Ann Landers Says; People Do Perform at Their Own Weddings Dear printed Readers: Recently, I a letter from an engaged girl who is making plans for her wedding. Her fiance, she said, has a beautiful voice and wants to sing a solo at their wedding. She asked if it would be proper. I told the girl that the bridegroom on hand to be married and not Landers to entertain the guests, and in my opinion they had better get someone else to sing. Here is a sample of this week's mail: Dear Ann .Landers: Our daughter has been crying all day on account of you. Just last month, we gave her a lovely wedding and everyone said it was perfect down to the last detail. When Monica came down the aisle on her father's arm, her husband-to -be walked toward her singing "I Love You Truly". This added such a romantic touch to the ceremony that later we received several letters about it from the guests. Now, we see in your column that you feel it is in poor taste. Who appointed you judge and jury of the whole world? — SHORT HILLS, N.J. Dear * * * Know-It-All Ann Landers: When my husband and 1 were married 18 years ago, he tcok my arm from my father who had walked me down the aisle, we both faced the guests in the church and he sang "Because". This was not planned, in fact it was a surprise to me and I was thrilled. When our daughter is married, I hope her husband does the same thing. A spontaneous song from the groom is much more meaningful than a professional singer who gets VT. paid. — BURLINGTON, Dear * * * Ann Landers: You are so arrogant you make me sick. Why do you feel that your way is the only risht way? I refer to your statement that it is in poor taste for a groom to sing at his own wedding. Our son married a lovely girl who had been married previously and was divorced. When the bride and groom met at the altar, she turned to him and sang, "The Second Time Around". She is not a professional singer Ann; in fact her voice is just fair, but everyone was so moved by her singing that song it was the talk of the town for weeks. I think you owe cur family an apology. — BIRMINGHAM, ALA. * * * Dear Ann Landers: I was very disappointed when you said it was in poor taste for the groom to sing at his own wedding. My fiance and I are gcing to be married in April and we have been rehearsing a duet. We had planned to sing "Each For The Other". At first Elwood was not very keen on the idea but my mother and I talked him into it. Now, after what you said in your column, Elwocd is getting balky again and if he refuses to sing it will be your fault. I wish you would mind your own business. — HUTCHINSON, KANS. * * * Dear Ann: Our son is a fine organist. Eugene has played the organ at dozens cf weddings, including his own. The ceremony was beautiful, and our son's exquisite music provided a fitting background. When the clergyman came to the portion of the service where Eugene's pres- enc was required, he got up frcre the organ and all the guests applauded. Then he and his bride were married. Everyone said it was the most unusual wedding they had ever attended. — GLENDALE, CALIFORNIA Dear Readers: Well, we have just heard from New Jersey, Vermont, Alabama and California — a good cross section ol the country. It seems that people have been performing al their own weddings for quite some time and from the tone of the mail, they are going to con tinue to do so. If it gives the bride and groom a feeling of satisfaction and they are not concerned about the theatrical aspects, who am I to crab the act? Unsure of yourself on dates? What's right? What's wrong? Should you? Shouldn't ycu? Send for Ann Landers' booklet "Dating Do's and Don'ts", enclosing with your request 35 cents in cran and a long, self-addressed stamped envelope. (Ann Landers will be glad to help you with your problems. Send them to Ann Landers, Box 3346, Chicago, 51, 111.) Mrs. Bernard N. Hayert (Verna Lee Hoover) Hoover-Hayen Verna Lee Hoover, daughter of Mr. and Mrs. Vernon L. Hoover, Cuba, Kas,, was united In marriage to Lt. Bernard N. Hayen, son of Mrs. Delores Hayen, Belleville, and Lt. Col. (ret.) Bernard N. Hayen, Erie, Kas., Dec. 4 at the First Presbyterian Church, Cuba. Receiving the couple's double-ring vows was the Rev. Fred Mansfield. Decorating the altar were two candelabra and red mums and lily-of-the-valley, accented with red and white bows. Verlene Makalous, Manhattan, and Nelson King were musicians. The bride designed and made Hints from Heloise: It's Easy to Make Makeshift Toys her fu'l - length gown and veil. Features of the Chantilly lace and satin dress