The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas on April 26, 2001 · Page 20
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The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas · Page 20

Salina, Kansas
Issue Date:
Thursday, April 26, 2001
Page 20
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C8 THURSDAY, APRIL 26, 2001 THE SAUNA JOURNAL Horoscopes By Joyce Jillson Creators Syndicate Inc. • ARIES (March 21-April 19). Dictate the mood instead of letting It dictate you. You can do anything you once thought you had no talent for, such as public speal<ing, playing a musical instrument, fixing computers or acting. They are all within your scope of ability. • TAURUS (April 20-May 20). You are attracted to fancy cars and other luxuries more than the next guy/gai, therefore it's time to start saving moneyl Being proactive Is better than letting the best things In life pass you by. Work hard to get what you want. • GEMINI (May 21-June 21). Make cross-references within different fields of knowledge for the sake of educating yourself. Make room for a new project, even if you have no idea how it will fit into your dally routine. You'll discover new ways of making money • CANCER (June 22-July 22). •You will be taken care of, no matter what, so why not let go of your worries? Market your artistic work with the help of a Gemini or Sagittarius. It's time to draw the line in personal matters, and you have the courage to speak up this evening. • LEO (July 23-Aug. 22). Tie up loose ends. People who don't listen. are tiresome. Someone innocent will surprise you with worldly knowledge and sophistication. You'll feel as If you are the Innocent onel Music ignites passion between you and your mate tonight. • TODAY'S BIRTHDAY (April 26). You'll get faster results In your career this year than you could ever imagine. So relax while your luck Is spectacular, and let things settle In. Family members have insights this month that may help you In your planned adventure. Avoid "get-rlch- quick" schemes in June. Protective forces are at work to Insure benefits and vacation time. Make romantic decisions in August. Your lucky numbers are; 5, 37,31, 33 and 17. •VIRGO (Aug. 23-Sept. 22). You are sexy, and many would love to pursue you. You get more business deals by being cool, not pushy. You also have luck In sales and presentations. You excel because your nerves give you an energetic edge. • LIBRA (Sept. 23-Oct. 23). Your love relationship will take off when you decide to throw your hands up and go with whatever happens. Your popularity is on the rise. Say "no" when you want to, and life becomes simple. A starlight walk will be highly romantic tonight. • SCORPIO (Oct. 24-Nov. 21). You can turn events in your favor if you remain calm. Act as if you already have the funds to launch an Idea, and everything will fail Into place. Give compliments sparingly so others will know when you really mean It. Flatter yourself, too. • SAGITTARIUS (Nov. 22-Dec. 21). A charitable deed will bring you satisfaction and recognition. The love interest you are planning to entice Is either a Libra or Gemini. Flirtation will lead to a serious relationship before you know it, so be careful who you flirt with. • CAPRICORN (Dec. 22-Jan. 19). You may recall memories from the past through the day's events. You may also experience deja vu, have a dream about an Incident you'd entirely forgotten or share nostalgic recollections with good friends. A Leo lusts after you. • AQUARIUS (Jan. 20-Feb. 18). Love Is In the air, and it carries the wonderful vibes of spring and joyful possibilities. You favor outdoor sports, yoga and other physical activities. Take your pick of pleasures that are right at your fingertipsi It will be healthy for you, too. • PISCES (Feb. 19-March 20). Loving words go a long way with family You have a good chance of landing your dream job, but only if you go after It assertively. Be available to a good friend in need, especially to another Pisces. Your advice is a valuable commodity. Salina lorecast Today High: 81 Low: 49 Sunny. South wind 5 to 15 mph. Tonight, ciear. 