Fort Lauderdale News from Fort Lauderdale, Florida • Page 111

1 WOODY'S WORLD HAZEL Fort Lauderdale Xpws Wpdnfdav. Dec. 18. 1974 7F Let's All Head Home For A Holiday Fling i YALLIE KELSEH'S LITTLE WORLD WONDERING AND WANDERING Five of the most beautiful words in the language could be; "I'm going home for Christmas When we said Jim Thorpe played with the Akron Bulldogs we blew it. It was the Canton Bulldogs.

We had a number of phone calls on this and several interesting articles that we should get to in a couple of weeks Column writing can be rewarding. Mary Jo Considine phoned and said she was spending the rest of the month in her beloved Michigan and just wanted to wish us a Merry Christmas and tell us how much enjoyment we had given her during the year. We had to miss a number of notices because we didn't eet Hendrich, but it was a little too much Our thanks to R. W. Shellhouse and Jane Eger for giving us Edgar Guest as author of the poem, "Said the Lord to Parents." One of the many things this dumb old Swede can't understand is the fact that as long as the United States and Russia have enough bombs to blow up the world, why they keep on making them.

What else can they blow up Quick, give us the names of Santa's reindeers. There's always one you can not come up with Estger Achenbach, one of our good kids, had some recent luck. The accordionist at Patricia Murphy's on Thanksgiving Day showed her how to play jingle bells on the squeeze box and a friend made her a pre-Christmas gift of sport Comet. The Broward Convalescent Home can stil use your piano talent or any entertainment talent. Just phone the place and ask for Anna Laura Mack, program chairman.

The Good will Blenders have entertained there several time1! A fresh Christmas tree costs as much this year as our whole Christmas used to cost us, gifts and all Let's see you come up with a better slogan using two letter words than this one: If it is to be, it is up to me, so be it. Harry. Williams found that one. Back in your younger years, asked L. C.

Zimmerlv. did vou you hear mp? wrm'f k. TJextweek for your food conference!" "Have you thought this thing through?" LI'L ABNER BUT SINCE WE WERE VI INTO AM APARTMENT ff FIRED FROM THE FORCE FOR STUPIDITY WE HOPS WE PONT LOOK LIKE FOOLS FOLLOWING them in time. We keep telling you that we need 10 days. Thank you Clara Schaller for a nice letter and a great article.

We hope someday to find room for it And that goes for you, too, Ed Surpre One of our local school teachers told us he was qualified to teach in higher grades but preferred the elementary grade because he had a better chance at parking This you won't believe. We know a couple who had been married so long that they are on their second bottle of Worcestershire sauce. We gotta have a couple of calendars with open spaces around the figures Mr. and Mrs. James Woods celebrated their 40th wedding anniversary with number of friends at the Anacapri, Dec.

1st. It was a grand party and we met a lot of nice people We're still in the good graces of Ray Funk of Memphis, Tenn. He presented us with another jar of comb honey from his own hives. (Tack sa mycket, Ray Leigh Adams couldn't wait for his Christmas gift from his wife. He found a pair of flannel pajamas and immediately donned them during our recent cold snap.

Florence and Herb Lipster, as you know, you were right We got a pleasant surprise when we bought 100 Christmas stamps. No sales tax. That was because the government hasn't thought of it yet If the reader who wanted the words to the "courting frog" did not get them, we have them here from Marian Miller We really liked your pot poem, Ralp CTHOSE FLOWERS- TO LOSE Br 7k have a thunder mug as part of your household? We sure did and so did ten million other households In a recent column "Dear Abbey" confessed she never played "post office." Poor kid, we'll bet she never played "spin the Pan" either Thank you Audrey Hamilton for your note about "Rosie O'Grady." One of the highlights of Moose Club activities during the year is the exciting children's Christmas party scheduled for the afternoon of Dec. 22. Joe Vertullo is chairman We're loaded with copy.

Just be patient, we're bound to get out from under by the end of the year. AR ALLT THE PHANTOM IS THIS?) AHEAP I iY I SEE THAT ARCHERY ruK MY Six Rules To Follow In Raising A Brat By Ann p4 Landers WHY, YOU CREEP' 'wait you) creepI LIKE YHAT KINP pSOVI SO WHAT? I'M IN A HURRY. I WW TWENTY ARCHERY Ilk Dear Ann: As a teacher, I would like to pass along a set of rules for parents. If followed they are guaranteed to produce a spoiled brat who will later develop into a thoroughly messed-up adult, 1. If your child has trouble with a teacher, don't go to the school and talk to the teacher.

Run directly to the principal, to the superintendent of schools, or to the head of the board of education. It's always best to go straight to "the top." 2. Whenever your child complains about how mean or unfair a teacher is and describes some incident of cruelty or injustice, accept every word as the gospel truth. You know YOUR child would never color or slant the facts. 3.

Don't bother to write a thank-you note or offer a word of praise if a teacher does something special for your child. After all, teachers are paid by YOU, the taxpayer. That's thanks ANDY CAPP reword it and use it in your column. My former problem is one that millions of women still suffer from. I hope I can help them through you.

