The Orlando Sentinel from Orlando, Florida • Page 56

E-12 The Orlando Sentinel, Friday, Maroh 28, 1963 Author advises both sets of parents to take the secrecy out of adoption By Judith Curtw COX NEWS MffVICI AUSTIN, Texas The letter it addressed to nameleu baby, signed by an equally nameless mother, who aimi to fill the emotional vacuum created for each on the day someone else took the child home. "I wanted you to have the best chance to live your life to the fullest," she writes. "Even if that included living your life without me." Such communication, painful as It may seem, can make the separation easier to accept for the mother who gives her baby up for adoption. And, says Phy-11s Speedlin, co-author of a book advocating open adoptions, such honesty can fill in crucial gaps for the child curious about his background. "When the child says "What was my real mom parents can answer" with photographs and letters, says Speedlin, the mother of two adopted girls.

Speedlin says that such openness at the front end of an adoption may help eliminate the needs of adopted children searching for their biological parents. There are an estimated 2 million such children in the United States. Speedlin adopted her oldest daughter under closed adoption, which led Speedlin to help found the Adoption Awareness Center In San Antonio to help other adoptees deal with their closed adoptions. Her younger daughter, on the other hand, has received letters from her birth mother and pictures. The difference, Speedlin says, is crucial to a child's sense of identity.

Speedlin's book, Dear Birthmother, ($7.95, Corona Publishing co-written by Kathleen Silber of Lutheran Social Services in San Antonio, alms to open up adoptions by attacking what the two women call the myths of adoption. These are: The birth mother is an uncaring person who gives up her baby without second thought. On the contrary, Speedlin says, 99 percent of birth mothers want to keep their kids, but dont because of financial or family circumstances. Secrecy is necessary to protect all parties to the adoption. With 2 million adoptees searching for their biological parents, such secrecy can hinder their genuine need to know, Speedlin says.

Birth parents will forget about their unwanted children. On the contrary, Speedlin says, they think about their children for years. Knowing that they are well taken care of can lessen the grief of separation. If an adopted child really loved his adoptive parents, he wouldn't need to search for his birth par- ents. In many cases of reunion between biological parent and child, she says, the experience reinforces the child's love for his adoptive family.

Jf SiJiSJMf uvJ a ff 11 V-WTt sUrETEEME) a mm MB K(yj Safari meal-ticket deadline is today Last call for chow. The deadline for ordering Sentinel Safari meal tickets is today. Breakfasts and dinners on the 410-mile bicycle tour through north Central Florida are all-you-can-eat affairs provided by civic, church and school organizations. The total price of all 13 meals on the ride from April 4 to 9 is $54.43, Including a spaghetti dinner the night before the ride begins and a baked ham dinner at the conclusion of the Safari. You can order as many, or as few, meals as you want.

Prices range from $2.68 to $5.65. Lunches are not Included and restaurants at overnight stops are limited. Checks should be made payable to Sentinel Safari and sent to Sentinel Safari, P.O. Box 1100, Orlando, Fla. 32802.

Registration for Safari '83 extends to April 4, the first morning of the ride. For more Safari information, phone (306) 420-5624. a urn Share in a Walt Disney World Easter season celebration tomorrow through April 91 With both the Magic Kingdom and Epcot Center open till midnight, you'll have more time to enjoy all your favorite attractions and entertainment plus, special delights inside the Magic Kingdom: Main Street Electrical Parade, 9 All p.m. MEAL characters and themes done up irf, From E-1 haif-a-miinon twinkling ngnts, to merry beat of "electrosynthe-magnetic" music. "Fantasy In the Skv" or chicken billed as "fresh," as you will in some supermarkets.

There are several good meat markets hereabouts, notably Petty's in Longwood, which serves free beer to shoppers, but for reasons of geography and sobriety I usually end up at Crocker's. So after all that, how do the galloping gourmand's meals turn out? For an objective opinion you'll have to ask the guests. Anyway, getting the ingredients is half the fun. Fireworks, 10 p.m. The sky above Cinderella Castle is showered with an explosion of color.