8:18 p.m. 6:38 a.m. Today's Sunset Tomorrow's Sunrise Friday High; 83 Low: 53 Sunny. In the evening, clear. Saturday High: 84 Low: 54 Mostly clear. High: 84 Mostly clear. Low: 53 Monday High: 83 Mostly clear. Low: 54 * Source: Salina Journal Weather Station TEMPERATURES Yesterday Normal Record/Year High 76 70 94/1989 Low 44 48 31 /1910 • High and iow to 9 p.m. PRECIPITATION Wednesday (to 9 p.m.) 0.00 Tuesday (24 hours) 0.00 April to date 4.11 Average April 2.76 Year to date 9.76 Average year through Apr. 6.68 Average year 30.43 Kansas today 608 508 FRONTS: COLO WAFIM O 2001 AccuWeather, Inc. STATIONAFtY (B) (D El High Low Showers Rain T-storms Flurries Snow mi m ^ m 0 Ice Sunny Pt. Cloudy Cloudy Kansas data U.S. forecasts HI LO PREC HI LO OTLK HI LO OTLK Chanute 76 45 Albuquerque 79 49 PCIdy Miami Beach 81 70 CIdy Cofleyvllle 79 44 Anchorage 50 30 PCIdy Mpls-St Paul 72 47 CIdy Concordia 75 44 . trace Atlanta 73 47 PCIdy New Orleans 79 57 CIr Dodfle City 77 39 Baltimore 65 37 CIr New York City 64 44 PCIdy Emporia 78 48 Boston 56 38 CIr Oklahoma City 81 48 CIr Garden City 79 38 Charlotte.N.C. 69 41 CIr Omaha 83 48 CIr Goodland 77 37 Chicago 75 42 PCIdy Orlando 79 62 CIr Hill City 80 38 Dallas-Ft Worth 85 55 CIr Philadelphia 67 38 CIr Hutchinson 79 39 Denver 74 43 CIr Phoenix 9p 70 PCIdy Lawrence 76 47 Honolulu 83 71 CIr St Louis 81 52 CIr Manhattan 77 42 Houston 83 50 CIr San Diego 67 59 PCIdy Russell 75 43 Kansas City 81 48 CIr San Francisco 67 50 PCIdy Topeka 77 48 Las Vegas 93 63 CIr Seattle 61 50 CIdy Wichita 78 43 Los Angeles 77 59 CIr Washinglon.D.C 65 40 CIr KANSAS ROAD CONDITIONS HOTLINE 1-800-585-7623 Provided by the Kansas Highway Patrol NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE WEB SITE weather warnings, forecasts, radar People By The Associated Press Berle's tumor not removed LOS ANGELES — Milton Berle has a small cancerous tumor in his colon but doctors have decided against surgery. "He's actually doing very well. He's doing fine," Berle's wife, Lorna, said Wednesday. "It's a small tumor in his colon. He isn't scheduled for any surgery, but that could always change. He is in no pain." Berle, who turns 93 on July 12, vows to win his cancer battle and is looking forward to living to at least 100, she said. The comedian and TV pioneer known to generations as Mr. Television uses a wheelchair because his legs have weakened, his wife said, adding, "he gets a kick out of sailing into restaurants in it." Berle and his wife dine twice a week at Spago and he spends most afternoons at the Friars Club in Beverly Hills. Hall pitches baseball movie WASHINGTON — Anthony Michael Hall isn't embarrassed seeing his younger, geeky self in the 1980s movies in which he made his name, such as "Sixteen Candles" and "The Breakfast Club." "I actually look back with fondness on the whole period. I'm glad that I'm a part of some comedies that people remember," Hall told AP Radio. Hall plays New York Yankees "ALL pitcher Whitey Ford in the HBO movie "61*,"' about the 1961 race between Mickey Mantle and Roger Maris to break Babe Ruth's single-season home-run record. The 33-year-old actor spent about a week learning how to pitch left-handed until he learned he wouldn't have to do it in the movie. He could pitch with his right hand, and the filmmakers would simply flip the negative. "61*," produced and directed by Billy Crystal, airs at 8 p.m. Saturday Janet extends her forgiveness NEW YORK — First Janet Jackson learned to forgive her ex-husband, Rene Elizondo Jr., after their 1999 divorce. Now, she's forgiving her father, Joseph. "I am really starting to get to know my father, now. For the first time — I reaUy feel — in my life. Strange, right?" she tells Diane Sawyer on ABC's "PrimeTime Thursday," which airs at 9 p.m. JACKSON "^^^ singer says her father, whom members of the musical Jackson family have said was strict during their childhood, has changed. "It's still a work in progress. He — I think the older he is getting, he is realizing how important family truly is ... a lot of things that he did, really, was to make a better way for us," Jackson says. "And he did it the best way he knew how." Jackson's new album, "All For You," hit stores Tuesday. • ADVICE Musical prophylactic ain't just whistlin' Dixie Dear Ann Landers: A few years