Engagements The Salina Journal Sunday, February 2,1986 Page 12 Cynthia Hewett GregMcCall Jolene Rehmer Rodd Glavin Melanie Charbonneau Greg Germann Gena Ostenberg Robert Koch Hewett-McCall GARDNER - Mr. and Mrs. Edward Leon Hewett announce the engagement of their daughter, Cynthia Louise, to Greg M. McCall, son of Mr. and Mrs. Albert McCall of Scandia. The bride-elect, a graduate of Shawnee Mission West High School, received a bachelor's degree in ed- uation from Emporia State University. She teaches in the Ola the School ^District. Her fiance graduated from Scandia High School and received a ' bachelor's degree in electrical engineering from Kansas State University. He is an engineer with Allied' Bendix Aerospace, Kansas City, Mo. A May 30 wedding is planned at the Church of the Holy Cross, Overland "Park. Rehmer-Glavin GRTNNELL — Joe and Lee Ann Rehmer, Rt. 1, announce the en- gagement of their daughter, Jolene Marie, to Rodd Christopher Glavin, son of Alex and Carol Glavin, 1003 N. Ninth, Salina. The bride-elect graduated from Grinnell High School and received a bachelor's degree in nursing from Marymount College. She is a staff nurse at St. John's Hospital. Her fiance, a Central High School graduate, received a bachelor's degree in business administration from Marymount. He works at Grigsby Greenhouse. They are to be wed May 24 at the St. Paul's Catholic Church in Angelus. Charbonneau- Germann CONCORDIA - Mr. and Mrs. Marshall Charbonneau announce the engagement of their daughter, Melanie Lyn, to Greg Germann, son of Mr. and Mrs. Donald Germann of Clifton. The bride-elect graduated from Concordia High School. She works at the Concordia Nursing Center. Her fiance, a graduate of Clifton High School and Cloud County Community College, Concordia, works at the Farmers Co-op in Clifton. An April 26 wedding is planned. Ostenberg-Koch Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Miles Ostenberg, 316 S. Oakdale, announce the engagement of their daughter, Gena Diane, to Robert Lester Koch, son of Mr. and Mrs. Robert Lee Koch, 740 Vassar Drive. The bride-to-be graduated from Central High School. She attends Brown Mackie College. Her fiance, also a Central High graduate, works for Thomas and Ostenberg Masonry Contractors. They are to be married at the First Christian Church, but no wedding date has been set. Patricia Hill Julie Soldan Darren Meyer Brian Cordel Donna Eilert Scott Remus HiU-Meyer SMITH CENTER — Mr. and Mrs. Alvin C. Hill announce the engagement of their daughter, Patricia Ludell, to Darren Wayne Meyer, son of Mr. and Mrs. Wayne 0. Meyer of Gaylord. The bride-to-be graduated from Smith Center High School and attended the Academy of Hair Design in Salina. She works at the New Image Salon, Smith Center. Her future bridegroom, also a Smith Center High graduate, studies pre-pharmacy at the University of Kansas. He is a salesman at the Napa Parts Store, Lawrence. Their marriage is to be solemnized May 31 at the First Presbyterian Church, Smith Center. Soldan-Cordel SUBLETTE — Ralph and Mary Ellen Soldan announce the engage- ment of their daughter, Julie Diane, to Brian Lee Cordel, son of Mary Lene Cordel of Tipton and the late Leo Cordel. The bride-to-be graduated from Macksville High School, Dodge City Community College and Bryan Institute, Wichita. She works for Koch Industries Inc. in Wichita. Her prospective bridegroom, a Tipton High School and McPherson College graduate, teaches and coaches at McPherson High School. Their marriage is to be solemnized April 12 at the St. Boniface Catholic Church, Tipton. Eilert-Remus BELOIT — Mr. and Mrs. George Eilert announce the engagement of their daughter, Donna Jean, to Scott Alan Remus, son of Mr. and Mrs. Darrell Remus of Glen Elder. The bride-elect graduated from St. John's High School. She majors in child care and guidance at Cloud Michelle Anschutz Ty Arnold County Community College, Concordia. Her fiance, a graduate of Waconda East High School, received an agribusiness degree from Fort Hays State University. He farms with his father south of Glen Elder. A July 26 wedding is planned. Anschutz-Arnold Geraldine Marie Anschutz, 1661W. Republic, announces the engagement of her daughter, Michelle Renee, to Ty Oliver Arnold, son of Naomi Arnold, 1107 Dover Drive, and Homer Arnold, 1114 Acorn Circle. The bride-to-be, also the daughter of the late Loren Anschutz, graduated from South High School. She is a checker at Food Barn. Her prospective bridegroom, also a South High graduate, works at Western Auto Warehouse. The United Methodist Church of the Cross is to be the scene of their May 17 wedding. Brides Dana Kopsa Stephen Doling Feona Clark Kenneth Attaway Robin Ratliff Richard