were a high gathered neckline trimmed in satin and long billowy sleeves gathered at the wrists. Bows of satin and two pleats accented the Empire waistline. A lace and satin bow held her bouffant veil of illusion. She carried red roses and streamers of love knots on a white Bible, a gift of the bridegroom's mother and grandmother. Maid of honor: Cindy Wiruth, Salina. Bridesmaids: Mrs. Gary A, Maughan, Greenwood, Neb., and Mrs. Be'leville, Kenneth H. Asch, the bride's sisters, and Mrs. James Carpenter, Lincoln, Neb., cousin of the bride. Their floor - length frocks of red satin brocade were worn with headpieces holding red illusion veils. Red carnations and miniature white mums composed their colonial bouquets. Registering guests: Mona Hcover, Cuba, the bride's sis- :er. Displaying gifts: Mrs. Jan Hayen, Erie; Terry Lesovsky, Hays and Audrey Kunc and Charlotte Kunc, both of Cuba. Best man: Kerry Hayen, Belleville, brother of the groom. Groomsmen.- Jim Hayen, Erie, uncle of the groom; Arlo Millen, Republic, the groom's cousin, and Mitch Childs, Manhattan. Ushers and taperlighters: Kenneth H. Asch, Belleville, and Gary A. Maughan. Greenwood, assisted by James Carpenter, Lincoln. Assisting at the reception in the church parlor: Mrs. Harvey Skucius and Mrs. Frank Wiruth, both of Cuba, and Mrs. Charles Andrews and Mrs. Paul Carpenter, both of Lincoln, Neb. Mrs. Hayen is a graduate of Cuba high school and Ben's schocl of beauty, Lincoln, Neb. She modeled for several fashion shops in Lincoln, and prior to her marriage was a cosmetologist at Inez' beauty salon, Lincoln. Her husband was graduated from Belleville high school and the University cf Kansas, Lawrence, where he majored in political science and psychology. He is in the U. S. Air Force, stationed The home in San Antonio, Tex. newlyweds will be at at Westerhills, San Antonio, following a wedding trip to Missouri. By Heloise Cruse ; Dear Heloise: Isn't it strange how babies seem to prefer makeshift toys to expensive ones? Recently, when we had our precious eight-month-old granddaughter with us for a few days, I found she was very fond of a little small, red tin baking powder can I had emptied. Being smooth, it was hard for her to hold onto it. So Granny put on her thinking cap and came up w j t h this idea: First I put a discarded plastic checker ' inside the empty can (anything that and screwed the Heloise rattles will do) cap on tight. I then dropped the can lelp thousands who are on crutches or canes and are aught out in the weather when t rains. If you completely cover the crutch tip with a piece of cloth about five inches square and 'irmly secure it with rubber sands, it will prevent many nasty falls. Rubber tips on wet, slick pavement or sidewalks can be deadly. Many people caught out in the rain are terror - stricken and have to wait for help or until Lhe rain dries up. I .used crutches for many, many years before learning this vital trick. Ken Caruthers and all into an empty, plastic mesh onion bag and tied three or four good big knots securely at the top. Presto, a new toy for baby, which has become a favorite, and it didn't cost Granny one penny. Now she can play with her little baggie - can for hours with- c«t it slipping from her little hands, and the mesh onion bag becomes a safety factor. How in the world did Grannies ever get along B.H.F.H. (before H e 1 o i s e ' s fanlabulous hints)? Keep them coming. Mrs. N. L. Klinginsmith And how did the world ever get along without Grandmas like you? Heltise Josephine Lowman Says: Life Is Tough Enough As Is Why Try to Make It Harder? Life is not easy all the time for anybody! It is sure to hold disappointments, problems, pain and grief as well as happiness, success, gaiety and pleasant surprises. Since it is tough enough, goodness knows, just as it comes to us, R seems strange that we make It harder for ourselves than it need be. Almcst everyone does this. If you will examine your life and look at your reactions objective^ I believe you ' will find that this is true of you. Do you worry about «vcry little mistake you make or about what people Lewnww are saylnfl about you? Are you anndycd or thrown off balance by lh« small complications of dally living? Do you hold gnidRwi? Do you cross bridges before you come to them? Do you huff, puff and strain and push your way tensely through each day? In other words, do you fight life or are you at peace with it? Do you approach it in a relaxed way? There is power in the kind of relaxation I am thinking cf. Approach Each Day If we could learn to approach each