ago, you printed two columns about a condom that whistles "Dixie." I clipped them out to share with friends, and everyone who read them howled. I kept those columns on my refrigerator. Several days ago, I noticed they were missing. The columns were a real loss to me. Will you please run them again? — Ardent Fan of 40-Plus Years in Tennessee Dear Ardent Fan: Here are excerpts from the columns you requested. They originally ran in 1997, and in my opinion, are ^ among the most hilarious I've ever printed: Dear Ann Landers: I'll bet you think you've heard everything. Well,, you haven't. This item from Psychology and Health Update was taped to the bulletin 'if'' ANN LANDERS Creators Syndicate Inc. board at the hospital where I work; "U.S. Patent No. 5,163,447 was recently issued for a 'force-sensitive sound-playing condom.' Yup, it's a prophylactic that whistles 'Dixie.' During intercourse, a sound unit is supposed to sense movement and reward your efforts with a melody" — Dottie Oberdorfer, R.N., in Jacksonville, Fla. Dear Dottie: Thanks for a most unusual item. Since nothing surprises me anymore, I have only two questions: How are sales north of the Mason-Dixon line, and how the heck does that thing work? Well, dear readers, I received the answers to both questions in a column I printed a few weeks later: Dear Ann Landers: I read with great interest the letter about the prophylactic that plays "Dixie" when in use. You wondered how that thing v/orked. As an intellectual property lawyer, I took it upon myself to learn more about this intriguing invention. Enclosed you will find a copy of the patent issued in November 1992 to an inventor from Massachusetts. I will not attempt to get into the mechanics involved, but "Dixie" isn't the only thing it can play The inventor has said the message or music "may warn, compliment, stimulate, entertain or surprise the couple." Several specific examples of voiced messages included a warning about safe sex and a compliment to the couple for using a condom. Suitable melodies emanating from the condom are Tchaikovsky's "1812 Overture," "Happy Birthday to You" and "The Anniversary Waltz." In answer to your question about the sales north of the Mason-Dixon line, Ann, I suspect that they are selling like hot cakes if the product can play "Yankee Doodle." — Jeffrey A. Wolfson, Washington, D.C. Dear Jeffrey Wolfson: Thanks for the update. And now, dear readers, please, no more letters asking me to sell you the musical condoms. 1 am not in the condom business. Sexually transmitted diseases are a serious problem, however, and con­ doms can be a great help. Dear Ann Landers: "Jethro" and I have been married 14 years, and we are very happy together. Lately we have been discussing plans for our funerals. I have told Jethro I want to be cremated when I die. He refuses to do this and insists that I be buried in a cemetery next to him, so we can be together for eternity I am upset that Jethro has no intention of honoring my wishes. Is there any way I can make sure he does what I want? — Not Dead Yet in New York Dear Not Dead Yet: No way — unless Jethro dies first. You can state your wish' es in your will, with instructions given to your close relatives, your lawyer and the funeral home. It will not guarantee that Jethro will follow through, but it increases your chances. Write to Ann Landers at P.O. Box 11562, Chicago. IL 60611. TV TONIGHT 4/26/01 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 7:00 7:30 8:00 8:30 9:00 9:30 10:00 10:30 QPBS, B .H.-Hays Sun. Journeys Arts 3591 House 7442 Europe 3249 Mystery! 51171 Wait for God Keeping Up BTNN Martial Law 836133 Movie **» "Siesta" (1987) Ellen Barkin. (CC) 856997 Dead Man's Gun 835404 B NBC, Wichita Friends 7404 Weber 881 Will 6152 Just Shoot Me ER4881 News 3835152 Tonight Show Com. Central Movie **»"Beautiful Girls" (1996), Matt Dillon 2108065 Sports Night Sports Night Daily 6535065 Tlirn Ben DFOX,Wlc.-Sal. World's Worst Drivers 79171 Moment of Impact 4 55591 Star TVek: Voyager 75355 Star Trek: Next Gener. 