"Jolly Holiday Easter A Celebration," 3 p.m., April 3. More than 570 singers, dancers, musicians and characters re-create "Mary Poppins" in a spectacular procession. Be a part of the excitementl dise is very good. It's also a good place to find imported oils and vinegars worthy of putting on the good greens purchased earlier. Both the Wine Cheese Cellar and the Little Big Horn carry fresh baguettes, which cuts down on the number of stops that the peripatetic shopper has to make.

But if you want to pick up some spectacular pastries as well as fresh bread, you can stop at Paris Baguette (959 W. Fairbanks Winter Park), Swiss Alpine Bakery (702 Orange Winter Park) or Les Champs Elysees (2515 E. South Orlando). If Italian food is on the menu, Sandroni's (1803 E. Winter Park Road, Orlando) might be added to the itinerary.

This little corner grocery and bakery has a good selection of fresh Italian bread, fresh pasta and Italian sundries. For seafood, it's Lombardi's (1152 Harmon Winter Park). The fish is fresh, and the customers and staff are entertaining. The place bustles just the way seafood markets are supposed to. Even if I'm not planning on serving fish, I like to visit Lombardi's simply because the atmosphere is so invigorating.

Crocker's Meats (4345 Edge-water Drive, Orlando) is the meaty equivalent of Lombardi's. There is plenty of banter between the customers and the employees and there is an abundance of excellent beef, pork, chicken, hot dogs and good homemade Italian sausages, all at reasonable prices. You wont find half-thawed beef at 329 Park Ave. Winter Park, and Edibles Longwood Village Shopping Center. The first trip is to the Winter Park Farmer's Market on New York Avenue.

This market is only open on Saturdays and you have to get there early to find the choicest produce. Usually you can find good, vine-ripened tomatoes and crisp greens in some variety. The market also features merchants selling good coffees, spices and baked goods Including some excellent bagels, the perfect choice for breakfast the next morning. The farmers' market is a colorful social scene, but for consistency, longer hours and a greater variety of produce the place to go is the Little Big Horn produce market at 2608 Temple Drive, Winter Park. At the Little Big Horn you almost always will find a half-dozen kinds of lettuce, good tomatoes, leeks and plenty of relatively exotic items such as papayas, Hass avocados, celery root and occasionally even some fresh herbs.

There are numerous places to go for cheese and wine. The Wine Cheese Cellar, 346 Park Ave. Winter Park, is a good place to get both. Prices are not low, but the staff is knowledgeable and congenial and the merchan The critic eats two courses of words: In last Sunday's restaurant review I mentioned in passing that Boston's Parker House is defunct. That was an error, as several readers who have dined there recently informed me.

The Parker House changed ownership quite a few years ago, was renovated and reopened as part of the Dunfey hotel chain. Long may she live. In an earlier review I implied that Jim and Sheila Alexander were the owners of Alexander's. Not so. Jim Alexander is the chef.

Sheila Alexander has no official association with the restaurant. Alexander's is owned by a partnership of local investors. I also stated that bread is not served with dinner. Again, not so. It just wasnt served with my dinner.

I returned to Alexander's recently and not only was the dinner excellent, but bread was presented and it, too, was excellent Apologies to all concerned. FEAST OrJ THE COAIFERERICE CENTER EASTER BUFFET if April 3, 10 a.m.-4 p.m. Bring the entire family to the Walt Disney World Conference Center at Lake Buena Vista I Savor a selection of fresh salads, fruits and vegetables and succulent mam courses like Steamship Round of Beef, Roast Leg of Spring Lamb and Baked Ham. Sip some complimentary champagne or champagne punch. Then take your choice of scrumptious desserts.

Live music enhances the SICK PLAYMATE From E-1 From E-1 elegant surroundings. Plus, Mrs. Easter Bunny and the "White Rabbit" will be on hand for complimentary photosl The value: til .95 (adults, 19 and older), $8.95 (juniors, 12-18) and S6.25 (children. 3-11). For reservations, call (305) 828-3723.