Einspahr Kimberly Caywood Alden Ensminger JamiHayen GregWyatt Kopsa-Boling BELLEVILLE - Jerry and Pat Kopsa announce the engagement of their daughter, Dana, to Stephen Boling, son of John and Marie Boling of Salina. The bride-elect graduated from Belleville High School and Brown Mackie College. She works at Bullfrogs and Butterflies in Salina. Her fiance, a graduate of Concordia High School, attended Cloud County Community College, Concordia. He works for Security Pacific Finance of Salina. They have chosen April 5 as the date of their marriage. Clark-Attaway BARNARD — Mr. and Mrs. Bill Clark announce the engagement and approaching marriage of their daughter, Feona Marlene, to Ken- neth Dale Attaway, son of Mr. and Mrs. Dalton Attaway of Lubbock, Texas. The bride-to-be manages Worth's in Wichita Falls, Texas. Her future bridegroom is a warehouse receiving manager with Western Auto, Temple, Texas. They are to exchange wedding vows March 29 at Barnard's United Methodist Church. Ratliff-Einspahr KENSINGTON — Mr. and Mrs. Kenneth Ratliff announce the engagement of their daughter, Robin, to Richard Einspahr, son of Mr. and Mrs. Eugene Einspahr of Campbell, Neb. The bride-elect graduated from Kensington High School and Fort Hays State University. She teaches first grade at Lenora Grade School. Her future bridegroom, a graduate of Campbell High School and the University of Nebraska-Lincoln, teaches social studies and coaches at Lenora High School. They are to be wed June 21. Victories (Continued from Page 11) home. The parents duplicate it with household items and then practice the activity with their child until the next visit. This home therapy is important. "We at the school are an extension of the home. We only have the children three hours a day," Cook said. Because the mothers and fathers must deal with their child's struggles 24 hours a day, some may call them "exceptional" parents. "We weren't born to be exceptional parents, we were forced into the job," Miller said. "We're taught to be exceptional parents. "I'm not sure we're exceptional anyway," she added with a broad smile. Miller appreciates the advice school staff members give them. "We'll sing our praises (of the school) the rest of our lives." Cook said staff members must be "good listeners" because parents often express feelings of disappointment. Susan Frerking, whose son Neil is severely multihandicapped, had difficulty coping with his seizures and his disinterest in cooperation. "I felt totally frustrated before I brought him here," Frerking said. After enrolling in the school Neil's interest slowly increased, he has learned more self-help activities and he comprehends what other people say. "It's a lot easier to work with him. He's matured a lot." Salinan Marilyn Catania also sees a difference in her 2-year-old son, Doug, who is a spastic quadriplegic. "At home he does it (the activities), but there's a difference at school," she said. "The other kids provide motivation. There's more enthusiasm out here, it's not the same old stuff with the same old person."I have great hopes; we're all very positive out here." Staff members use various activities while working with each child individually. Thus a strong union between the instructor and child develops. Cook said the child's transition into a new program is often "tough on us." "We get so totally involved because we monitor everything they do. We serve the total child." Making referrals to other programs is "an anxious time because we all want what is best for the child." Cook's work is never finished because more handicapped preschoolers replace those who move on. She is a marathoner in special education; untiringly, she starts the daily routine of training again. "It gets in your blood. You can't stay a way." Footnotes reveal information about company NEW YORK (AP) - To read a company's annual report intelligently one should examine footnotes closely and know how to interpret key ratios that help determine the company's financial health. The profits story is sometimes in the footnotes, where a reader may find the reason earnings dropped. The reason for a rise or drop in earnings is often more important than the actual fluctuation. Key financial ratios should be analyzed. The price to earnings multi- pule, known as the P-E ratio, is an important measuring stick to companies in the same industry. Other important ratios include debt-equity, the quick ratio, and sales turnover. Caywood- Ensminger Mr. and Mrs. Frank Caywood, 713 Roach, announce the engagement of their daughter, Kimberly, to Alden Ensminger, son of Mr. and Mrs. Alden Ensminger Sr. of Moran. The bride-to-be graduated from Sacred Heart High School. She is a senior