day with a feeling of peace and relaxation, we would get more done, be happier, prettier, and certainly healthier. Most people who have nervous breakdowns or crack up have not learned how to carry their responsibilities without strain, to let life rest lightly on their shoulders. You won't get there any faster by tensing up and pushing your tongue against the roof of your mouth. It doesn't help to hurry while sitting down. The minor crises of daily life have their homorous side and anyway ft dcesn't help to stew about them. Grimncss and tenseness also make on« brain-bound and block Dear Heloise: Here is a must which will Dear Ken: I think you are the world's greatest for sending in this tip. Not only will it help the permanently lame, but especially those who temporari'y are on crutches. We don't even know hew to use them! Heloise * + * Dear Heloise: Having two sons, ages eight and seven, I have found an easy way to Know the right owner of blue jeans at a glance. I put the first name -of each bey on the inside back waist band with an ink laundry marker. Now there is no guess work and better yet no fussing because of mixed up jeans. Mrs. T. N. Kirkpatrick Letters to Heloise should be sent to her in care of King Features Syndicate, 235 E. 45th St., New York, N. Y. 10017 Teenage Mail Smart Girls Avoid Show-Off Drivers Our Town Dinner for Betrothed Couple Pre - nuptial courtesies fo Barbara Elaine Ashford and he fiance, David Ray Rcckbolc wi'l end with an 8 pm after-re hearsal dinner Friday at th Elks club. Featured will be a ficral cen terpiece in red and pink, th bride - elect's chosen weddin colors. The rehearsal will be at pm Friday at the First Presbyterian Church, where the couple will be wed at 10 am Saturday. One Will Reign These Brown-Mackie school of business coeds are vying for "Personality Queen". From left, front row, Sara Jo Almquist, Assaria; Candace McKee, Selden, Kas.; Sandy Ferris, Frankfurt, Kas.; Merrilyn Schlessner, Herington, and Marlys Stohs, Hanover, Kas. From left, back row, Lana Peterson, Lebanon, Kas.; Yvonne Schemming, Hope; LaDonna Montee, Gypsum; Novella Gregory, Alton, Kas., and Cheryl Perry, Junction City. Club Calendar TUESDAY Free sewing class, 1:30 pm, American Community Center, vlrs. Gfenn Garrison, instructor. Will-o-Wee TOPS club, 9-9:25 weigh-in, 9:3D am meeting, Holiday Bowl. Ladies of the GAR, 2 pm, Memorial hall. Election of officers. Art and Home Culture club [, 1 pm Christmas lunchecn, Howard Johnson restaurant. VFW auxiliary post 1432, 6:30 pm Christmas dinner; adult education, Grand Avenue Methodist Church. WEDNESDAY Westside community club, noon covered dish dinner, Mrs. Elmer Weis, Salina RFD 1. Gift exchange. Bring own table service. Please telephone nr mill newa o! club events to T^e Imirnal within 24 hours. Women's pate deadllni IB 9:30 am. Brown-Mackie Coeds to Compete for Queen Title Church Calendar This year's "Personality, Queen" of Brown-Mackie school of business will be crowned by Mayor G. N. Waddell during the school's Christmas formal Thursday evening. Ten coeds are competing for the title. There will be four attendants. "Snow Carnival" is theme of the formal at 8:15 at the Naticn- al Guard Armory. The Earl VanCleef orchestra will play for danc? ing. Intermission entertainment will consist of a program by the Ivis Meitler school of dancing and presentation of the queen and her court. The queen and attendants will be cho.en by student ballot at the 9:35 am Yule assembly Wednesday at the Fox theater. Their denlity will remain a secret until the formal. ADVERTISEMENT Youthful Beauty From the early j bedtime massag,e twenties, with a j vitalizing night cream is i ideal for softening traces of j surface skin dryness and J tiny lines. Apply Olay vitalizing night cream to cheeks, forehead, and throat and coax it Into the skin with light, upward moulding strokes, then remove with a tissue. Such care will encourage complexion loveliness. . . . Margaret Merril. The Shower home of Mrs. Beulah Rockhold, 649 S. 12th, mother of the prospective bridegroom, was the scene of an earlier bathroom shnwer for Barbara. Entertaining were Mrs. Roy BatcheUer, Mrs. Maxine Clark, Mrs. Dorothy Little and Mrs. Loren Bacho'er. Among the guests was the honoree's mother, Mrs. Howard E. Ashford, 903 S. 5th. TUESDAY LCW of St. John's Lutheran Church; Bethlehem, 6:30 pm covered dfrh, Mrs. Augusta Simmons, 112 S. Front; $1 gift exchange. Jerusalem, 7:30 pm, Mrs. Russell Fender, 116 W. Minneapolis; $1 gift exchange. Group six of the CWF of the First Christian Church, 8 