The Courier-News from Bridgewater, New Jersey • Page 98

Author tells tale of forks, chopsticks and how to raise a bicultural son sy By JANE PRIMERANO Correspondent When patrons of the Bernardsville Public Library first see 2003 Cathy Author" Bao at 7:30 Bean p.m. at a on "Meet April the 2, they may not know quite what they are in for. The petite author who always HOWWW ing tight wears bun glasses her and long halfway usually "Chinese down has her hair" her in read- nose a at first doesn't appear to be the dynamic and truly funny speaker she actually is. before Bao Bean crowds. is used She to spent appearing years teaching philosophy at several colleges and now runs aerobics classes 'SMIN in Building, the Frelinghuysen a meeting converted Township room of schoolhouse Municipal the in the village of Johnsonburg, nearly every day.

COURIE her her It may energized, enthusiasm be the but for it aerobics her could book, that also keeps "The be Chopsticks-Fork Principle, a Memoir and a Manual." Years in production, it was published Dec. 1, 2002 and has been a hit "at least with people I know," Bao Bean joked. Initially conceived as a series of magazine articles, "The ChopsticksFork Principle" is the autobiographical saga of a Chinese-American Confucian who falls in love with a Midwestern WASP, Bennett Bean, who bears a resemblance to old tintypes of George Armstrong Custer. And he had chosen an occupation destined to disturb any father, Asian Bette could say 'Lucky Strike' and 'Shut The principal let her skip two grades and made me do kindergarten twice." She continued: "In 1949, we moved to Elmwood Park, New Jersey. I started to think in English and forget in Chinese." Talking in her farmhouse kitchen one sunny morning, Bao Bean described how her parents gradually grasped American culture, from mukluks to Halloween to Christmas, to what Americans do in the front yard (put out the garbage and get the paper) versus what they do in the back (barbecue).

After leaving the middle class enclave of Bergen County to study history and government at Tufts University in Boston, Bean learned more than she bargained for, she confessed. She learned why the school assigned her a Chinese roommate in spite of its assurances of a multicultural experience and "why the only black student rated a While in college, Bao Bean said, she became in her heart and mind what she had long been in fact an older sister. Her younger sister, SanSan, had not left China with Cathy, Bette and their parents. When SanSan finally reached America in 1962, Cathy learned of the deprivations she had endured while her sisters were living a middle-class life in Bergen County. That was part of the reason Bao Bean chose graduate school at Claremont in California, where she Turn your "treasures" into cash with a Courier News Garage Sale Market your garage sale where bargain hunters look for it the Courier News clip-and-save guide to garage sales.

Your garage sale package includes a one-column-by-two-inch ad for one, two or fhree days, and complete kit to help you plan and run a successful sale. You'll receive Garage Sale signs arrows Balloons Tips for running a successful sale Price stickers We guarantee sunshine or your garage sale ad is free the following week! To place your ad, call (877) 707-6500 today! Courier News Your news, every day. or Causacian: Artist. Caught between two (or more) cultures in Cathy Bao Bean rural Warren County, the two began raising a son, William Bao Bean, in 1974. Because she and Bennett are both storytellers by nature, Bao Bean said it was natural to chronicle their lives as well as her own story.

Her tale began in China, where she was born Bao Kwei-yee in the Year of the Water Horse. It continued in Brooklyn, where she emigrated when she was 4 years old, with her parents and older sister, Bette. She wrote in the book: "One day later, Bette and I were enrolled in Public School 8. I spoke no English. felt she would get to live with other Chinese.

And there she met Bennett Bean. She had made a list of characteristics she wanted in a mate and decided the best place to look would be in the music or art department, to avoid competition. It worked. "I have no right brain, he has no left brain," she laughed at a recent opening of his work. The Baos were chagrined.

The Beans were happy that their hippie son brought home a girl who wore shoes. Bennett's stock rose in his in-laws eyes when he became a college instructor and had a piece accepted by the Whitney Museum, but it didn't go through the roof until he had his picture taken at the White House wearing a suit (for which he had bartered a pot). It was when they were both teaching at colleges and planning a family that Bennett and Cathy bought their Johnsonburg barn with 12-foot ceilings and the rundown house that came with it. When their son William was born, Cathy promptly decided he needed to understand both sides of his heritage. She uses mealtime to illustrate the differences, hence the book's title.

A Chinese meal is served at a round table, with a lazy susan in the middle. Diners lean in and take portions with chopsticks, chatting with the other diners all the time. An American meal, at least a formal one, tends to be at a rectangular table and features a centerpiece that often blocks one diner's view of another. Utensils and serving pieces complement each dish being served. Moving on from that metaphor, Bao Bean invented the "Chopsticks- Fork Principle" and applied it to many aspects of raising a son.

"Our newly-born son was half Asian, half Caucasian," she wrote in her book. "Intellectually, I formulated his prospects from the wealth of his dual heritage, translating his ancestors' stories into a future neither side could have imagined, yet both had anticipated to some degree." Along the way, she learned about carpooling, dealing with small-town municipal government her first vote as an American citizen decided the mayoral race and the ultimate truths of zucchini in August. Bao Bean tried for years to get "The Chopsticks-Fork Principle" into print. Then one day Amy Hufnagel moved into town and joined the town hall aerobics class. Hufnagel is a coowner of We Press, which "has published work that mainstream publishers have rejected since 1982." A new mother herself at the time, according to Hufnagel, "when I heard Cathy Bao Bean had a text that was rejected because it didn't have enough 'family I was immediately intrigued." Hufnagel promptly arranged lectures and book signings, including one at the Johnsonburg Post Office that was greeted with aplomb by the locals.

"Everyone comes here, it's the logical place," noted Frelinghuysen farmer and historian Debra Natyzak, when she bought a book. The book culminates in a "chopsticks-fork wedding" at the Johnsonburg farm, but the story continues. Recently returned from a trip to Asia to visit William and his wife, Lisa, Bao Bean announced, "I have the next book." every Tuesday helps you make the most of the Web and your PC and keeps you up to date on the latest in electronic devices and games. Courier News Your news, every day. For convenient home delivery, call (800) 675-8645.

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