesn't like in herself: "being very pushy." In keeping with Jung's shadow-self theory, Deborah's pushiness is something she tries to suppress. Of course, our gut reactions can be positive as well as negative. When we feel an instant bonding with someone, an immediate liking for a person we just met, we're responding to "the things we see in others that we like about ourselves," Bercov says. In addition, we may feel an af By LORAINE O'CONNELL The Orlando Sentinel You've experienced it at least once in your life: You've met someone and, without knowing a thing about the person, taken an immediate dislike to him or her. Or you've felt an instant rapport with someone right after exchanging "hellos." These are pit reactions, and they tell us more about ourselves than about the people who inspire them.

"It's our intuition kicking in," says Steve Bercov, a licensed mental health counselor in Winter Park. What we're feeling are "the things we know but that we're not consciously aware of," he says. For example, a new acquaintance may remind us of "someone or something in our past that brought us pain or joy," says Lorisa Lewis, a licensed mental health counselor in Winter Park. That reminder can come instantaneously because "we give off a lot of messages about who we are in our body language, the Mil Vf J. BHBDDBD0BDB Naturalizer Week Savings Values fl I i fl (CAIEilPE'ir VALUE PRICE O.J.

Simpson and his lawyers, Johnnie Cochran and Robert FROM PAGE 1E Kids' questions often link news to themselves Children will probably talk about the case whether or not parents want them to, a point made by Dr. Alan Unis, a psychiatrist who is the director for. research in the Division of Child and Adolescent Psychiatry at Children's Hospital in Seattle. "I think kids at school find themselves in the position of taking sides in the O.J. Simpson murder case, whether they know anything or not," he says.

"The case is of topical interest in the schoolyards. There are discussions between kids about who is right and who is wrong." The interest even extends to children so young that they had no knowledge of O.J. Simpson before his appearance in the back of a white Ford Bronco being pursued by police on Los Angeles freeways. That he was once a football star matters not to these youths; the murder case has conferred its own kind of celebrity. But the fact that children have some interest in the case does not mean it should be encouraged, child development experts emphasize.

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SearsCharge, Visa, MasterCard, and Discoverard welcome. Travel AAA AA' 7-10 6-10 charge applies to most areas. Offers expire SATISFACTION GUARANTEED OR YOUR MONEY BACK Jar 1f File photo from left, Gerald Uelmen, Shapiro confer in court. The interest extends to children so young that they had no knowledge of O.J. Simpson before his appearance in the back of a white Ford Bronco being pursued by police in Los Angeles.

dren in dinner-table discussions about developments in the case or even asking such leading questions as "What did you hear about O.J. Simpson in school today?" Students in middle school or high school may be able to handle such discussions, including such matters as how the criminal justice system functions, but definitely not children in elementary school or younger. With them, experts advise following a general guideline of "answer carefully when asked, but don't offer information otherwise." Dr. Bill Womack, a child psychiatrist at the University of Washington School of Medicine, says: "My advice to parents is that, the younger the child, the less information you give until you know what is really being asked." David Schwimmer, who was "4B" in the first four episodes of NYPD Blue, figures to have a longer run as Ross in Friends. older brother.

She did, Rachel admits. But that was then and this is now. Their budding romance also looks like a "to be continued." David Schwimmer, who was "4B" in the first four episodes of NYPD Blue, figures to have a longer run as Ross. Schwimmer said appearing in the controversial cops show was a great experience but that it didn't result in casting agents besieging him with offers. After his NYPD Blue turn, Schwimmer said, "I just started pounding the pavement again.

It did generate good exposure, but that's all." Two guys from across the hall, Joey and Chandler, also are constant presences in Monica's apartment. Matt LeBlanc plays Joey, an aspiring actor, and Matthew Perry is Chandler, a professional wise guy. In a drab TV season, these Friends are nice to have around. Cherokee ifcf NEW 2 MEDICATION PROGRAM (as featored In N. Y.

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As they prepared to say, "I do," she ig-; ured out who: Mr. Potato Head, i Having exhibited her indepen- dence for the first time, Rachel is anxious to maintain it. She decides to try to make a go of it without Daddy's millions behind her. This means she needs "one of those job things." Jennifer Anis-ton is a winsome Rachel. Rachel's sudden availability comes as good news to Monica's brother, Ross, who could use a lift.

His wife just tossed him over for another woman. Worse is yet to come. In a sub-sequent episode, Ross' wife breaks the news that she is pregnant with his child and that she and her lover plan to raise the baby. Ross confesses to Rachel that he has had a crush on her since high school but he feared that she viewed him as Monica's geeky VALUE PRICEJ the Grand Canyon. JT'J Classic in 1 1 black, brown or The Galleria i 1 Coral Square Mall 305-752-7259 The Gardens 407-624-1530 I 6tf-10 A Sport the Whole Family vZZTrr Can Get Into.

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