pro, Mrs. Robert Minshall, 913 Manser Road. the flow of thoughts and ideas I have one trick which always saves me. When I am really worried about something, I have reason to be worried about, 1 stop, relax and think, "Well after all, nobody is going to chop my head off". Have Opportunity It is too bad that more people do not have the opportunity to get in touch with what I call "the forces of life" more often, because to do so is re'uvcnat- ing and reassuring. Remember how it feels to be in the country or on water, under a star-studded sky, when all Is silent, or when snow ha* blanketed the earth, hiding everything in view which isn't beautiful, and there is not a single sound? Complete silence! You can feel strength pouring into you! Yet many folks never even stop for a few minutes to enjoy a stunning sunset from the top of a hill or from a window in their home. This is such a waste ot plcwure and alto ol inner re- By Dorothy Rlcker Dear Mrs. Ricker: I am a 16 - year - old junior in high school. I haven't dated very mi'ch until this year so this prcblem hasn't bothered me before. Almost all the boys I date are 16 to 18 years old and most of them have their own cars. If not, we double date with a boy who does have a car. Ricker Reluctantly, my parents have given me permission to car date, but they don't like the idea. I can understand their reasons, "not enough driving experience", "show-offs", etc. Every time I go on a car dale they worry, and there is a big discussion about me riding with teenagers. How can I persuade them to step worrying? These situations will be coming up more and more. It's just a natural course of events in my life. I will ap predate your advice. Thank yo«! PATSY serve and health. I am sure thai body chemistry changes at such times. Perhaps we should try to ap proach each day in such : mood. Everyone needs to ge away from the rat race at times and life isn't nearly so ratty as w« sometimes make it. Always write to Josephine Lowman in care of the Register-Tribune Syndicate, D« Moinei, Iowa. 3ear Patsy: Car dating Is one of the most difficult things for conscientious parents to accept. The best way ,o allay their fears is for a girl o prove she is trustworthy and her judgment is sound. When parents have confidence in their offspring, they usually have confidence in their choice of friends, too. In meet schools the wild, show-off drivers are well known, and the smart girls avoid them as they would a case of smallpox. So, if you can convince your parents, you will ride only with careful drivers they will worry a lot less and the car- date tension will be eased at home. Then, too, as time goes on your parents will develop more confidence in you and your choice cf dates. Mail tor Doroinj nicker mould oe ent 10 nei In c*re oJ tn» Rexiste? and Tritium Syndlciti. Dei Molnrj Iowa 6(1304 Three Wisemen and two large silver candles in crystal containers, entwined with greenery, decorated the table at the annual Christmas dinner party for Omicron chapter of Epsilon Sitma Alpha sorority. Hostesses were Mabel and Bertha Shelton and Libby Mc- 'lure at their home, 539 Upper- mill Heights. Eighteen women were present. Pauline Cowger read the story and legend cf the pine tree and the Indian version of the 23rd Psalm. The legend of Chris- mons emblems was discussed by Mrs. B. W. Hancock as she described each emblem that she displayed. Each member received a wooden letter opener brought back from Jerusalem by Mrs. Cora Shellon. "Happy Birthday" was sung to Bertha Shelton, Lois Todd and Mrs. Dee Atteberry. There was a gift exchange, and members furnished canned go:ds to be given to the Salvation Army. _„»» .»»_ The Grand Avenue Methodist Church was the scene of the Christmas dinner party of Harmony club of the Woman's Relief Corps. Attending were 21 members and two guests, Mrs. Garry Houghman and Mrs. Gene Hoffer. Devotions were given by Mrs. Cora Shelton. Table appointments were poinsettias, large tapers and small Christmas trees of green feathers made by Mrs. Mike Lamer. Mrs. W. M. Freeman, Mrs. Milton Lehman and. Mrs. Charles Williams formed the committee for the decorations. Mystery pals were revealed with a gift exchange. December birthdays honored were Mrs. H. M. Schumaker, Mrs. Fred Clifford and Mrs. B. F. Burgess. The party closed with the group singing a hymn. Employes of the Vahsholtz Implement company and their wives were entertained Sunday with a Christmas dinner party at the Brookville hotel. The women were presented corsages as favors. 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