with a major in human ecology and a minor in early childhood education at Kansas State University. Her fiance, a graduate of Marmaton Valley High School, Moran, is a senior in agronomy at KSU. His fraternity is Sigma Alpha Epsilon. Their marriage is scheduled Sept. 20 at the St. Mary, Queen of the Universe Catholic Church. Hayen-Wyatt MARION — Mr. and Mrs. Max Hayen announce the engagement of their daughter, Jami Shirley, to Greg Wyatt, son of Mr. and Mrs. James Wyatt of Lost Springs. The bride-elect graduated from Marion High School, Butler County Community College, El Dorado, and Marymount College. She is a May candidate for a marketing degree from Emporia State University. Her fiance, a graduate of Centre High School and Bethany College, teaches history and psychology at Marion High where he also is a track and girls' basketball coach and an assistant football coach. An August wedding is planned at the Marion Christian Church. Attention, brides-to-be! A few tips will help the Living Today Department of The Journal handle your engagement and wedding reports more efficiently. Forms are available at the office, 333 S. Fourth, that detail all information the staff needs to write the announcement. Type or print information, as errors are prevalent when handwriting is difficult to read. Use rank for all servicemen in the wedding party. If picture is to follow, indicate on form. Engagements are published in the Sunday edition and the deadline is noon Thursday. Pictures should be 3- by 5-inch black and white glossy prints for the best reproduction. These may include the bride-elect only or the couple. Information and pictures for wedding stories must be received in our office no later than two weeks after the ceremony. Publication is on a space-available basis in Sunday editions. Pictures should be 5- by 7-inch black and white glossies. These may include the bride only or both of the newlyweds. Engagement and wedding pictures should be close-ups rather than full- length. Snapshots will not be accspt- ed. Articles about bridal showers are printed before the marriage takes place. The deadline for this information is one week in advance of the wedding date. Photographs can be returned in self-addressed, stamped envelopes or held at The Journal office for pickup. Fire department conducts hotel study TOLEDO, Ohio (AP) — A survey of hotel fire safety codes in 10 major U.S. cities has shown a majority of the codes do not set flame-resistance standards for upholstered furnishings or mattresses. The Boston Fire Department conducted the study, which examined the codes in the top 10 business travel cities. They are: Atlanta, Boston, Chicago, Dallas, Houston, Los Angeles, New York, San Francisco, Tampa and Washington, D.C. The study was underwritten by Owens-Corning Fiberglas 'Corp., a, major manufacturer of the glass fi- ber yarns used in producing new flame-resistant fabrics. Boston and Tampa are the only cities among those studied that regulate the flame-resistance of upholstered furnishings. Boston is the only one to regulate all hotel fur-, nishings, including upholstered furniture and mattresses. Tampa regulates upholstery fabric coverings in public areas of hotels. Guest room furnishings are the source of a third of all hotel fires, and cause more than half of the injuries in hotel fires, according to the National Fire Protection Association. Dating couples wonder who pays tab By The New York Times Mike Duffy knows we're supposed to be in the midst of a renaissance of romance. But somehow when he thinks of the contemporary dating scene, his thoughts turn to the two impeccably put- together young professionals featured in a credit- card commercial he sees on television. "She's a geologist and he's a banker and they're out on what appears to be their first date," said Duffy, a 25-year-old law student at the University of Pennsylvania. "She makes a point of putting their date on her American Express card, and he says he'll get the next meal. It's a way of showing they're equal bargaining partners. It makes the whole thing look like a merger or acquisition." It is not exactly an image that sends the heart and spirit soaring into romantic rapture, but it seems to be one that's very common in these muddled times. For many single people, the most awkward moment on a date has nothing to do with more traditional areas of intimacy. Instead, it's the moment of truth when the check arrives. Clearly, the era when men were always expected to pay for a date has disappeared. But it hasn't been replaced by any idealized notion of feminist reciprocity, in which both sides are under equal obligation to pay their own way. Instead, interviews with single