78442 BNiclcelodeon Thornberrys Brady 996626 Diff. Strokes Facts of Life 3sCo 143607 SsCo 767336 All In Family All In Family QWB, Wichita Gllmore Girls 91317 Charmed 43715 Blind Date 80201 MASH 80256 Married 15084 BDESPN Stanley Cup Playoffs; Conf. Semi. Gm. 1 - Penguins at Sabres 948978 Baseball' Sport8center(CC) 246268 B Access 6, Sal. NAACP Freedom Fund Banquet 89317 Words of Encourage. 88201 River Festival 98688 BESPN 2 Stanley Cup Playoffs 6337978 Stanley Cup Playoffs 1821423 BWGN Movie "Prison of Secrets" (1997), Dan Uuria (CC) 438775 News 564539 Heat of Night 567626 GO) Family Chan. Major League Basebaii; Angels at Indians 758317 Explr.Unknwn 576046 700 Club 579133 BPBS,Wlc.-Hut. Sun. Journeys Gardener 5775 Mysteryl 93133 Eternal Road 13997 Journal 30152 News 16572 BTNT NBA Basketball Playoffs: Raptors at Knicks 310591 NBABasketbai Playoffs 430387 BABC , Kan. City Whose? 88794 Whose? 74161 Be a Millionaire 55539 Primelime Thursday 35775 News 3016323 Seinfeld GQCart. Networi< Johnny Bravo Dexter's Lab Bugs 6674171 Tom and Jerry Filntstones Scooby Doo Johnny Bravo Dexter's Ub fQ) ABC, Wichita Whose? 6336 Whose? 1133 Be a Millionaire 46249 Primetlme Thursday 59713 News 1231442 NIghtllne GBSCI Fi Crusade 1015046 Movie •*»"TheHidden"(1987),EdO'Ross 1028510 Crossing Over Crossing Over B CBS, Wichita Survlvor-Aust Outback 55997 CSI: Crime Sen 31317 48 Hours 44881 News 1226510 Late Show EQAP Shark 89046 Big Cat Diary Encounter Twisted 77201 AnimalX 59681 Insectia 58189 Shark 86510 Big Cat Diary« t Q|CBS,Topei<a Survlvor-Aust. Outback 77133 CSi: Crime Sen 86881 48 Hours 73317 News 6199959 Late Show GB Lifetime Unsolved Mysteries 583336 Movie "Echo" (1997) Jack Wagner, Alexandra Paul. 563572 Golden Girls Golden Girls J B Encore Movie * *» "The Jewel of the Nile" (1985) (CC) 1325688 Movie "When a Man Loves a Woman" (1994) 79542464 GBUSA Nash Bridges 409775 Movie * *)i "Stargate" (1994) Kurt Russell, James Spader. (CC) 422220 Martin 66613S^ B Showtime Movie • % "3 Strikes" (2000) 971510 Extras 332539 Movie • * * "Scream 3" (2000) David Arquette. 495572 EE) CNBC Hardball 1316704 Rivera Live 1325442 Brian Williams 1312978 Hardball 13150< B5 BHBO Movie Cont'd Moulin 356034 Movie • * % "The Whole Nine V ards" (2000) (CC) 229591 Strlppers-Nakd 6009713 B Encore Plus Movie "Warning Shot" Cont'd Movie "Kansas City Bomber" (CC) 6185775 Tekkaman 11 Tekkaman ii Tekkaman 11 Bcinemax Movie *U "Damlen: Omen II" (1978) (CC) 825959 Movie "The Final Conflict" (1981) Sam Nelll. 2757046 BTLC Secrets-Scienc e821201 Ancient Ancest 847249 Miami Morgue (N) 850713 Secrets-Scienc 6 820572 Bstarzl Movie *** "Shanghai Noon"(2000)(CC) 1674442 Movie "SupercopS" (1993) 9324336 58490133 BFOX Sports You-SeeThIsi Preps 213387 Thunderbox 542317 Beyond the Glory 555881 Sports 289336 Sports 298084. ^Discovery Human Combustion 874065 Beyond Bizarre 683713 Beyond Bizarre 870249 Justice Files 8/3336 BA&E Biography 869133 Movie "Awakenings" ( 990) Robin Williams, Julie Kavne .734442 Newsradio ggCNN Blltzer 335626 Point 951715 Urry King Live 423355 CNN Tonight Spin Room Sports 662317 Moneyllne BBET Oh Dramal 188133 Comlcvlew 197881 BET Live 184317 BET News BETTonlght BWTBS Movie **« "Murder at 1600" (1997) Wesley Snipes. 796317 Movie "Judge Dredd" (1995) 1999607 Bunlvieion Abrtome Muy Fuerte 93713 Mi DestlnoEresTu 79133 El Gran Blablazo 99997 P. Impacto NoticieroUnlv. M*A*S*H M'A'S'H Married... With Married... With Worst Explosns 3583688 Test 2537249 Color 2546997 BAIUIC Movie ***»' Splendor In the Grass" (1961) 2019733 Movie * * *»"Fantastic Voyage" (1966) 39141189 B Odyssey Medicine Woman 8331305 Movie "The Hound of the Batkerviiies" (2000) 2731161 Rescue 911 Rescue 911 QQoisney Movie Cont'd Movie "Motocrossed" (2001) Alana Austin. (CC) 2713046 Movie "Kidz In the Wood" (1996)22496602. Bi«TV Celebrity Celebrity Scared Straight 587152 Cribs 865442 Shaggy Celebrity Undr Celebrity Undr Scandals Scandals {True Hollywood Story 724959 Stem 533794 Stem 542442 CHANNELS NOT LISTED: fDPrevue, fgEducation Access, OJGovemment Access, B| raVH-l ^FitrVI, m Court TV, ^MSNBC, @Home & Garden, EQKnowledge TV, QT Weather Channel,SI Headline News, ^Home Shopping Network, fflQVC, ^{TCI FYI, BSCSPAN2, ^Country Music Television, Fox News, QQThe Food Network, GQAmerlca's Jewelry Store, QJCSPAN, GD ^Pay Per View, GQPIayboy

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