For ten years nf marriage 1 had a very difficult time enjoying sex. Most of the time it was a "duty," faking satisfaction (and orgasm) so my husband's feelings wouldn't be hurt. Several months ago I confided this to my new gynecologist (after having been told by two others that my "problem" was "95 per cent A simple' surgical procedure called a "dorsal clip" was suggested. It has changed my sex life com-pletgly. Now I need no longer pretend.

The enjoyment is real. I'm so happy about the change in my life that I wsnt to shout it from the housetops but of course, I can't. But you can. Will you? Reborn. Dear Re: Your problem was at least in part physical, since the dorsal clip obviously helped.

The decision should be made by a gynecologist, however, and not be sought as the magic ImNCfiMTBATE. IP iS l7 SORRY, PET.M FLO RUSE WILL XSHUTTHE bwT'ECK WLL1DU IIM Y( 'EAROU yJEAR WHAT SHE ST I ithP bAPTFSi V- KZJT BEHIND VOUj I ttpt jily TIGER (l HATEToWfHEEAS yl youVesoriFoop) SAY I 1ttlN6S VoU CO)lV enough. 4. When your child complains that there is too much homework, agree with him and if necessary do it for him. Children need recreation and rest.

5. If your child reports that the teacher embarrassed him in front of the whole class for some little thing he did, phone the school and make it clear that you will not permit any teacher to discipline your child because he is very sensitive "not like most children." 6. Don't bother about PTA meetings, Visiting Night, or any of the other school functions that make for better relationships between parents and teachers, They are a bore. We appreciate your help, Ann Landers. You are a real friend.

Oklahoma Teacher. Dear O.T.: Thanks for a fine set of rules. I agree that if followed, they will produce a permanently damaged child and chronically miserable parents. Dear Ann: I hope my letter isn't so personal that you can't solution to a problem which, in most cases, is psychological. Dear Ann: This friend at work was very pleasant until I borrowed $100 from her.

I had hoped to pay it back within a month, but unexpected expenses came up and I was unable to. I'm not a deadbeat and WILL pay eventually but I'm amazed at her coolness. What do you think about this? Disappointed Dear Dis: I think Mark Twain was right when he said, "The holy passion of friendship is so sweet, so steady, loyal and enduring that it will last a whole lifetime if not asked to lend money." Even if drinking is the "in" thing in your crowd, it needn't crowd you out. Learn the facts from Ann Landers's booklet, "Booze and You For Teen-Agers Only." Send 35 cents in coin and a long, self-addressed, stamped envelope to Ann Landers, P.O. Box 1400, Elgin, 111., 60120.

0 1" Flild Enterprises, Inc. THE LOCKHORNS 1 REDEYE Now- LETTER FLY ONE. OF THE FIRST TMlMSS A WARRIOR LEARNS IS TO WASH MIS HANDS AFTER EATIM6 A PEANUT BUTTER AND JELLY 1 alf OKAY, THE STRIMS PACK IT IZ-6 YOU SQUEEZE? THROUGH THAT LIKE AN EXPERT.11 11-18 HAGAR Horoscope By BERNICE BEDE OSOL WoULP TMAT THY WAHT to. TREATED For Thursday, Dec. 1 9, 1 974 YoU WHATb WKOH IH wtww things you buy now or you'll settle for second best, rather than wait for what you want.

SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 23-Dec. 21) If you try to win another's favor through flattery or gifts, it won't come off quite as well as you hope. CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan.

1 9) You tend to be more talkative than is wise to the wrong people. Information you should withhold will slip out. AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 1 9) This is one of those days where you'll have to be careful not to lend things to people who forget you're the owner.

PISCES (Feb. 20-March 20) You'll select alternatives today that ofier you the easy way out, rather than face issues as you should. If the cabinets are sturdy, it doesn't make sense to replace the parts that aren't seen. In just one day we can install beautiful modern mica fronts, cabinet doors and drawer fronts, complete with new hard ARIES (March 21 -April 19) Your good intentions will be taken advantage of by one who expects mora than you offered to do in the first Dlace. TAURUS (April 20-May 20) A friend's affairs are quite complicated at this time.

If you're careful, you'll be drawn into the situation. GEMINI (May 21 -June 20) If a subordinate's actions are displeasing, it's best to bring the matter out in the open rather than pretend it doesn't exist. CANCER (Juna 21 -July 22) A frustrating situation today will look like it's under control. As it progresses, however, it becomes more baffling, LEO (July 23-Aug. 22) Be alert for loopholes in commercial transaction you're part of today, especially if high-pressure methods are used.

-VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22) You're a little too concerned today about whether the other guy Is pulling hi weight. Just worry about youiself. LIBRA (Sept.

23-Oct. 23) You'll begin a task you're not too fond of, then set it aside. Later, you'll go back to it with even less enthusiasm. SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov.

22) Don't be impulsive regarding ware, including self-closing hinges on your existing cabinets! No breaking up walls. Top quality materials! Top quality at a fraction of the cost of a completely new Call today for a FREE estimate with no obligation! TUMBLEWEED r'ELFiNr- YrlM SHERIFFS r-f PKING ME rl WHREmI eoTlTi HE'S OUTA zO (A CAKE WITH A) W-m VV THE TOWNl L'utA FILE IN IT! 7 Vf fmm I your birthday Dec. 19, 1974 This year you will make some basic changes in your home or residence. Means will be made available to provide you with more luxury and comlort. ENTERPRISE ASSN.).