9 a.m.-5 p.m. Must be 19 and older. L1EET FAILED ARTISAN LLADRO UNDER THE CAPTAIN'S TOWER March 30 April 3, 11 a.m.-l p.m., 6-8 p.m. Meet Senor Juan Uadr5, owner and creator of the Uadr6 of Spain porcelain figurines! Special selections from Senor Uadr6s 2,000 creations will be on display and available for purchase. In addition, Senor Lladr6 will autograph figurines and his book, "Uadro The Art of Porcelain." Plus, you can enter a daily drawing for a Uadro porcelain figurine.

Tomorrow through Tuesday. March 29, discover the lustrous creations of Perlas Majorca jewelers, from noon-6 p.m.; and watch the Arribas Brothers craftsmen demonstrate the ancient Damascene art of inlaying 24-karat gold on forged steel, from II a.m.-9 p.m. Anything that undermines the patient's confidence and hope is negative. Hope is important to the healing process." Martin cautions against reproaches about health habits; there's not much point in telling a person with severe emphysema that he should have stopped smoking. A nurse at St.

Luke's-Roosevelt who has observed the behavior of many a hospital visitor believes it is good to try to establish a feeling of normalcy. 'Try to be with someone exactly as you would be in their home," says the nurse, Susan Block. "Remind that person of their qualities other than as a sick person. People in sickness tend to get cut off from their strengths and resources, because we put them in such a passive role. Talk about things they are Interested in.

Talk about the outside world. Involve them in decisions being made at home or at work, to help them to feel more in control." But a feeling of normalcy In a hospital room is not easy to achieve. Even as simple a thing as the kiss of greeting can provoke qualms. "A lot of people are afraid to get close to someone in a hospital bed," Block says. "They think, Dare I kiss One patient, Louisa Shoupe of San Francisco, who has severe rheumatoid arthritis, has observed the entire range of people's attitudes.

"One or two people are really perceptive," she says. "There are also the guilty ones who call up and say, 1 should be doing more for And there are the ones who take a cheerful Pollyanna attitude, which drives me up the wall. But others say the right things, like, 'Just take this a day at a Martin of St Luke's-Roosevelt thinks there may be something more important than what people say or dont say. "In illness your body is threatened, your defenses are down. You may need to talk about all Qvat Perhaps the most important thing a friend can do is just listen.

Listening is a way of caring." man-at-a-time nature of the event that inspired the "aw shucks" manners. Or maybe, as Loving says, men wait until Saturday night to be rowdy in her presence. John Michelsen, 25, got Loving's autograph. His behavior was common. "I got all choked up.

It was embarrassing. All I could say was: "You're very She said, Thank John Maloney, 17, says he didn't expect her to be so gorgeous. Rick Simpson, 26, calls her a doll. Sean Noble, 14, says she is awesome. Mike Wiggs, 12, acknowledges that Loving is the prettiest female he's ever seen.

But his friend, Mike Foss, 12, says he's seen prettier. Where? "In stores and stuff." Loving describes how big men make small talk. They congratulate me on my degree or they ask if I've ever been in movies or they ask me for a date." Is she allowed to accept? "If I want. But I usually say I cant" One man gave her a pamphlet: "God's Simple Plan for Salvation." She promised to read it At the other end of the hall, Lou "Incredible Hulk" Ferrigno was working his own crowd. (Some said his handshake was weaker than Loving's.) "One more question," said the muscleman to the crowd, "and I'll give you a flex." Back at Loving's platform, an enchanted man whispered his fantasy: "Imagine if she said, 'One more question, and I'll give you No go.

Loving's was a wholesome, class act Her sexuality was wrapped in formality. Each time man brought her a copy of her centerfold, she inked it as if she were signing a bill into law. Between appearances, Loving retreated to her dressing room to work on a college take-home exam: How does one deal with the inherent conflict of roles? That's perfect for me," she says. "Being pretty is a role I have to play. Yes, that's part of me.

But I'm also a student, a sister, a daughter And by Playboy standards, at age 26, she is now an older woman. In January 1984, the magazine will announce its 30th Anniversary Playmate. The winner's birjjdate may be as recent as 1965. A child. But, UkeToving, she will surely have the yjirm to turn passionate men into bashful boys.

It all happens under the Captains Tower. The Treasures of Spain at the Viliagel AT VIUGE EXIT Open 10 a m-10 daily. nawManr.