people in their 20s and 30s indicate paying for a date is one of those hazy areas of social life that's determined according to who did the asking, the degrees to which people accept traditional sexual roles and who has the most money. Despite changing sexual mores, it's clear many men and women still expect the man to pay, particularly on a first and second date. That seems to be especially true outside the Northeast, where sex roles remain more traditional. Psychologists and sociologists say who pays for any human interaction is often a key to establishing roles in a relationship. So who pays for a date is not just an economic question. It's one that can help establish social expectations. "In our society, love is not independent of economics, and economics determine a graat deal about who has the power and influence in a relationship," said Carol Tavris, a social psychologist and writer. "You may not like it, but it's true that in dating and in marriage, he who has the gold makes the rules." Some women say they insist on paying their share of a date as a way to stave off any unwanted expectations, particularly the old assumption that, as one woman put it, "the man paid for dinner and the woman was dessert." Stacy Sass, a 26-year-old legal assistant with a Manhattan advertising agency, says she assumes the person who did the asking pays on a first date, but she prefers to split most of the dating costs, "Men who are in their late 30s or 4Os always expect to pick up the check. With them, I don't even bother to ask." — Debra Medowar depending on the income levels of both people. ' "The way it happens is that if someone takes you out for a wonderful, fancy evening they sometime expect you to pay them back in some way, and that , usually means sex," she said. "My feeling is I don't owe anyone anything, but I particularly don't iflpaymyownway." But many others find their thoughts becoming more pragmatic and traditional, particularly as they find their ideals clashing with their financial self-interest. "When I was 20 years old, I always offered to pay and often insisted," said Lisa Cagan, a 30- year-old Dallas public-relations manager. "It was a matter of pride and showing I could take care of myself. I still have pride as a woman, but who offers to pay for dinner has nothing to do with my worth as a person. "I'll offer to pay on a first date as a matter of courtesy, but if it's clear the other person has gobs more money than I. do, I'll thank him graciously for picking up the check and I don't offer after that. Dallas is an expensive city to eat dinner in. A sushi dinner is 50 bucks and I like sushi." Many others simply feel more comfortable with what they see as traditional courtesies in which a man does most of the asking and paying. "It's a very old custom and I happen to like it," said Josephine Johnson, a production manager with a Manhattan planning concern, who is in her late 30s. "It gives me a .sense of honor to feel someone wants to pay for me." Many men seem to prefer more traditional roles and still expect to pay for dates. But more than a few men complain that their dates' notions of equality sometimes stop when the check arrives. For them, who pays can be an indicator of a woman's attitudes toward male and female roles. "A friend of mine has gone out with a woman who has a good job with a big corporation, who seems very aggressive and independent, but who's very big on being treated like a lady," says Joseph DeRupo, 28, a law-school graduate from Elmont, N.Y., who works in the same program as Med- owar. "She refuses to even bring a purse on dates and once threw a fit when he did not have a single and asked her to leave a tip. If someone offers to pay her share with me, it's a big point in her favor. It shows she's a thinking person and has certain sensitivity." Part of the problem results from the soaring cost of entertaining. One history of social customs, "A History of Courting" by E.S. Turner, recounts a story told in the American Magazine of September 1924. In it, a jilted young man was appalled to find he had been spending as much as $20 a week on dating, while his father, in his courting years, spent about $20 a year. Since an evening of dinner and theater tickets for two can come to $200, many people find they make accommodations out of necessity. "In New York it costs so much to go out, a lot of men would be broke if they were expected to pay for everything," said Diane Bounds, a 27-year-old aspiring actress. "The only person I've dated lately is a struggling actor like I am. We both know in advance that neither of us has any money, so we expect to split things."
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