The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas on January 31, 1986 · Page 17
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The Salina Journal from Salina, Kansas · Page 17

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Salina, Kansas
Issue Date:
Friday, January 31, 1986
Page:
Page 17
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Fun The Salina Journal Friday, January 31,1986 Page 17 How about housewives'perks? The Far Side Crossword By Eugene Sheffer They sound like something that attacks the foundation of your house. Actually, they're better known as "perks" and they're incentive- grabbers above and beyond a paycheck that come with a job to sweeten the pot. >At first they started out as a company car, medical expense payments, disability insurance, legal and financial counseling. Then they got to be a little more personal like flown-in kosher food, movable greenhouses, and a gym and club membership. Perks spread to sports where amateur athletes got all kinds of them, none of which you could talk about without a lawyer present. Show business had a ton of perks that ranged from stars keeping their own wardrobe to having Dom Perignon replacing tap water in the dressing room. Probably one of the more bizarre perks was a proposal by the Independent Association of Publishers' Employees to the Wall Street Journal management that demanded cats be supplied for the editorial room and any other rodent-infested Tank McNamara Erma Bombeck LOS ANGELES TIMES area. (They would even accept nonunion cats.) I got to thinking about perks for housewives. Little goodies have never been part of the domestic scene, which could account for the reason three-fourths of them have gone to where the perks are — out of the home and into the business world. What added little incentives could be offered to lure women away from the marketplace and back into the home? My own window? I got 80 of them already, but I have to clean them. Freedom to go to lunch anytime I want? Big deal. I'm eating what everyone left on their plates from the night before. No, I think we're talking about some real luxuries that would entice women back to the utility room. How about a key to our own restroom? A spot that is ours and ours alone where we wouldn't have to wipe out the sink, pick up towels, put down lids and replace empty rolls with tissue. A parking place to call our own would be nice. A permanent place near the front door where we wouldn't have to move the car when someone else wanted out or have to carry groceries a whole block because the driveway was jammed. A VCR to record the "soaps" while women are "on the road" transporting kids, groceries and cleaning. How about a contract that would give us Christmas, Thanksgiving and our birthday off? For some reason, housewives have been regarded much like teachers and garbage collectors (sanitary engineers). We are considered public servants who are above striking, putting a price on what we do, being crass enough to discuss m-o-n-e-y or lowering ourselves to negotiating in the marketplace, I don't know about the rest of you, but, sweetie, I can be bought! Primitive spelling bees The Family Circus ACROSS 1 Passover bread 6 "...— mouse?" 9 Parking spot 12 Ford flop 13 Mythic- bird 14 Two — kind 15 Small hat 16 Common campus wear 18 Practices 20 Symbol of redness 21 Doc's org. 23 Henpeck 24 Thoughts' cost? 25 Angel's prop 27 Microwave generator 29 "Relax," Army- style 31 More hackneyed 35 Passover service 37 The East 38 Diminish 41 Toddy ingredient 43 "Hansel — Gretel" 44 Ditto 45 Sales pitch DOWN 1 Convened 2 Bother 3 Drafting aid 47 "The Waste 4 Olympus Land 1 author 49 Saw 52 — Tin Tin 53 Actress MacGraw 54 Spock's portrayer 55 Archaic 56 Bud 57 Take potshots ruler 5 New York city 6 Nicaragua!) leader 7 Famed seamstress 8 Teutonic- cry 9 "Two Women" actress Avg. solution time: 28 min. 1-31 Ans. to yesterday's puzzle 10 Frequently 11 Scrumptious 17 Portugal's place 19 Played the odds 21 "Caught you!" 22 Wrestling need 24 Apiece 26 Light shade 28 Play the banjo 30 Envision 32 Tidal wave 33 German article 34 Radiation unit 36 X-ratod, perhaps 38 George .Jet son's dog 39 Mint plant 40 Fix. in a way 42 Mode 45 Soft drink 46 Norse god 48 Cartesian conclusion 50 Dein.'s foes 51 Ogle COMtRABAKlP... SCISSORS- ARE OKAY.. - For Better or for Worse OKAY, SO IT'S -rue fife 55 18 40 19 48 56 13 16 27 45 28 31 36 24 42 49 54 57 37 46 32 43 10 11 33 34 50 'Claire is one age older than me.' Ziggy CRYPTOQUIP 1-31 X A P F F V X G .1 DP G .1X1 B V B G S J F Z Y U I) S H X .1 D Z .1 J D X APYU Q.JSHQ DXIX. Yesterday's Cryptoquip: SIGN SEEN IN HALL AT PRISON LAUNDROMAT: "GRIME AND PUNISHMENT." Today's Cryptoquip clue: H equals P 1986 King Features Syndicate, Inc. iTSRlGrVrOVERyouR BED, LIZZIE. flU/TB= BCDSIEMENNTHE KfiTCtOlLUBEBBLElo CRFM-\KTbVOJR WILL-BE HERE PLRST>C CoveRoveR THE HOLE, \[ ELIZABETH. ...OOHOOKNOVJ The Lockhorns Hagar the Horrible "LORETTA WOULD MAKE A GREAT WRITER.... NOT OF SHORT STORIES, OF COURSE--" I'M AFRAIP IT WOOLPNT CO/WE BACK I HAVE A FEAR OF LETTING /V\V MINP WANPER 5O/V\e PEOPLE HAVE THE SILLIEST PHO&IA5 SOUNDS LIKE A TRAIN 60IN6 TMROU6H A TUNNEL, HUM, MA'AM? Hi and Lois Wizard of Id THAT'S WHAT H& THINKS , I HAVE ALL- THE PEANUTS FOR TUB HUNT ITS T/ME FOR THE <5UESTS TO ARRIVE - vARE WE Beetle Bailey Rex Morgan M.D. FAt? FROM IT VOU PIPM'T SRI MS A SLEEPING 3A6, _», OTTO, WHAT ARE VOU SLEEP OH THE COLt? SROUNC? EXACTLY WHAT PIP YOU SUGGEST THAT 6RANT DEW I SON PO ABOUT THE FACT THAT HE'S FALLIMG IN LCVE WITH J«| •— i A MUCH VOUN6ER WOMAN"? I TOLP HIM IT WOULP &£• WISE TO PATE OTHER 7 AS WELL--- WHICH, I WOW MUST ADMIT, WAS STUPID ADVICE TO GIVE A MAKl WHO IS IN LOVE ( FIRST, HE'D HAVE WO INTEREST IN DATIKIO OTHERS — AND, 6ECOND---HOW DOES HE ABOUT POIMG IT"? AFTEE HE LEFT THE OFFICE, I Cc Ai 12EP "THAT I CAN BE RATHER POMPOUS AT TIMES, ® JUNE: -^ ,.33/Jfc*- Blondie Born Loser AFTER A HARD WORK AND A F-FREEZING WALK HOME I ONLY NEED ONE WORD TO MAKE IT ALL WORTHWHILE AND! THAT'S y THE f WORD.' \V? OOR BU1LPIN6 HJNP...THB FLCXK SEEMS TO PEEL WE'RE-

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